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Original poster

What the heck can I do?

285 replies

LordoftheDance · 30/09/2020 20:30

I'm struggling with our finances. Just to say, this isn't a begging thread. I'm simply hoping for some solidarity from others who have or are in a similar position and for some advice and tips of things I might not have thought of. Although, I'm pretty sure I've exhausted all options at this point.

Our finances aren't sustainable longterm. Our bills come to £1550 per month; so left from DHs wages we have £380. We spend £120 on fuel & £260 on food. That's it. Money gone. There's two adults, a toddler still in nappies, four teen DSC EOW and two cats.

There's nothing I can do about any of our bills. I've cancelled Netflix and Amazon Prime this morning. Besides those, we don't have any kind of TV package. Just basic wifi and landline. I spent several hours on the phone to companies including broadband and mobiles this morning to try and negotiate on cost. No such luck. I was advised by both that I'm already on the lowest possible packages including discounts, etc.

I'm a cleaner but it's minimum wage for 7 hours a week. My wages go entirely on nursery fees for DS. A logical answer would be to take him out of nursery and use my small wage to contribute towards the living costs. However, I had a breakdown a few months ago and have diagnosed GAD & healthy anxiety. I'm on medication now and awaiting CBT but I'd struggle to cope if DS didn't have his nursery to go to. He also loves it.

I hate my job. It's an inconvenient time of day and I always feel worthless and looked down upon. I've been applying for other jobs, any and all that I can with no luck.

I don't know what else I can do. I've been selling things on FB to try and make some money for christmas presents and extra food shopping but I'm fast running out of things to sell.

We have no money for emergencies, clothes, haircuts, car repairs, home repairs, dentist appointments, etc. Our boilers been playing up intermittently for a year but I can't afford to get anyone out to have a look. I do have some kind of repair and service thing but it's still a £90 charge. I need a new pair of glasses but I can't afford that at the moment either. They've been falling off at work and now the lenses are badly scratched.

Long term the solution is obviously for me to find a new better paying job with longer hours but I can't magic one up from nowhere. We don't qualify for any benefits.

Any advice or just someone to moan to would be great! I even had a nightmare last night, I'm worrying so much. The economy crashed and we were forced out of our home and into temporary accommodation where we had neighbours from hell who harassed us. 😂

PS: Please don't tell me to get rid of my cats.

OP posts:
Original poster
LordoftheDance · 30/09/2020 20:34

I did put paragraphs in. The mobile site seems to remove them Hmm

OP posts:
Plussizejumpsuit · 30/09/2020 20:36

Could you provide a breakdown of the 1550 costs? Do you rent or pay a mortgage? Are there any chances of a promotion of overtime for your dh, (I know times are hard and this is perhaps unrealistic) what is your income overall? Have you checked your benefit eneitlment?

nimbuscloud · 30/09/2020 20:36

Can your dh find extra work?

emotionalbutterfly · 30/09/2020 20:37

Have you tried doing comparisons for energy? You'd be surprised what you can save.

Have you got sky? Or expensive broadband?

BronwenFrideswide · 30/09/2020 20:37

Can you give a more detailed breakdown?

Do you own your home or are you renting?

notapizzaeater · 30/09/2020 20:37

Are you claiming Universal Credit ?

Tigger03 · 30/09/2020 20:39

As above what’s the breakdown of the fixed bills? Could you take a mortgage holiday in the short term?

Long term could you do evening classes to improve earning or do an apprenticeship? Would be difficult but worth it in the long run.

Feminist10101 · 30/09/2020 20:40

Can’t you go self employed as a cleaner and work when your husband is home?

Whiteclaw · 30/09/2020 20:45

Have you checked if there are any top-up benefits you might be eligible for?

Also, please be proud that you are working. Cleaning is an important and valuable job, you are contributing and doing what is best for your child, in spite of the health difficulties you have had. Keep looking for something else if that will help, but be proud of what you already do.

OhioOhioOhio · 30/09/2020 20:46

That sounds really tough. The self employed cleaning idea is good.

MrsMoastyToasty · 30/09/2020 20:53

Have you looked at an online benefits calculator?

Original poster
LordoftheDance · 30/09/2020 20:58

We have a mortgage due to an inheritance a few years ago that gave us enough for a deposit.

