Should I refuse to pay half?

[plaintomatopasta]

We are moving house soon and part of the sale money will pay off our credit cards and my overdraft. My dh has said then we can just pay for everything 50/50 from the joint account.

He said we should each have our own bank account but pay into the joint for the mortgage and bills 50/50. I asked if this would be proportionally and he said no. To make it fair we should just split it all 50/50. Is this fair? Am I being right or wrong by saying I don't want to pay an equal half?

Depends whether you earn equal wages? Does he earn significantly more or less than you?

Assuming by your post that he earns significantly more than you, then he is being an arse.

I take it he earns more than you ? It's a shits trick.. I earn far more than dh. We put into joint account & savings proportionally so we have the same spends left.

whats the difference in what you earn?

He's on £48k p/a and I'm on £13k p/a to start with. Mine will rise eventually up to £26k p/a but I'm working a 0.5 rate as I'll only do half a week.

Are you working part time for childcare reasons? This makes a difference.
In principle I think pro rata to income is fairest.

Our dc doesn't start in school till January so until then I am only part time as our childminder can't do five days. Even when I am full time I'm still earning £22k less so I thought we should pay in proportionally so as my wage increases I'll pay more.

Either all joint family money or proportional, otherwise you are subsidising his spending. Awful behaviour on his part.

right so he takes home over 2.5k a month, and you less than 850? (guessing) and he wants you to pay 50%

he's a tosser - are you married? yes? then you are a team and support each other
do you have DC is that why your earning is lower?

Umm, YRNBU, infact I would refuse to sign anything til you have got this agreed: fine to each have your own account. Work out a reasonable budget, including savings if appropriate, then the total required each month. Split that total across the two of you in proportion to your income.

If you are also providing childcare, factor that contribution in too. All the best.

Who pays for the childminder?

or you both pay all in to the joint account and both have the same amount out for spending

Does he pay you for childminding / housekeeping (assuming you do most of the household chores being part time)

I am the main parent/caregiver as he earns a lot more and so it made sense for me to take a break. Now I'm back working (I'm a teacher) I've accepted a half timetable job share with an NQT. In the new year there might well be the opportunity to increase and certainly in a year I will be full time. It actually makes sense because it coincides with our DS starting school so there's no need for me to be at home during the day term time anyway.

I am more than happy to pay my own way but I'm going to struggle paying 50% of everything on just my half wage at first.

It is fair to have an equal amount disposable AFTER the joint account has been filled, so, you should BOTH be left with, say 400 each when you both had paid into the joint account.

That's quite a big difference, I'd say it would be fairer to each contribute a percentage that reflects the amount that each of you earns, if you pay 50:50 you will be subsidising him.

He's a cheeky bastard!

No, just no, of course you can't pay 50% when your income is so much lower! Work out a budget and split it proportionately, and definitely keep your own account

How do your finances work at the moment?

So what's he planning on spending all the extra cash he has on?

I will pay for the childminder when I start work. I do now on my supply wage. I don't get any housekeeping money now that I've started work.

of course you are going to struggle -

Your wage:
Our salary calculator indicates that on a £13,000 salary (gross income of £13,000 per year) you receive take home pay of £12,120 (a net wage of £12,120).

His wage monthly take home 2,942.27

so he wants 1900 more than you a month?

has he always been so tight?

i cant stand meanness

@ijustwannadance I don't know! Probably keep it in a vault!

So even though he earns 50k you have to pay for childcare?!

Even when on full pay he is earning 2x your wage. How the fuck is he justifying this?

That's quite selfish behaviour on his part. Is he always like this?

@Ariawyn yeah he's always been tight. He would put £50 a month into the joint account for me for spending but that all went on the food bill! Anything more I'd have to ask him if I could borrow some money.