What the heck can I do?

[LordoftheDance]

I'm struggling with our finances. Just to say, this isn't a begging thread. I'm simply hoping for some solidarity from others who have or are in a similar position and for some advice and tips of things I might not have thought of. Although, I'm pretty sure I've exhausted all options at this point.

Our finances aren't sustainable longterm. Our bills come to £1550 per month; so left from DHs wages we have £380. We spend £120 on fuel & £260 on food. That's it. Money gone. There's two adults, a toddler still in nappies, four teen DSC EOW and two cats.

There's nothing I can do about any of our bills. I've cancelled Netflix and Amazon Prime this morning. Besides those, we don't have any kind of TV package. Just basic wifi and landline. I spent several hours on the phone to companies including broadband and mobiles this morning to try and negotiate on cost. No such luck. I was advised by both that I'm already on the lowest possible packages including discounts, etc.

I'm a cleaner but it's minimum wage for 7 hours a week. My wages go entirely on nursery fees for DS. A logical answer would be to take him out of nursery and use my small wage to contribute towards the living costs. However, I had a breakdown a few months ago and have diagnosed GAD & healthy anxiety. I'm on medication now and awaiting CBT but I'd struggle to cope if DS didn't have his nursery to go to. He also loves it.

I hate my job. It's an inconvenient time of day and I always feel worthless and looked down upon. I've been applying for other jobs, any and all that I can with no luck.

I don't know what else I can do. I've been selling things on FB to try and make some money for christmas presents and extra food shopping but I'm fast running out of things to sell.

We have no money for emergencies, clothes, haircuts, car repairs, home repairs, dentist appointments, etc. Our boilers been playing up intermittently for a year but I can't afford to get anyone out to have a look. I do have some kind of repair and service thing but it's still a £90 charge. I need a new pair of glasses but I can't afford that at the moment either. They've been falling off at work and now the lenses are badly scratched.

Long term the solution is obviously for me to find a new better paying job with longer hours but I can't magic one up from nowhere. We don't qualify for any benefits.

Any advice or just someone to moan to would be great! I even had a nightmare last night, I'm worrying so much. The economy crashed and we were forced out of our home and into temporary accommodation where we had neighbours from hell who harassed us. 😂

PS: Please don't tell me to get rid of my cats.

I did also speak to citizens advice regarding UC. They seem to agree we wouldn't be entitled.

@ColleagueFromMars Hi and thanks. I'd like to do matched betting but every time I read up on it, it sounds really confusing. I'm also worried I could end up addicted. I'm trying to even stay away from things like the National Lotto because I get sucked in way too easily!

Have you checked if you can claim any benefits for your anxiety, you may be due to PIP, it may only be a bit but every little helps. Are you due any UC? Check on entitledto.com if you haven't already claimed.

If you only qualify for £6.21 JSA, it is income based which means that you qualify for free prescriptions, dental treatment, eye tests & a voucher towards your glasses. You should also qualify for a discount on your council tax as well. You may be able to claim a warm homes grant of £140 towards your gas & electric & a grant for a new boiler as well.

Thought I'd come back and share a little update for anyone interested.

Things have definitely improved. We have managed to slightly reduce our outgoings. DS no longer attends nursery so we don't have to pay fees anymore. And surprisingly I'm coping very well having him home all the time, in fact, I'm even enjoying it.

I've returned to work doing my cleaning job and also claiming ESA. So now we no longer pay nursery fees, I bring just over £450 a month from my job and the ESA combined. We have about £400 left from DH wages after direct Debits too. So that gives up about £850 for food, fuel and any extras, savings, etc. And we are managing to save a small amount too which is good.

We have embraced a vegetarian diet for environmental reasons and money saving which is also going well. DH is thinking of getting rid of his money burning old 8 seater car too.

Still trying to find more ways to save and cut back. I'm also still looking for a job with more hours but no luck there yet.

Thanks to everyone for all their help and ideas.

Great news, well done

@CarrotInATree

Have you thought about selling the house and buying somewhere cheaper?

She'd have to pay solicitors and estate agents, stamp duty , removals though. It's not cheap to move.

I saw in one of your earlier posts that you feel like a failure. Certainly don't feel like this, you sound a good person and a good mum who is trying to do everything you can in a difficult situation. I was inspired to create an account just so I could say this.

As others have suggested there isnt an easy solution, but it seems most of your financial problems are temporary. Once your step children are of age and your son is in school you'll be significantly better off. Until then its just a case of trying to get through. Your mortgage doubtless seems expensive but remember every payment thats made is money saved which will help you some day.

Best of luck.

What about care work? There's lots of it about

Sounds like you've made significant changes to improve a difficult situation...great work, OP!