I don't think DH could find more work. When he gets home from work, he looks after DS whilst I then go out to my cleaning job in the evening. Then I get home, we eat dinner, watch TV for half an hour and then go to bed. DH is out of the house Monday to Friday 7:30am until 6pm. I work from 6:30pm and get home around 8:15pm. I work Monday to Saturday.

He won't get a promotion, no over time, etc. His company have already slightly reduced hours and made some people redundant due to covid.

Breakdown of our bills:

£760 Mortgage
£400 Child Maintenance
£150 Council Tax
£51.43 Gas and Electric [this has recently reduced]
£28 Water
£43.40 Water
£42.34 Car Ins
£26.68 Car Tax
£22.85 Car Ins
£13.20 TV licence
£34.92 Phones (phoned up about these today, nothing we can do about the cost here)
£27.99 Broadband and Landline
£15.80 Buildings Ins
£31.18 Life Ins

The car insurances and car tax both seem pricey but are sadly required so we can both get to work.

We arent entitled to any benefits. I've already checked this via the online calculators several times.

Thanks for all the comments so far. I appreciate it.

OP posts:
Original poster
LordoftheDance · 30/09/2020 21:01

Oh, and we had a mortgage holiday for three months when DH was furloughed in March. Then when I had a breakdown we had to request an additional month as DH had to stay home for several weeks to look after DS whilst I was unwell and unable to do so.

OP posts:
Feminist10101 · 30/09/2020 21:01

If your husband gets home before you go to work, why do you need 2 cars?

ShellsAndSunrises · 30/09/2020 21:03

Is there any way you can get more hours?

How much is nursery? Could you really reduce your sons hours for a bit? Or take him out, and have another way of getting a break - although make sure that’s all agreed and considered essential.

It’s really tough, but I can’t really see what you can easily change. It’s either earn more money or spend less, which at this point, is either more hours for you, more hours for DH, or potentially taking your son out of nursery and stopping paying one lot of car insurance... would that leave you with more, if you weren’t working?

Times are hard Flowers

AuldFox · 30/09/2020 21:04

Can you use this deal:

www.moneysavingexpert.com/deals/glasses-direct/

for 2 pairs of glasses for £15? I know you said you don’t have the money, is there any way you could sell something? It must be miserable not being able to see properly. Flowers

FlowFlow7722 · 30/09/2020 21:05

Water and car ins on your list twice?

Original poster
LordoftheDance · 30/09/2020 21:05

One of the employees in the office building I clean at complained to the cleaning company I work for because I wasn't wearing a bra. I was furious and mortified. I have sensory issues and can't wear bras and don't think I should have to either. He claimed it was inappropriate! My cleaning company were sympathetic and requested I wear one but acknowledged that I didn't have too and it was an unreasonable request. The employees in the office building look down on me and my colleague and just make me feel generally shit and worthless all the time.

OP posts:
RaspberryHartleys · 30/09/2020 21:05

Do you pay two lots of water bills? Do you need two cars? Could you shop around for your insurances? (House/life etc)

MrsKappa · 30/09/2020 21:07

Have you looked at the £10 a day threads? I don't know how to link to another thread but the current one is 'September £10 a day' - an October one will start tonight or tomorrow and it gives a list of ways of earning little extra bits here and there mainly online. Last year I managed to achieve £10 a day but not this year as my day job has been much busier, I haven't had the time. You do have to register and pay tax but it was all work I could do at home, just an hour or so a day when I had time. I know it's hard, good luck Flowers

Feminist10101 · 30/09/2020 21:09

Why 2 water charges?

Original poster
LordoftheDance · 30/09/2020 21:10

One is our water supply and the other is waste water. Supplied by two different companies.

I have an automatic small car due to my anxiety around driving. It's been life changing and helped me get back on the road. It's given me independence and is how I take DS to nursery and go food shopping whilst DH is at work. DH has an eight seater manual car which he needs for when we have DSC which I can't drive.

OP posts:
OnlyFoolsnMothers · 30/09/2020 21:11

How olds your toddler?- trying to think when will you qualify for some help towards childcare ?

MrsMoastyToasty · 30/09/2020 21:12

Is one of the water company bills for sewerage and the other for water supply? Is it water rates or metered? It may be cheaper on a meter than rates.
Do you pay council tax over 10 months? Some councils allow you to pay over 12 months provided you're not in arrears. You still pay the same amount but its spread a bit thinner.
Do you need a landline if you both have mobiles?

lasangoles · 30/09/2020 21:12

Is there no way you can up your hours at all?

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