Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC - Thread 8 ALL welcome!

[Sunbird24]

Exactly as the thread title says.
Some links to online resources that may be useful to anyone currently or recently going through this awful experience:

www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/
www.tommys.org/
Www.miss-support.org.uk/support/
www.blr.lifecharity.org.uk/
www.petalscharity.org/

www.miscarriageformen.com/

You are not alone - please post whatever you need, or just read if you aren’t ready to talk.

Link to previous thread:
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/miscarriage/4732386-support-thread-for-those-experiencing-or-recently-experienced-a-mcmmc-thread-7-all-welcome?page=1

@CrazyMILonthecase ooh will keep my fingers crossed for you that ovulation comes on cue!

@Jess1997 how are you getting on? Has the methotrexate been ok? How are you feeling now?

@Bugdem123 I meany to reply something to your long post above. So glad that you found a good clinician who helped you feel a bit better about things. I definitely relate to your line about feeling weak and crazy for succombing to the grief. Although I've had loads of supportive people around me, I still feel sometimes that there are those who think I should be over it by now or who don't see it as a grief they can understand. But we are so entitled to feel whatever we are feeling. And this thread is especially great for that. 💕

Hope everyone is doing ok?

I'm waiting for second ovulation post miscarriage (CD12) but not getting signs of anything happening so it's making me feel anxious! My last cycle was short but this one seems different again. So frustrating when we just want to TTC again. I'm hoping to get positive OPK in the next couple of days so I can stop worrying!

I'm finding that there's always something to worry about and it's getting exhausting! It was my first pregnancy so I feel like the whole positive/exciting experience about starting a family has been taken away from me and I'm so envious of those around me who have had viable pregnancies first time round. Sorry for the rant but it's getting to me today and it feels so unfair.

@13lucy Sorry to hear you're feeling frustrated and worried - I think miscarriage really exposes how little control we have over our bodies. Did you have irregular cycles before your MC?

I'm with you on feeling robbed of all of the excitement and anticipation of a first pregnancy - I am really, really hoping to conceive quickly now that we're trying again, but I struggle to imagine how I might feel if/when it happens. I'm a natural worrier so I found early pregnancy a bit overwhelming even before I miscarried, but I at least felt happy as well, so it does concern me that I might struggle to feel happy about a future pregnancy because I'm too busy worrying. I guess all any of us can do is try again, and think positive about the chances of success next time around. How you feel is totally understandable though. ❤

@CluelessInLondon it really does! Yes I had irregular cycles which I think was due to over exercise and stress. I had to go 'all in' on addressing this and concieved on my first ovulation after a few months of amenorrhoea! It's a huge worry for me that I won't cycle normally.

I think we sound very similar with being natural worriers! I feel the same and I'm also overthinking whether there's something wrong with me as opposed to it being bad luck as I haven't had a viable pregnancy before. Although trying to stay positive as there's still a good chance it will be ok next time round!

I'm also overthinking how my body is every day and how this relates to my cycle, plus all the OPK/BBT tracking! Not sure if it helps or hinders but makes me feel more in control 😂

I really appreciate your support through this. It helps to know I'm not alone.

Just checking in on everyone as it’s gone a bit quiet. Hope you’re all doing ok this weekend 💐

Hi @Sunbird24 - been a frustrating week for me. Waiting for ovulation but no signs as of yet (CD15). Wondering if my COVID vaccination has put a spanner in the works (got very high random BBT the following morning). So just a waiting game at the moment and hoping my cycle returns to normal! Hope you're doing ok?

@13lucy Pretty sure Covid vaccine screwed up my ovulation the month I had it and was testing! Either it made it happen very early (before I tested, so like CD7) or it suppressed the spike somehow. AF still turned up though.

@13lucy I think flu vaccine set me back on ovulation by a couple of days, too - I had a bit of a temp from it for a day or so. Keep testing!

@Sunbird24 did you ovulate or miss a month completely? I haven't had a normal period for about 6 months now so I'm hyper focussed on it all at the moment! Just really want some reassurance that my body is functioning properly.

