Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC - Thread 7. ALL welcome!

[Sunbird24]

Apologies, I didn’t realise the last thread had filled up.

Some links to online resources that may be useful to anyone currently or recently going through this awful experience:

www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/
www.tommys.org/
miss-support.org.uk/support/
blr.lifecharity.org.uk/
petalscharity.org/
www.miscarriageformen.com/

You are not alone - please post whatever you need, or just read if you aren’t ready to talk. I’ve had 5 MCs, and am now sadly at the end of my IVF journey, but want to keep this thread going for everyone else who might find it helpful.

Previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/talk/miscarriage/4559567-support-thread-for-those-experiencing-or-recently-experienced-a-mcmmc-thread-6-all-welcome?page=1

@CrazyMILonthecase fingers crossed you get an understanding and helpful nurse who can put the wheels in motion to help somehow. If not, How long would your wait be if you had to wait until 6weeks?
Hope you get some help and support from them 🤞

@CrazyMILonthecase ah sorry Hun. I'm also a bit worried about ectopic.

So... I've not had the scan. They said the levels of HCG weren't high enough that they would be able to see anything meaningful. They were very lovely and made sure I was happy with what they meant etc and it does make sense. However, they did me a blood test and booked me in for a repeat on Thursday. The nurse I saw was really lovely and said in all likelihood it's not looking very hopeful, however there's an outside chance it stalled for some reason. We should have a clearer idea from the bloods today which she will do her best to get back to me with before her shift ends at 10pm.

The best news really is that, if it is indeed heading to be another loss, she can refer me directly to the fertility clinic here - she mentioned a consultant who I have heard good things about... So, hopefully the ball could get rolling quite quickly on that and I can at least also bypass my GP.

So, just waiting to see what today's bloods look like. Really can't imagine a positive outcome for this so hoping really for a clear drop today that will take any ambiguity away.

@CrazyMILonthecase Fingers crossed for you that you get some help from the EPU and you don't have to wait too long.

@SnookyPook Glad that you have at least had some clear advice and are feeling well looked after - that makes such a difference at a time of so much uncertainty. Really hope that the bloods can give you some clarity. ❤

@SnookyPook oh I’m so sorry you’re no closer to an answer. The waiting game is just so so awful 😞 I’m glad the nurses were lovely, you need that empathy at this time. I will keep my fingers crossed that your bloods give you a better idea of what’s going on 🤞🏻That’s great if you can get fast tracked to the fertility clinic, saves you the hurdle of getting through your gp first. I really feel your pain, this too will be my third loss in 5 months and it almost feels too much to bear xx
I decided to do a clear blue test as all my others had been “own brand” and I thought this might be more definitive. It’s come back negative which has actually made me feel a bit more hopeful that it will end in a chemical and be over soon - awful that I’m even thinking that way but I just want to be able to try again ☹️

@CrazyMILonthecase sorry this is happening to you - as you say hopefully your body will just do what it needs to so you know either way and it's not ectopic.

@SnookyPook I'm so glad you had such an empathetic and helpful nurse, it makes all the difference in these moments. Fingers crossed things are a bit clearer tonight for you x

Hello everyone, how are you all doing?

I had my period about 10 days ago, which was a big relief, and I finally got a negative pregnancy test after it ended. It's now been 5 weeks since my surgical management. It looks like I starting to ovulate, the opk are starting to show a faint line.

I'm grateful that my body knows what it's meant to be doing, and we're trying again, which is great, but I feel sad to be back in this place. A friend just announced she's having her 3rd baby and I feel happy for her but can't help feeling really sad about the baby we just lost, which would have been our 2nd. Still, I'm so grateful for being where we're at, and of course to have one child.

Thanks everyone...

