Missed miscarriage

[Armdjm]

Hello, I am just looking for any advice (preferably from NHS experience) as I know no one who has gone through this to ask.

I am 9 1/2 weeks pregnant, had a private scan yesterday which confirmed heart stopped at 6+4. I had a gut feeling (hence the scan) I can’t explain why as I still have all my symptoms.

I rang my local unit and went today for a scan who again confirmed the same as the private scan but are making us go back in 14 days for a re scan before I can have any medical management.

it just feels cruel and I have so many worries.
Will it happen naturally when it stopped so long ago?
can I end up with an infection with it just left there?
Will the NHS offer surgical management over tablets?

I just feel tortured

thank you to anyone who has read this!

I'm sorry @YellowTack , that sounds like a really upsetting interaction with the doctor. I hope your recovery continues to go smoothly!

@YellowTack im so sorry about the doctor! Glad you have had your surgery now and can hopefully start to feel back to normal.
I was dreading the pessaries as I read so much on the side effects but because I was on an emergency theatre list they said I would possibly not get them as they didn’t know really what time I was going down and in the end I didn’t get them!

I hope you don’t have too bad of a recovery, both physically and mentally. But we’re all here if needed

Hello. I'm really sorry to hear about your loss, especially after the journey you have already been through. I'm glad the surgery went well and that you were able to do a ceremony for your embryo.

It was totally inappropriate for them to talk about existing children. I would put in a complaint to be honest.

I just wanted to say that when I had my MMC, I have a pregnancy loss counsellor who used to be a pregnancy nurse and she said that any exercise can encourage the lining of the womb to shed. With that in mind, I think its normal for you to have bled after your run. I didn't run afterwards but I did build up to long walks in the week following, and had some painful cramps with period style bleeding. It is unpleasant, I hope you can take care of yourself. Leaving running for a few more weeks sounds like a good idea!

@TruthUnwinding , that's interesting. I wondered if it was something like that. Felt like a mistake running so soon so since then I've been mainly taking it easy apart from dog walks. Focus now is on building up a strong lining again.
That must have been really helpful having a pregnancy loss counsellor – hope it helped and that you're doing ok.

Thank you so much! It is all such a tough mental and physical process from start to finish, these seem like little milestones along the way to overcome.

I’ve caught up with this thread and I wanted to send my love to all you ladies on here, reading your stories has both broken my heart but also made me realise what a strong bunch of women we all are. Sending you all lots of love!

@Bellebg many congratulations on your 🌈 baby, such wonderful news and gives us all hope!
Could I ask how you processed this all mentally and allowed yourself to ‘relax’? With the first ever pregnancy being a miscarriage, I’m in the same boat and feel constantly anxious and worrying about if this will happen again and what a ‘normal’ pregnancy even feels like. Did you tell your family and friends earlier/later this time round as well?❤

thank you xx

Thank you, I was referred to the counsellor after my termination for medical reasons in July 2023 and subsequent losses. She has been so helpful, and I'm happy to share her wisdom when its appropriate! The dog walks sound like a good level of activity so soon after a loss. Funnily enough I haven't ran since 2020 (covid put me off) but I started recently again to 'reclaim my body' after the losses and it has really helped me mentally and physically. I hope you can return to your runs (safely) soon!

Thank you, it has been so helpful for us all and I am glad it has been helpful to you. How are you doing now?

@TruthUnwinding I used to do a lot of running but cut it right back on the suggestion of the nurse at the fertility clinic earlier this year... did some gentle runs with the first pregnancy but stopped immediately on getting a positive test with the other two (which clearly made no difference) – really miss it... as you say, it really helps physically and mentally. I'm glad you've 'found' it again.

In other news, yesterday I started bleeding fairly heavily – exactly two weeks post surgery. Also did a pregnancy test which is still showing a very strong line (hopefully will be testing negative and the bleeding will all settle by the three-week mark as that's when EPU said to call them).

Hope all is well with you.

Ah that is interesting. I have heard conflicting advice about this.

I have read a book (Fertile by Emma Cannon) which said to stop running. However, in my most recent pregnancy loss counsellor meeting, she said 'light running' can only be beneficial. It's hard to know what is best! I do other gentle forms of exercise but I enjoy running.

It’s now 9 days post my D&C surgery and I have finally stopped spotting. I think I will start exercising again tomorrow, I won’t do anything high impact for now but I will try to go back to strength training.

I feel so out of shape at the moment as I had to stop exercising during IVF, then I was finally at the point where I had a good routine again but had to stop again for the D&C.

I really want to feel fit and healthy before my next IVF cycle which will hopefully happen in January.

Good luck. I think that is a really good idea and i'm sure the endorphins will help!

I feel the same after my lost pregnancies! It's not a nice feeling. I will follow suit :)

Arghh! I've posted above having my surgical management for missed miscarriage three weeks ago. it all seemed to go well and I felt good afterwards... however, I did a pregnancy test yesterday and it was still positive so had a scan at EPU today only to find out there's tissue remaining and they want me to have a second surgical management.

They suggested surgery tomorrow but I'm booked on a morning flight to France with some friends – a trip I've been looking forward to for ages (particularly after such a rubbish few months). I told them this and they said it's not a problem to have the surgery on Tuesday, the day after I get back. They prescribed me some antibiotics to take to ward off infection.

I've been somehow managing to keep positive since the surgery but having to go back into EPU and finding myself back at square 1 tipped me over the edge and I cried all over the lovely nurses today. Now I'm questioning whether I should just have cancelled my trip and had the surgery tomorrow! I don't know how I'm going to enjoy it anyway with this hanging over me.