@Oxalis00 I'll keep testing! Usually I have a few other symptoms in the lead up to LH peak but I've not had any yet, so I reckon I'm a few days off at least. Gets demoralising seeing a negative OPK test every time!

Has anyone here had methotrexate? I got it about a week and a half ago and for the last 20 mins or so my butt is sooo sore! Which I know is a sign of rupture but I didnt think it could still happen after over a week with the injection

@Sunbird24 Thanks for checking in with everyone. ❤I've been away for a couple of days visiting my sister, which was really nice and felt so much more like being back to normal. It was also the first time I had a conversation at any length with anybody apart from my husband about the miscarriage, which was quite cathartic.

@13lucy Any sign of ovulation yet for you? I'm in that phase of the cycle where I go crazy over OPK tests - haven't had a positive one yet but got the flashing smiley face on a CB digital test yesterday morning (forgot to do one this morning when I got up so I'm holding for a few hours and will do it later!), so I think it's coming.

@Jess1997 Sorry not to be able to share any advice/experience, but wanted to check in with you to see how you're feeling today.

@Jess1997 sorry to hear that lovely. Have you contacted your EPU/whoever has been dealing with this for you? Definitely not a daft thing to ask about. Hope you're ok.

@CluelessInLondon that's nice you were able to have a good chat with your sister. I think these moments of connection and just normalising it all and having you experience validated etc are so helpful.

I've not opk'd since my most recent miscarriage - mostly because I've not got any in the house and didn't order more in time. However, Hubby this morning: "You're looking spotty and fertile" (with suggestive eyebrow raise) 😂 Things you only hear when TTC. And indeed I have my faithful massive ovulation spot on my cheek (never knew Hubs paid attention to it - although admittedly it's hard to miss 😂). However, of course this month we're not TTC... Which is feeling weird now that I know I seem to be close to ovulation. Trying to be happy that it seems my body must have got back in the groove of things quite quickly though. It feels crazy 'wasting' a cycle, but at the same time, I think my MH really needs a month off from symptom spotting and worrying about it all. A BFP would even be a worry at this point tbh so I'm just going to chill and focus on being healthy and happy for now, as per original plan. I can't help tormenting myself though with 'what if THIS egg is a lovely healthy one?!' 😩

@SnookyPook after about an hour and some codeine it finally went away! I’m back up at the EPU on Thursday for more bloods. I was there last Thursday expecting like a check up to see how I was after the injection and all but they literally just did my bloods and sent me on my way. This Thursday I’m gonna ask to see a midwife instead of just the nurse doing my bloods! My HCG had dropped but not as much as they had hoped for. It had gone down from 317 to about 240. Hopefully it’s down way more this week

@SnookyPook That's reassuring that it looks as though your cycle is settling back to normal quickly. I think your plan to take it easy for a couple of months and give yourself a break is still a really good one - I know it feels like a waste of the cycle, but really it's a way for you to reset and give your body and your emotions some space and time to recover from everything you've been through this year. I'm certain you will feel better for it in the long run. 💕

Thanks @CluelessInLondon - I think you're right 💕

@Jess1997 glad it finally settled for you! I really hope you see a big drop in levels this week and that you can hopefully start putting this behind you. ❤️

@CluelessInLondon glad you had a nice time with your sister. It really does help to talk about it. I've been having counselling which has helped me work through my thoughts and feelings. It's good to be able to share openly and like you say it's very cathartic.

I've had a couple of days of darker opks but not positive yet (fingers crossed for today!). To be honest I think my body is doing strange things after the COVID jab and I'll be surprised if I do ovulate this cycle - I'm already a week late! My resting heart rate is through the roof still and I know that's not good for ovulation. It's actually causing me a lot of stress and I'm not sure if that's making things worse! Will update you on how I get on.

Good to hear that you're getting a flashy smiley and that things are getting back on track! How are you feeling about it?

Hope everyone else is doing ok?

@13lucy I'm feeling pretty good about this cycle - got my LH peak on Monday so I should have ovulated yesterday. I do worry that I'm getting my hopes up too much off the back of reading lots of positive stories about people getting pregnant right after miscarriage, but equally we've given ourselves a good shot this cycle and we can't do any more than that so I'm trying to be pragmatic about it. That might completely fail in about 12 days' time, but we'll see! It's a really complex range of emotions, trying again after loss, and I'm just trying to see it as a positive step.

