emmsys angels xxx support for mummies of lost angels xxx

[EisAHandbagaHolic]

hi ladies
well i think its about time we had somewhere where we can all come to reflect on our lost angels and help us to move on towards the future and support eachother through the bumps in the road in the meantime
love and hugs to you all
{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}
xx ei xx

curly - yep, I think that if I ever do get another bfp, then my excitement will be somewhat muted (oxymoron?) but what gets me is how will it be possible to trust one's pg symptoms? With my ds, I had no sickness or any of the usual stuff but as he was my first, I didn't know any different; with my dd, I was vomiting on and off right up until my 17th week. With my mmc, I had no vomiting but did have tiredness and an elevated sense of smell BUT these symptoms declined after 8wks....and I just thought it would be another ds. So, short of having a scan every week (day?), then I guess there's really not a lot one can do, sadly, but wait..and hope.

However, I would ask my midwife to send me for an 8wk scan - but I do realise that mc can still happen even if all is well at such a scan .

I would not tell anyone in RL that I was pg before 12wks.

ScamperT thanks for thinking of me. Good luck TTC...I'm sure it will happen for you! Might not be the right time to tell you that I'm baking a cake right now

VM sory didnt mean to make you cry, but you're right, simple things like changing nappies etc meant so so much to me. I texted my SIL to thank her for letting me do that yesterday n also admitted to her how worried i was about meeting her n lil one yesterday. I'm also going to hit the shops to find your book! Do they sell it in Books etc? or WH Smith??

barbie1 sorry to hear about what happened to you today. I constantly dream that my lost angel was a boy, and then i wake up, and the sadness hits me all over again :-( I now am forever thinking that my next pg will be a girl, have no idea why

Jonesy68 sorry you've had to join us, but the ladies on this thread are truly wonderful, and will help you get through these dark times, i'm sure

Curlywurlee it turned out OK with my friend in the end, I always stress about these things. She didnt mention the MC, but I didnt either. She didnt even talk about her own pregnancy but people kept on coming over to ask her how she was, how long she has left at work, etc, at which point I would turn away and not join the subject ( feel so mean thinking about it now!). Think I will email her tomorrow to thank her for not mentioning anything about the MC. Its funny, because I dont mind talking about MC with any1 else, but not her, maybe because she pg

I'm going through a major merger at work and lots of redundancies and restructures going on, so I may be out of a job come april, which puts a spanner in the works of ttc...i really dont want to wait beyond jan....

sending hugs and waves to everyone else xxx

phew vm i turned off the computer for a while because i was so ashamed at outting you! Im glad though that it has worked out and that everyone is as excited about your book as much as i am!

Girls if i get another bfp i think i will piss you all off drive you all crazy with my constant worrying. I knew from day one of my last pregnancy that something wasnt right but next time i will be looking for things

If im still in the uk, i will push for a 8 week scan and do nothing but lie on the sofa for the full 40 weeks!

Hi everyone, you have been busy tonight girls.

Regards to dealing with preg next time round another mumsnetter called early scans double edged swords and that it exactly what they are. On one hand if the outcome of the scan is good then they put you mind at ease, but never for long. On the other hand it does stop you getting such a shock at your dating scan. With my last mc I got scanned about 5 times from around 5 1/2 weeks, none of the scans were reassuring and we would be worrying and hoping that next week would be better, this went on for another 6 weeks and was mental torture but it did stop us finding out at 12 weeks and gave us time to mentally prepare for the worst. Even so weighing up the balance I would probably still have an early scan again.

barbie you sound much happier than earlier, guess we will be spending a little less time on here when we all get our books delivered.

vm will defo order the book tomorrow, you have actually inspired me to read again which I haven't felt like doing since my first mc, thank you. You are our very own thread celeb.......and don't dare be embarrassed you have lifted the mood of this thread and put a lot of smiles on faces tonight, told you that you were a special lady.

jonesy68 Sorry I didn't get much time to post earlier, so sorry for what has brought you to us but you are already finding out how much support it can be. You were pregnant and nothing can change that and now you are feeling exactly the same sad emotions we all understand. I don't know how I would have coped this time without all my friends (and that is how I now see you all) on here so keep chating and hopefully we can help.BTW the necklace for your friend sounds perfect.

curly glad it is all over hun and love the idea of the paintings, they sound beautiful and would be a fitting way to remember.

circular I found out that symptons are not to be trusted, this mc I had exactly the same sypmtons as when I was preg with dd, this gave me a bit more confidence this time which ultimately proved to be premature.

vicky I thought of a ring also, I guess I am still working out exactly how I want to remember.

