What the heck can I do?

[LordoftheDance]

I'm struggling with our finances. Just to say, this isn't a begging thread. I'm simply hoping for some solidarity from others who have or are in a similar position and for some advice and tips of things I might not have thought of. Although, I'm pretty sure I've exhausted all options at this point.

Our finances aren't sustainable longterm. Our bills come to £1550 per month; so left from DHs wages we have £380. We spend £120 on fuel & £260 on food. That's it. Money gone. There's two adults, a toddler still in nappies, four teen DSC EOW and two cats.

There's nothing I can do about any of our bills. I've cancelled Netflix and Amazon Prime this morning. Besides those, we don't have any kind of TV package. Just basic wifi and landline. I spent several hours on the phone to companies including broadband and mobiles this morning to try and negotiate on cost. No such luck. I was advised by both that I'm already on the lowest possible packages including discounts, etc.

I'm a cleaner but it's minimum wage for 7 hours a week. My wages go entirely on nursery fees for DS. A logical answer would be to take him out of nursery and use my small wage to contribute towards the living costs. However, I had a breakdown a few months ago and have diagnosed GAD & healthy anxiety. I'm on medication now and awaiting CBT but I'd struggle to cope if DS didn't have his nursery to go to. He also loves it.

I hate my job. It's an inconvenient time of day and I always feel worthless and looked down upon. I've been applying for other jobs, any and all that I can with no luck.

I don't know what else I can do. I've been selling things on FB to try and make some money for christmas presents and extra food shopping but I'm fast running out of things to sell.

We have no money for emergencies, clothes, haircuts, car repairs, home repairs, dentist appointments, etc. Our boilers been playing up intermittently for a year but I can't afford to get anyone out to have a look. I do have some kind of repair and service thing but it's still a £90 charge. I need a new pair of glasses but I can't afford that at the moment either. They've been falling off at work and now the lenses are badly scratched.

Long term the solution is obviously for me to find a new better paying job with longer hours but I can't magic one up from nowhere. We don't qualify for any benefits.

Any advice or just someone to moan to would be great! I even had a nightmare last night, I'm worrying so much. The economy crashed and we were forced out of our home and into temporary accommodation where we had neighbours from hell who harassed us. 😂

PS: Please don't tell me to get rid of my cats.

@CarrotInATree Well, we've only been here for a year and a half. I thought it was pretty cheap when we bought it. Not sure we'd find another three bed terrace any cheaper unless we moved hundreds of miles away.

@DeliciousDahl ah, thanks but we aren't actually married yet. Should have referred to him as DP rather than DH!

@frugalkitty thanks, I'll definitely give the council a ring tomorrow. And yes, we are claiming the child benefit for DS.

There is a good website called entitled to, list all your income and your little ones nursery fees and it will show u if your are entitled to something from that. Also switch your council tax to over 12 months instead of 10. Will you OH not be able to claim the tax free childcare, there is also a Calculator for this online too. I also agree your best bet here is to advertise on Facebook etc to be a private cleaner.

At 25, this sounds tough and you need to be easy on yourself - I wasn’t even settled into a LT at 25!

I think you’ll have to look seriously at PP’s money earning suggestions as running two cars, paying for nursery when there’s a parent at home and one parent having 5 children are all really expensive lifestyle choices. The bottom line is that you need more money coming in.

To posters suggesting they reduce maintenance, do you really think it would be appropriate to reduce payment (at only £100 per month per child) when the household runs two cars and pays for childcare that isn’t necessary?

Fag packet calculation, but I think you'd get about £35-40 of UC a month? But only with childcare added on (without it the Wage knocks out I think).

@emotionalbutterfly

Have you tried doing comparisons for energy? You'd be surprised what you can save.

Have you got sky? Or expensive broadband?

Read the fucking OP

I have a friend who swears by the website Top Cashback. He reckons he’s received over £1000 in the last 12 months and it’s not cost him anything.

Could you rent out a room on Air bnb?

I definitely think you could get £13/15 an hour as a cleaner if you are happy to clean other peoples houses.

With your waste water charge, does your run off, as in your house drain pipes, goe into the drains or do they run off into the garden? If so you shouldn’t be paying for that. It’s called a surface water drainage rebate. Might only be a few quid though. Sorry only thing I came up with so far.

