Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC - Thread 8 ALL welcome!

[Sunbird24]

Exactly as the thread title says.
Some links to online resources that may be useful to anyone currently or recently going through this awful experience: 

www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/
www.tommys.org/
Www.miss-support.org.uk/support/
www.blr.lifecharity.org.uk/
www.petalscharity.org/

www.miscarriageformen.com/

You are not alone - please post whatever you need, or just read if you aren’t ready to talk.

Link to previous thread:
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/miscarriage/4732386-support-thread-for-those-experiencing-or-recently-experienced-a-mcmmc-thread-7-all-welcome?page=1

[SnookyPook]

@Sunbird24 thanks so much. Just marking my place here for when people migrate over! X

[ThelastRolo20]

@SnookyPook how are you doing? Old thread has filled up now so moving over too! X

[CluelessInLondon]

I'm here too, with a stinking cold and cough right now so am feeling very sorry for myself. 😫

@SnookyPook How are you feeling at the moment? Hope you are taking it easy.

[ThelastRolo20]

@CluelessInLondon sorry to hear about the cold, are you working or able to rest instead? How are you feeling about TTC this month? Emotional rollercoaster isn't it! X

[SnookyPook]

@ThelastRolo20 @CluelessInLondon thanks guys, I'm doing ok I guess. It just all feels very surreal. I'm sad to be back to square 1 again, but also relieved it's not been worse/taken longer and that I was guarded from the off. Hubby and I both agreed that with the HCG worries from the start, if the pregnancy had gone on we'd have been worried the whole time about the health of the baby etc. Anyway, it is what it is. It's crap to have had 3 losses in such quick succession but also, if it was going to happen, it's good it's been quick at least rather than 18 months in-between each pregnancy. Now we're getting referred on and hopefully might get some insights/help. There's no reason we shouldn't get pregnant again and hopefully sooner or later, one will stick..! Choosing to believe that our rainbow is still on its way....

My bleeding this time is more like a period despite supposedly being around 7 weeks... Combined with the low hcg etc I think it's been more of a glorified prolonged CP than anything.

Anyway, once the bleeding stops I'm going to just try and relax about it all and forget tracking etc over Christmas. Plus kind of want my fertility app to come through before we potentially get pregnant again just in case there's something they can tweak which will help the next one to stick 🤞🏻🙏🏻

How is everyone else today? There's been lots going on and I've not properly taken it all in as been so focused on my latest stuff. Hope everyone is ok. 💕

[CluelessInLondon]

@ThelastRolo20 I'm off sick today so mostly on the sofa, eating soup and watching films! Feeling mostly okay about TTC this month (and glad the cold has come now rather than in a couple of weeks' time!), I think I'm actually looking forward to focusing on something that feels positive after so many weeks of just feeling really sad. I would love it to happen again quickly but I know there isn't a lot I can do to influence that so I'm going to try not to put too much pressure on myself. How are the pregnancy tests looking now? Getting closer to that negative?

@SnookyPook Glad you are feeling okay - it's so unfair that you are having to go through this again, but your attitude has been amazing. It's a great idea to just relax over Christmas and give yourself a break from worrying about it, and I really hope that you get some help soon understanding what's going on. I'm sure your rainbow is just around the corner. ❤

[ThelastRolo20]

@CluelessInLondon good idea to rest up, and as you say better now! I'm glad going back to TTC is making you feel more positive, it'll do the same for me when I finally get there.

They are still there but very faint. I would hope by the 3 week mark it's completely gone 🤞🏻 that's in 6 days time (but who's counting?) 😂

[w1azrdingabout12345]

I just wanted to update you all, went to EPU today who confirmed retained miscarriage. They said that they don't recommend expectant management as it's been three weeks and 2 days and it's not all come out.

I'm booked in for a MVA (they called it a vacuum) for 8am tomorrow. I am so relieved. Thank you all again from the bottom of my heart for giving me courage this week.

[ThelastRolo20]

@w1azrdingabout12345 I'm so glad you went in, well done as it can be so scary.