Well the plot thickens and I'm still in limbo. So the nurse called me back last night... My bloods had perfectly doubled (twice) since last Thurs.. if it wasn't for that weird first week, they would be textbook. But I definitely ovulated when I thought and the BFP date confirms that. So I don't really know what to think. She said if they've doubled again by Thurs that will put me above threshold for a scan after all... I don't know whether to be glad that there still seems to be hope, or annoyed, which might sound really odd but I just can't help feeling it surely can't be great that the HCG dithered about so much in the first week?! I guess just keep taking it one day at a time as I have been doing and trust that I will cope with whatever is thrown my way... I still can't help feeling that it's unlikely to be a great outcome, but for now, I'm not out yet.

@WolfMother326 that's great that your body is starting to get back into its rhythms. It's so poignant after a loss isn't it when you want your period and ovulation to kick in so much but also, when it does it's a reminder of what you no longer have. Tough timing with your friend as well. My friend who had the same due date as me had her little girl yesterday and I'm genuinely thrilled for her but it is so surreal and sad to think that could have been me bringing a baby home around now.

@CrazyMILonthecase how are you doing? With my chemical last month I got a negative on CB digital and then started bleeding the next day. So if that is the case for you I hope it doesn't drag on too long. Sorry it's not looking good 😞

@SnookyPook oh god what an absolute head fuck for you! That’s such a difficult one, how are you coping with the uncertainty of it all? When are your next bloods? Are you booked in for a scan on Thursday? Sorry, that’s a lot of questions! I really really hope it turns out well and the first week was just an odd blip 🤞🏻
@WolfMother326 Thats good news your body is getting back into a rhythm but im
sorry about your friends announcement knocking you. It’s just so tough, you want to be happy for them but it just serves as a painful reminder of what you’ve lost 😞

Im still stuck in limbo - no bleeding as yet. I got my positive test last Friday so I was hoping it might have started by now but not nothing? No cramping, no “period” symptoms at all. I just want it to be done so I can look forward and try again. Right now I just feel so sad that I’m in the throes of a third loss and I desperately need something to look forward to / work towards else it just feels all so hopeless x

@CrazyMILonthecase next bloods tomorrow aft and then depending on those, potentially a scan Friday morning. Head fuck is about right! It's really weird but I almost feel like I've entered some weird kind of twilight zone. It's like the Shroedinger's pregnancy... Both pregnant and not at the same time. I just can't buy into it, yet there's enough hope there that I also can't let go of it. It's weird to think that if I hadn't had the bloods done I would just be thinking I'm halfway through the first trimester now and as no spotting etc, probably presuming/hoping all is going ok. That said, it is making me wonder if things were very similar in April with the MMC. It stopped developing at 7+5 (although I didn't find out for another month). I just don't know. I feel quite detached from it all. But as I'm so braced for it going wrong, the days are kind of whizzing by in a weird way. It's also been a big distraction from my looming due date (30th Oct) which I suppose is good in a way. A reminder that life, the good and bad, carries on regardless.

Sorry, gone on a major ramble there! I'm in a very weird place!!

I'm so sorry that you're feeling hopeless. I've certainly been there. There's not really anything to say is there. I hope that this doesn't drag on much longer for you. I always find that in a weird way, although I dread the bleeding and the finality etc, once it actually arrives, there's a weird sort of release and relief. I guess hormonal to some extent. But take care of yourself. Xx

Sorry I wrote in this the other day then forgot all about it!
has anyone had anything similar happen?? I went last Monday to the EPU, they did an internal scan which showed nothing and my bloods had a HCG level of 40, they told me to call back this Monday if my tests are still positive, which they are.. so I went back today for another internal scan and again they seen nothing and don’t worry she made sure to check everywhere 🙃 so she told me it my HCG is around 40 still they’ll want more bloods in 48 hours but she expects them to be around 25.. she called me a few hours later and they’re now 150! Which is still incredibly low but definitely higher! So I’ve to go back on Friday for more bloods. She said herself she doesn’t understand why they’re rising so I am so confused

