Please help, I'm in serious trouble

[trouble20]

I'll try to make sense here but I'm really panicking and need help.

About six years ago dh was suddenly sacked and we had to claim benefits for about two months before he got another job. As I was working part time I received a considerable amount in tax credits (hadn't had them before).

Dh got a new job but the tax credit kept being paid and I didn't inform them for a few months as I really needed the money. I know this was wrong.

Today dh has had £700 taken from his wages as DEA. He thinks it's a mistake and it can't be right but I know that it's probably around 8000 in total as I had a letter about it a few years ago.

I cannot tell him. I know he'll find out when he speaks to DWp but I truly can't tell him.
He is quite controlling with money, I don't work so he transfers money every two weeks to pay for groceries but I don't have access to money or any of my own.

He earns good money but £700 a month will cripple us, is there any way to reduce this amount?
Sorry if I'm not making sense but I'm seriously scared.

OP, 63k a year works out at take home pay of just over £3700 a month. He gives you £600 a month, where is the rest going? How much is rent?

You say it's just the money, he's otherwise a good husband, but he also isn't happy with you working weekends. So he controls money and when/how/if you work. Honestly living alone claiming benefits you'd probably be less destitute than you are day to day now.

OP I feel for you massively because I was in a financially abusive relationship but I’ve re read your posts a few times and can’t quite make sense of the full situation.

So you claimed TC because he lost his job and you only worked part time? Was it a joint claim? Did he think the claim was cancelled?

Child benefit - does he know you’re claiming that?

Debt - has he always been controlling with money and there for you’ve got into debt? Having to take loans and credit etc or did he start being more controlling with allowances because of debt built up outside of normal spending?

The list of things you’re meant to buy using the £600 a month. How was that £600 a month decided on? Just a figure he plucked out the air it is that on top on money you also earn and he’s saying your salary plus this allowance is your “share” to cover using these funds and I pay the rest

If it's £8000 it must be more than a couple of months you carried on claiming. How much did they give you?

Also yes you only get child benefit under £50k I think.

I think you can set up a payment plan.

You do need to be more upfront I would say. He will probably be more cross as he looks dishonest.

However £600/month for all those outgoings isn't a lot.

I can see both

You would be better off financially without him.

Unless you decided to build up debt again

Why dont you go and see the CAB and get it all sorted?

Then think about leaving him

You're jointly liable for the debt but if you leave him and you're not earning he'll have to pay it. So leave now and free yourself from the debt as well as a nasty controlling financially abusive twat

that is nowhere near enough money I'm a single person and my outgoings DD's are £75 a week what you get should be doubled

Eight thousand is a lot of money to keep claiming, benefit fraud is viewed very seriously. You obvs spent it on more than school uniforms.

OP, you’re being financially abused. Please call Women’s Aid. They will help you.

I'm sorry but he gives you £600 per month when he takes home over £3500 per month?
You are in debt because he controls you.
You are already destitute.
You would be better off financially and emotionally without him. Sorry.

The money is is passing over to you for housekeeping is not enough for all the things you need to buy, what happens if your children or you need new shoes ? Or Winter coats? New bras etc?

@Bluntness100

Eight thousand is a lot of money to keep claiming, benefit fraud is viewed very seriously. You obvs spent it on more than school uniforms.

It's not 8000, I panicked and overreacted. It's 4000. Which is still a huge amount of money but at the time I was paying for everything apart from the rent.

But thank you for stopping by with your usual helpfulness.

So he where does he think these expenses are met?
Does he not eat the food you buy?
Does he expect your children to be unclothed?
Does he not use water to bathe and drink?

Get yourself down to the CAB. Tell them EVERYTHING INCLUDING THE FINANCIAL ABUSE. Let them negotiate with HMRC.

(I expect he already knows about the debt . I thought joint claimants both got advised of any updates by separate letters as they happened because both national insurance numbers are on any letters sent out.
He's probably standing back in the hope you'll bear the burden of the debt).

