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Original poster

Please help, I'm in serious trouble

269 replies

trouble20 · 27/08/2021 15:03

I'll try to make sense here but I'm really panicking and need help.

About six years ago dh was suddenly sacked and we had to claim benefits for about two months before he got another job. As I was working part time I received a considerable amount in tax credits (hadn't had them before).

Dh got a new job but the tax credit kept being paid and I didn't inform them for a few months as I really needed the money. I know this was wrong.

Today dh has had £700 taken from his wages as DEA. He thinks it's a mistake and it can't be right but I know that it's probably around 8000 in total as I had a letter about it a few years ago.

I cannot tell him. I know he'll find out when he speaks to DWp but I truly can't tell him.
He is quite controlling with money, I don't work so he transfers money every two weeks to pay for groceries but I don't have access to money or any of my own.

He earns good money but £700 a month will cripple us, is there any way to reduce this amount?
Sorry if I'm not making sense but I'm seriously scared.

OP posts:
Justwingingit2005 · 27/08/2021 15:08

Hi.

We have an over payment. They said we didn't notify them but we rang several times.... anyway when we got the over payment letter we rang straight away and pay £50 a month back. This ends next year.
If you ring to sort it out they are pretty accommodating.
From speaking to other friends etc it seems the whole system is prone to under and over payments.
I would ring and see what they say.

Original poster
trouble20 · 27/08/2021 15:08

It's actually £4700

OP posts:
Original poster
trouble20 · 27/08/2021 15:10

But we didn't receive any letters about the overpayment. Is it too late to reduce the amount?

OP posts:
Touloser · 27/08/2021 15:13

But surely they did tell you about the overpayment? -- "I know... as I had a letter about it a few years ago"

You should have sorted it then, but hindsight is a wonderful thing. You need to contact them, but you also need to be honest with your partner about the situation. Keeping this a secret is only going to end badly.

Unreasonabubble · 27/08/2021 15:14

He will have to ring them up. It will have to be him as it is coming out of his wages. They are VERY reasonable and will agree a monthly payment with you.

HumdrumGuga · 27/08/2021 15:15

Flowers You have no access to money whatsoever apart from the food money he transfers?

Original poster
trouble20 · 27/08/2021 15:16

@Touloser

But surely they did tell you about the overpayment? -- "I know... as I had a letter about it a few years ago"

You should have sorted it then, but hindsight is a wonderful thing. You need to contact them, but you also need to be honest with your partner about the situation. Keeping this a secret is only going to end badly.

We haven't received anything about the dea. The last contact I had was years ago and yes I buried my head in the sand.
OP posts:
GreenTortoise · 27/08/2021 15:17

But you didn't get an over payment did you? It was dishonesty that you now have to pay back of course.

I do feel for you though and it isn't right you have no access to money. Is he just controlling in general?

HighNetGirth · 27/08/2021 15:17

Read their website, ring them for advice. Then tell your DH what happened along with what you have learned are your options. Ring him at work if that is less daunting. Telling him will be hard but not telling him will be worse.

Original poster
trouble20 · 27/08/2021 15:18

@HumdrumGuga

Flowers You have no access to money whatsoever apart from the food money he transfers?
No I don't. I'm up to my ears in debt as I don't have money for myself so if I need clothes etc I have to get them from catalogues. I can ask him for money for stuff but he gets funny and says that there isn't enough but he earns £60k a year. I genuinely don't know where it goes as I don't see any accounts or anything.
OP posts:
Marni83 · 27/08/2021 15:21

Op
You committed benefit fraud
They would investigate
A compliance officer would call you
You have not received an overpayment
Something totally different

poppymaewrite · 27/08/2021 15:21

StepChange are a debt charity that can provide you with free advice.

Hekatestorch · 27/08/2021 15:21

Did neither of you call them when you got the over payment letter?

If you call them you can. Ignoring it won't make it better.

You do need to speak to your husband. Did he think the claim had been cancelled?

