Missed miscarriage

[Armdjm]

Hello, I am just looking for any advice (preferably from NHS experience) as I know no one who has gone through this to ask.

I am 9 1/2 weeks pregnant, had a private scan yesterday which confirmed heart stopped at 6+4. I had a gut feeling (hence the scan) I can’t explain why as I still have all my symptoms.

I rang my local unit and went today for a scan who again confirmed the same as the private scan but are making us go back in 14 days for a re scan before I can have any medical management.

it just feels cruel and I have so many worries.
Will it happen naturally when it stopped so long ago?
can I end up with an infection with it just left there?
Will the NHS offer surgical management over tablets?

I just feel tortured

thank you to anyone who has read this!

Hi @InvisibleDragon
I entirely feeel your frustrations! I’m almost three weeks past medical management and my pregnancy tests are still positive. Am so so so so ready to close this chapter of my life and move on. Yet here I am, in limbo.

I’m sorry to hear about your hair falling out and milking coming in :( Mother Nature can be unbelievably cruel. Please feel free to vent away here! I’m sure I’m not the only one that understands how you are feeling.

@InvisibleDragon Ive also been trying to work out when I’ll get some normality back, I had an MVA last Tues with not a lot of bleeding, no pads needed after first couple of days then started again y’day.
I think it’s totally normal to feel the way you do especially with having a toddler to look after too.

Im sorry about the milk coming in and your hair falling out, sounds like you’re really going through it atm. Take time to look after yourself (as much as you can with a 2yo) and hopefully your body will recover soon.

Hormone wise, I’ve been a bit of a mess since the weekend, but again I think that’s expected after what we’ve all been through. I took a test today, first time since surgery and still testing positive which I expected. The positive, is that your tests are negative so hopefully you’re well on the way to feeling a bit more yourself soon xx

@TruthUnwinding

It's hard to go through just the one loss, but to hear you’ve had four is so sad. I’m fortunate enough to have children and I’m incredibly grateful, especially after conceiving quite easily. I cant even imagine what it’s like for you, but I’m glad to hear you’ve finally got some answers and can focus on navigating this journey with a different approach and you’ll hopefully get your baby safely in your arms one day 🥰

@InvisibleDragon sorry you’re still going through this! It took 6 weeks to the day for my period to come back after my spontaneous miscarriage. I’m annoyingly still testing extremely faintly positive here and there (maybe depending on the concentration of urine?) 9 weeks post but I believe I ovulated 4ish days ago according to bbt and lh (although lh is all over the place at the moment) so finally feel things are getting back to normality.
I completely understand just wanting to get back to normal! I’m looking ahead now to when I can get down to trying again without things being absolutely haywire. Hopefully November is a better one for us all!

I'm really sorry to hear about this, and the symptoms. I've also suffered hair loss, milk leakage and nail problems due to the reduction in hormones after a pregnancy loss. It really is a horrible experience to go through this after an already traumatic experience, but I hope it helps to know that it is relatively normal. <3

Since my MMC in July, I have also been taking Well Woman and now the Well Woman Conception capsules, I think they have helped me to feel physically better after the loss. Does anyone else take supplements post miscarriage? Maybe we can share tips!

@InvisibleDragon my period came back 6 weeks to the day of my surgery. My hormones leading up to that period were HORRENDOUS. I actually thought i must have been pregnant again. The mood swings, headaches I just felt horrendous. My hair definitely shed after my loss very similar to after my daughter. So sorry about all of the symptoms. I think waiting for that period is hard because I felt like that period was a step in the right direction.

@TruthUnwinding I take pregnacare the conceive ones which I started after my first period and I feel like these have helped me with my hair shedding.

I hope everyone is feeling okay as can be this week. I’m back on a month of nightshifts so expecting my cycle to LOVE that and be all over the place since it’s already a bit of a mess

I'm jumping on here in sympathy with others. I'm currently miscarrying at 6 weeks. I had a tfmr in January at 20 weeks (my son had T18) and had struggled getting pregnant afterwards (not helped by being 41 I'm sure). This is my second miscarriage (had a MMC at 12 weeks between my eldest daughter and son, as well as three chemical pregnancies). I feel so lucky to have my two amazing children but I does feel horribly unfair that something sh*tty has happened AGAIN.
At least this time it's earlier, and hopefully it won't take as long to get my cycle back to normal as after my MMC which took ages. And this time I never "felt" pregnant (no nausea, no achy boobs), and my test lines were faint, so I figured something must be up, but you still hope don't you?
@InvisibleDragon I feel for you, the milk thing is awful when you dont have a baby to make it worth it - I had that after my tfmr and it made me even more weepy than I already was.
@TruthUnwinding I started taking procieve last month. I'm sure it's a fluke but it was the first positive I've had since January. Apart from anything else I think it helps that it feels you're doing something at least. On that note, I might go back to accupuncture, is anyone else doing it? I had it about a year after my MMC when my cycle was still all over the shop, again, it might have been conincidental but within 4 months ish I concieved my son. My cycle was probably getting back to normal anyway, but it might have helped, and there is scientific evidence it works to some extent...
Anyway, that's probably enough for a first post, but look forward to reading more of all your posts to come, certainly helps me feel less alone.

