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Original poster

Please help, I'm in serious trouble

269 replies

trouble20 · 27/08/2021 15:03

I'll try to make sense here but I'm really panicking and need help.

About six years ago dh was suddenly sacked and we had to claim benefits for about two months before he got another job. As I was working part time I received a considerable amount in tax credits (hadn't had them before).

Dh got a new job but the tax credit kept being paid and I didn't inform them for a few months as I really needed the money. I know this was wrong.

Today dh has had £700 taken from his wages as DEA. He thinks it's a mistake and it can't be right but I know that it's probably around 8000 in total as I had a letter about it a few years ago.

I cannot tell him. I know he'll find out when he speaks to DWp but I truly can't tell him.
He is quite controlling with money, I don't work so he transfers money every two weeks to pay for groceries but I don't have access to money or any of my own.

He earns good money but £700 a month will cripple us, is there any way to reduce this amount?
Sorry if I'm not making sense but I'm seriously scared.

OP posts:
knittingaddict · 27/08/2021 15:29

I don't 100% understand how tax credits work, but why have they taken money from his account if the money was going to yours?

HumdrumGuga · 27/08/2021 15:30

Can you also speak to womens aid?

Original poster
trouble20 · 27/08/2021 15:30

@TakeYourFinalPosition

The last contact I had was years ago and yes I buried my head in the sand

That will be why they've gone for a benefit debt deduction; or DEA. The DWP will have told your husbands' employer what to do, and they are then supposed to tell your husband how much will be deducted and when. The deductions then continue until the DWP tell the employer to stop, and the employer can be fined for not deducting the money when told to do so. How much is deducted at a time is a set scale based on how much he earns.

If everything has gone according to process, he'll have known how much was going to be deducted, from his payroll department. If he's quite controlling, is there a chance that he knows and is pushing you to admit it?

Realistically, if it's got to the DEA stage, the DWP might not have any interest in negotiating lower payments with you, but your husband would need to contact them. They'd then need to update the instruction to his employer prior to the next payday.

Are you safe, OP?

I think it's probably important to recognise that you've committed benefit fraud here and you've been quite lucky that they're only recovering the money, but in the immediacy, you need to make sure that you and your children are safe.

He didn't know until today when his pay was down. He's seen the letter that his employer received but the copy that was supposed to be sent here didn't arrive.
OP posts:
knittingaddict · 27/08/2021 15:31

By the way, you're in a financially abusive relationship and I would give Women's Aid a call asap and talk to them about your partner withholding money from you.

Kazplus2 · 27/08/2021 15:32

Well if he doesn't want you to work at weekends then he needs to give you more money!!!
I assume his salary prevents you claiming child benefit?

Original poster
trouble20 · 27/08/2021 15:32

@knittingaddict

By the way, you're in a financially abusive relationship and I would give Women's Aid a call asap and talk to them about your partner withholding money from you.
Deep down I know that but I can't possibly do anything. I'd be destitute without him and apart from the money stuff he really isn't a bad husband. I know that sounds pathetic.
OP posts:
GreyhoundG1rl · 27/08/2021 15:33

The money was paid directly to me, we don't have a joint account. I used it for living expenses and things I couldn't normally have.
And they're now recovering it from your DH's account? That doesn't sound right?

CyclingIsNotOuting · 27/08/2021 15:33

Can you pretend to him that you don’t know what it is? He will investigate I guess and find out eventually but then just claim you didn’t know/realise?
Will they come after you individually?

AnnieBanannie1 · 27/08/2021 15:34

How has it come out of his account if it was paid to you?

LucasLodge · 27/08/2021 15:37

He doesn’t want you to work weekends? So bloody what!

And you wouldn’t be destitute without him. You would be just fine.

SukonthaM · 27/08/2021 15:38

@AnnieBanannie1

How has it come out of his account if it was paid to you?
This. If it was you who committed fraud and received the payments without him knowing, then they should be coming after you. When he realises what you did is he likely to pay off your debt, or tell them it was you?
peachgreen · 27/08/2021 15:38

I'd be destitute without him

You wouldn't, OP. I totally understand why it feels that way, especially as he's clearly destroyed your confidence. But firstly, you would be able to work. Secondly, he would have to pay child maintenance. And thirdly, given you gave up work to look after your children, he would more than likely be ordered to pay spousal maintenance. You would get more money from him if you divorced him than you currently do.

Original poster
trouble20 · 27/08/2021 15:38

@CyclingIsNotOuting

Can you pretend to him that you don’t know what it is? He will investigate I guess and find out eventually but then just claim you didn’t know/realise? Will they come after you individually?
That's basically what I'm doing
OP posts:
SukonthaM · 27/08/2021 15:40

@LucasLodge

He doesn’t want you to work weekends? So bloody what!

And you wouldn’t be destitute without him. You would be just fine.

Not necessarily now that she’s committed benefit fraud. Does anyone know if you can make a new claim if you’ve previously claimed fraudulently?
Marni83 · 27/08/2021 15:41

Didn’t he notice then that you had extra money?

Marni83 · 27/08/2021 15:41

If paid in to your account
I am perplexed why taken out of your husbands

Plus
This is taken off by the employer
His employer would have spoken about him before it was taken off

Marni83 · 27/08/2021 15:42

What has HE said about the deduction

Marni83 · 27/08/2021 15:43

What ever this deduction is
Will be something HE did
Not you

And he will know

Op - you’re in the clear

He isn’t

Original poster
trouble20 · 27/08/2021 15:43

@Marni83

Didn’t he notice then that you had extra money?
He knew that there were payments when he was out of work. I wasn't spending it on sports cars and trips to Dubai, there wasn't anything to notice. It went on things like school uniforms.

I can only assume that they've taken it from him as I don't work.

OP posts:
Original poster
trouble20 · 27/08/2021 15:44

@Marni83

What ever this deduction is Will be something HE did Not you

And he will know

Op - you’re in the clear

He isn’t

I really think it is the tax credits, there isn't anything else it could be.
OP posts:
Original poster
trouble20 · 27/08/2021 15:45

@Marni83

What has HE said about the deduction
He's angry about it and confused. Nobody told him this was going to happen.
OP posts:
AwFeebs · 27/08/2021 15:45

I thought if it were a joint claim they can go after either claimant.

Original poster
trouble20 · 27/08/2021 15:47

He was self employed at one point could it be related to that? Possibly tax that wasn't paid?

OP posts:
Seesawmummadaw · 27/08/2021 15:47

I was in a relationship which sounds very much like yours. Honestly getting out was the best thing I did. Over time I realised that it wasn’t just money that he controlled.

Are you safe?

I didn’t have the same situation (fraud) but did have over payment to repay. Citizens advice bureau helped advise about the tax credits and becoming a single parent.

Original poster
trouble20 · 27/08/2021 15:49

@Seesawmummadaw

I was in a relationship which sounds very much like yours. Honestly getting out was the best thing I did. Over time I realised that it wasn’t just money that he controlled.

Are you safe?

I didn’t have the same situation (fraud) but did have over payment to repay. Citizens advice bureau helped advise about the tax credits and becoming a single parent.

Physically I and the children are safe.
OP posts: