Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC - Thread 7. ALL welcome!

[Sunbird24]

Apologies, I didn’t realise the last thread had filled up.

Some links to online resources that may be useful to anyone currently or recently going through this awful experience:

www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/
www.tommys.org/
miss-support.org.uk/support/
blr.lifecharity.org.uk/
petalscharity.org/
www.miscarriageformen.com/

You are not alone - please post whatever you need, or just read if you aren’t ready to talk. I’ve had 5 MCs, and am now sadly at the end of my IVF journey, but want to keep this thread going for everyone else who might find it helpful.

Previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/talk/miscarriage/4559567-support-thread-for-those-experiencing-or-recently-experienced-a-mcmmc-thread-6-all-welcome?page=1

@SnookyPook I'm so sorry. Sending love xx

@SnookyPook I am so sorry you are facing this stress after what you have already faced. I really hope that your scan and second hcg reading gives some more positive news, but whatever happens I'm sending a virtual hug x

@SnookyPook I’m so so sorry, it’s just so shit. I’d have been 6 weeks yesterday, wish I could give you a giant hug. Hope the scan tomorrow bring good news, and if not then at least gets you some answers. Have you had tests done before?

@ThelastRolo20 @Gemandi2 @CluelessInLondon @CrazyMILonthecase @Noodles4Me thanks all so much for your answers. I put my big girl pants on and messaged him at lunch and he was lovely - immediately rang me (which was nice but also horrifying as my hormones are just all over so I spent the entire time just desperately trying not to blub and snot everywhere) but was basically just like that’s shit and please just let me know whatever you need.

On GP, they already know I’ve had just the 2 but I’ve sent them this link ( https://www.tommys.org/our-research/referrals-our-clinics/referrals-our-miscarriage-clinics#) to push for some tests they can do / a referral to Coventry and pushed the whole ‘my mental health really can’t take another loss if it’s preventable’ which is 1000% true and I hope resonates - they’ve said they’ll email me back tomorrow.

On bloods, they’ve been doing them every 2 days and while they’re falling it’s not halving as it should be, even though I’ve been bleeding since Weds, so they’re going to scan tomorrow to check (I think) for leftover tissue / ectopic. They’re lovely just not very good at telling you what’s going on a lot of the time. Reassuring to know a few of you are having / have had the same thing though xxx

@SnookyPook I am so so sorry for you sending you a big hug and support x

@PADonk well done glad you braved it and so glad you got the response you need,deserved and are entitled!

@PADonk So pleased that you were able to tell your line manager and that you know there's support for you from work - I think overwhelmingly people are sympathetic in this type of situation. Hopefully it helps you and gives you reassurance you don't have to worry about work while you deal with this.

@PADonk well done - I hope letting them know makes you feel a bit better. Being at work is so tough when going through this.

I'm just doing daily pregnancy tests. Analysing the difference! Driving me mad - I'm so impatient! Glad you're going for a scan, hopefully it sorts it either way x

Oh @SnookyPook I’m so sorry you’re here, again, facing the possibility of another loss and feeling the huge weight of worry, sadness and hopelessness as you wait. It’s so unfair.

Go gently with yourself, as much as you can. One day at a time - see what tomorrow’s scan brings and go from there. You don’t need to think about TTC again yet. Of course you can’t muster up any hope or excitement for that - that’s a feeling for another day.

You’ve been so kind and supportive to others on these threads. I hope you can find some company and solace here if you need it.

@SnookyPook I'm so sorry it wasn't good news today. I'll keep my fingers crossed that the scan is better and I'll be thinking of you. It's so unbelievably sh*tty and unfair.

My period started overnight. So far not too heavy but really painful. Feel very mixed about it - pleased things are doing what they should, hopeful that maybe things will happen this cycle but still so so bloody sad that this is where I am.

@SnookyPook oh my gosh I’m so sorry. It’s so incredibly difficult to take and I get feeling totally hopeless and sad about the whole thing. I really hope the scan gives you some answers tomorrow - sometimes the unknown and waiting can be worse because you’re stuck in limbo. Don’t even think about TTC yet, like a PP said, that’s definitely for another day. Just take small steps each day for now. Sending you a huge hug xx
@PADonk im so glad you told them and got the supportive response you needed - that’s one weight off your shoulders at least.

Things are not looking good my end. I caved and got another test (of course I did! 🤦‍♀️) and it’s the same / maybe a tad lighter. After a couple of days it should definitely be darker so I also stocked up on sanitary towels etc. Now it’s just a waiting game 😞

@CrazyMILonthecase thanks 🙏🏼 I don’t blame you at all for testing, the urge is overwhelming, but if you’ve only just found out then remember the actual absolute changes on a daily basis will still be super small at the minute. Have you tried progesterone before? I’d definitely be tempted to give it a try. Sending tons of love and luck your way xx

Thanks so much everyone. It's rubbish but I'll be ok. The vague and thin silver lining is that now I officially qualify for further help and investigations. Hopefully will get a whole load more support if/when I get the next BFP.

@CrazyMILonthecase really hope you are wrong and that you have better luck than me..! Keep us posted. 💕

@PADonk so glad that your boss was supportive ❤️

@PADonk thank you ☺️ I haven’t tried progesterone before as I was told by the consultant at the recurrent miscarriage clinic not to take it as that wasn’t the issue. Tests on one MC revealed a random chromosomal issue so they told me it was just a matter of egg quality and progesterone wouldn’t make any difference. I think the sonographer at my
most recent MC felt sorry for me and prescribed it as a way of giving me “something” to hold on to but she said that it could just delay the inevitable. I’m glad I didn’t take it as I actually miscarried naturally later that day and I would have hated for it to drag out any longer ☹️ It’s so difficult knowing what’s wrong / right / for the best. I’m nearly 40 and I don’t want to lose valuable time either!
@SnookyPook we’re all here and rooting for you. If it does turn out to be bad news, I really hope you get all the help / investigations you need to get that sticky bean. Sending huge hugs x

@Jetlaggedgirl @CA91 @Phoenixwings1989 @treehousethunderstorm @OhGodIAmTired @krissy12 @BEL88 @Eggling @countrypunk @Shayisgreat @Mikkelsmum @38andtrying @Hopefulhoney6 @Clingthefilm @Emmab85 @Laura7899 @StarBug12 @Shyquiet @JumbleJo @fleur89

Before this thread fills up I just wanted to reach out to those who joined around the time I did back in Feb. I hope the past months have brought healing, hope and needed closure.
I'm so grateful to have had this space to write everything out, to not be judged and to have had such lovely, caring and kind support. 🩷
Thanks again @Sunbird24 for starting this thread and so bravely sharing your own journey. 🩷🩷🩷

If my pregnancy had gone to term, the due date was last week. Life could be looking very different now.

Oh @Shayisgreat I'm sorry. My date was Aug and it was rough. I understand. 💐
How have you been coping these past months?

@SnookyPook good luck at your scan today - hope you get an answer ❤️ x

@SnookyPook hope the scan goes well x

Not sure if anyone else has been in a similar situation, my SIL is having a planned section next week which is great and I'm thrilled for her and my brother. But I do kind of wish she'd stop constantly messaging me about it and all her symptoms 😂 maybe it's me and I should just get over it but it just makes me feel a bit sad, I did say to her I'd love to be having pregnancy symptoms - didn't stop her. I suppose I should be pleased she feels able to reach out to me for support. Anyway, rambling over, thankfully my bleeding has stopped. Still getting strong positives though but guess it's only been a week

@ThelastRolo20 That's so insensitive of your SIL - it's absolutely not you and you don't need to get over it! Do you know her well enough/are you close enough to be able to just say outright to her that as happy as you are for her, considering what you're going through at the moment you would prefer it if she didn't keep messaging about her pregnancy?
Good news that your bleeding has stopped, hope you get that negative test soon.

Thinking of you today @SnookyPook ❤

@Bugdem123 It's not where you wanted to be but it's good that your period has come back - it's a good sign that your body is getting back into a rhythm. I am desperate for my period to come back, which feels like a weird thing to really want. 😅I hope the pain is getting better and you're taking it easy.

@CrazyMILonthecase How are you doing today?

@CluelessInLondon we have similar timeframes with our MCs and surgeries etc, and my period is finally here almost 4 weeks exactly since surgery so fingers crossed for you too. x

Hope all okay with you everyone xx

@ThelastRolo20 you are definitely not being unreasonable, that is completely out of line. My twin is due to give birth any day and the whole timings been horrific from start to finish - she found out she was pregnant about a week after my 1st mc and then this one was 2 days before her due date - but, bar a bit of a blip right at the start, she’s been so understanding about my situation and my need to step away for my own sanity. I can’t understand why anyone who’s pregnant would feel it’s acceptable to be messaging you about it, nevermind moaning. Im so sorry you’re having to deal with it, and you should absolutely feel free to say ‘I’m happy for you but given what I’m going through I just need space’. Sending hugs 💕💕

@ThelastRolo20 I agree with what others have said above, of course we can and are still happy for those expecting LO's but right now being happy for them is one thing, talking about there incoming bundle all the time is another thing altogether. If you do feel comfortable enough say something to just remind her of you and your feelings - big hugs to you tho

@Noodles4Me glad your period has arrived (so bizarre when we say these things) and hope it's not too heavy or painful and u can start to look and plan to the future x

@PADonk @Gemandi2 @CluelessInLondon thanks everyone, it's an emotional mine field isn't it! Hope everyone is doing okay. I'm back at work and overall I think it's helping but I've definitely had some moments

@ThelastRolo20 oh my god I think your SIL is being so insensitive! You are completely justified feeling the way you do - that would drive me mad too! I’m amazed she didn’t get the hint when you mentioned symptoms 🤦‍♀️ I’m so sorry, it makes it tough when someone close to you is pregnant while you’re experiencing a MC x
@PADonk oh that must be so tough with your twin being pregnant too. Life feels like it plays cruel jokes at time ☹️ I’m glad she’s been sensitive towards you x
@CluelessInLondon I’m ok thank you. I tested again today and the test is the same. Now I’m spiralling thinking what if it’s ectopic rather than a chemical!? With my previous chemicals the tests got lighter over 5 days and then bleeding would start a few days later but now mine seem to have just plateaued (far too light for where they should be though) and I’m worried why it’s not just resolving itself? I’m high risk for ectopic because of scar tissue so it’s always at the back of my mind and I get scanned early for that reason. I just called my EPU to see if I could get bloods done (my doc isn’t overly helpful!) and the receptionist said they don’t do that without a scan first which would mean waiting until 6 weeks but is getting a nurse to call me back so 🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻 x