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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

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Original poster

7th miscarriage looming..........

180 replies

oinker · 28/02/2008 11:28

I had a scan yesterday which confirmed my worst fears.
Beanies HB slow and not correct size for gestation. This has happened so many times know.
I already take heparin and two baby aspirin.
Hospital refuse to put me on steroids because of my BMI.
I have alresdy lost so much weight to rule out my weight being an issue. I lost over 5st bringing me down to 13st.
I don't know what else to do.
I want to call it day and get my head around the fact I will never be a mum.
I really can't be bothered to go through this again. Nothing bloody works. The recurrent m/c clinic would quite happily just have me going through this time and time again. They are not actually doing anything to help. They have nothing more to offer me. What is the point on carrying on just for more failure?
I am at the clinic run by Lesley REAGAN in paddington. If they can't help no-one
can.
I can't keep doing this.....

OP posts:
Julezboo · 11/03/2008 21:19

Hey Oinker,

Wanted to pop on and say good luck for the morning

Still no sign, boobs are agony and sickness still there. I dont mind waiting so long as there is no risk i want to avoid a D&C if possible I have too much scar tissue in there already.

Im off to my grandmas funeral tomorrow, so had to travel to my mums tonight, without the boys and DP and the god awful MIL !!!

CantSleepWontSleep · 11/03/2008 21:21

Good luck for the scan tomorrow Oinker.

How long has it been now Julez? I didn't start bleeding until 4 weeks after my first had died. Didn't still have symptoms though, but I don't really do symptoms in the first place when I'm pregnant.

Julezboo · 11/03/2008 21:49

baby died at 7 weeks they said CSWS I should be just over 10! My mum said I even look pregnant (after I asked for her opinion, she didnt just come out with it lol)

So I dunno whats going on, Im guessing I still have symptoms because my HCG levels where so high because it started off as a twin pregnancy. Its 2 weeks this friday since I found out.

Original poster
oinker · 12/03/2008 11:31

Just back from my scan.

MC confirmed. No HB seen this week.

I am OK. I knew this was going to be the case. Have already planned some decorating to fill in the time whilst I am off work.
I will not be having the D&C. I didn't see the point. The results are always inconclusive.

Julez.....

Thinking of you. Take care...

)))))))))))))))HUGS((((((((((((((((((

OP posts:
CantSleepWontSleep · 12/03/2008 12:28

Oinker.

I guess that makes sense about the twin hcg Julez. Hope you don't have to wait much longer for things to get moving.

justjules · 12/03/2008 19:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

orangehead · 12/03/2008 21:24

Oinker Im so sorry, sending you hugs

Uki · 13/03/2008 10:55

Oinker I'm so sorry. I was just thinking of you today, and so saddened to read this. You have suffered so much more than anyone should

I really hope that there will be a LO for you soon.

Thinking and praying for you.xxx Uki

Original poster
oinker · 13/03/2008 12:08

Thanks hun.........

))))))))))))))))))))))HUGS(((((((((((((((((((

OP posts:
KashaSarrasin · 13/03/2008 12:13

Oh Oinker I'm so so sorry, I had everything crossed for you. Please look after yourself. xxxx

Julezboo · 13/03/2008 13:29

oh oinker Im sorry the scan was what you expected

Original poster
oinker · 13/03/2008 15:36

Julze,
Thanks...

How are you?

I have been trying to concentrate on other things today.... M/C still very slow...

I have been arranging my 40th (decided to just have a party)

Have a stressful day ahead of me tomorrow. Best friends birthday....she died last september. Am braving the cemetery. She was so good to me. Supported me through all of the shite I went thru from the first and subsequent m/c's.

OP posts:
kd73 · 13/03/2008 18:58

Oinker - just wanted to let you know I am thinking of you and hope life improves

Original poster
oinker · 13/03/2008 21:16

You are very sweet............THANKS........

OP posts:
Julezboo · 13/03/2008 21:27

Hi oinker

Glad your able to keep busy, Im not one for sitting round doing nothing either.

I will be thinking of you tomorrow Its the anniversary of my nans death too

At my other gran funeral yesterday.

One more word too "MIL" i dont really need to say anymore, Ive been in tears alot of today, she makes me feel like a rubbish mum the one thing i thought i got right....

Still no bleeding but have a horrid headache today, tablets cant shift it and i usually get them the day before AF/bleeding with all the other losses so Im hoping it starts soon. 24th seems so long away I am going to ring them up tomorrow and make it for next week whilst DS is still in school.