I'm glad they've got you in for tomorrow, hopefully after then you can focus on moving on xx

[w1azrdingabout12345]

Thank you @ThelastRolo20 your kind words are really helping me x

[CluelessInLondon]

@w1azrdingabout12345 I'm so glad to hear you've been seen and are getting some treatment - the whole thing is really scary and confusing so I completely understand why you were nervous about seeking help. Good luck for tomorrow - I hope it goes smoothly and you feel okay afterwards. Take care of yourself.

@ThelastRolo20 I'm sure you'll have that negative before too long!

[SnookyPook]

@w1azrdingabout12345 so glad you got seen and that they have booked you in quickly. I'm sure tomorrow (today) will be very emotional... Just feel the feels and know that you will be ok. 💕

[LexIvy88]

Hi ladies,
jumping onto this thread as feel like I need to get some of my anxiety out in the open. I had been TTC for a year when I had a MMC in June. Diagnosed at 7 weeks although I had a blighted ovum that kept growing without an embryo. Started bleeding at 8w but had to have surgery as my body didn’t want to let it go.

I’m currently 7 weeks pregnant again, I was elated to conceive so quickly again after I had my D&C. I also conceived on my 35th birthday, so I was convinced that it was fate and I would be able to tell my parents and family the good news at Christmas and it was all so perfect.

Today I sit here sick with anxiety. I have had no symptoms since week five and I had some spotting at 5&4, the exact days that I was told the embryo stopped developing last time. I just have that feeling again that something isn’t right.

I have a scan at 8am tomorrow morning and I’m so scared and sad that I’ve got a blighted ovum again - I feel like I know already that I have. It’s just so so shit. If miscarrying happens in 1&4 then why is it happening to me (and some of you lovely people) multiple times in a row. I think they need to update that statistic… anyway, only one day left to get through then I’ll have to face it all again.

[CluelessInLondon]

Hi and welcome @LexIvy88, I'm sorry to hear about your previous loss and the anxiety you're feeling right now - I think it's inevitable with a pregnancy after loss. Just wanted to give you a hand-hold and some support ahead of tomorrow - I really hope you get positive news and reassurance, loss of symptoms doesn't automatically mean miscarriage and I so hope that's the case for you. ❤

[Sunbird24]

@w1azrdingabout12345 hope everything went ok this morning. 💐

@LexIvy88 totally normal to feel the way you do, everything crossed for your scan tomorrow 🤞

[Oxalis00]

Hello everyone, count me in. I’ve been a bit more active on the TTC board than here lately, but it’s good to keep connected to my roots!

Well done @w1azrdingabout12345 - it can’t have been easy going back to EPU and getting that news. I’ve been there… Really hope the MVA goes smoothly and things start to settle for you.

[Jess1997]

I got the methotrexate today! My HCG is still rising and from the scans they think it’s an ectopic attached to my c section scar. Only got it an hour ago, feeling fine so far.. just a sore bum from the injection

[LexIvy88]

Thank you @CluelessInLondon and @Sunbird24. I think it’s the bit of hope that is killing me, I’ve been obsessing over the positive ‘no symptom’ stories on here but I really think I’m kidding myself. I just want to get the scan over and done with so I can start to grieve and move on again. X

[CluelessInLondon]

@Jess1997 Sorry to hear it looks like an ectopic but it's good that you're getting some answers and it can be treated now. Glad to hear you are feeling okay - take care of yourself.

@w1azrdingabout12345 How are you feeling today? I hope everything went okay this morning.

[ThelastRolo20]

@Jess1997 ah sorry to hear that but hopefully the injection does the job - I've had one in the bum before, it's uncomfortable!

