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Original poster

Husband sacked Can anyone help me work out what we can claim?

204 replies

felttippens · 08/06/2014 11:27

I'm completely confused ! We have three children - age 7 11 and 15
I'm self employed but only earnt 4k last year
He now doesn't have a job
We have a mortgage

What do we do???? Xxx

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 08/06/2014 20:48

No, not necessarily, and he may be sanctioned.

Instead of thinking of benefits you can claim it might be far better to put the most effort into both of you getting jobs ASAP.

expatinscotland · 08/06/2014 20:49

You are self-employed, this effects claiming as a couple.

MrsLindor · 08/06/2014 20:50

He should know if he's lost his registration or not. I wonder if there's a professional hearing pending and that's what he's hiding from.

Have you seen all the paperwork from his disciplinary at work?

MatildaV · 08/06/2014 20:50

I think it's realistic to do both expat - get any claims in now for benefits AND both start looking for work. Benefits can take weeks to sort out, as can starting dates for new jobs. It's sensible to look at both sides.

Timeandtune · 08/06/2014 20:52

On a bit of a tangent. Have you had the house valued recently? It may no longer be in negative equity.
Worth doing as part of a general financial appraisal of your situation.
Sorry he is being so useless. This is a time when you need to support each other.

BelleateSebastian · 08/06/2014 20:57

sorry op, I was thinking he was a nurse manager!

expatinscotland · 08/06/2014 20:59

He needs to come clean with you exactly what went into his dismissal, because it's reading like as it stands he is not eligible for JSA.

WonderingAllowed · 08/06/2014 21:09

Can you try for a mortgage payment 'holiday' OP. We got one for 6 months when DH was made redundant. I should imagine it depends on how long you have had the mortgage and obviously it would increase the mortgage in the long term but it would give you some time.

Then you would have tax credits and child benefit to cover essentials. You will also be able to get council tax support to cover most of your council tax if you are only earning 4k per year. Don't forget free school meals as well. You get them if you earn under 16k.

Original poster
felttippens · 08/06/2014 21:22

I certainly will be expat I'm just trying to come up with a plan b as although my business hasn't been very profitable with me I have a huge amount of orders committed with me that people are waiting for and I can't just walk away from them yet I will have to wind up the business

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Original poster
felttippens · 08/06/2014 21:23

I saw the paperwork from last hearing but not final hearing - we are still waiting for the official confirmation to come

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MrsLindor · 08/06/2014 21:33

Ok, so at least you know for certain what he was being disciplined for. However, in this situation you should know everything, you shouldn't have to look at his professional body's website to know if he's still registered.

He will have been referred to the HCPC or other body at the point of dismissal if he hasn't been already, they would probably suspend him pending a hearing, you should know this.

MrsLindor · 08/06/2014 21:34

Again not having a go at you, just thinking he isn't telling you everything.

Waltermittythesequel · 08/06/2014 21:46

treading how do you feel about him? About being married to him?

MrsLindor · 08/06/2014 21:47

I'd be rapidly losing respect.

Waltermittythesequel · 08/06/2014 21:49

Yup!

MamaMumra · 08/06/2014 21:54

So sorry to hear this OP.
I think the first thing you should do is come to an arrangement for mortgage / council tax. Speak to all your creditors and arrange a reduced payment.
I would not mention that your H has no realistic job prospects in his profession.

Has he also been struck off his professional register? Or suspended? Is there anyway for him to get back on?
I know this isn't useful now but it's good to hold onto a long term plan.

I know it feels like you are screwed, and what has happened is terrible for you and the kids, but get a plan in place and it'll help you feel more in control.
Good luck.

Original poster
felttippens · 08/06/2014 22:41

I think I'll know much more tomorrow when this letter arrives - it came and was missed on Friday and he didn't go to collection office for it yesterday Hmm

In terms of how I feel? Hard to sum it up - i know that my depression and anxiety issues are made worse by him, that when he is stoned I find him completely pathetic and unattractive, I feel constantly let down by him, but also ground down by the whole situation and pretty passive - I let things go when in the past I would have gone mad - maybe symptoms of my anti depressants feeling detached from it all.

Definitely lost pretty much all respect for him but trying to keep things normal for the kids, just getting on with things a day at a time. I've had a huge amount on as well, my teenage daughter has been severely bullied at school so the last few weeks have been consumed with worrying about her, dealing with the news that she has been self harming and finding her a new school. Also have a terminally ill dad and various other distractions from the reality that my husband is a useless drug addict.

OP posts:
ssd · 09/06/2014 09:26

really feel for you op, you've got enough on your plate without him adding to it

would you be better off separating from him and concentrating on you and your dd? he is responsible for himself, but he doesnt seem to want to know this.

hopefully your dad has a care package in place too.

try to put yourself first for a change. Thanks

Original poster
felttippens · 09/06/2014 09:44

Well we have the letter and it's gross misconduct so no notice period pay. Fuck.

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Original poster
felttippens · 09/06/2014 09:48

Thankyou ssd, my dad is doing remarkably well on Boxing Day they told us only weeks left but he has rallied somewhat Smile

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Original poster
felttippens · 09/06/2014 16:45

Killed my own thread !

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AreYouFeelingLucky · 09/06/2014 16:55

I'm not sure that there is much left to say.

Your husband doesn't care. His lack of care and respect goes so far that he didn't pick up the letter which would let you plan ahead, he left it until someone else delivered it for him.

He doesn't seem to realise that this is important. That this is vital, and that going back to smoking drugs just proves that the NHS were right. He needs to pull himself together and find a new, proper job. He needs to find out if he's likely to be permanently removed from the register. He needs to suck it up, because the state isn't going too. They'll write to his last workplace regarding why he was sacked, find out that it was gross misconduct and sanction him for 26 weeks.

It's not like you don't have enough to deal with, either. Tell him to step up or fuck off, and maybe he'll see the bigger picture.

expatinscotland · 09/06/2014 16:57

I have a suspicion he knew this all along, OP. They will have covered their bases and it was his responsibility to have knowledge or and declare his criminal background to them when asked as a term and condition of employment.

You may need to separate from him to claim more working and child tax credit.

Original poster
felttippens · 09/06/2014 16:57

Your right - what can anyone say I suppose

Finding it so frustrating that I can't fix this myself , have felt very anxious all day since the gross misconduct letter, seeing it in black and white makes it sink in

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Original poster
felttippens · 09/06/2014 16:59

Ive read the minutes of the hearing today and he didn't stand a chance , he didn't take any advice about what to say and although he claimed that he didn't realise he then confirms positively to a statement from the police confirming the procedure was as they set out

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