What the heck can I do?

[LordoftheDance]

I'm struggling with our finances. Just to say, this isn't a begging thread. I'm simply hoping for some solidarity from others who have or are in a similar position and for some advice and tips of things I might not have thought of. Although, I'm pretty sure I've exhausted all options at this point.

Our finances aren't sustainable longterm. Our bills come to £1550 per month; so left from DHs wages we have £380. We spend £120 on fuel & £260 on food. That's it. Money gone. There's two adults, a toddler still in nappies, four teen DSC EOW and two cats.

There's nothing I can do about any of our bills. I've cancelled Netflix and Amazon Prime this morning. Besides those, we don't have any kind of TV package. Just basic wifi and landline. I spent several hours on the phone to companies including broadband and mobiles this morning to try and negotiate on cost. No such luck. I was advised by both that I'm already on the lowest possible packages including discounts, etc.

I'm a cleaner but it's minimum wage for 7 hours a week. My wages go entirely on nursery fees for DS. A logical answer would be to take him out of nursery and use my small wage to contribute towards the living costs. However, I had a breakdown a few months ago and have diagnosed GAD & healthy anxiety. I'm on medication now and awaiting CBT but I'd struggle to cope if DS didn't have his nursery to go to. He also loves it.

I hate my job. It's an inconvenient time of day and I always feel worthless and looked down upon. I've been applying for other jobs, any and all that I can with no luck.

I don't know what else I can do. I've been selling things on FB to try and make some money for christmas presents and extra food shopping but I'm fast running out of things to sell.

We have no money for emergencies, clothes, haircuts, car repairs, home repairs, dentist appointments, etc. Our boilers been playing up intermittently for a year but I can't afford to get anyone out to have a look. I do have some kind of repair and service thing but it's still a £90 charge. I need a new pair of glasses but I can't afford that at the moment either. They've been falling off at work and now the lenses are badly scratched.

Long term the solution is obviously for me to find a new better paying job with longer hours but I can't magic one up from nowhere. We don't qualify for any benefits.

Any advice or just someone to moan to would be great! I even had a nightmare last night, I'm worrying so much. The economy crashed and we were forced out of our home and into temporary accommodation where we had neighbours from hell who harassed us. 😂

PS: Please don't tell me to get rid of my cats.

Oh yes and previous posters are right - domestic cleaning you can often take your toddler with you if the client is amenable and they can be trusted not to touch / break things

I'm 25 next year and had so many visions of where I'd be by then and now I just feel like I've made such a mess of everything. I feel so fucking shit that I haven't been able to provide better for DS and the DSC.

I'd double check a UC claim, they would pay 85% of your childcare bill. There's a really good Facebook group called Universal Credit Essentials

Won't be popular but are you paying the correct amount of child maintenance?

And thank you, for all the ideas and suggestions and general support so far. You've no idea how much it means. I'm still reading through all the suggestions. Not sure about the ironing though! Have never used one in my life!

I don't know how you find out about these things, but local to me there is a food scheme, where local shops provide short shelf life food for £5 for £25 worth. Anyone can by it. I know housing staff at LA would have lots of this info but not sure if they help home owners. Your MP might know about similar schemes in your area.

Hi @LordoftheDance I don’t know who your water supplier is but my friend is with Severn Trent and last year when she was struggling they gave her a year off and they also halve payments it might be worth giving your supplier a ring. (And no you can’t have your water shut off!}
There’s also a charity called capuk.org that could help you out and also your local citizens advice bureau might be able to help you out. Have you got any local food banks that you could use?
As for working how about putting up a flier at nursery school advertising your cleaning services and you could do that whilst little ones at nursery. Best of luck 💐

Broadband seems high .. I'd cut that right down . Only ten quid a month savings but you shouldnt be paying that much
And you have difficukt choices. 2 cars may help you short term but long term.you may be better investing on tackling the anxiety... some.coaching for drinking the bigger car and for walking ki mg or similar to nursery. Or could you car share with someone half a week? Also think about food bulk cooking.... you don't seem.ro spend much but maybe tiny bit could be saved if you learn when food is sold cheaply, or use pulses or similar just for a little while. Its winter so that kind of food is good to cook now . But truth be told it's a tight budget ... l lots of wieghing up of priorities I guess....
Yes to cleaning privately. Shits to complain about bra t ki tal and utter sexist shit ... I hope your manager told them what for

Hope it gets better.