I've probably had my worst day mentally today. I have felt so low all afternoon. My tests have stopped getting lighter now for about 4 days - it's 2.5 weeks since the miscarriage so feeling doubtful it'll be negative by Tuesday. It's just not going :( tempted to ring them tomorrow and try and get a scan booked in. Just feeling totally rubbish

[CrazyMILonthecase]

@Sunbird24 Thank you so much for setting up the new thread - so nice to have this to turn to 💕
@ThelastRolo20 im sorry to hear you’ve had such a rubbish day. Try not to panic too much about the tests - I found mine suddenly went from faint (although still fairly obvious if that makes sense!) to completely gone within a matter of days. You’ve still got a fair few days until you reach 3 weeks post MC - I reckon you’ll be staring at a squinter or a negative one by then 🤞🏻 X
@CluelessInLondon Hope you’re feeling better and the sofa day has done the trick. Definitely better to get any viruses out the way now rather than when you’re having to get down to “business” 😆
@Jess1997 ahh I’m sorry 😞 Hopefully the injection does the trick and you’re feeling ok about everything (sore bum aside!)x
@SnookyPook your positivity is just fab 💕 I agree with you, I’m glad my 3 losses have come quickly rather than over a year or two. Really hope your referral comes through quickly and a sticky bean is just around the corner for you 🤞🏻 x
@w1azrdingabout12345 Oh I’m so glad your hospital sorted it quickly for you. I hope the procedure went ok this morning and you’re feeling ok x
@LexIvy88 oh that panic and anxiety is completely natural. Just remember it’s normal for symptoms to come and go - a loss makes you so much more aware of things that might not have even come on to your radar before. I really hope everything goes well at your scan tomorrow - remember we are all here offering a virtual handhold! X

[CluelessInLondon]

@ThelastRolo20 Oh, I'm sorry to hear you're feeling low today - the troughs of emotion really are unlike anything else. Definitely call the EPU for some advice if you're worried - they might suggest that you leave it a bit longer before doing another test, but at least they'll be able to suggest what to do next. I found that period waiting for a negative test really tough, it just felt like it went on forever.

Feel the pain (literally!) of injections in the bum - I had an anti D injection after my surgery and couldn't believe how much it hurt compared to having a normal injection in the arm!

[SnookyPook]

@Jess1997 hope you're doing ok after the methotrexate and ectopic diagnosis. It's good that it's been dealt with so you won't have to worry about a rupture etc. Sending a hug xx

@LexIvy88 sending a hand hold for the morning. I so hope everything goes well for you. I just started bleeding this week bang on 7 weeks and the daydream that I'd have been able to announce at Christmas was one of the hardest bits to come to terms with. As the others have said, loss of symptoms isn't conclusive by any means. 🙏🏻❤️

@w1azrdingabout12345 hope you're doing ok 💕

@ThelastRolo20 sorry it's been a tough day... Sending a hug X

Hugs to everyone else.

[w1azrdingabout12345]

Sorry for silence on my end everyone. I did read some of the messages which helped as I kept repeating it to myself as I say there in hospital waiting.

@LexIvy88 wil be thinking of you this morning. Let us know how you get on in the scan

@Sunbird24 @Oxalis00 @SnookyPook @CluelessInLondon thank you for all the well wishes. It was a experience that's for sure. I found it personally a bit painful but then again nothing about this experience has been pain free so I guess that's what the whole thing is in the end. I do feel sooo much better! The pain is gone and I can stand up properly for the first time in what feels like a long time (but in reality has been just weeks). At least now I can finally wait for the first period which brings another sadness but there you go. I did cry a bit in the room, just overwhelmed with everything. They had to use a cutterage in the end and then some of sort of weird pump thing as the suction was not working on a particular but that just would not come out... I feel like i was in the right place then as it was never going to come out naturally then.

@ThelastRolo20 I am so sorry to hear about how you are feeling and the tests! I delayed coz mine was getting lighter too but I wish I hadn't so I would encourage you to call the EPU also. Big hugs x

[ThelastRolo20]

Thanks everyone. What I am realising is that everyone I feel utterly rubbish a major hormone shift occurs - today's test. You need professional lighting and some serious squinting to see the line.

Worth testing again or can I just say this is negative and move on with my life 😂