Missed miscarriage

[Armdjm]

Hello, I am just looking for any advice (preferably from NHS experience) as I know no one who has gone through this to ask.

I am 9 1/2 weeks pregnant, had a private scan yesterday which confirmed heart stopped at 6+4. I had a gut feeling (hence the scan) I can’t explain why as I still have all my symptoms.

I rang my local unit and went today for a scan who again confirmed the same as the private scan but are making us go back in 14 days for a re scan before I can have any medical management.

it just feels cruel and I have so many worries.
Will it happen naturally when it stopped so long ago?
can I end up with an infection with it just left there?
Will the NHS offer surgical management over tablets?

I just feel tortured

thank you to anyone who has read this!

I'm really sorry to hear that. It's such a horrible thing to happen, you think your pregnancy is going fine and then you realise the baby has died many weeks ago. :( It is understandable that you are feeling so upset. Please take care of yourself and treat yourself kindly.

I personally went for a surgical procedure with general anaesthetic and it was definitely the best thing for me, as I have had a traumatic termination for medical reasons the year before. They gave me medicine in the hospital, then took me down to surgery. The next thing I knew it was over. I had 2 days of heavy bleeding and recovering from the GA, and then it was like a very light period for the next week or so. My period came a month later.

@Moomoo20 @InvisibleDragon sorry you’ve both had to find yourself on this thread with us.

I chose medical management (one tablet, then 4 tablets 48hrs later) and it worked with no additional treatment needed. I had some bleeding earlier in the pregnancy so was prescribed progesterone and hadn’t had any bleeding since then before finding out at a private scan that there was no longer a heartbeat then nothing until I took the medication.

I will say though, they say it’s like a bad/heavy period but it’s a lot more than that. I ended up being sent to A&E because I had bled through 3 pads in an hour or so, it was scary. That was prior to taking the second dose of medication which made it more of a shock. The nurse told me to expect spotting but explicitly said ‘you won’t start bleeding until after the second dose’ so I was panicking but the doctor I saw in A&E said it’s fairly common for the bleeding to start after the first dose. I also had a weird reaction to the second dose and felt faint (generally I am a pretty fainty person and I hadn’t eaten all day due to being stuck in A&E). The bleeding reduced to normal period amount 2 days after the second dose and stopped all together within about a week. I tested negative 3 weeks later and then had a period around a week later (so 4 weeks after the medication).

I personally wouldn’t choose that option again for myself should I ever find myself in this situation again. I’m not trying to scare you or put you off choosing that option, just want to be honest about my experience with it.

I’m so sorry that you’re going through this @Moomoo20 @InvisibleDragon. Completely understand how awful this time is, definitely take the time you need like everyone else has said. I never know whether it’s helpful to say when you’re going through it but I’m 4 months post mmc and it genuinely does get easier. I still think about everything that happened but being out of the totally all consuming emotion is definitely a relief.

If it’s of any help, I wrote a long post about my MVA experience (I was lucky to have a positive experience overall) when I had my mmc earlier in the summer. Here’s if the link if it’s useful: MVA experience.

Sending hugs x

@Moomoo20 @InvisibleDragon im so sorry you’re both going through this. I agree with @Bellebg not that it helps now but I felt so overwhelmed and overcome with grief and emotion during, I had my operation on 8th July and genuinely felt in the run up that I would never get over it, never want to try again but it does get easier.

I had the surgical procedure under general anaesthetic as my baby stopped growing 4 weeks before my op and I just wanted it over at that point. Definitely think about your options and go for what you feel is best for you as everyone is different. This thread really helped me get through it though so please write on it whenever you need someone to talk to! I always keep an eye on it x

Thank you all for the kind words @Armdjm , @Bellebg , @TruthUnwinding @Confusedmermaid1 .

Maybe stupidly I've decided to go with medical management because I really didn't like the idea of the surgery and possible risk of scarring/adhesions. Have an appointment for the medication tomorrow and will take it the day after to try and make sure the worst is over while my DS is at nursery.

