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Original poster

DH excluding DD in will

448 replies

Willmatters · 26/07/2023 21:23

NC for this thread

Married for 30 years with 4 DC in their twenties

Due to a family rift oldest DD has little contact with me and none with DH

Currently making our wills and I have stated that I wish my half of our joint assets to be split 50% to DH and the other 50% to be split equally between the 4 DC

DH has stated his half will be split 50% to me and the other 50% split 3 ways between the youngest DC i.e excluding oldest DD

I understand that he can do what he likes but I strongly disagree and I'm struggling to put my feelings aside

OP posts:
Tapasgoofy · 26/07/2023 21:24

She’s no contact with him. He has every right to not leave her anything.

Lonnnngsummerholidays · 26/07/2023 21:26

Split yours 40% to DH and give the additional 10% to your estranged daughter.

Did DH cause or make the family rift worse? It difficult to comment without knowing the background.

HaveHadKenough · 26/07/2023 21:26

I would hugely struggle with this too, it would be his last act to his children. Yes, he has the right to do it but why would he?

DustyLee123 · 26/07/2023 21:26

Why don’t you leave 100% of yours between your kids, so she gets more.

Spanky123 · 26/07/2023 21:26

His estate, his will

hotchocandtwosmokybacon · 26/07/2023 21:27

He is free to deal with his 50%. At least he has not left out the others.

Polik · 26/07/2023 21:29

Assuming ypu don't die at the same time, surely all of your estate goes to surviving spouse? Otherwise the children could force a house sale etc, because you won't own your own home yourself.

Dotcheck · 26/07/2023 21:31

Was your husband a good dad to her? Why the rift?

Lamelie · 26/07/2023 21:32

Polik · 26/07/2023 21:29

Assuming ypu don't die at the same time, surely all of your estate goes to surviving spouse? Otherwise the children could force a house sale etc, because you won't own your own home yourself.

This. Let’s hope he dies first.

MiddleParking · 26/07/2023 21:32

Are all of them biological children to him and you?

Keykaty · 26/07/2023 21:34

Are your assets held as a joint tenancy or as tenants in common?

If joint tenants then each share will pass automatically to the survivor so you cannot determine who will get what percentage of your or his share. If tenants in common then each of you can distribute your share as you wish.

If you are unhappy about his distribution leaving one child out, then you could leave your 50% share amongst all your children, leaving him out altogether.

However, that is a big step, but it could be done.

FirstFallopians · 26/07/2023 21:34

It’s hard to comment without knowing more about the estrangement, tbh.

Falling out over a silly misunderstanding or something then yeah he’s unreasonable. Going no contact because she didn’t something reprehensible, or ran away to join ISIS or whatever then I can see his point.

Original poster
Willmatters · 26/07/2023 21:34

Lonnnngsummerholidays · 26/07/2023 21:26

Split yours 40% to DH and give the additional 10% to your estranged daughter.

Did DH cause or make the family rift worse? It difficult to comment without knowing the background.

I was thinking about an adjustment like this too

Sorry for not wanting to go into details about the circumstances but there was a massive split in the family, also involved extended family, and there was a lot of hurt. We were separated for 2 years but now everyone has come back together again except DH and DD

OP posts:
ThroughThickAndThin01 · 26/07/2023 21:34

Polik · 26/07/2023 21:29

Assuming ypu don't die at the same time, surely all of your estate goes to surviving spouse? Otherwise the children could force a house sale etc, because you won't own your own home yourself.

This.

Muckysmucky · 26/07/2023 21:35

It’s impossible to say if it’s unreasonable without more context to the rift I think although I’d tend to be on your side at first impression

Original poster
Willmatters · 26/07/2023 21:37

MiddleParking · 26/07/2023 21:32

Are all of them biological children to him and you?

Yes they are all both of our children

OP posts:
PrimalOwl10 · 26/07/2023 21:38

Says a lot when a child reduces contact and goes nc with her df. He shown his true colours inregards to his will.

Muckysmucky · 26/07/2023 21:38

hmmm sorry for jumping to conclusions but sounds suspiciously like DH had an affair and DD is the only one who hasn’t forgiven him.

Tbh neither of you should will go anyone but the spouse and especially not where there are conflicts as the child/ren could force getting their 10% which causes difficulties for the remaining parent.
But I can see that knowing he would disinherit your DD after your death makes that a difficult prospect for you.

riotlady · 26/07/2023 21:38

Willmatters · 26/07/2023 21:34

I was thinking about an adjustment like this too

Sorry for not wanting to go into details about the circumstances but there was a massive split in the family, also involved extended family, and there was a lot of hurt. We were separated for 2 years but now everyone has come back together again except DH and DD

Show quote history

So it sounds like whatever the issue was, you and DD were on the same “side”, given you temporarily separated from DH? You’ve forgiven and repaired your relationship, but DD and DH haven’t been able to?

Qilin · 26/07/2023 21:43

Polik · 26/07/2023 21:29

Assuming ypu don't die at the same time, surely all of your estate goes to surviving spouse? Otherwise the children could force a house sale etc, because you won't own your own home yourself.

You can protect the house so the surviving partner can live in it until they die, before it can be sold iirr.

Original poster
Willmatters · 26/07/2023 21:44

riotlady · 26/07/2023 21:38

So it sounds like whatever the issue was, you and DD were on the same “side”, given you temporarily separated from DH? You’ve forgiven and repaired your relationship, but DD and DH haven’t been able to?

Show quote history

It was complicated but Yes this sort of situation. Thank you for understanding

OP posts:
HalloumiLuvver · 26/07/2023 21:47

hmmm sorry for jumping to conclusions but sounds suspiciously like DH had an affair and DD is the only one who hasn’t forgiven him.

Yup. Good on her I say. At least she has principles.

Isn't it more usual to leave everything to remaining spouse anyway?

Plus I think here in Scotland, children can claim 10% anyway no matter what the will says. Happy to be corrected on this.

ThePoetsWife · 26/07/2023 21:48

So he is punishing DD for standing by you when he cheated - he is showing his colours isn't he? I don't blame DD for not forgiving him as she saw how much you suffered.

Original poster
Willmatters · 26/07/2023 21:50

Qilin · 26/07/2023 21:43

You can protect the house so the surviving partner can live in it until they die, before it can be sold iirr.

Show quote history

The will adviser said this clause would be put in so neither of us need to worry about being forced out of our home

OP posts:
Bansheed · 26/07/2023 21:51

He is punishing her for his own behaviour. Basically, arrogance I the extreme. He thinks he should have got away with hurting his family and is asserting his dominance.

Manipulative and nasty.