It's so frustrating as I chose surgical management because of its high success rates. Now, this new lot of surgery is going to be done almost four weeks after the first lot which is another four weeks before my cycle will get back to normal.

This was my third loss since February. A miscarriage, an ectopic then the missed miscarriage... this almost feels like a fourth loss! When will it end?!

Sorry – just needed a little rant! Hopefully will wake up tomorrow feeling more positive again.

@NSC1980 i am so so sorry I totally understand how you feel like it’s a complete new loss when you’re having to go through the process again!

I’m glad they have given you antibiotics to ward off any infection while you’re away. I think going to France still is the best option as you need it! If they felt like it was too risky and you should have the surgery asap they would have told you this! I’m so sorry.

I just wanted to let everyone know, whilst trying to be very sensitive as I know a lot of you are still going through the hardest part of this, I have just found out that I am pregnant 4 months after my surgery.

I just know I felt a lot of hope hearing of people getting pregnant again after their MMC so wanted to just add another little bit of positivity on this thread. It’s still very early days so I’m trying to be positive but cautious!

@NSC1980 sorry this is dragging on for you, I hope you’re able to enjoy your trip.

@Armdjm congratulations! Wishing you a healthy pregnancy 🤍

I’ve had an up and down week, booked a phone consultation with my GP due to my cycles still being short following the MMC and ended that phone call feeling really positive as I was expecting to be fobbed off, he asked me to come in for an examination and bloods to check thyroid as I’ve been having spotting from around 6/7dpo

Went in today and he said sorry to have brought you in but I’ve spoken to a colleague (I think the NHS website tbh) and he’s said 21 days is a ‘normal cycle’ (which might be the case but it certainly isn’t normal for me) and that unless I have another MC they can’t do additional testing.. feeling deflated 🤷🏻‍♀️

@Confusedmermaid1 thank you so much!

That is so frustrating, it may be normal for some people but it’s not normal for you and they should acknowledge that.

I don’t know if it’s something you have looked into but I was going to give it 6 months after my surgery to see if my cycles went back to normal/got pregnant and if not I was going to look into a private fertility scan just more so to see what’s going on since surgery. I know my local window to the womb now do them. Mind I never looked into it far enough to even know what they cost!

@Armdjm I think I’m going to start with hertility, I’ve heard good reviews! you have to do it at a certain point in your cycle I think and I only ever think about it when I’m on my period which is then too late for that cycle 😬 If nothing comes from that then I’ll definitely look into a scan, we went to window to the womb for our scan so I’ll check if they do them here too, don’t mind paying if I can get some answers

oh big congratulations, this is lovely news. I hope you're feeling well and that the rest of the pregnancy goes smoothly. Hope for all of us x

@TruthUnwinding Definitely has made me feel less alone and not ‘judged’ for all the thoughts/questions that I think of! Today marks a month since my MVA and I think I am doing ‘okay’? Feeling more like myself lately but drift into moments of wait what just happened? was this all a dream? 🙃

I am in the long wait for my period to return which is feeling like forever!!

how are you doing?

@NSC1980 I am so sorry to hear this. I know it is not what you would have expected but like said above, if you were at risk I am sure they would have mentioned for you to have it sooner. You totally need that break and I really hope you have the best time! Keep us posted, sending lots of hugs!

@Armdjm that is wonderful news!! thank you for sharing with us, gives us all so much hope! wishing you a peaceful and safe rest of the pregnancy! 🌈🤍

Congratulations @Armdjm that's lovely news - I hope the rest of the pregnancy goes smoothly!

@Armdjm congratulations! Thank you for sharing. It gives me a glimmer of hope that that there any still be a happy ending once this nightmare is over.

Thank you everyone for your kind words!
It is still extremely early days so trying to be optimistic. We’ve decided against telling family/friends/work until possibly Christmas time or after as I don’t know why but i feel like once everyone knows it feels more pressure for things to not go wrong so we’re just going to live in this little bubble for now!

@NSC1980 I'm so sorry to hear this. It is horrible trying to get your body to just do what it's suposed to, and it feels like everything takes forever when you just want to get back to normal and move on. I hope you have a lovely time in France and that you can, for those few days, just put it to the back of your mind.

@Armdjm congratulations, we all having everything crossed for you. Hope the morning sickness isn't too bad!

@YellowTack and @TruthUnwinding Hope the exercising is helpful, it's definitely something I turn to to help me tune into my body and try and get it as ready as possible to concieve. I'm also going back to healthy eating and doing some of the recipes out of Emma Cannon's 'Fertile' book. I'm getting paranoid about my age and my eggs degrading.

On that, I've looked into the Hertility that you mentioned @TruthUnwinding and see that @Confusedmermaid1 is also planning on doing it. Has anyone else done it? I get that it would be useful if you think there might be some inbalances in hormones, but actually my cycle seems back to normal relatively quickly...I ovulated a week later than I would normally have expected. The one thing that could be helpful is knowing my AMH, but I'm not sure that I want to know if it's really low and it'll make me more stressed that time is running out (I'm 41). What were everyone else reasoning for doing the test?

Congratulations! I am so pleased for you, thats 2 of you now (that have posted)! I am hopeful that I can join you both soon too, and sharing your news has definitely made me feel more hopeful. I'm gonna share my journey in the next post as @HFH40 has mentioned about Hertility.