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Help.......... Ex related CSA and extra payments......

203 replies

Reginaphalangey · 29/10/2012 11:54

Can anyone offer me some advice please........

I have no biological kids of my own (yet) but My wonderful partner of 6months has a 4yr old child from a previous marriage,

His ex left him, and since the split he has had 50% custody of the child and has faithfully paid monthly amounts over half extra to the amount required of him by law through the CSA......

His ex however is challenging him that he does not contribute enough...... And over and above him paying extra to her per month, she now expects him to pay half of all extra curricular activities!!!

To me this seems unreasonable, and that she will continue to want more and more from him.....
But my querie is, what do the child support payments cover, and can anyone else offer their opinion on my dilemma??

Should he drop back to paying only the required monthly amount??? And should she be demanding any extra above the figure given by the CSA???

Thanks for reading

OP posts:
WkdSM · 30/10/2012 11:44

MrsJRE - I don't think Nickki is the OP - unless I have missed something.
The OP asked a quite structured question but the thread seems to have gone off course a bit.

nicky2012 · 30/10/2012 11:45

i was not trying to say others views were wrong, or that they should think the way i do. but its quite clear on THIS forum if you dont claim csa or agree with the rest them then bulling tactics and childish personal name calling will be used. im done with this now as i dont share the same view on csa as you every thing i put will be twisted

anklebitersmum · 30/10/2012 11:48

Nope nicky's not the OP. The OP just wanted to know whether the netters thought it would be easier to 'just' pay CSA amount because the ex wanted ever increasing extras.

Opened a right can of worms Wink

nicky2012 · 30/10/2012 11:48

mrsjre have you read the posts? clearly not MY CHILDREN MY PARTNER AND MY JOB WERE ALL BROUGHT IN TO IT.

nicky2012 · 30/10/2012 11:50

pft can of worms! god its more like ive uncoverd a pit of maggots

digerd · 30/10/2012 11:52

Nicky
I am surprised it's not more.

ShirleyRots · 30/10/2012 11:53

You seem unable to remain "on topic". It makes it very difficult to have a discussion with someone who shifts from one irrelevent point to another without ever addressing the facts.

Calling women slags, bitches, gold diggers, graspers and inferring that they are all lazy (by not working) because they have the temerity to expect a financial contribution to the children they gave birth to during a relationship is HORRIBLE and I DO genuinely worry that you are passing these opinions and beliefs onto a nother generation of women.

If one of your daughters has children and is then left high and dry by the father then I sincerely hope that you won't castigate her should she seek some financial assistance. I certainly doubt you would call her the names you have called other such women on this thread. (Well, I hopew you wouldn't)

NotaDisneyMum · 30/10/2012 11:53

nicky your very first post on this thread refers to a woman raising her DCs as an ex bitch, and suggests that she can sit and spin.

It's not surprising that people consider your advice confrontational and aggressive Confused

ShirleyRots · 30/10/2012 12:00

Oh and as an interesting aside, NADM and I RARELY agree on the subject of maintenance (this is not meant as a dig NADM, I'm sure you agree with me on this point! Wink) but nicky's posts are so extreme it's actually shocking.

PickledFanjoCat · 30/10/2012 12:01

And saying they all go to rincing college!

How you can come on here this morning and act all affronted is a bit beyond me to be honest.

MrsjREwing · 30/10/2012 12:06

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

nicky2012 · 30/10/2012 12:07

and i said S O M E women!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! not all again leave my children out of this.
you havnt met her! she calles herself miss bitch! 6 kids all different dads csa for all of them classy isnt she. and its nothing i havnt said to her face. for 6 yrs he was not allowed to have ANY contact with the child but i handed over my money that she was more than happy to take. i can understand her not wanting another woman having a mum role, i have NEVER tried to do this ever. so yes this has clouded MY view of csa

IneedAsockamnesty · 30/10/2012 12:08

nicky

you jumped on and in your first post started with the my partners exbitch.

thats the sort of thing fairly likly to put peoples backs up, she is the mother of his child/children obviously they are no longer togather but refering to the mother of your step child/children as the exbitch is childish offensive and pathetic.

you then made a comment about most women with 50 50 care abuse the csa - compleatly forgetting that the csa reduce payable maintainance for nrp's dependant on how many nights they have the child/children for.

