What the heck can I do?

[LordoftheDance]

I'm struggling with our finances. Just to say, this isn't a begging thread. I'm simply hoping for some solidarity from others who have or are in a similar position and for some advice and tips of things I might not have thought of. Although, I'm pretty sure I've exhausted all options at this point.

Our finances aren't sustainable longterm. Our bills come to £1550 per month; so left from DHs wages we have £380. We spend £120 on fuel & £260 on food. That's it. Money gone. There's two adults, a toddler still in nappies, four teen DSC EOW and two cats.

There's nothing I can do about any of our bills. I've cancelled Netflix and Amazon Prime this morning. Besides those, we don't have any kind of TV package. Just basic wifi and landline. I spent several hours on the phone to companies including broadband and mobiles this morning to try and negotiate on cost. No such luck. I was advised by both that I'm already on the lowest possible packages including discounts, etc.

I'm a cleaner but it's minimum wage for 7 hours a week. My wages go entirely on nursery fees for DS. A logical answer would be to take him out of nursery and use my small wage to contribute towards the living costs. However, I had a breakdown a few months ago and have diagnosed GAD & healthy anxiety. I'm on medication now and awaiting CBT but I'd struggle to cope if DS didn't have his nursery to go to. He also loves it.

I hate my job. It's an inconvenient time of day and I always feel worthless and looked down upon. I've been applying for other jobs, any and all that I can with no luck.

I don't know what else I can do. I've been selling things on FB to try and make some money for christmas presents and extra food shopping but I'm fast running out of things to sell.

We have no money for emergencies, clothes, haircuts, car repairs, home repairs, dentist appointments, etc. Our boilers been playing up intermittently for a year but I can't afford to get anyone out to have a look. I do have some kind of repair and service thing but it's still a £90 charge. I need a new pair of glasses but I can't afford that at the moment either. They've been falling off at work and now the lenses are badly scratched.

Long term the solution is obviously for me to find a new better paying job with longer hours but I can't magic one up from nowhere. We don't qualify for any benefits.

Any advice or just someone to moan to would be great! I even had a nightmare last night, I'm worrying so much. The economy crashed and we were forced out of our home and into temporary accommodation where we had neighbours from hell who harassed us. 😂

PS: Please don't tell me to get rid of my cats.

Distressful? Clearly couldn't decide between stressful and distressing and made my own word up there! Sorry

Paying for car insurance monthly works out really expensive. If you can’t afford to pay annually you’re better to put it on a 0% purchase credit card and set up a monthly direct debit to clear it.

Working more is the answer. Have you got any warehouse distribution near you? There’s always work there especially if you can do nights

[quote Chica1990]Sorry I didn’t see there were so many pages in this thread and it’s moved on a lot to your relationship state.

However if you are still desperate for money have you ever considered adult phone lines? www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/1602430-To-take-a-job-on-a-phone-sex-line[/quote]
Jesus Christ, you're really suggesting that ffs.

@LordoftheDance if your child is 2, you may be able to receive 2 year nursery funding on the basis of need (rather than income) which would free up some money each week for you. I believe you need a referral from your GP or HV.

Another way to look at things is to say "I know things are going to be hard for the next couple of years but in time DC will be in school and I'll have more time and energy. In the meantime we just hunker down and push on through ".
Regarding PIP. Its better to try and claim it. It's not means tested and often opens the doors to other benefits and removes the cap on what you can claim on UC.
To the PP upthread who mentioned shopping around for water/sewerage suppliers. Its not possible because the water industry hasn't been deregulated like gas and electricity. So there is only one supplier (possibly 2 if one supplies clean and another takes waste water). What you can do is see if your water company offers different tariffs and rebates. Some have a hardship fund. Its also worth comparing the savings of going onto a meter v. water and sewerage rates.

How are things now, @LordoftheDance? Have you got any plans in place for going forward?

Well, no not really. I'm still trying to process all the great advice I've been given here. In all honesty, I was hoping I'd have heard back from the job I applied for. I was feeling quite confident about that particular one but nevermind. Another one that wasn't meant to be. I suppose I'm feeling quite down today and a little lost because I feel like I'm running out of options and things I can do. I need to have another read back through this thread for a bit of motivation and check through all the ideas again. And stupidly I gave myself a hideous bald patch over the weekend when I attempt another at home hair cut. 😂 Went to work in a beanie hat today and got some rather odd looks and a lot of "cold are you?" comments. Still, it'll grow back eventually.

Have decided that December (or November?) will be DS' last month at nursery until he qualifies for free hours next September. It's a shame as he enjoys it and the break is beneficial for me but ultimately it'll free up £260 a month and that'll make things so much easier and take the pressure and stress off a bit. I'll have to arrange to meet up a bit more often with a few friends who have DC of a similar age so DD still gets some interaction and I'll see if a family member can help me out with a break at least for a few hours once a week or something.

That's a big decision, OP. But I can see why you've chosen to do that as it does free up quite a decent chunk of money each month. You could then perhaps do cleaning in the evenings for private clients or even in the day and take your DS with you if the customer doesn't mind.