OMG I'm sorry that you are currently having a miscarriage at 6 weeks, so soon after a very late TFMR. That is so much to deal with. I had a TFMR at 14 weeks in July 2023 and have had a few smaller losses since then, including a MMC in July 2024.

Thank you for letting me know about procieve, I am going to look into that. Have just googled it and it looks good! The vitamins can only make us feel better generally right?

I'd also like to try acupuncture but have never ever tried it. I have read about it being useful for fertility. Again it can only do good things, right?

I just made a post about my hormone test results here; https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/conception/5198953-hertility-results-high-prolactin-and-amh?reply=139424702

I think this might have been my issue and why I have had a MMC and chemical pregnancies, but I have a fertility meeting on Weds to discuss it further.

Can I just ask a quick question to those who had surgical management... I had mine on Thursday morning and aside from a little light spotting in the two hours straight after surgery, I haven't had any bleeding or spotting since (so far). Is this normal? From what I read and what they said in EPU, I expected period-type bleeding in the first few days and lasting up to two weeks...

Hey there! Just a quick question but I've finally tested negative for the first time today! How long was there between testing negative and having their first period after a miscarriage? Just trying to work out when it might come to be prepared!

@NSC1980 my bleeding was exactly the same. I thought it was strange but yeah I barely bled in the slightest. I bled really heavily on day 4 because I had some retained tissue but again once that had passed after a couple hours it went back to just very very light bleeding/spotting and I fully stopped bleeding on day 6!

@Jess1066 my period came 3 weeks after my negative test! 6 weeks after my surgery to the day.

@Jess1066 it took me 4 weeks to test neg then my period came at the end of that week

Hi everyone, apologies for my lack of interaction. Thank you @Confusedmermaid1 and @Armdjm for your timescales. I’m now more than 4 weeks post medical management and pregnancy tests are still positive. It’s getting very very slightly fainter each day but still definitely positive. I’m getting so disheartened that I cannot move past this. :( I don’t know whether to continue waiting or to opt for mva now. Has anyone had failed medical management and then gone on to have surgical/mva?

@Jess1066 hope you’re doing ok, and glad to hear you’re testing negative. Hope that is helping you to feel like it’s a step forward. If helpful, I tested negative just over 2 weeks after my MVA which felt quite quick. It was then another 6 and 1/2 weeks until I got my period back (so almost 9 from procedure). It felt like such a long time but was told it was normal! X

Hello everyone,

I have been reading this thread for a few days now and have decided to join as I think it will help me process my loss.

I had IVF in September after years of infertility, and was very lucky as I felt pregnant on the first cycle.
At the 7 week scan at the IVF clinic, there was a heartbeat but the embryo was measuring more than a week late, so they asked me to have another scan 2 weeks later. At this stage they told me there was nothing to worry about. In retrospect I wish they would have told me already about the potential risk of miscarriage.
I went for my 9 week scan on Friday, and there was no heartbeat, and the embryo had stopped developing at 7 weeks 5 days. This news completely destroyed me, it feels so unfair after years of infertility, especially knowing that this IVF cycle was our only NHS funded cycle.
I was just told by the IVF clinic to go home and wait for the miscarriage to happen, but wasn’t told about the different options. I have since done some research and want surgical management, as I honestly don’t think I can cope with going through the miscarriage at home.

I have ringed the EPU this morning and they need to re-scan me but unfortunately they don’t have availabilities for scan before next week. Fortunately, the lovely nurse at the fertility department of my local hospital managed to find a slot for a scan tomorrow, and the result can be shared with the EPU. The only issue is that this will be at the maternity department so I will be in the waiting room with all the pregnant ladies, I already know I will cry.

I just hope that they can schedule the surgery quickly because I am terrified of starting to miscarry before the surgery. I have awfully painful periods, so the thought of the miscarriage pain being worse than my standard period pain really scars me.
It is not reassuring to see that a lot of ladies had to go through a second scan at the EPU before the surgery. I feel like if I wait any longer the miscarriage will happen before the surgery at the baby stopped developing 2 weeks ago, but I don’t have any spotting for now so hopefully it means I still have a little bit of time.

@YellowTack i am so so sorry this has happened to you, especially after years of infertility and on your NHS funded IVF.

