What the heck can I do?

[LordoftheDance]

I'm struggling with our finances. Just to say, this isn't a begging thread. I'm simply hoping for some solidarity from others who have or are in a similar position and for some advice and tips of things I might not have thought of. Although, I'm pretty sure I've exhausted all options at this point.

Our finances aren't sustainable longterm. Our bills come to £1550 per month; so left from DHs wages we have £380. We spend £120 on fuel & £260 on food. That's it. Money gone. There's two adults, a toddler still in nappies, four teen DSC EOW and two cats.

There's nothing I can do about any of our bills. I've cancelled Netflix and Amazon Prime this morning. Besides those, we don't have any kind of TV package. Just basic wifi and landline. I spent several hours on the phone to companies including broadband and mobiles this morning to try and negotiate on cost. No such luck. I was advised by both that I'm already on the lowest possible packages including discounts, etc.

I'm a cleaner but it's minimum wage for 7 hours a week. My wages go entirely on nursery fees for DS. A logical answer would be to take him out of nursery and use my small wage to contribute towards the living costs. However, I had a breakdown a few months ago and have diagnosed GAD & healthy anxiety. I'm on medication now and awaiting CBT but I'd struggle to cope if DS didn't have his nursery to go to. He also loves it.

I hate my job. It's an inconvenient time of day and I always feel worthless and looked down upon. I've been applying for other jobs, any and all that I can with no luck.

I don't know what else I can do. I've been selling things on FB to try and make some money for christmas presents and extra food shopping but I'm fast running out of things to sell.

We have no money for emergencies, clothes, haircuts, car repairs, home repairs, dentist appointments, etc. Our boilers been playing up intermittently for a year but I can't afford to get anyone out to have a look. I do have some kind of repair and service thing but it's still a £90 charge. I need a new pair of glasses but I can't afford that at the moment either. They've been falling off at work and now the lenses are badly scratched.

Long term the solution is obviously for me to find a new better paying job with longer hours but I can't magic one up from nowhere. We don't qualify for any benefits.

Any advice or just someone to moan to would be great! I even had a nightmare last night, I'm worrying so much. The economy crashed and we were forced out of our home and into temporary accommodation where we had neighbours from hell who harassed us. 😂

PS: Please don't tell me to get rid of my cats.

@AuldFox Thanks for the link! I'll have a look. I do have a couple more small items to sell so hopefully that will enable me to get some new glasses.

How many hours is your son in nursery? Can you get extra hours for when he is in?

I think this all depends on how much you want to change things. Your job could be done anywhere, could you look to relocate to somewhere cheaper so reduce/ get rid of mortgage? It may mean travelling further to collect step Children but could be done and now is a good time to sell houses. You sound like you only work in the evenings but your DC is in nursery, could you consider a job (not necessarily cleaning) in the day time? Could you think about becoming a childminder, so take your DC out of nursery and have another child at your house? It presumably won’t be long until they are at school- then you’ll have more time to think about working, so what about retraining now to be able to do a job you like and pays more once they start school. Unfortunately if you think your health will mean that you can’t do any of this and your DH’s wage is not going to increase then relocation might be the only option as you need to get rid of the mortgage to increase your income for other things. On your expenses it also looks like you have 2 lots of water and car insurance.

Is there anything you could do during the day to earn a bit extra e.g. delivering leaflets with toddler in pushchair?

How old is DS? Could you be eligible for the Think 2 funding? Occasionally it is also possible to be referred for this through your HV if it is beneficial to your health even if you don't meet the income requirements.
Do you use tax free childcare for your nursery fees? It only saves 20% but all money saved is good.

Toddler won't qualify for any free hours until September next year.

He actually goes four mornings a week but my wages only pay two mornings a week and a family member pays for the other two mornings per week. They realised how much I was struggling after my breakdown and offered to help out until after Christmas.

Sadly not chance of upping my hours with my current employer. My only option for more hours is a second job or a new job altogether. I am applying but there aren't many jobs about in my area that I'm qualified for and all that I've applied to so far have been unsuccessful.

Could you also consider getting rid of the 8 seater car if you only have your step-children every other weekend and just use the automatic car? You could become a member of a car club and use the car club car plus your smaller car or public transport when your step children are staying.

It sounds very tough for you. I think you said step children are teenage so will the maintenance payments not be for too much longer? Obviously your husband should support his children but as they reach adulthood (18) and he doesn’t pay that much each month hopefully that’s some light at the end of the tunnel longer term.

