7th miscarriage looming..........

[oinker]

I had a scan yesterday which confirmed my worst fears.
Beanies HB slow and not correct size for gestation. This has happened so many times know.
I already take heparin and two baby aspirin.
Hospital refuse to put me on steroids because of my BMI.
I have alresdy lost so much weight to rule out my weight being an issue. I lost over 5st bringing me down to 13st.
I don't know what else to do.
I want to call it day and get my head around the fact I will never be a mum.
I really can't be bothered to go through this again. Nothing bloody works. The recurrent m/c clinic would quite happily just have me going through this time and time again. They are not actually doing anything to help. They have nothing more to offer me. What is the point on carrying on just for more failure?
I am at the clinic run by Lesley REAGAN in paddington. If they can't help no-one
can.
I can't keep doing this.....

Hey girls

Wanted to do a little update, Im told its a partial Molar pregnancy... D&C is booked for 31st.

I woke up this morning (after a very drunken night at our friends house) Pain and bleeding. Rung hospital like I was told, examined, told me cervix was open, bleeding in minimal, given pain killers and sent home. Much rather be in the comfort of my own home. But I am around 12 weeks preg (well Im not obviously) But preg sac and placenta has kept growing just not baby.

I dont know wha to expect, all of my losses have been early on, nothing to major or painful physically iykwm?

Is it gonna be horrendous? I am dosed up on pain killers and they have totally knocked me for 6? Pains are still pretty bad, I have got a bath run which i keep topping up and getting in, hot water bottle, lots of water and lemonade. I feel hungry but too sick to eat so Im nibbling bits

Hi oinker

I think hughes is the same as aps what my friend had. I have read a bit about it. It just means some women's blood clots more easily in PG but doesn't mean you have all the symptoms of hughes (strokes, rashes etc...)

Sorry to be ignorant...can you tell me what NKC are? I don't know about this.

I wonder if they might think about the progesterone for you as well?...I know you mentioned the steroid treatment too.
You must still have heart but give yourself time to recover and to feel well again.
My last loss was 9 weeks ago and I'm only just starting to feel "ok". Poll xxx

Hello julez

I haven't read all of this thread, but sorry to see you here too. I hope all goes as well as it can for the 31st.
poll xxx

Julez.....

How shitty. I really feel for you. I cannot beleive we have to go through all time after time. I hope the pain killers are doing the trick.

I have not long been back from the hospital. I can't beleive I turned up hung over. They fast tracked me cos the doctor spotted me dozing off. He thought I was just run down (the cold sore looked convincing)due to m/c.
Anyway, got to go back. There are still products left. If bleeding gets heavy I will have a D&C.

pollysue.......

I have tried the progesterone too....It didn't work

NKCells are Natual Killer cells which are in the uterus... We all have them bt docs reckon that they increase in some women when they are pregnant and that causes the cells to attack the feotus like a cancer and kills it.........Check it out on line it makes some interesting reading...

oinker Im sorry you are still going through this, lifes not fair sometimes...I have a cold sore too, i dont usually get them but thsi one is huge and sore least of my worries though.

Im pretty shitty today, bleeding has gotten heavy this morning, passed a few clots, have a horrid headache. Around 9am this morning ds2 (1) started vomiting. DS1 (6) is out for the day DP will pick him up on the way home. ds2 just keeps wimpering and whingy, then falling asleep.

I am still not "soaking" pads but thats because when i feel like im losing i sit on the toilet for a bit

hoping to avoid D&C now. Feeling a bit tearful today sorry for the long post, no one else seems to understand

Gosh, Julz, I'm so sorry. It all sounds horrible .

I'm sure you know better than me, I was 11 weeks along, but embryo only measured 7 weeks - the night that most everything passed, I had pain in waves that made me stop what I was doing and squeeze DH's hand. Most people describe them as mini-contractions. When the sac passed, it wasn't painful, but I definitely felt it, although mine wasn't as big as yours. One thing, though - the doctor told me not to take baths, only showers, because of risk of infection. Not sure if that's accurate advice, but thought I'd mention it?

julez, am really sorry to hear this, you must be devastated. x take care x

oh julez im so, so sorry. please take care my love x

Julez...........

))))))))))))))))))))))HUGS((((((((((((((((((

I am so sorry I didn't pick this up until today. It is shitty, I know. It's worst for you as yo have your little one to care for too. At least I can just sit alone and get on with things. Mind you, I have been getting really lonely. Dreading the thought of going back to work on Monday. Am still bleeding quite a bit but it's not a constant heavy flow. I can't justify staying home any longer...I will see what arrangements I can make at work for the next few weeks.
Prof did warn me that when my period is due it would bevery heavy and uncomfortable as the scan still shows some product that needs to pass.....