I know it's not going to be nice, but I'm hoping it's just a few really unpleasant hours and that I can get through it with plenty of painkillers.

I hope everything goes okay, keep us updated on how you feel. We have some idea of the grief and upset you might be feeling right now. <3

I'm two days late on my period, nauseous and had a negative test this morning. (First Reponse). I am feeling absolutely crackers, had a blood test for my thyroid (for fertlity reasons) and cried in the waiting room because they kept me in there for ages and there were about 5 newborns! FFS!
I wanted to scream, I was furious!

I've been advised to wait and test again in 5 days but this is excruciating.

@TruthUnwinding did you track ovulation? Or could you have just ovulated late? I have no idea how long it takes for cycles to go back to regular!
im so sorry you had to deal with that!

I could have. My Clue App predicted my first period after the miscarriage. Now 3 days late, gah! All advice from medical professionals is to test on Sunday or next week if the period still isn't here.

@TruthUnwinding is this your 1st period since the miscarriage?
As mine took 6 weeks to the day of my surgery to come back

@TruthUnwinding it took 9 weeks for my period to return after my procedure which was super ‘late’. Speaking to lots of people on here it can definitely take longe than a usual cycle. The wait isn’t fun so hope it’s not too much longer for you but just know it’s normal 😊

No, I have had one period since, and that was on time! I'm now day 4 of no period and feeling super nauseous.

I'm super frustrated but luckily working a lot until the next day that I have been advised to test.

@TruthUnwinding you will have to keep us updated!
It’s so stressful when you’re trying and you’re late but testing negative, especially if you’re having symptoms

Well, I took the medication and I think it worked. Had to take a second dose and then wait about 4 hours, which wasn't ideal. And holy hell that was a lot of bleeding.

I feel like my focus for the past week has been on getting through the medical management so that I can start getting back to normal ... And now I'm on the other side of that and need to actually get back to normal, which feels sort of weird. Guess I'll just be taking each day as it comes for a while.

Aw I'm so sorry you have had to go through all this. How was the pain etc with the tablets? I should be 12 weeks but baby stopped growing at 6 weeks. I've only had a tiny bit of bleeding here and there so I need to go back to hospital for the tablets tomorrow, no idea what to expect. I'm due to take the tablets Monday afternoon and back to work Wednesday, do you think this is too soon? I don't want to be really heavy bleeding/cramping at work, how long did you take off work? X

@Moomoo20 for me, I took the first pills at 6.30am and had cramping but not much bleeding, so had to take a second dose 4 hours later. Then the cramping really ramped up but significant bleeding didn't start until maybe 5.30pm. Then I had 3-4 hours of really intense bleeding (was really awful - made a huge mess of loads of clothes because even the biggest pads just got full in one go, passing big clots, quite overwhelming). Then it tailed off to much lighter (like a period) very quickly. I still had some painful cramps the next couple of days and am still bleeding now.

Regarding work, I have a sick note for up to the end of next week because I wasn't sure if the meds would work, how long it would take, etc. I'm planning to WFH the first part of the week and be back in the office on Thursday.

For you, I would say Wednesday might be a bit quick. It might be ok, but if your bleeding takes a while to start, or is more drawn out, you might not feel ready to go back so soon.

@Moomoo20 I think especially if you are getting the tablets in the afternoon, I would be thinking of taking at least another day before going back. You might either want to think about taking them early on Tuesday morning or expecting the worst part to be in the middle of the night!

Mine stopped growing around 6 weeks, I should be 8. I took tablets on Friday evening, cramps were quite bad 4 hours later, but then didn’t bleed loads, perhaps because I want to bed. Fairly heavy bleeding Saturday but definitely not heavier than a period. Pain quite bad today, comes and goes, but bearable, again the bleeding isn’t super heavy. I’m hoping to hear from the Epu tomorrow as I’m concerned no clots and the fact bleeding isn’t super heavy. I really hope it hasn’t failed but I’m wondering if I’ve been doubly unlucky. Just one dose of 4 Misoprostol. I’m not sure I’m ok for work tomorrow, I’ll see how I feel in the morning. I think it’s all quite variable and just depends on the individual.