@SnookyPook You didn’t ramble at all and twilight zone sums it up pretty well! I can imagine you’ve got conflicting emotions going on. I think once you’ve been through a MC / multiple MCs you can’t quite believe that it will work the next time anyway but of course you can’t let go of that hope. It’s especially difficult for you as you’ve been prepared for it to be bad news only to be thrown a positive (!) curveball today. Really hope tomorrow’s bloods show further progress and they can scan you on Friday and I really hope it will all work out for you.
I keep knicker checking for blood 😞 It petrifies me to have to check while im
pregnant and here I am actually just wishing it would happen now so I can feel that relief that things are moving forward. What a sad reality! 🙄
@Jess1997 oh gosh how confusing for you! I’m so sorry I don’t have any advice - I haven’t been in that situation but I do hope you get some answers on Friday x

@WolfMother326 Thanks for checking in on everyone. It's really positive that your body is getting back into some sort of routine and that you got that negative pregnancy test. Sorry to hear you're having to deal with baby announcements - it's really tough when you don't begrudge anyone their own joy but have that reminder that you're missing out on something. Good luck with restarting TTC, fingers crossed for you that you get a sticky bean soon.

@SnookyPook Really hope it goes well this afternoon and the bloods look positive - can understand why you're not investing too much into it after your earlier losses, but you never know, this could yet be the one.

@CrazyMILonthecase Sorry to hear that you are still stuck in limbo, that is so frustrating and confusing for you. Have you contacted your EPU? They might be able to help with bloods and booking an early scan if/when you reach 6 weeks?

@Jess1997 I haven't had that experience, but just wanted to offer some support and I hope you get to understand what's going on soon.

I'm struggling quite badly this week - just feeling really sad and angry a lot of the time, and I feel like I've taken a few steps backwards from where I was. I've also got a whole bunch of difficult stuff going on at work, so it's all kind of meshing together and I can't separate out how much of it is the miscarriage and how much of it is work frustration and upset. I think the further I get into what should have been my pregnancy, the more I'm noticing the things I don't have - some of it is just completely stupid little things like not having one of those 'baby on board' badges to wear on the tube, but it all just adds to the sense that things aren't where I thought they were going to be. I'm certain that some of it is linked to the fact that my period hasn't come back yet and I'm getting frustrated about that (very weird to think that having my period might actually put me in a better mood!), and I'm trying to tell myself rationally that my body will sort itself out and it will do what it's meant to do again, but right now I just feel like I'm in no man's land and finding it really, really hard. Argh, sorry for the moan!

@CluelessInLondon it IS really really hard and those random little moments are the ones that can hit you the hardest. I remember a couple of months after my MMC, I went to London for my MiLs 70th and my very pregnant SiL was with us. At one of the stations, one of the staff saw her and made a massive fuss of her and got her one of those 'Baby on Board' badges and it broke me. Sending you a big hug. Roll with it xxx

Thanks for the ongoing support ladies. It's all so surreal. I don't really have any symptoms though and still not really expecting a good outcome. It's very weird to think though, that if I hadn't had bloods done, I'd be non-the-wiser. Blood test not until later this afternoon so it'll be a while before I get any updated insights!

Hope everyone is ok today. X

@CluelessInLondon oh I’m sorry to hear you’re struggling. Having stress at work certainly doesn’t help because everything can feel a bit overwhelming and bleak. Don’t be too hard on yourself - it’s totally natural to have days where you feel like you’re doing ok only to feel desperately low / sad / angry the next day/ week. I hope your period turns up soon and that helps you to feel like you’re moving forward 🤞🏻
@SnookyPook good luck with the bloods later! Got everything crossed for you x
So I’ve started spotting…looks like the wait is finally over. I feel a weird mix of relief and utter sadness - how is this my third loss in six months???? I want to stay hopeful but honestly, the reality that I will ever carry a baby full term again feels like it’s slipping further and further away ☹️ sorry to be a downer! X

