Help.......... Ex related CSA and extra payments......

[Reginaphalangey]

Can anyone offer me some advice please........

I have no biological kids of my own (yet) but My wonderful partner of 6months has a 4yr old child from a previous marriage,

His ex left him, and since the split he has had 50% custody of the child and has faithfully paid monthly amounts over half extra to the amount required of him by law through the CSA......

His ex however is challenging him that he does not contribute enough...... And over and above him paying extra to her per month, she now expects him to pay half of all extra curricular activities!!!

To me this seems unreasonable, and that she will continue to want more and more from him.....
But my querie is, what do the child support payments cover, and can anyone else offer their opinion on my dilemma??

Should he drop back to paying only the required monthly amount??? And should she be demanding any extra above the figure given by the CSA???

Thanks for reading

Pleased to meet you Nicky! I'm a jealous, bitter, sour faced slag who chose to use the CSA at my exH request in order to ensure that the people to whom he owed money left him with enough each month to contribute towards our DDs needs. We were married for 12 years and planned her conception together

How does that for with your facts

I'm a right slag.

I have a sweet face though.

Nicky - you are OP, ad male I take it?

erm notadisneymum why dont u jump off the band waggon for a mo, 1 did i call YOU that no, no i didnt. 2 i said MOST as some women sleep around and presume the last fella she opend her legs to IS the daddy.
i didnt say women in who wer married and planned a babby with partner did i? dont think so!!

Out of interest, how much do you spend per month on your children Nicky and how much do you earn? I am very interested to see how a single mum manages child care, food, nappy/healthcare/activities/toys/clothes without financial help, being a single mother myself.It sounds as if you have more than one child? Is that correct?

"stats show that 1 in 6 fathers having dna testing turn out not to be the father?"

So out of all the men trying to get out of coughing up for the upbringing of a child by getting a DNA test hoping to have their responsibility taken away from them . . . only a sixth of them actually have any grounds for attempting this.

Are you a member of Fathers for Justice by any chance?

my finances are between me my accountant and the tax office, i am a mum of 2. i own my own buisness and my girls want for nothing, all provided for by ME! its not a case of men trying to get out of paying its a case of, and i repet my self SOME mothers trying to screw money out of a man they may not be 100% is the dad! and no not a member of FFJ.

nicky what proportion of CSA cases relate to formally married couples? I'm genuinely interested because all of the RP (men and women) I know who are using the CSA were married to the NRP at some point - I don't think I've met one who fits the description you've given and yet you say that most CSA cases are like that? Do I live a very sheltered life?

It must be possible to find out how many CSA cases are between divorced spouses, isn't it?

Regina,

Is it a bit of a fuzzy subject - but it sounds like she is getting more than her fair share!
I am a jealous slag who had two beautiful and fully planned DCs with exH who now pays fuck all towards his boys who he claims to love!!
My DP pays voluntarily toward his exP and she gets more than what she would get through the CSA although she seems to threaten him with it constantly
The amount paid depends on the number of nights the children spend with their father, whether he lives with other dependants and how much he earns. What the mother then uses said payment for really has no consequence to the father - the money is paid normally directly into her bank account and then she can use it as she likes! Think this is what men get arsey about but everything that comes out my bank account benefits my kids whether its bills, food, clothing, extra curricular activities!
Whether the dad then wants to contribute up and beyond the CSA payment really is up to the father - she cannot demand it not can she say he can't see the kids etc as he is paying what he has to by law. However, my guess is a decent father who wants the best for his kids would help directly in this way for his kids sake.
I understand your frustrations because she is already receiving more than she would get through CSA alone ..... Maybe try and get something formal in place so that neither party can change?
I don't know! It's hard but really she can't demand more money from him willy nilly.
Oh, it doesn't matter that she may live with someone else who earns well - the payment is to do with the affordability of the father and has nothing to do with what the mother earns or any partner earns.
HtH

im unsure, tune into the jeremy kyle show they appear on there all the time dont they?

My advice OP is to a) but out or b) go find a childless man HTH.

tune into the Jeremy Kyle show

nicky I would, but like most people I don't have a TV, so can't

The CSA should cover everything. Simple as that. If she wants money that your partner can't afford then he has to 'man up' and say no I'm afraid.

As a grasping CSA using Mum and the wife of a man with a now CSA ex the only real advice I can offer you is to leave it up to him to deal with her.
Trust me you do not want to be seen to be even a little bit involved with how/what he says and does.

In my case hubby's ex 'threatened' CSA when he refused to give her yet more 'extra' money and he called her bluff. But it was his decision.

shirleyrots- this has no relation to csa! only registerd births also it is a bit impossible to get csa from a dead parent? as this is in the 49%, if this i your idea of education then id think again b4 trying to get a teaching job....

Isn't it illegal not to register a birth ?

op.

the csa works out maintainance by starting with what the nrp earns working out his liability, reducing it based on how many nights a year he has dc they also take into acc minor dependants resident with him.

what you are left with is the apsolute minimum he should pay,if he pays less than that he can end up with enforcement issues.

however there is nothing at all stopping him paying more and that is compleatly his choice.

she can ask for more,but he is under no obligation to pay more. if he is paying more it would be in her intrests not to get funny with him

even if you live with him i wouldnt advise getting into a discussion about it other than being a sounding board,for a few reasons

1. its a very emotive subject
2. if he thinks you have advised a course of action that goes wrong it will in his mind be your fault.

also his ex's financial or relationship status is nothing at all to do with it.
and anything paid by him to her for maintainance instantly becomes hers and as such naff all to do with him how its spent.

but if he gives her additional funds that she has asked for as a contribution towards xyz then she should make sure xyz is funded (i.e not be lying about what it is for)

what? no tv? even with csa gasp! i WONT go to csa and i can afford a tv AND sky..... maybe thats just caus i work to earn my money eh?

and sorry to bring your comment into it anklebitersmum but you have just proven part of my argument! your hubbys ex usin csa as a threat caus she cudnt get more money!!!

I don't think it's anything to do with you actually.

If you're really wanting to cut payments you could always get up the duff yourself that'll soon cut the payments and show his grasping ex what's what! How about it?

csa3 due to be inforce 2013-2014, you claim csa then get a new partner whos ex makes a claim for csa upto 50% of wtc and ALL of ctc IS taken into account when calculating payments due from nrp would you be happy with money ment for your kids being used for somone elses csa? be funny too see how many of you are still happy with the service then!.....oh as well as paying £20 fee and 7%-12% of payment recieved by nrp.

you live in a very small world nicky.

actually nicky if your partner is named on a joint tax credit claim they can take that into account under the current rules.