Missed miscarriage

[Armdjm]

Hello, I am just looking for any advice (preferably from NHS experience) as I know no one who has gone through this to ask.

I am 9 1/2 weeks pregnant, had a private scan yesterday which confirmed heart stopped at 6+4. I had a gut feeling (hence the scan) I can’t explain why as I still have all my symptoms.

I rang my local unit and went today for a scan who again confirmed the same as the private scan but are making us go back in 14 days for a re scan before I can have any medical management.

it just feels cruel and I have so many worries.
Will it happen naturally when it stopped so long ago?
can I end up with an infection with it just left there?
Will the NHS offer surgical management over tablets?

I just feel tortured

thank you to anyone who has read this!

Hi everyone,

Many apologies for my very late reply, I did read you all once I received them and I felt immediate strenght, good vibes and empathy from all of you. I have been quite overwhelemed by emotions and physical sensations in the past week and I am now taking time to stop and thank you all for taking the time to read me and to support a stranger. I feel so honoured to be embraced by you all.

As an update, I had my miscarriage yesterday/today. It ended up happening naturally, I was meant to go tomorrow for the first medication and have it in the hospital on Tuesday. I had decided on doing it in the ward because after going to the GP and having a full blood test it turns out my blood levels where quite low and I got scared I would bleed out. I didnt know that pregnancy blood levels can be lower, but mine where quite low. I started taking spatone (liquid iron) as per instructions of a midwife (I joined a club called bloom club on IG, and they have been amazing) and started feeling so much more energized and less dizzy immediately. I will continue to take it for a few weeks until my levels replenish.

I dont think anything can prepare you for a miscarriage, I felt and saw things coming out of me that I never could have imagined. It was incredibly painful emotionally and physically. (Happy to share more of this via PM if anybody now or in the future is interested or wants to ask questions.) I am glad it happened at home, even if it was horrific there were moments of such tenderness between us that despite what was going on I will cherish.

I dont think I am done crying or griefing over this and I think it will take more time. We are taking some of the remains to the hospital tomorrow, they take them and plant them at an arboretum. We thought that was a nice way to honour this situation.

I want to thank each of you for sharing your story. I truly wish you all the best, you are kind souls that deserve all the light in the world. :)

@TruthUnwinding congrats on pregnancy and thank you so much. Thanks also for the tip of the fertility suite, I will look into it furhter along. I hope you and baby are doing great! x

@KT199 Thanks so much for all the tips, I have now contacted tommys and found it useful. I have also been chatting with a midwife someone recommended and she has been an angel, really supportive and tells me much more than what they have told me at the clinic or GP. Thank you also for opening up you inbox :) please know that mine is open too. x

@Armdjm Thank you so much and thank you so much for opening up this thread and for continuing being here. Its so beautiful to hear about baby Grace, your story makes me really happy. Congratulations and also lovely name for the baby! I know what you mean, I felt real connection with all of you more so than taking to friends who havent gone through it. Thank you for opening up your inbox too! x

@Sunshine8537 thank you so much, i felt your love and strenght with me this week! Congratulations on your pregnancy, I love this. Sending you and the baby lots of light!!! x

@SureLook thank you so much for opening up your story and your inbox. I know, I agree that the body wanted it so much and was prepared to take care of it so beautifully. x

@Readingrainbow6 it's great to hear an update from you. I found being at home for my second loss was actually quite nice. It was lovely to be in my home comforts with everything I needed to hand. Did the clinic advise you to test negative within 2/3 weeks? Sometimes there can be retained tissue.
Your emotions will be all over the place for the next while. Now is the time to be good to yourself. Take time off work, try and eat well and drink water, shower every day and get out in the fresh air for a walk. On some days I found that hard but it really did help me when I did it. Reach out here any time and lean on whatever support you have x

Just got back from the EUP. Yeah they said 2-3 weeks I’ll be bleeding and sometimes with cramping. I’m still a bit crampy despite taking painkillers. I hope when I take the next test it will be negative. It’s weird now wanting a test to be negative.

good idea on showering, walk, etc everyday. Specially since I won’t be working it will be good to get a little routine to feel a bit better.

I feel a bit numb emotionally at the moment. I guess it’s normal and it’s probably because I’m exhausted too.

thanks again @SureLook 🫶 hope you are having a lovely restful Sunday x

@Readingrainbow6 did they scan you at the EPU? They told me I should test negative within two weeks after my D&C and three weeks after the medical management. It does take some time for the HCG levels to go down.
Yeah, I was exhausted after it was all over. I think you hold in some tension and then release it when it's over. Thanks very much. Mind yourself x

No they didn’t! The midwife I had spoke to said that they should but at my trust they only scan it within three weeks I test positive. Will have to wait.

Thanks xx

Thank you for updating us on your experience, its good to hear the hospital have a place for you in the arboretum. Sending lots of love and best wishes for the next few weeks.