I may try and get a bit of self pampering in down the gym......

Oinker - couldnt you take a few more days off? You dont sound ready to go back yet. Luckily I dont have to think about that.

DS is better today, hes sleeping now so Ive put myself back in bed, pain is awful and crippling today, bleeding has stopped being so heavy but last night i woke up covered in it (TMI SORRY)I was in the bath at 5am this morning, ive got stronger pain killers today so after my btah im gonna take some and relax and hopefully watch a disney film with the boys.

if Im honest im throwing myself into other arrangements, we are getting married next july and Ive just persuaded DP we need to get the house sorted and move! He got a pay rise so some good news at least. So Im picking out colours, ordering kitchen cupbaords etc..

Julz, I'm so so sorry for you
I know it helped me to take my mind off of it, so it's good that you have some projects to keep you busy.

Take care of yourself.

oh julez..............

Hope you are feeling better....It sounds awful.
I have spoken to HR today and they don't want me back until the m/c is complete. It looks like I have a couple of more weeks off. Not sure how I feel about that though...i sooooooooooooooo bored. Have already decorated the loft room and painted the hallway... I may give the garden a go if this good weather continues.

Off to Debenhams soon they have a sale on

)))))))))))))))))))HUGS(((((((((((((((((((((

Just caught up on both of your updates. Words seem so inadequate at the moment, but you are both still in my thoughts.

Ive just come off the phone with the midwife whos been taking care of me in my EPU, she is furious i was sent home.

Just waiting for her to call me back I may need to go in today, although tbh i think the worst of it passed yesterday

I hate that its so long and drawn out i just wanna get back to normal. I am never getting pregnant again I cant face this anymore.

Ive just come off the phone with the midwife whos been taking care of me in my EPU, she is furious i was sent home.

Just waiting for her to call me back I may need to go in today, although tbh i think the worst of it passed yesterday

I hate that its so long and drawn out i just wanna get back to normal. I am never getting pregnant again I cant face this anymore.

Oh Julez.........

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Why are these idiots so bloody incompitant.
There is no compassion or thought for how we feel.

No-one can understand what we have been through. All they do is give you the look...

Julez I really hope someone sorts you out quickly. It's not bloody right. You shouldn't be made to suffer like this. It's so wrong!!!!!

I have to go in for a scan and blood tests firt thing to see if its all come out, if not i am in sunday afternoon for surgery on monday morning i just want to be back to normal!

Oh Julez........

I really hope it gets sorted out quickly

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))))))))))))))))))))HUGS((((((((((((((((((( (

Im back from the hospital, the mole has grown, so im in sunday for the op

It looked considerably larger than it did in the last scan, they took bloods ive got to ring later to find out the numbers.

I got home today aswell to pregnancy notes pushed through my door with an appt for next thurs for her to come talk to me...

I have already had 2 midwives knock on the door and I explained to both of them. I rung her and she was very apologetic, lept saying sorry and asked if I was ok.

it was like a kick in the teeth. We are researching surrogacy now. Just looking into it, nothings for deffinate yet, My midwife at EPU thinks this new consultant will want to do further investigations once all the molar testing is over with. Just to make sure they didnt miss anything last time.

Oh Julez - how crap of the midwifery team.
Best of luck for the op tomorrow.

Julez..........

I just wanted to send a big hug

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I hope this is sorted out for you by Monday.....
I will be thinking of you.....

thanks girls

I go back in the morning, first on the list so should go down to theatre at half 8. Just glad its nearly over with now, its dragged on for so bloody long.

Oinker, Im glad you have a few more weeks off. Time off will do you good

I cant wait to get back to my normal self.

My DS(baby) has been ill all week with vomiting so I nearly called off the op, but he finally stopped puking at 8pm last night. So i persuaded them to do all the pre op stuff anf let me go home and go back in the morning. Hopefully they said Ill be ready to go home at lunch time
We have pretty much decided to look into surrogacy if next lot of investigations dont give us no hope

Julez...........

How did things go? I hope you are OK. I am sure you're still a bit tired and just emotional tonight.
)))))))))))))))))HUGS(((((((((((((((((

How's DS? Things just don't come to a standstill for us when we need it.
Try and take some time out to recouperate....

Hi girls

just an ipdate to say I got home at 2pm, op was straight forward all over with now hopefully xxx

hope your doing ok oinker?