Marni83 · 27/08/2021 15:22

What did you do with the money?
If he’s so controlling, how didn’t he notice?

Original poster
trouble20 · 27/08/2021 15:23

@Marni83

What did you do with the money? If he’s so controlling, how didn’t he notice?
The money was paid directly to me, we don't have a joint account. I used it for living expenses and things I couldn't normally have.
OP posts:
Persipan · 27/08/2021 15:23

It sounds to me as though there's a bigger problem here than a tax credit overpayment.

You say you can't tell him about this, can you expand upon that a bit? What would happen if you did? What your describing sounds like financial abuse, to be honest, if he controls all the money, doesn't let you have any, doesn't let you see where it goes, and you're in debt to be able to get basic things like clothes...

HumdrumGuga · 27/08/2021 15:25

@Persipan

It sounds to me as though there's a bigger problem here than a tax credit overpayment.

You say you can't tell him about this, can you expand upon that a bit? What would happen if you did? What your describing sounds like financial abuse, to be honest, if he controls all the money, doesn't let you have any, doesn't let you see where it goes, and you're in debt to be able to get basic things like clothes...

I agree, this is a much bigger problem OP. Do you have kids together? Are you renting/mortgage?
LucasLodge · 27/08/2021 15:25

The pair of you need to have a good look at both of your finances. This is no way to live.

You both need to know what is coming in and how much all of the outgoings for your household are. And what is left.

The most obvious solution here is that you need to get a job and income of your own as this is just not working for you. You need financial independence.

Accidentgirlfriend · 27/08/2021 15:26

I think you have issues that are not just this overpayment !

Original poster
trouble20 · 27/08/2021 15:26

I'm scared to tell him as about ten years ago I got into trouble paying the council tax and he didn't know until a bailiff turned up. I know I should say something earlier but I don't, I don't know why. He gets really angry and I suppose I think that he'll never find out when it's obvious that he will.
I'm sorry, I know I'm not explaining this well.

OP posts:
TakeYourFinalPosition · 27/08/2021 15:28

The last contact I had was years ago and yes I buried my head in the sand

That will be why they've gone for a benefit debt deduction; or DEA. The DWP will have told your husbands' employer what to do, and they are then supposed to tell your husband how much will be deducted and when. The deductions then continue until the DWP tell the employer to stop, and the employer can be fined for not deducting the money when told to do so. How much is deducted at a time is a set scale based on how much he earns.

If everything has gone according to process, he'll have known how much was going to be deducted, from his payroll department. If he's quite controlling, is there a chance that he knows and is pushing you to admit it?

Realistically, if it's got to the DEA stage, the DWP might not have any interest in negotiating lower payments with you, but your husband would need to contact them. They'd then need to update the instruction to his employer prior to the next payday.

Are you safe, OP?

I think it's probably important to recognise that you've committed benefit fraud here and you've been quite lucky that they're only recovering the money, but in the immediacy, you need to make sure that you and your children are safe.

HumdrumGuga · 27/08/2021 15:28

Can you phone eg Stepchange as a first practical step? Or CAb?

RevolvingPivot · 27/08/2021 15:28

@HumdrumGuga

Flowers You have no access to money whatsoever apart from the food money he transfers?
Same with me apart from I get £98 PIP a month but that could go at any point.
Original poster
trouble20 · 27/08/2021 15:28

We have children (12 and 14) and rent.

I have been looking for a job recently but I'm only really qualified for retail work and dh doesn't want me to work at weekends which makes finding a job difficult.

OP posts:
Akire · 27/08/2021 15:29

The bigger problem is you didn’t have what you needed to cover basic costs and from sounds of it you still don’t. Are you happy being in relationship like this?

DWP less of problem if not making any criminal complaints long as money gets paid back eventually they be off your case. Get the amount down to lesser level then try and sort out long term family finances. You both need know what’s coming in and equal say in where it goes. Even if only one of your working that’s how partnership works.