You never know, you might just ovulate late this cycle - fingers crossed you get a positive OPK soon.

Hope everyone else is doing okay this week.

Hi all. Hope you are okay? Well, I’m not pregnant. 😞Although not doing OPKs etc I know I ovulated due to my Apple Watch and CM. Had to take a test as due to have some oral surgery so had to check.

I don’t know why I’m disappointed- we had sex every other day until yesterday so we did all we could to catch. It’s just very poor old eggs. It took six months to catch with the baby we lost but we aren’t waiting that long. Going to start donor egg process for new year.

It’s quite daunting and exciting.

@Noodles4Me Sorry to hear that things didn't work out for you this cycle - you never know though, it still might. Will you do the same again this cycle? It's great that you have a plan for the new year as well, even though it might not be quite how you envisaged it happening. I think it makes a big difference just to feel like you're taking some positive steps, whatever they are.

@CluelessInLondon well I think I've just hit a peak LH (or at least very positive) so that's made me feel a lot better (CD19 today). I've heard that COVID vaccine can push your cycle back by a week. Will test again this evening to see what's going on and fingers crossed for the temp rise in the next day or two. Are you temping?

I'm not sure if late ovulation can reduce chances or increase risk of miscarriage so that will be my next worry once ovulation is confirmed!

I understand how you feel with TTC again and worrying about getting your hopes up. I would definitely take the positives that your cycle is back and you're doing everything you can to give you the best chance. I think it's about 30% chance so only so much we can control but I'm sure we will get there! Just think how much we longed to be in the position to TTC a month ago and now we are here!

Just trying to stay in the moment as much as possible but I totally get the mixed emotions with it all. Quite exhausting!

Hey everyone, hope you're all getting on okay. I'm currently 9DPO and so far managing to resist the urge to test. I'm still on holiday so I think that's making it easier but I'm also petrified to find out. If I'm not pregnant then I'm worried it's going to set me back, and if I am then I'm terrified of being pregnant again. TTC after loss is less than ideal.

Highly recommend getting away together as a couple if you can, this trip has done us so much good, both individually and as a couple.

@13lucy I don't temp, just tracking using OPKs. I think it's definitely possible to have too many things to obsess over when TTC - at least now I'm past ovulation I can stop tracking things for a bit until the next cycle! Did you get your LH peak?

@Bugdem123 Nice to hear from you and I hope you're having an amazing holiday - I'm so glad to hear that it's done you and your husband good. Sounds like you are going through similar emotions to me, that mix of really wanting to get pregnant again, worrying about it not working this month, then also worrying about what might happen if it does. I'm just trying to take the view that I've done what I can for this cycle and if it doesn't happen, I know there's nothing I could have done about it - although we'll see if that holds up when I get closer to my period being due! When is your period due? Can you hold off testing until then?

@Jess1997 Good luck for your appointment today, fingers crossed that you get positive news on the HCG levels.

It's Thursday so we can all start looking ahead to the weekend - hope everyone has something nice planned.

@CluelessInLondon I agree! Temping can definitely cause stress first thing when you wake up which isn't great. Given my irregular cycles I want to know I'm ovulating so will continue for a couple of cycles and will then stop. I think I've hit LH peak today as my OPK test was even darker, so I guess that's a good sign! Will be good to have a break from DTD and LH testing! I've got my fingers crossed for us both!

@Bugdem123 great advice on getting away, I think I really need that! The hormones give you such crazy emotions it can feel overwhelming. I've been trying to stay in the moment as much as I can but it's easier said than done! I have my fingers crossed for you.

@CluelessInLondon thankyou! My HCG has now dropped to 12.1!!!!!! So I am officially discharged!! Glad it’s finally over! Just have to take a test in a week and it should hopefully be negative and then I am done! They’ve also told me when I start TTC in 4 months that if it’s successful they will scan me at about 6/7 weeks to make sure everything is okay!

@Jess1997 That is great news, I'm really pleased to hear it - at least now you can start to move on. ❤