Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC - Thread 7. ALL welcome!

[Sunbird24]

Apologies, I didn’t realise the last thread had filled up.

Some links to online resources that may be useful to anyone currently or recently going through this awful experience:

www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/
www.tommys.org/
miss-support.org.uk/support/
blr.lifecharity.org.uk/
petalscharity.org/
www.miscarriageformen.com/

You are not alone - please post whatever you need, or just read if you aren’t ready to talk. I’ve had 5 MCs, and am now sadly at the end of my IVF journey, but want to keep this thread going for everyone else who might find it helpful.

Previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/talk/miscarriage/4559567-support-thread-for-those-experiencing-or-recently-experienced-a-mcmmc-thread-6-all-welcome?page=1

Hey all. I wondered if anyone who has had surgical management could give advice please? It's now been 7 weeks since my surgical management. I got negative test after 2 weeks and my scan was also clear. I had my period starting 8th oct.. However every 4-5 days I get some (quite mild) pain. It doesn't last long and is mild, but I just don't know if it's cycle related and perhaps its just my body getting back to normal, or whether I should worry?

I was checked via urine sample and swabs 2 weeks after and there was no signs of infection. I did have worse pain back then but they think it was some cysts clearing as there were cysts on ovaries before surgery but they were gone (they weren't concerned about cysts and said were part of most people's cycle). I'm 9-10 days dpo.

@Khanga27 I had medical management rather than surgical but I am quite a crampy person generally and often have cramps throughout the month even before pregnancy and the miscarriage so it's kind of normal for me but I think it has been slightly worse over the course of this first cycle post miscarriage. Do you have any discharge or anything that's worrying you too?

Thanks for your reply. Yeah I wonder if it has just been from cycle post-miscarriage. Discharge has just been milky and normal for where I am in cycle I think so not concerned there. Its not a terrible pain either where I need pain killers. I don't know if it's me feeling hyper-sensitive to every niggle in my cycle now compared to before

@Bugdem123 I also had medical management 4 weeks before as well as the day before my surgical management, maybe it's just been the toll of everything making me feel so sensitive to things. Its our first cycle of retrying TTC and I just feel on edge that something is wrong with my body.

Hi ladies... Tha is for all the good wishes but unfortunately not looking good here. HCG has barely risen since Tuesday. Have had a good cry and accepted my fate. For whatever reason, this just isn't my year. Very thoughtful of little bean to keep all the crappiness to the same weekend. I'm just hoping that the physical side of things doesn't drag on too long or cause any issues.

Positives I am choosing to focus on:

• it will be out of the way before Christmas
• we can focus on a fresh start in the new year
• will get my fertility referral now and hopefully some answers etc

It's not looked good from the beginning so at least it's not caught me completely off-guard like the MMC did. Still crappy though. It struck me that my friend who had the same due date as me now has her little girl, and all I've got to show in the same time-frame is 3 losses... 😌 what a year...

@SnookyPook I am so sorry to see this update, you have had it so tough. I hope the hospital are giving you good support through next steps. Thinking of you

@Khanga27 Ive had surgical twice before and I think sporadic pain is normal - well it was for me anyway and I actually found the same with my natural MC in August. I’m not sure whether it’s the body just trying to get back into a normal routine or whether we just feel so much more aware of every niggle but you’re definitely not alone! I’ve had two cycles since my MC and I didn’t notice much this cycle so it definitely wears off. But obviously if you’re worried at all, definitely speak to your GP 😘
@SnookyPook oh my gosh I’m so so sorry that you’re experiencing this for a third time. There are no words of comfort- it’s utterly shit and there’s no way of dressing it up. But I think you’re brilliant for being so positive. It can be so easy to lose yourself in sadness and frustration but you’re absolutely right to be looking to the future. Do you know what the next steps are? Will they scan you? Hopefully the referral will come through quickly and you get some answers. Sending you a huge hug xx

Thanks ladies 😌

@CrazyMILonthecase I'm waiting for a call-back from the doctor to discuss next steps etc. I think given weird HCG they'll want to rule out ectopic 😬 but my HCG is still well below 1000 so not sure a scan would show much. I'm sure they'll go through it all. I've started with some back pain since I heard... When I had the scan and found out about my MMC I started losing it that day so wonder if my body needs to confront the reality of the loss before it lets go and maybe I'll start losing it soon?! Anyway... Thanks for your support ladies. Xx

@SnookyPook Aww that made me feel sad 😞 I do hope it happens quickly for you so you’re not left in limbo much longer and you can at least deal with the “physical” side of things. Hope the nurses / doctors are empathetic and offer you the support you need. All here for you as and when you need to just have a good vent x

I’m so sorry @SnookyPook . Look after yourself xx

I'm quite scared tonight. Hospital have said they will check HCG levels again tomorrow and if there is a rise, they will want to treat for ectopic with methotrexate 😔 I now feel like I have a ticking time bomb in me. Also I know methotrexate isn't a very nice drug, although obviously preferable to a rupture etc. Just want it all over with now. 😞