you then made a few coments about how if its a womans choice to have a baby she should pay or it thus implying that if she uses the csa shes a scrounger.

several of the rinse a bloke gold digger coments - that were most certainly not clearly aimed at one person (the one you know) and to most people reading them looked very much like you were refering to the people who had posted on the thread,or csa claiments in genral.ou

at no time have you given any actual real factual constructive information regading csa or child maintainance you made a attempt to do so but your info was actually incorrect.

a poster kindly attempted to provide you with some real information regarding births in a fairly obviously attempt to furnish you with info that provided insight into the distinct lack of sperm theft related births by gold diggers just attempting to abuse and steal from nrp's. but you attempted to rip that apart (extreamly badly must try harder next time)

you consistantly implyed that posters who use csa either didnt support there own children - incidently would it surprise you to learn that the vast majority of csa claiments recive either nothing or the £5pw current minimum assesment.

or they didnt work i belive that going by dwp's figures more lone parents are in work than not.

and that women use csa to punish men, you do know the csa only take 15% for 1 kid dont you?

how is it punishment to pay a set reasonable % of your income that is reduced to reflect how many nights you have your child to stay then further reduced if you have other children residing with you and can be further reduced if you have to travel a significant distance to collect your kids and will change every time your income does?

its only punishment if you dont want to pay the % that gets reduced to accomadate your circumstances, towards the maintaining of children that you produced before you started a new life - that does not make you a victim of pwc/csa punishment it makes you a feckless irrisponsable twat.

anklebitersmum · 30/10/2012 12:08
Blush
anklebitersmum · 30/10/2012 12:13

ahem, actually they don't reduce for collection, only for travel for visiting purposes. Collection is up to the NRP to fund regardless (unless a court order says different, but then it's not CSA who reduce).

ShirleyRots · 30/10/2012 12:14

It's a shame your posts have been deleted Nicky. I would have liked all of the bile you spurted out to be visible to all who may read this thread and think you are being treated "badly"

nicky2012 · 30/10/2012 12:16

kindly? are we reading the same posts! my laptop must be broken.....

nicky2012 · 30/10/2012 12:20

yes its funny how my posts have been reported isnt it...

PickledFanjoCat · 30/10/2012 12:20

Bet is was that skanky slag EXBITCH whore mother bitch fucker pants.

ShirleyRots · 30/10/2012 12:23

I reported one because I wondered if you were a troll. Unfortunately it appears that it broke guidelines so it got deleted. Sad

I rather wish they had all remained, it makes it so much easier to deny what you said when the evidence has gone POOF!

nicky2012 · 30/10/2012 12:24

oh and i dont smoke never have its disgusting! i have mid length blond hair im 5'4 size 8 and 34c bust i only wear a suit to meetings at the bank an i do not stick my middle finger up anyone's anus anyting els?

IneedAsockamnesty · 30/10/2012 12:28

ankle all travel expenses incured as a direct result of contact visits can be concidered in a csa variation and will be taken into account if they are of significant nature and its just and equitable to do so

picking up a child could also be called collecting a child they do not differentiate between costs incured picking up or dropping off. how ever you refer to it they are still costs incured.

but its only the nrp who can ask for this to be taken into account if a pwc funds/does the travel they cannot have there maintainance increased because of that.

nicky2012 · 30/10/2012 12:33

i have never tried to deny what i have said. its you lot that have got the pitch forks out caus you dont like my opions. never said you have to like them or even agree

WkdSM · 30/10/2012 12:34

The OP seems to have gone away - I hope she managed to gleen some useful advice before she went.

Nicky - I understand your frustration with your DP's ex (similar in many ways to my own as I also paid maintenance when DH was unemployed) - but you are really making yourself look like a very unreasonable person on this forum.

I also can't understand why you would not want your DDs to have money from their father. Even if you morally chose not to use it on a monthly basis, you could put it away fro them so that they had some money for uni / buy a house / blow on wine, men and song when they were older. There is no shame in accepting that both parents have a financial, moral and emotional responsibility to the children.

nicky2012 · 30/10/2012 12:37

ankle id stay quiet it looks like they have started to set sights on you! anything you do say that they dont like or agree with will be taken twisted and used to try and beat you round the head with......