Waves to everyone else mollie sabs 4ever scamper and anyone I have missed.

barbie can't wait till your driving us crazy after you BFP.

villagemum, I've just ordered your book and I'm really looking forward to reading it (no pressure!! )

Amazing review on Amazon btw

right vm if you would submit my 10% fee for promoting you book into my bank i would be most grateful Right off to waterstones to arrange vm next book signing....

I think we'll all be complete worry-beans when we're nxt BFP it's going to be only natural. After my MC in June when it all felt so wrong - I was maxed out and stressed out at work, arguing with DP at home, lots of social stuff (tiring), exercising too much and running a lot - felt I knew it was all wrong from the start - and everywhere I looked I read someething about miscarriage - and then it did go wrong, like a self fulfilling prophecy. But this time it all felt right. I stopped all exercise, cut out all alcohol and caffeine, relaxed at work, relaxed at home, all loving with DP and DS - general harmony (well as much as RL can be!) but still it went wrong. I guess if it's gonna happen it's gonna happen.

Also, I too had hardly any sick feelings or PG symptoms with DS in 1st trimester and felt more this time around so, hey, who knows?!

I am still also incredibly grateful for the DS I do have. One of my very dearest friends who is an Ozzy and lives in Oz too, was trying for a baby with her DH for years, had numerous IVF but all to no avail. Now 45, she has been given custody of her beloved 8 yr old nephew as her sister is an alcoholic unable to care for him, and my friend has now seen that this was what was meant for her and her nephew so needs her and her DH. Stuff happens for a reason huh? They have proven to be angels for eachother. He has been through a lot of bad stuff in his young life and so has she - both need eachother in very different ways, but equally importantly.

This MMC lark has made me very contemplative and philosophical.... ...

OK, DP still watching Desperate Housewives so I'm going to bed now x

oh hang on...,,>> vm i have boarders on the phone they want you in southampton next wednesday.........

lol, right everyone im finally off to bed, early start again in the morning, sweet dreams everyone mm dont work too hard xxxx

Jonesy and Circular, I thinks it a cunning plan. Definitely won't tell anyone in RL in first trimester - so it is great to think that I have you girls to bore to death with every detail, and I'm looking forward to hearing every little detail from everyone else! I reckon we'll all be over-analysing and second-guessing every symptom - especially if it could be different every time.

MM, I'm so sorry it went on so long for you and I totally see what you mean. I think I will go for an early scan just in case I get another missed miscarriage and then if all is ok at that point, I can start worrying about everything (and I mean EVERYTHING!) else from there.

Sabs, you're so not mean, it sounds like you handled it really well

'Night everyone - this codamol is working wonders - I can see why they warn about addiction

barbie, if you ever want a change from Dubai I'm happy to sign you up as my new agent! You have cheered me up a whole lot this evening... OMG, I think I may even do some writing tomorrow (instead of moping!)

Jonesey, Thanks for your kind words! I also love Perfume...

Sabs, don't worry about making me cry; everything triggers tears at the moment: the US elections, the post being late... You obviously have really good relationships with your family, and it sounds as if you handled your friend very calmly. Sorry to hear about your coming redundancy, but maybe it will be a good time for new beginnings in many different ways?

Curly, Circular, Jonesey and of course my dear mm, I've also wondered (ie totally obsessed) about how I'd handle a future pg. I desperately want to avoid another late scan shock so on balance I think I'd go for the early scans. There's just no final guarantee of any kind, is there? We'll simply have to go through it and take it stage by stage, even if panicking all the way. Jonesey and Circular, I found your comparison of your pgs really interesting: just shows you, one can't know or predict how they will turn out, and morning sickness or other symptoms (or the absence of them) aren't really a guide. Oh and I think 'tell no one in RL for the first 12 weeks' is very good self protection!