I hope tomorrow passes peacefully for you xxx

CantSleepWontSleep · 13/03/2008 21:33

((((((((((((((Oinker))))))))))))))))
((((((((((((((Julez)))))))))))))))))

Julezboo · 14/03/2008 11:53

thanks CSWS

Oinker how are you doing today?

Original poster
oinker · 14/03/2008 18:17

Evening............

Today went well. I was OK. I was a little sad when there. I was unable to find the plot. She was buried in woodland in a green burial site. The family have placed a baby oak tree at the site but nothing else. No name plaque, nothing. Others have grown beautiful small gardens... It really saddened me. Anyway, I sat with her a while and ate my packed lunch and mini birthday cake. It felt good and she would have loved it.

OP posts:
justjules · 14/03/2008 18:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

wen10 · 16/03/2008 07:45

Julie and Oinker, i have only just caught up with this post, i am so very sorry for your losses, am sending you both meaningful gentle hugs. Take things easy my friends.
wenXXX.

Julezboo · 16/03/2008 10:44

oinker, im glad your day went okish, Im sure your friend knew you was there with her

Thinking of you xx

pollysue · 23/03/2008 09:05

Hello Oinker

I know I am coming into this thread weeks after it has been running and you have lots of friends on here supporting you through.

I really am sorry for all your losses, it really is the hardest thing to go through.

I wanted to ask you at what stages did you m/c with your losses?

I have had several m/c's too and have thought about a referral to st marys, but after reading some of the responses here, I wonder if it's all it's meant to be?

I don't have any wise words as I'm still trying to fathom what is going so wrong with my pg's I'm afraid.

Someone I know was also put on progesterone as well as the aspirin and it worked in the end. (she too had 7 m/c) So there are always happy endings. Infact even with her the aspirin treatment took a few goes b/f they got there.

Hang in there.
Polly xx

Original poster
oinker · 23/03/2008 20:44

Pollysue,

Hi and welcome. I don't mean to sound so negative when I go on about St Marys. it's just that I went to them pretty late in the discovery of all my m/c's. I was refered from Queen Charlottes. That was because I asked to be. I really beleive it is a guessing game. No-one really knows how to deal with us.
I now have some papers from the Womens Hospital Liverpool for my UNK cell tests. Hopefully that will give me a definate answer.

In answer to your questions my m/c's always start soon afrter a heart beat is seen. The heartbeats are always slow and stop totally within 2 weks of it being detected. I literally get a .......... So sorry, and a shrug of the shoulders.... THEY HAVE NO IDEA............ I have literally been taking the same medication all the time.... Aspirin.........then...........aspirin and clexane.......IT IS NOT WORKING and they keep telling me to try again maybe next time it'll work.....Of course it won't.... Even I can see a definate pattern....

RANT OVER.............SORRY.....

OP posts:
pollysue · 24/03/2008 09:12

Hi again

I know.... it is a totally demoralising. Words can't describe the sense of defeat and failure and the hardest thing is not having the answers.

I have heard of UNK but have to say I am no expert. I have regan's miscarriage book which
has made me more aware of all the reasons for M/C.

I'm afraid I do not know what are causing my m/c's as the last one, I am still waiting on results to come through.
I have heard really good things about Liverpool Women's too, so I hope you get some positive results back.

The person I know who was treated at St marys had a blood clotting problem (APS) and once treated she had success in the end but it was a long road and she also had lots of early losses too.

If you have not long been under st marys, give it more time. If you can get pg I'm sure you can get there. I don't know how quickly you get pg in between your losses but maybe if you can allow yourself to rest for a bit, then you will feel stronger about going again.

polly xxx

Original poster
oinker · 24/03/2008 16:17

pollysue,

It has been nearly two years at St Marys.
They don't really offer anything more than aspirin and clexane. I have thick blood (hughes syndrome) one of the indicators of this is being able to get pregnant at the drop of a hat.....
If you are thinking of going to rof Regans clinic be aware they only do the routine blood tests, scans etc. They do not test for NK cells.

Doctor Shehata does both private and NHS in the Epsom area. If you are in London or close by check him out. He does all routine tests including the NK cell tests.

I have an appointment tomorrow atthe hospital just to check no bits are left after the m/c. I will then see a doctor. It will be the same old story..... Sorry...Blah, Blah, Blah.......... They have no other tests to carry out on me....

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