It seems to me like the only way to make meaningful changes is for you to earn more. I know you have anxiety and other issues but surely your money problems lifting a bit can only help your mental state? Have you approached your local supermarkets for evening/weekend shifts?

There are hundreds of ideas online for making extra money if you look, some of which can be done with a child in tow e.g. mystery shopping. Those things won’t bring in money comparable with a part time job but even things like survey sites you click through each evening can help with a slush fund for Christmas etc. But I think you really need to focus on finding a way to work more. Can you do self employed cleaning and work more hours?

Good for you seeking advice and not just racking up debt. You clearly want the best for your family and I wish you luck.

How much would you save if didn't have the cats? Sorry I realise they are family pets but you can't afford them and definitely can't afford vet bills

Do you use the government tax free childcare?

To be honest I think you’ll have to work more hours if you can. 7 hours a week isn’t going to cut it in your circumstances. Is there no way for you to increase your hours?

Could you take on a self-employed house cleaning job while your son is in nursery? Depending on your area, you’d get £10-15/hour. Even one house a week for 3-4 hours would add up over the month. Put an ad on your local Facebook group, or a card up in obvious local places.

I feel like such a failure and that I've let my family down and we're in this position because of my failings.

I've been applying for all jobs under the sun including full time jobs, 35+ hours a week but no one seems to want to employ me!

I desperately want to change things. It's all i think about all day every day. I've sold some of my most treasured possessions in the last few weeks so we can try and scrape together some money for christmas. I'm spending hours a week meal planning, etc. Because the food budget is so small.

DH would never move. He won't entertain the idea because of the DSC and his elderly parent.

I'd never done cleaning prior to this March. This is a relatively new sector to me. Prior to this I was sort of admin/customer facing reception type jobs. I've applied for quite a few jobs like these but as above, no luck.

Can you start a business from home or do some home based work? I have an eBay business and started it off with no money and just sold a few bits of clothing from my wardrobe to get started. I buy stock mostly from boot sales. You could easily make yourself a few hundred pounds a month doing this. Feel free to PM me if you want any advice.

I don't use tax free childcare. I don't qualify for this because I don't earn enough.

Things sound really tough for you. The place you're cleaning at doesn't sound great either.

Don't do yourself down for cleaning either. It's a seriously essential job that deserves a hell of a lot more respect than you get.

Firstly I would somehow find another cleaning job. Work all weekend - you could crack in 16 hours cleaning and double your money. Or work less evenings but longer. Or dh finds a weekend job. Working 7 days for a few months is doable. That's short term.

Long term things look brighter. The sc will grow and move on freeing up a lot a month. Your child will get free hours and you can work more.

Then have a plan. What can you do that fits in with your health and family that will earn more? What do you want to do.

Good luck x

Home cleaning with ironing to up your charge? If your sons in nursery 4 mornings a wk you should v try and maximise that time or take him out a morning or 2.
Whose you energy supplier?

I don't really have any advice other than I agree that the self employed thing is a good idea as then you can be more flexible with hours.

We are in a very similar situation to you and are bills are almost identical. I can't make them any lower. Luckily we do have some savings but it's dwindling away and was meant to be for house renovation costs. We are basically hanging on until youngest starts school and that's still two years away. The system is so broken. We are typical of the low income families, but not officially low enough by government standards. The cost of living plus childcare so that we can both work is absolutely crippling.

My local Facebook pages always have people looking for cleaners, is that something you could do for a few hours while your dc is at nursery?

If you have 4 teens EOW you must have space in the house for them? Could you rent out the bedrooms for the time they're not there? Are there local industries who have Mon-Fri workers who could use low cost lodgings?

Im so sorry you are struggling. I don't have much to add except there are some very good suggestions on this thread and I hope things get easier soon.

Who's your gas and electric with!? That's so cheap!!

Rent out a car parking space during office hours?
Sorry, nothing else to offer that hasn’t been said already. Hope things change for the better for you and quickly.

Sorry its so crap OP. Have you thought of applying for care assistant roles....there are billions of vacancies. Obviously do not know where you live but they seem to be everywhere.

Go self employed as a cleaner, charge £15/hour, put your DC in nursery for longer, you’ll earn more than the cost of nursery, quit the evening cleaning job, (it’s hardly worth going out for an hour in the evening) and take in ironing. People roll their eyes when that is suggested on these threads but it’s exactly what I did (I was already a SE cleaner) and it’s a very good earner for something you can do at home in the evenings while your child sleeps. One of my clients is a B&B owner and bedsheets are my best earner.