I remember the bleeding for a few weeks after and I did find that after long walks I bled more, so it's worth bearing that in mind. I think it's a good thing ultimately as helps you to heal, but can be a bit disturbing if you don't know. Lots of hot water bottles, painkillers and treats I think are in order now <3 xx

Oh that’s good to know, about the long walks and bleeding. I feel like it’s slowed downed now a bit but was planning on starting to go for walks today as I have been quite idle for days.

thank you :) I read treats and thought YES definitely! Xx

@Readingrainbow6 I hope you’re still looking after yourself and have had lots of treats. (For some reason I pretty much ate only brownies for a month after mine?)

Make sure you take enough time off work. The grief and the hormone swings are wild and I was physically ok well before I was actually ok. Even now I kind of wish I’d taken longer off and not forced myself to go back after three weeks.

Long walks are a really good idea! I don’t know where you live but I found distracting myself with nature really helpful. I became a bit obsessed with trying to learn how to identify birds by their songs using the Merlin app 😂 and also with learning to name wildflowers using Flora Incognito.

Oh I can definitely see how the swings between thinking I’m doing ok or better and then full on griefing are real. Glad i can rest and focus on getting better.

oh i love that idea, ill look up those apps. I have to say that long walks for me at the moment are hard. I hadn’t move much during the weeks I was pregnant due to sickness and then due to the low blood count. Yesterday I did a walk I had done before but it took me twice the amount of time and I didn’t even do it all. Little by little. Buuut looking at plants and flowers and listening to birds sounds like a good distraction.

hope you have a lovely evening! X

That is so nice. I also have the Merlin App and identify plants, and it has brought me comfort during hard times. If it is harder to walk / feel well as you walk @Readingrainbow6 , this could be a good option for when you need to stop/sit. Sending love for your recovery.

Hi all. I thought I'd come back to this thread with another update. I had my MMC in January followed by a blighted ovum in June. I am delighted to share that I am now 14 weeks pregnant with my second baby girl. We've had lots of scans and had the NIPT done and everything is looking great. I just want to share this to give some hope and positivity to anyone on/reading the thread as I know how much it helped me x

Fingers crossed all continues to go well for you ❤️

Amazing news. I am so pleased for you 🫶 I hope you have a lovely smooth pregnancy from here on out! How have you faired so far? X

Amazing! What a wonderful end to the year! Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy 🩷

Awww congratulations @SureLook !!!! Sending you and your baby girl a lot of good vibes 🙌🏽💕

@Moosey898 thank you!

@KT199 thank you! I've been quite nauseous and tired. There's no second trimester glow or energy burst going on over here 😂

@Sunshine8537 thank you!

@Readingrainbow6 thank you!

I hope you're all doing OK x

Back to TTC again for the 6th attempt after losing our little girl at 22 weeks in September. Trying not to lose hope xx

@Moosey898 I'm so sorry to hear that. What a tough journey you've had. I'm always here if you need to talk ❤️

Congratulations! Me too (I’m 16 weeks). I think we might be even be in the April drinks group. ❤️❤️

@SureLook there was no glow for me until 17/18 weeks when the sickness ended 🤣!! Hopefully you seen it sooner than I did.

I’m good thank you - almost 34 weeks now so starting to think about the fact baby could arrive in a few weeks time which is crazy.

@Moosey898 gosh I’m so sorry there really are not words to help or make you feel better, but I hope you have been able to take time to process and recover and the hospital have been able to give you some answers.

@TruthUnwinding congratulations to you !!

@TruthUnwinding it is a great group 😉

@KT199 fingers crossed 🤞🏻😂 wow, nearly 34 weeks already! That's amazing. So exciting for you now!

Thank you I appreciate that. I really hope this is the one for you and you get to take your baby home. Xx

@KT199 thank you - I went in with spotting, they found I was 3-4cm dilated and did an emergency stitch that held, but my bloods showed a serious infection that was getting worse (even though I was on IV antibiotics) so they had to induce and deliver her to save me. It's been really traumatic and it's even worse that her death certificate says "termination of pregnancy". I don't know how to ever forgive myself x

Sending love , this sounds so difficult ❤️

Hi, I hope its ok to ask in here but I still blame myself about my miscarriage in July. I didn't know I was pregnant until 6 weeks. I had a scan at 6 weeks and 4 days at the epu and there was a heartbeat and then a week later 7 4 days and there was a heartbeat they suspected a molar pregnancy. I went back to the epu 10 days after and I should have been 9 weeks 1 and baby was still only showing 7 weeks 5 days and they said there was no heartbeat. They booked me in for d & c day after. I feel they were in a rush to book me in the day after I feel like they should have given me another scan just to double check, I always worry the baby may have been ok and they rushed me into it as I still had all the symptoms feeling sick etc xxx

Hi, I hope its ok to ask in here but I still blame myself about my miscarriage in July. I didn't know I was pregnant until 6 weeks. I had a scan at 6 weeks and 4 days at the epu and there was a heartbeat and then a week later 7 4 days and there was a heartbeat they suspected a molar pregnancy. I went back to the epu 10 days after and I should have been 9 weeks 1 and baby was still only showing 7 weeks 5 days and they said there was no heartbeat. They booked me in for d & c day after. I feel they were in a rush to book me in the day after I feel like they should have given me another scan just to double check, I always worry the baby may have been ok and they rushed me into it as I still had all the symptoms feeling sick etc xxx²