How are you doing, @LordoftheDance? xx

@EvaporatedHour Hi, thanks for asking. Not so great. A few ups and downs. JSA has confirmed I'll receive £6.55 a week but it's better than nothing. From November one of my water Bills will reduce from £28 to £17. So some small progress. Still no luck on the job hunting front. And a previous health issue of mine has just returned with two bad episodes the past two days. Waiting to speak to my GP about it. And I'm tired and my cleaning work is wearing me down. But other than that, nothing new to report. Nothing life changing anyway x

@LordoftheDance Oh no, I'm sorry to hear it's been a difficult few days. Put the job hunt on the back burner for a couple of weeks and make sure you take care of you!

Hi OP, I read your thread in the hope of inspiration. Since losing my PIP last month I am struggling despite working full time. I read all the money earning threads and have found Prolific and Neevo the easiest and most reliable. I do them in the evenings and at weekends. You won't make a fortune but it may help without being too stressful for you.

OP, are you sure you aren't entitled to universal credit?

If your household income for 2 adults and 1 child is £1500pm, then the following applies
£594 rate for 2 adults
£235 child element for 1 child
£240 a month childcare costs

So your total award would be £1069.

HOWEVER, it is reduced because you work. Because you own your own house, £512 of your husbands wage would be disregarded, so your earnings would be viewed as £988pm, then they take 63p for every £1 off your award, so £988x0.63 is £622.

So £622 is removed from your award of £1069. Which means if the figures above are correct, you'd be entitled to £447 a month in universal credit.

@selflove we aren't entitled. Our household income is more than 1500pm.

Sorry - I misread at the start. I can see you said now bills were £1550 and you have £380 left over - so DH's earnings are approx £1930?

Even with earnings of £1930, you should still have a UC award of £176 a month.

Are you eligible for marriage allowance? It's not a huge amount but while you're not earning much it may help a little and all the little bits can add up.

My friends and I are always looking for good cleaners and would happily pay £40 for 3 hours work one morning a week. I'm sure there are many people working full time in my position. Can you not advertise this for when your son in nursery?

I think home cleaning requirements have reduced with the increase in home working.

My last cleaner left June last year, I was too busy to try to get a new one, then had a gap between jobs, started new in Dec, was just about to start looking for someone when we all got sent to work from home.
I can't imagine having someone cleaning while I'm here working. Plus I have more time to keep on top of it myself.

Then there is the general job insecurity.

I think going out nearly every night for less than two hours isn't really the best thing. Could you get an evening job or weekend job in a supermarket for longer shifts and that would cut down on the travelling. . Why is your child maintenance so high. Running two cars in order that you can work seven hours a week isn't practical IMHO.

It probably won't equal the savings but your DP should be able to get tax free childcare, so the government would pay 20% of your childcare costs

There's loads of good advice on here OP - I really think one of the best is to advertise as a private cleaner- we pay ours £20 an hour- even one hour a week would ease your burden a little- and if you're good, you will build up customers fairly quickly. Facebook is good- or if you have a shop nearby put a card in the window as lots of older people look there first.

I think your DP has been unfairly bashed on here. You qualified for your mortgage when you were both earning and presumably life was reasonably comfortable. You choose to give up your admin job because of issues, but before you had anything to replace it with and when living in an area that you admit is quite poor and jobs are hard to come by. Your DH has his kids which he quite rightly supports and £60 for his hobby and probably feels he is entitled to that treat given that he works full time and in all honesty, the drop in household income is because you gave up your job.

I don’t know your colleagues or where you work but to then take another job on where you again have issues (when only there an hour a day) and to feel that you’re hating it, be very careful not to also give this up before you find an alternative.

Your DP sounds very supportive with the housework and kids, so I think it’s unfair for people to insinuate that he’s not doing his bit or this is all his fault for taking £60 a month for himself. Your DP may not have taken on this property or had another child if he had known that you’d be down to one wage soon after. Although it was necessary for you to have some time to yourself, you could also understand him saying you earn £0 when this goes to pay for childcare that you don’t need.

It’s a very messy situation but he sounds decent to me and you have a child together so try not to pull against each other over this.

I'm so sorry you've had so much to deal with this year. It sounds horiffic, and your DH doesn't sound very helpful or sympathetic.

Somebody upthread suggested the earn £10 a day threads, and somebody else suggested matched betting. I second both of those suggestions, and am happy if you want to PM me with any questions. I started matched betting with £25, it's risk free money if you follow the instructions properly, and by doing it very part time I earned £3000 tax free in my first year. If it's too daunting for you, the £10 a day threads are about doing paid surveys, mystery shopping etc, and are much more like doing a little bit of work very flexibly, mostly from home.

Just an update for anyone interested.

I've been signed off sick for a month. I'd only been back at work three weeks after being signed off for a month and a half in August and September. Now, I'm signed off again since my second mental health issue has returned. So, I'm now dealing with two together. I've cancelled my claim for jobseekers (only got £3.75 before I cancelled!) as I don't really feel fit to work in my current state and instead I've put in a claim for ESA.

I've also applied for the 2 years old nursery funding but don't think I'll get it. If I don't, November will have to be DS last month of nursery.

I also received a small refund from my water company as we had overpaid so I've ordered some glasses that I should have by Friday next week.