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Original poster

Help.......... Ex related CSA and extra payments......

203 replies

Reginaphalangey · 29/10/2012 11:54

Can anyone offer me some advice please........

I have no biological kids of my own (yet) but My wonderful partner of 6months has a 4yr old child from a previous marriage,

His ex left him, and since the split he has had 50% custody of the child and has faithfully paid monthly amounts over half extra to the amount required of him by law through the CSA......

His ex however is challenging him that he does not contribute enough...... And over and above him paying extra to her per month, she now expects him to pay half of all extra curricular activities!!!

To me this seems unreasonable, and that she will continue to want more and more from him.....
But my querie is, what do the child support payments cover, and can anyone else offer their opinion on my dilemma??

Should he drop back to paying only the required monthly amount??? And should she be demanding any extra above the figure given by the CSA???

Thanks for reading

OP posts:
ShirleyRots · 30/10/2012 12:38

"never said you have to like them or even agree"

I don't and I don't. Hence the reason you are getting responded to. That's how it works.

The tone you have received is in direct proportion to the tone that you gave out.

If you don't like it, I'd suggest you tone down the woman hating and dial up the not being vicious.

HTH

anklebitersmum · 30/10/2012 12:46

SockreturningPixie hate to argue the point but according to the CSA cost incurred to collect and or drop off children are an 'it's your problem' even on a percentage basis.

To go to see them and visit..eg drive to Scotland, stay a few days, drop them back to RP and then go home to Cornwall would count as you're not taking them back to your residence.

Well, that's what the letter we got said Confused

nicky2012 · 30/10/2012 12:46

vicious! pot kettle black spings to mind with some of your comments take your own adivce honey.

gobbymare · 30/10/2012 12:48

My boyfriend pays his ex £35 p/w for his child (7yr old girl) and always has even tho we have her 3 nights per week and my partners mother has her 1 night p/w so the mother only has her 3 nights p/w, partner also pays half towards her uniform.
Anyone think this is excessive or am i just a tight wad Smile

MrsjREwing · 30/10/2012 12:52

what does he earn?

anklebitersmum · 30/10/2012 12:54

If all parental parties are happy then that's OK isn't it gobby? Confused

MrsjREwing · 30/10/2012 12:55

So your bf has his child 3/7 nights, then he gets a discount for the nights he has care. Your bf pays towards his child, he doesn't give his ex money.

IneedAsockamnesty · 30/10/2012 12:55

and as to what side of the fence i sit on.

i am currently one of the parents who has a minimum assesment from a self employed nrp who has just (in the last 10 days) be proven to have comited fraud with regard to csa and hmrc is in arrears totalling several years.so obviously the assesment will be changing.but chances are still not paid.

i also currently pay £500 pm to a mother towards maintaining my stepchild whose dad sadly passed away some years ago the 500 was his maintainance liability that ceased to exist on his death but i continue to fund that as its the right thing to do.and i will continue to do so untill she reaches 19 after that i will help her with setting up accomadation ect exactly how her dad would have done.

as well as still paying £55 pm(private arangement) to the mother of my exbf's child who is also the father of my youngest child whom i recive no maintainance for and will not even ask for because i cannot be bothered with dealing with the csa again when i know he has nil income i wouldnt even if he was earning. however i will stop paying that in january as thats when i said i will pay it till. i have no issues with ceasing to pay this it is not my responsability never has been and i think ive been very helpful in paying it for the last 18 months.

so i guess its fair to say im approaching it from both sides.

i dislike the csa intensly or i did when it was first set up due to its practice of targetting the ones who were already paying maintainance because it was easyer to get those ones.

i think its admin is shockingly bad, its enforcement is not used as often as it should be and its not fit for purpose they make far to many mistakes.

but i do not and will never think that to expect any parent to make a reasonable contribution towards there child no matter how many they have is a punishment to be resented.

ATourchOfInsanity · 30/10/2012 12:56

Nicky can obvs afford to swan about in her mansion and luckily has enough money not only for her own DC's but to support the seemingly careless man with such high tastes in women partner's kids too.