@SnookyPook is methotrexate tablets or an injection? My HCG levels have went from 150 on Wednesday to 207 today so I have to go back up on Monday, get them checked again and if they’re still rising they said they’re gonna give me an injection? No clue what it is or what it’ll do to me I just know she said it’ll stop the HCG rising anymore

@SnookyPook oh how horrid for you. It must feel like endless hurdles for you 😞 I really hope it’s not ectopic and your HCG levels start to fall 🤞🏻but whatever the outcome, it’s good that they are monitoring you and are ready to take action so try not to worry about a ticking timebomb (easier said than done I know!!) If they do treat with methotrexate, I know it throws a spanner in the works for a few months but it will be temporary xx

@Jess1997 i think it comes in both forms as a drug but is most commonly used as an injection for ectopic pregnancies (from what I’ve heard from others and read). I would ask your EPU outright on Monday what the name of the injection is. I’m a bit surprised they didn’t give you any more info, they should really explain to you what it is etc. I’m sorry your levels are still rising - will keep my fingers crossed for you that they’ve gone down by Monday x

@CrazyMILonthecase im getting to see a consultant on Monday too and my mum will be there and she’s better at asking questions than I am 😂😂 she hasn’t been able to come to my appointments because my partner works full time and kids aren’t allowed in to the EPU so she’s been on baby sitting duties 😂 my partner was able to get Monday off thankfully so my mum can come with me!

@CrazyMILonthecase there was something on my scan today, they don’t know what but the midwife said in a normal circumstance she’d look past it but because it could be ectopic she has to treat it as suspicious even tho it doesn’t look like what an ectopic typically looks like

@Jess1997 oh I’m glad you’ve got your mum with you on Monday - it’s horrible going to these appointments alone (that’s what I’ve had to do a lot of the time too). Plus even better if she’s good at getting all the info you need! 👍🏻😀 Fingers crossed it’s not ectopic and your levels start playing ball! X

@Jess1997 sorry you're in a similar position. I don't know yet. They'll see what my HCG levels are doing tomorrow and then I'll have a proper consultation before next steps go ahead. X

@SnookyPook what were you HCG levels today? Mine are incredibly low but on the rise for some strange reason 🙃 the EPU I go to doesn’t open st the weekends so I have to wait until Monday for more bloods and my consultation

@Jess1997 Thursday's were only 637, from 598 on Tuesday. The 598 threw false hope because it had doubled perfectly from a few days before.

How far along are you? I'm 6+3 today.

I feel like I've had the worst luck in the world. MMC and ectopic are both supposed to be quite rare, and I've had both in the space of half a year 😩

That’s a lot higher than mine! I would technically be 8 weeks but o started bleeding nearly 3 weeks ago, assumed miscarriage, went to the EPU because my tests were getting lighter instead of darker, my HCG was only sitting at 40, then they checked again on Wednesday and it was 150 and today it was 207… still super super low but they don’t know why it’s increasing! I had a MMC in December, found out at my 12 week scan and baby was only measuring 8+4.. then a CP in March and another in July 🙃 right now they’re treating me as a suspected ectopic but they have no idea

@SnookyPook I meant my tests were getting darker instead of lighter 😂

@Jess1997 so sorry you've had such a shit year too. Mine was MMC April, CP Sept, suspected ectopic Oct. Right now I'm just feeling like I can't put myself through this again.. or my family. Perhaps in a way, it will be a silver lining to have a forced break from TTC if I have the methotrexate. Chance to forget it all and maybe seek some counselling etc before going again in the New Year. It's exhausting isn't it. Emotionally. I'm just glad this will hopefully be resolved well before Christmas. Just going to focus lots on my little toddler who I know I'm so lucky to have. It's been a shit year but hopefully it will be on the up from here.

Hope you get some clarity on Monday 🤞🏻 xx

@SnookyPook im sorry for you too! And if that’s what I’m getting I’ll probably have to have a break too 😭 been TTC for a year and a half now!
I am also so incredibly lucky to have a toddler too! She just turned 3 last month, and apart from her being breach and my blood pressure being high I had a pretty straight forward pregnancy with her! If I only knew then how lucky I was!

@Jess1997 aw my little one will be 3 in January. I had high BP in third trimester too but apart from that, as you say, plain sailing - I'm extra glad now as can't imagine going through the year I've just had but in Lockdown. I guess your DD is a lockdown baby too!

I never wanted a big age gap between siblings so that aspect of it has been one of the hardest things to get my head around. And I turn 38 in December so obviously that is also playing on my mind.

I guess it just is what it is. I think that's one of the hardest things about TTC is how little control we have over any of it.

I don't know about you but right now I'm more worried about the ectopic and getting through everything than I am sad about another loss. I mean, obviously I am gutted, but it's kind of taken second place to my own health right now. What a weird head space to be in.

Hope you're ok this morning. I'm in for more bloods this afternoon and then depending on those, the care plan will kick in from there.

Hope everyone else is doing ok today. X