I was the same that I was terrified of it happening before the surgery. I got lots of cramps leading up to it but no spotting/bleeding and by the time of my surgery the baby had stopped developing 3-4 weeks previous. Hopefully it’s a bit different that your scans are through a fertility clinic. I had to have 2 scans at my EPU as they wouldn’t accept private scans but mine were just window to the womb private scans so hopefully fertility clinics is a bit different.

The day I went for my surgery I was alone going in as my husband was taking our daughter to nursery and as I walked in the waiting room there was a couple there for their c section so I understand the thoughts of being around pregnant women.

I can’t speak personally for you and everyone else, but for myself (again, I know it’s a different situation) it has got a lot easier with time. In that moment I thought I’d never move forward and never want to try again etc and those feelings slowly lifted over time.

sending you lots of love in this awful time!

I had to wait 14 days too. In the meantime I miscarried naturally, it was genuinely awful and I'm so sorry you are going through this.

@Armdjm thank you for your kind words and encouragement. Good to know your clinic needed 2 scans, it might be the same in my case as they have already said they can’t use the scans from the IVF clinic. It’s reassuring to know that for you it got easier with time, I am sure it will be the case for me too. At the moment I just want this to be over with.

@DCN I am really sorry you had to go through this, it is my bigger fear at the moment. I think I just have to prepare myself psychologically in case I can’t have the surgery.

@YellowTack I’m so sorry that you are going through this. It’s truly awful and I can only imagine being here after IVF is really painful. Thinking of you.

I know everyone is totally different but, if it helps, I had almost a full month from our first scan that showed a potential MMC to MVA and I didn’t miscarry naturally in that time. It could have been even longer as we never knew how early the foetus had stopped growing. I had bleeding throughout that time and a few false alarms but I made it through to the procedure. Hope that’s some comfort.

@Bellebg thank you so much for sharing your experience, this is really reassuring. I really hope I still have some time before things start naturally.

Thank you @Armdjm . I went for a gentle run yesterday (four days post surgery) and started bleeding after that, on and off for the rest of the day. Tiny bit of spotting today but think I'll wait until two weeks post-surgery to do any more runs/exercise as maybe that wasn't a good idea.

Got my period back at 5 weeks and 5.5 weeks with my previous losses so hoping that's the case this time too.

I managed to go to the EPU today after at least 10 phone calls yesterday. They wouldn’t accept the scan from my IVF clinic and didn’t have any availabilities for scans until next week, but fortunately because I was also followed for infertility at the same hospital the fertility team managed to fit me in for a scan. It meant I had to go to the maternity unit waiting for my scan with pregnant ladies all around me, but I was so grateful they managed to get me a scan that I was not even that upset.

I then went to the EPU and they were so understanding (much more than the receptionist I had on the phone that wouldn’t book me in), and I now have a D&C scheduled on Friday. I am really relieved and still haven’t started spotting, I just want this to be over with to start grieving.

Well, my period turned up at the end of last week. It was heavy but not drastically heavier than normal. So I guess my time from medical management to period was a bit over 5 weeks. Which is encouraging.

Now feeling weird about TTC again. Next hurdle to overcome I guess.

@YellowTack I'm so sorry for what you are going through. Good luck with your surgery on Friday!

Hi all,

Thank you for your good luck messages for my surgery on Friday. The surgery went fine but I didn’t expect to spend the entire day at the hospital. It felt really awkward being in a ward without much intimacy when they were talking about my miscarriage, I just wanted to hide. The doctor that went to see us initially was like “oh if I am not mistaken you already have one child”, I think they were trying to making us feel better but they should have said nothing as we don’t have any and we won’t unless we do IVF again.
The worst part was when they put the pessaries to dilate my cervix and made me wait 3 hours before going to the theatre, I was bleeding and in so much pain and they just offered paracetamol.
Once the surgery was done I felt much better and the nurses in the ward were so nice.
I have been recovering since but am I honestly feel fine, I am spotting but it’s not painful, way less worse than my standard period.

We did a little ceremony yesterday to say goodbye to our embryo and put the scans in a little box to help us move forward. I will take time but I think I am ready to start thinking about the next steps in my IVF journey.

Hi @Bellebg only recently found this thread but I actually came across your post a few days before my MVA with local anaesthetic a few weeks ago and it was sooo helpful! I too had a positive experience with MVA and wanted to say thank you - I am SO glad I read your post as I only was coming across negative experiences! May I ask when your period returned after your procedure? Thank you xxx

Hi @LimeStork, so glad it was helpful and so pleased to hear that you also had a positive experience. Hopefully the procedure itself being behind you is a better feeling!

I had a negative pregnancy test 16 days after the MVA and my period returned 6 weeks after that. From what I’ve read that’s on the longer side of things so could be a lot sooner!

Fingers crossed everything settles down for you quite quickly x