Is there a food bank locally? Or any community minded helping hands like church groups? If you could shave a few pounds off the weekly food shop, that could go towards glasses and unforeseen expenses.

To me it sounds like you're at a real low. It is so hard when you feel like that and your situation is tough. You sound smart though so I think you'll be alright after this awful time.

There are some reddit subs for offering people a helping hand. You can make a post outlining your situation and people can offer aid if they can.

In regards to the maintenance, we were paying £450 but after a discussion with DH's Ex, they agreed he would reduce it to the minimum amount of £380 as we were struggling so much financially. Luckily, Ex is absolutely lovely and they get on really well. Though, I still felt absolutely terrible that we had to do it and so did DH.

When dc is at nursery could you do some private cleaning jobs at peoples homes?

Not a long term solution but if your credit scores ok, could you change banks to one with a switching bonus (check MSE for deals), that might get you £150-200 for Christmas.

Is there a cheaper child care option? I know you need the brake for your health, but could you use a child minder insted if that would save you a bit. And have another look at tax free childcare, you have to each be working 16 hours (or earning 16xNMW if self employed, but I think they waver that in the first year of buisness).

At 25 you are being so so so hard on yourself!!!! Nobody has their life sorted yet.

Also on the bra issue - at 25 your boobs are still holding themselves up!!!

You are being really hard on yourself but you are exploring your options and taking on the challenge. There is nothing to be more proud of.

Just keep swimming xx

Not sure about the ironing though! Have never used one in my life!

I’d ironed maybe 4 times before I decided to try it. I watched loads of YouTube videos from professional ironers to gets some tips. Really helpful! I even saw a brilliant tip for transporting it in my car.

Ps don’t touch Avon with a barge pole. It’s an MLM and you will spend more money than you make through sales. If you even get any sales.

Definitely check your council tax and if you pay over ten months, get onto the council and change it to twelve months because they can do it from your next month's payment do you'd save a bit straight away. We did this when my DH was made redundant a few years ago and instead of two months left at £140, they switched it so it became four months at £70 and then from the April whatever the new year rate was but over twelve months, I think it came out about £30 a month cheaper which covered my car insurance as we couldn't pay that in one go anymore.

I know you have said that you've checked benefits but did you include the childcare costs when you were checking that. I have friends who have higher combined income who got tax credits but maybe universal credit less generous.

@standupsitdownturnaround Hah! All these years of being braless and unfortunately they don't hold themselves up anymore! They're down by my bellybutton! 😂 Unbelievably saggy tor 25!

Thank you though, I really appreciate your supportive comments x

Are you claiming marriage allowance? www.gov.uk/marriage-allowance
There's a full explanation on that page, but it could save you £250 a year by transferring some of your unused tax allowance to your husband. It can be backdated for a few tax years if your income was below the tax threshold in those years as well. Hope things look brighter soon xx

And, you don't mention child benefit, are you claiming that for your DS?

Have you thought about selling the house and buying somewhere cheaper?

Why dint you get a weekend job in a shop Saturday and Sunday, quit the cleaning and then you get your evenings back together and your DH gets rest after work. I did this while my DD was little and it worked well for us

It doesn't matter if your boobs are saggy or not. You don't have to wear a bra!

Have you thought about working in the care industry? You could do nights so wouldn't have any childcare bills and the shifts are 12 hours so each night is 12 hours pay - most care homes are happy to give 12, 24 or 36 hour contracts. That would really boost your income.

Can you increase your mortgage term to the maximum number of years to reduce your monthly payments?

If you're on FB have a look on the Universal Credit Essentials group. I know you said you don't qualify but if you used the entitledTo calculator they are sometime wrong with their calculations. The moderators on the FB group are really knowledgable and will do a calculation for you.