Thank you that gives me a better idea of what to expect. Regarding a sick note do you get that from the EPU or did you have to call your doctor for one. How does a sick note work do you call your manager and tell them you have sick note and give your reason, sorry I'm clueless. Because I won't be taking the tablets until Monday afternoon I think I'll try get signed off for the whole week.

@Moomoo20 I got a fit note from the GP. Called them and had a telephone consultation - didn't need to be seen in person. They were very sympathetic and had no issues with it. I picked it up from the reception later that day. I emailed a picture of it to my boss and will bring it with me when I'm back in the office (although probably not needed). My note says miscarriage as the reason for being unwell, but the GP did ask if I wanted something different (I think if I didn't want my work to know I was trying to get pregnant for example).

I'm in Scotland, so process might be a bit different in England.

@InvisibleDragon @Moomoo20 @SophieRules im so sorry you are all going through this!

how are you all doing?

@TruthUnwinding how are things now?

Thanks for asking, I’m ok. I’m bleeding quite a bit now and period like pain, although worse for me as my periods aren’t actually painful. Took the pills on Friday. Back at work. Pain seems to be worse now I’m at home, it’s like my body knew it had to hold it together at work. Hoping bleeding and pain reduces soon.

Thanks for asking @Armdjm - I'm doing ok. Back at work - wfh today and tomorrow and back in the office on Thursday. Feeling broadly ok - I feel very fortunate to have a wonderful DS and I really want to get back to enjoying my normal life again.

Still feel a bit shellshocked about all the bleeding when I took the tablets, but very pleased to have got through the experience - and very much hoping for a negative pregnancy test in a couple of weeks!

Sorry girls for everyone going through this.

Just thought I'd tell you about my experience taking the tablets a couple of days ago.
So I had my second scan on Monday, which showed still no growth or heartbeat so they gave me the misoprostel tablets.

At 1 pm on Monday I took four tablets under my tongue and within about an hour, I started getting a pretty bad headache and just felt absolutely exhausted and I started getting heavier bleeding/clots, other symptoms from the tablets are a sore throat/ tongue but that went away after a few hours and I felt cold and shivery.
The midwife called me four hours after taking the 4 tablets and she advised me to take the other two just to move things along quicker, so four hours after taking the first tablets, I took another two tablets under my tongue and within a couple of hours of taking the other tablets I started getting a lot more cramps almost like contractions. They were painful, but I took a very strong painkiller which helped and that contraction like pain did not last long . I decided just to sit on the toilet for a while which I think helped and I soon passed quite a few big clots and also the large sac which was all intact. It was quite shocking to see but as soon as I passed the sac it's like the pain and cramps just disappeared and I was able to go to bed and get a decent sleep. So I would say I had a positive experience with the tablets and they worked for me. I took six tablets in total which I think really helped. The hospital had also provided me with strong painkillers and an anti-sickness tablet. The next day I felt fine and my bleeding was a lot lighter and no cramps. I have been signed off work for the rest of this week though and I feel back to normal today (2 day after taking tablets). I feel like the tablets worked well for me and everything seems to be over fairly quickly. I'm happy with my decision to take the tablets although I can understand why people wouldn't because it is quite shocking seeing all the blood/clots etc but I liked that I was able to be in the comfort of my own home and all happened fairly quickly.

I just feel like I want to move on now and hopefully my period returns soon and we can get back to TTC again. X

Glad you are all feeling okay, or at least as okay as can be! It’s such a horrible experience isn’t it.

We thought about having a break from TTC but changed our minds but I’ve had 2 periods now and both came at 9dpo which doesn’t seem very promising for being able to conceive if my luteal phase has now became so short! Hoping it’ll only last a couple of cycles then lengthen again.

Has this happened to anyone else?