@ZoyaTheDestroyer

OP, you’re being financially abused. Please call Women’s Aid. They will help you.

But the op doesn’t even know how much he earns, for example he needs to be under 50k to get child benefit. She might be getting all they have spare. She’s clear the 700 out his pay packet will destitute them so clearly there isn’t much money there.

@trouble20

He was self employed at one point could it be related to that? Possibly tax that wasn't paid?

I think you are clutching at straws. You have deliberately committed benefit fraud,I understand that your OH is controlling with money, but you have a household income well above the national average, you are not working, you don’t have crippling nursery fees to pay, you have had problems with debt before.

I think the only way out is to be completely open and honest about what you have done first to your OH then to the benefits people. If you are honest and comply with they they might not feel the need to take you to court over this fraud.

the op doesn’t even know how much he earns, for example he needs to be under 50k to get child benefit.

HMRC don’t check your salary before paying out child benefit. It’s a universal benefit if you register for it and it’s the individual’s responsibility either to decline payments or return it via self-assessment if you earn over the threshold.

People need to stop banging on about fraud, it is not contributing anything helpful here. As a PP said, if HMRC suspected fraud they would have asked both claimants to attend a recorded interview under caution back at the time they identified the overpayment, and then made a decision on whether or not to prosecute. This hasn't happened here. They are recovering an overpayment, which as far as they are concerned is due to claimant error (not that it would make any difference if it was official error).

Haven't read TFT but another one here saying it sounds like Child Benefit - has he earned over £50k since 2013? Repayments are calculated on a sliding scale between £50k and £60k and once you reach £60k the full years' benefit has to be repaid. They will claim it back via your DH.

The far bigger issue here is how you are afraid of your husband and in a financially abusive relationship.

If your relationship was functional you wouldn't be in this situation.

I get £300 a fortnight. Out of that I pay for
Food
Cleaning stuff etc
Clothes for the children
My phone
Fuel, I don't use a lot though
Dog groomers
Contents insurance
Water
Tv license
Netflix
Toiletries for me and the children
School trips
Some birthday and Christmas presents
I'm sure there's something else I'm forgetting

That's not very much for a family on an income of over £60k. What does he do with the rest of the money? Most of those things should be paid for out of his salary, and you share the rest so you both have some personal money. Do you get the CB too? What about your NI credits for your pension if you've not been working, now your youngest DC is 12? You need to be able to work so you have more of your own money, and he needs to suck it up.

If you left him, you could work when you wanted, would probably be entitled to some universal credit, and some maintenance from him, although that probably couldn't be relied on. If some of your work fell in the evenings and weekends, your DC would be OK on their own for a bit, or they could go to their dad's.

It's not benefit fraud, it's technically an overpayment which can be settled as a civil case.

You continued to claim the tax credits as you were being financially abused.

I don't quite see the link between the letter "a few years ago" and this deduction.

HMRC are quite accommodating and usually let you agree to pay back an affordable amount per month.
But I can't get past He is quite controlling with money, I don't work so he transfers money every two weeks to pay for groceries but I don't have access to money or any of my own.

Monday is right: if your relationship was functional you wouldn't be in this situation.

@trouble20 you have not committed benefit fraud. As long as you didn’t lie in the renewal it is a simple overpayment.
It’s also not dwp it’s hmrc to other posters.

The child benefit payments don’t prove that he earns under £50k @Bluntness100. You can receive CB at any salary and it’s up to you to make the necessary repayments if you earn over £50k.

You aren't entitled to CB over 50k so it will be that
Also you must have been renewing tax credits every year fraudulently then ?
I have sympathy for you though as your husband sees his money as his whereas it's family money. You shouldn't even be overly worried about paying back as his wage should be more than enough to live on no matter the debt you will have to pay back. I'm sorry your in this mess but he needs to give you access to all family money now or you need to separate. I know that's easier said than done