Maybe you should give yourself a pat on the back Nicky, but no need to be so spiteful and angry to other women less fortunate than your good self.

A lot of us believe that the man does actually have some responsibility for his offspring. If you see yourself as a one man baby machine with added extras allowing your men to run away as it suits them then that is all very well for you, however many of us clearly don't have your relaxed stance to morality.

happybubblebrain · 30/10/2012 12:59

It's just nice to hear of a father supporting his child. Quite rare these days.

anklebitersmum · 30/10/2012 13:01

Sockreturningpixie sounds like you like CSA about as much as I do and come from a two fenced garden too Grin

IneedAsockamnesty · 30/10/2012 13:10

ankle you may wish to appeal that and take it to tribunal. as the variation rules clearly state travel costs surounding contact.

but i do know that the child would have to be staying with you not returned to pwc each night you are there and its not intended to cover any accomadation

so if you collect the child take child away then return child at the end of regular contact it should be covered, additional irregular holidays are not counted but regular contact is obviously if you claim any discount for nights the child stays with you then the expectation would be that the child is collected taken to your residence then returned home iyswim?

but it may really be worth getting them to look at it again fyi the tribunal people are often far more accomadating than the csa are if thats helpfull to you.

IneedAsockamnesty · 30/10/2012 13:12

oh i think we both like them equally Grin

BeingBooyhoo · 30/10/2012 13:12

not it's not rare happybubble!! why do you say that?

nicky2012 · 30/10/2012 13:12

i dont live in a mansion and have never claimed to do so. and we all make mistakes his was her. i had no problem giving her money she 's had a fair wack and the kid would of wanted for nothing but greed got the better and well now she gets nothing of me.

ShirleyRots · 30/10/2012 13:16

It is rare actually beingbooyhoo. Sad

The majority of LP's receive no CM. 4/5 to be precise.

PickledFanjoCat · 30/10/2012 13:17

Why are you paying her Nicky? He's a grown man should he not be paying himself?

nicky2012 · 30/10/2012 13:24

caus he lost his job and all 3 of us agreed that in the interest of the kid that id continue his payments in a private agreement this was fine till i had my 2nd baby payments remained the same to her tho even tho she'd stopped contact thn he got part time work and my business grew, then she wanted more and more when i said no thats when she got the csa

BeingBooyhoo · 30/10/2012 13:26

"The majority of LP's receive no CM. 4/5 to be precise. "

happybubble didn't say men who are NRP's. she just said men.

BeingBooyhoo · 30/10/2012 13:27

sorry. she said fathers. not NRP fathers.

MrsjREwing · 30/10/2012 13:35

Nicky, were the Skids upset at Dad having a new baby?

DinosaursOnASpaceship · 30/10/2012 13:39

My exH and I have 50/50 shared residency of our children.

At the time when we split up (going back years) a CSA claim was automatic, and even though he told them he had them 3/4 nights a week he was still assessed as having to pay £20 per week CSA.

This was on top of paying our (joint) mortgage, bills, providing food and activities when the boys were with him. Poor sod.

I on the other hand, moved out, claimed child benefit, child tax, got housing benefit etc.

I never thought it was very fair and didn't have any CSA from him.

Exp and I have one child. He (exp) moved back in with his parents and pays no rent or bills. He doesn't have our child over night. CSA assessed him and said he had to pay £45 a week towards bringing our child up but he refuses. Just chucks a pack of nappies at me every so often. Our second child is due in a few months and I doubt he will pay towards this one either.

In the OPs case, I dont think I would pay an extra, unless your partner is getting half of the child benefit and half of the child tax credit then it doesn't seem fair that he is paying CSA at all.

MissKeithLemon · 30/10/2012 13:41

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PickledFanjoCat · 30/10/2012 13:45

He sounds like a loser.

Nicky, Leave The Bastard.

BeingBooyhoo · 30/10/2012 13:45

so really nicky has ended up in a situation where she works her ass off, building up her business so she can pay for the children of two different men who dont see fit to pay for them out of their own pockets?

Brew anyone? (and that's not a cup)