Hi everyone - spiralling a little bit so could do with a hand hold. All happened naturally last week but my tests aren't getting lighter (testing once a day since last Friday - so a week's worth). I KNOW I'm not meant to test so often but is this suggesting retained products? It's almost 1.5 weeks since the miscarriage. I just want it over with

@ThelastRolo20 hiya! I’m so sorry that you are going through this. But I can definitely see the tests getting lighter. Have you made an appointment at the early pregnancy unit? I was having the same problems last week and they scanned me a did my bloods, my miscarriage started 2.5 weeks ago and my tests are still positive and the HCG in my blood is rising. I defo recommend giving them a call if you haven’t already

@ThelastRolo20 I can definitely see the tests getting lighter too. It can take at least 2-3 weeks to get a negative test (I got mine at 3 weeks, although I only did tests 2 and 3 weeks after my surgery as I knew testing regularly would make me really anxious). Try to go a few days without testing if you can - maybe just try to leave it 2 or 3 full days? - and then do another one, and contact the EPU if it's still positive. I've also read that for some women it just takes longer for the HCG to drop so it may not be a sign of anything wrong.

@CrazyMILonthecase Sorry to hear about the spotting - can't offer much advice but just sending you a hug.

@ThelastRolo20 yes I see them getting lighter too. Like @CluelessInLondon , I only tested 2 and 3 weeks post miscarriage and I got my negative on the 3 week one. If you can, I'd step back from the tests for a few days and try again. I would contact your EPU if you're still getting positive at 3 weeks post-loss (unless they said to do so earlier). X

@ThelastRolo20 im with the other ladies - your tests are definitely getting lighter so don’t panic! It took me a good couple of weeks for tests to turn negative so don’t worry that they’re still positive at 1.5 weeks. If you leave it a week I’m sure you’ll see a much fainter / possibly negative test x

@CluelessInLondon Thank you ☺️ x

Thank you everyone. Going to step away from the tests until Tuesday which will be the 2 week mark.

I just want it over with, but I guess it's just a waiting game. It's made me more relaxed knowing it's taken 3 weeks for some of you so thank you xx

@CluelessInLondon sorry you've been struggling. I've been similar, swinging between feeling okay, to being angry, to being so sad. I'm not sure if being back at work is helping or not, just going to try and push through.

I'm also looking forward to things going back to normal. It's really difficult knowing there's nothing we can do other than wait xx

@SnookyPook I'm keeping everything crossed the blood results are going the right way and you're able to get a scan. What a head fuck but I hope so much it's all going the right way.

@CrazyMILonthecase I'm so sorry you're in this situation again. It's just so unbelievably shit.

@Jess1997 that sounds so confusing. I hope you get some answers and certainty too.

@ThelastRolo20 it definitely looks like your tests are getting lighter. I was told to wait 3 weeks before I tested and I was negative by then, so maybe wait until then and test again? It's so hard though.

@CluelessInLondon I'm sorry you're struggling so much this week. I'm feeling the same way - it feels like the sky is falling in and I don't really know what to do to make it any better. Sending you a big hug hopefully tomorrow is a better day for us all.

@Bugdem123 thank you hun, it's okay, just swings and roundabouts with emotions

@CrazyMILonthecase I hope you're doing okay, the waiting must be really hard - look after yourself

@Jess1997 this must be so confusing for you! Hopefully you get some answers soon

@SnookyPook also hoping you get answers soon, this must be so hard mentally.

Apparently I have ZERO willpower and tested today but it's significantly lighter so has actually helped. Just a reminder to everyone that this is shit, and tough - at the beginning of the thread there's places we can all go for support if we need it (alongside our wonderful selves). What are people's weekend plans? Xx

@ThelastRolo20 that definitely looks lots lighter.

Thanks everyone - still waiting on the latest bloods. Feels interminable! I just rang the unit though and they've not had them back yet so it isn't just that they're not rushing because they're crap. 🤷🏼‍♀️🙏