I know nothing about this but I get lots of emails about teaching English online.

Not sure how well it pays and if it's an option but it might be worth a look.

Just done entitled to calculator again. I'm entitled to job seekers allowance for six months because I work less than sixteen hours a week. And it also said we'd be entitled to £29.79 universal credit too but I'm not sure about that. Going to look properly again later.

Have a look at matched betting, it's not gambling but taking advantage of bookmakers' offers in a way that does not involve risk. I think there might be some threads here but there are good websites showing you how to do it too eg Oddsmonkey. It's useful if you have a bit of spare time. You can make a decent amount of money from it (I did).

I also did some swaps of suppliers using cashback websites like Quidco and Topcashback eg £50 or 60 cashback for changing to Bulb energy. There are also survey websites like Prolific where you get sent academic surveys eg a student survey about packaging. They're easy and interesting and you normally get 50p to £1 for a few minutes work, so it won't solve your problems but in combination with other things they add up. I made more than £3000 last year between that, matched betting and cashback which helped clear debt. There is also a thread on here about Appen I think? Just search for it but there are some people making money at home in their spare time and it might fit around your hours.

Last never feel worthless for being a cleaner. Imagine how bad the pandemic would be or how grotty everything would get without cleaners! I'm in a professional job now but I've been a cleaner and shop assistant too and it is hard graft that you should be proud of and respected for doing. Thank you all cleaners

Oh one more thing to add, renting the step children’s’ room out during the week is a brilliant idea. Also have you considered becoming some kind of specialist cleaner, around where I live I am always seeing adverts for oven cleaning, carpet cleaning and even wheelie bin cleaning- if you focus on one area and do it really well you could make more money. Or what about car valeting- when you go to the person’s house to do it.

I just had a look - the September £10 a Day thread on this board is the one I was thinking of.

Have you thought about applying for PIP for your mental health conditions? If they are affecting you badly enough that you can only go out by car, you may qualify for some PIP, it may only be a bit but every bit counts.

I do some surveys not a lot but about £50 a month also if you have an asda near you about 7 they reduce a lot of stuff well they do where i live bread 10p mince 50p and stuff like that,one of the survey sits you don't get money you get gift cards for places like argo ,sainsburrys can't remember the rest if you want to know the sits message me

TBF tinkering around the edges with your bills isn’t going to make enough of a difference.

You need to find a job. Be that cleaning (Facebook local pages are full of requests) or signing up with every agency / reed / indeed etc has got to be your best bet. I know the job industry is hard at the moment but you need to spruce up your cv and get yourself out there.

Can you do interest only on your mortgage until you don't have to pay child maintenance?

Your water bill sounds a lot also change your lecy and gas octopus is quite cheap british gas is expensive there are 3 adults and 2 children in my house and the water is£25 a month

Speak to the DWP to see if they can help you OP. Also, seriously consider cleaning peoples homes. As another poster said, you can earn £10 p/h. I know as I used to do that myself. Also, look online for end of tenancy cleans, really good if you can get into that. And, LOADS of elderly people are crying out for someone to do their shopping, it will also make good use of your car x

could you be an uber driver.
or a delivery driver.
care worker, domilcilary, to combine with cleaning, self employed.

Could you get rid of the nursery and come to a agreement with another mum that one day she takes your toddler and then another day you take hers for a play date? That would mean you get a break for free and your toddler would also have an extra day with another child aswell? It would free up your nursery Money. Would it also be possible to let a room in your house out? I know you might not have the space to do this but it is handy money if you could though with Covid you might not want to do that.

Op try By Miles for your car insurance if you don't drive much. Its a pay per usage bases insurance and in my experience I have found it cheaper than the usual names. Wish you all the luck!

Also not popular

How often do the step children stay?

I'm confused as to why YOU are so anxious over this when the income and expenditure of your DP actually are the cause.

According to the child maintenance cost you gave and assuming the children stay every other weekend.... £400 means your DP earns about £34k

If they don't stay over, if he doesn't earn this much then YOU are suffering anxiety actually caused by your DP.

I greatly admire you for your fight to make things better.

Have just applied for another full time receptionist job that's just been advertised. Just had to do a thirty minute assessment. Fingers crossed for me! Off to bed now but will have another read through of this thread tomorrow. Thanks again all!