OK, bed now! Thanks for being there everyone.

Good morning ladies, I'm not sure about early scans, I had them in both of my last pg's and they both showed babies with heart beats, and the doctors telling me that's a good sign, then I went on to mc. I think the are good for mmc, but in my case I only believe they are good on the day. Sorry to sound so negative. On a positive note, my ds was writing his Christmas list to Santa last night, and I thought I would and 'worry free pregnancies for us all'

Good morning...! So pleased I joined this thread y'day. My DP was making fun of me about it last night but at least we laughed for the first time together in a few days so I'm grateful for that. It's been such a help and last night's mixed banter really lifted my spirits.

Have read back over some of the earlier parts of the thread and am coming to realise just how tenuous early life is. I wish I could fall pg and then just hibernate for 3 months while baby grows or doesn't. It's so hard not to be completely obsessed with it and the 6 or so weeks you have to go through just waiting and willing the days to pass is SO hard.

BTW I am and Emma (Em, Ems or Emsy to various friends) which was why I was drawn to this particular thread.... yay !

I also want to say that I carry some guilt (yes I know I shouldn't) for my DP who is to be 40 too in Feb (I was in July) and has no LO's at all yet. He is bewildered at the moment though he hides it. I am so very grateful for my DS and while they are close, it's not the same and I want more than anything to give him an LO of his own.

Jonesey, I like the idea of a big hibernation cave (lined with duvets and thermoses of soup?) for all women in the first trimester!

That does sound bliss!

There would be endless DVDs on a big flat screen telly of desperate housewives, friends, sex & the city, etc, a big swimming pool, a mahoosive library full of books and mags to read, an in-cave doctor on hand 24x7...ooohhh I could go on and on....!

... and a raft of laptops with a permanent Mumsnet connection ...

Afternoon ladies,

I love the idea of hibernation for early preg. It was the agony of the early weeks in my last preg that brought me to mumsnet, I been lurking around but not posting until then and it was reading about people going thru the same that started me chatting, I truely do believe that meeting all of you on here is the positive that came out of a terrible experience.

Just woke up after nightshift and that is me now off until Tues, plan on doing absolutely nothing for rest of the afternoon...............well for the next hour of so anyway.

Hi mm, maybe that's what we should call our ttc/antenatal thread - 'the ttc and early pregnancy hibernation cave'!

VM I like that!

Speaking of new threads - am I right in thinking that they are only up to 1000 messages then you have to create a new one? If so it's nearly there on this one....

Jonesey, yes, 999 posts is the limit per thread I think - you're right, nearly there! The girls were talking about maybe starting a ttc thread for those of us who feel ready, as well as a continuing emmsysangels thread for us all to pop back to when newbies come along.

Yes I thnk that's a good idea. We won't be ttc for about 3 mths I reckon but pretty sure will join that thread then - hopefully some of you will have started a new AN thread by that time tho hey!

Love it vm the name seems to have came naturally and is very appropriate. It really is amazing the amount of chatting we get up to. Even though we aren't ttc atm will still be joining in on all the chat!!!!

vm - yep, good name for the new thread, which I will join too!! Things are getting exciting!

Hope you're all feeling OK today and great that you've got a long weekend ahead of you mm, time to relax hopefully!

Not much new with me, just the usual steam, swim and sauna to dry off!

well hello!

Loving the new name for our thread, yep cave sounds good to me...prehapes we could hire brad pitt and a few other guys to bring us food and entertainment

jonesy i wont be ttc until about feb anyway so you wont be left behind, ill still be between the two threads and im sure we will all be!

vm spent the best part of my break in whsmith trying to see if they stock your book, i wanted to get a head start on the reading and just wanted to see if you had a picture of yourself on the cover? I was really proud that you had written a book, even though i couldnt find it in there! I went up to the till and asked for it!! ha ha they said they didnt stock it but would order me in a copy if i wanted.....ill be searching another store tomorrow

hi mm and circular and anyone else lurking tonight.

Period has gone awol again not sure what is going on but i wish the bloody cramps would go awol too!