Journey after miscarriage support thread Jan 2023

[Fairylight102]

I wondered if anyone out there would be interested in joining a thread for those who have recently experienced a miscarriage - a place to share how we’re feeling emotionally, physical recovery, becoming ready to try again (for those that want to), and hopefully one day positive stories of successful preganancies.

I’m 32 and recently had a miscarriage at 5-6 weeks of my first pregnancy. I was relieved to have conceived after quite a short time, because I have PCOS and was worried I might struggle to get pregnant.

My miscarriage was about 2 and half weeks ago now, and today is the first day I’ve not had any spotting/bleeding at all, and that has been a relief to feel like my body is moving on from it. I know it’s advisable to do a pregnancy test a few weeks after miscarriage, which is something I’m a bit anxious about doing as I’m fairly sure it will be an emotional thing to do.

Since it happened my sleep pattern and energy levels have been a bit all over the place. Some days I’ve just wanted to sleep all the time, which I think could be a mix of actual physical tiredness and also emotional tiredness/hormonal changes. I was back at work for the first time today, and it was helpful to have something else to focus on and motivate myself for.

I’ve restarted tracking my BBT to see what happens with my cycle returning, though I’m aware it could take a while to get back to normal. My husband and I are both on the same page that we’d like to try again once I’ve had one normal period, so I guess we’ll just see how things go and how we feel when we reach this point.

Sorry this has turned into a longer post than I expected! Anyway, if there’s anyone out there who’s had a similar experience recently and would like a place to share feelings/questions/advice it would be lovely to hear from others.

Hello,
Thank you for sharing your story.
I am also currently going through a miscarriage at 6.5 weeks. It started on Sunday and have been bleeding constantly since but the pain has been manageable- just light cramps. I'm pretty sure I may have already miscarried the sack as the cramps subdued after that and I am passing clots now when I go to the toilet. I have a scan tomorrow which I believe will confirm things. I also took a pregnancy test today and can see the line is lighter than about 10 days ago. I had headaches last week which I now think may have been the start and connected to a drop in hormones. I also commented to my husband how I hadn't been nauseous like last time.
I already have a DS who is 18 months old and had no complications with him and he was conceived quickly.
I am keen to TTC soon as I would like a 2 year ish gap between my son and another child but this has made me realise I need to let go of wanting to plan everything meticulously. It is complicated by my husband working away quite frequently- sometimes 10 days in a row so I'm not sure he will plan around this without my regular cycles. I know it shouldn't be my biggest worry but it is at the moment. I have ordered some ovulation kits in hopes we might be able to work out when my cycles might be - even roughly.
I haven't been back to work and don't intend to this week. I am also starting a new role - an internal move for which I am waiting for a start date so that's on my mind. I might try and push this back by a week or two.
I will update tomorrow after the scan and see what they see and recommend.

@AnotherEllie So sorry you’re going through this at the moment. Hope the scan tomorrow gives you some clarity about what has happened and what happens going forwards from here.

Thank you.

I hope you're feeling okay? I hope your cycle returns quickly and this is just a blip. I'm very sorry this happened to you on your first time - that must be really hard.

I've really struggled with sleep too. I often feel wired and anxious at night. Have you found it has settled now? I think it may be anxiety and progesterone levels.

I feel incredibly emotional - like a hormonal teenager. I know I'm upset but it is definitely amplified by the hormones.

Have you seen a GP at all? I'm not sure what the normal process is - if there is one?

I definitely agree about the hormones amplifying everything. Since it happened I’ve had various ups and downs, sometimes feeling upset about a specific thing (like realising my sense of smell had returned to normal), or other times just feeling tearful but without an actual reason I could put my finger on, which I assume must be hormonal.

Generally I’m managing to go to sleep at night, but sometimes waking up for a few hours in the middle of the night. I’m hoping that being back at work and having a fixed wake-up time again will force my body clock to reset.

I haven’t seen the GP yet. I tried to get an appointment between Christmas and New Year when I was feeling really drained, but I’m not sure now if I need to or not. When I was last seen by the EPU they didn’t say much about ongoing treatment, though they did give me the details for a counselling organisation.

Hope you managed to get some rest tonight.

Hi both, so sorry to hear what you’re going through, it was comforting to read this and hear similar stories. First post on here so please bear with me!

I had a missed miscarriage on 2/12/22, should have been 11 weeks but baby was only measuring around 6 weeks and no heartbeat. I’ve ended up needing a D&C tomorrow because my body is silly and can’t seem to let go of everything. It’s incredibly frustrating as I already had medical management and feels like I’m going to have to start the recovery all over again. This is my first mc.

I’m 31 and have a 2yo boy already and like @AnotherEllie would like a relatively small age gap. My husband works nights and I work days so it is tricky to be together very often!

@Fairylight102 thats really good that you’ve stopped bleeding, as that’s likely to mean that you’re on your way to healing. I hope everything returns to normal for you soon.

Thank you for sharing your story and so sorry to hear what you are going through.

I hope the D&C goes okay. That must be so tough and frustrating but please don't blame yourself. @Dragonfly91 I am 30 as well so very similar in terms of our ages / children.

@Fairylight102 that sounds so much like my experience. Fortunately, I had a good night's sleep last night for the first time in around a week so I'm taking that as a small victory. I am feeling less emotional today too but I think it will be hard later with the scan. It's at 4.10 so quite a wait. My husband is back to work today and son is at nursery so I think I will have a day resting in bed.

I will probably ask today if there is a requirement to see a GP. I suppose if there are no further complications, it may not be necessary?

It's really nice to speak to people in similar situations and hopefully we will have better news in time.

Hi all, I'm sorry we have to be members of this club but hoping for good news for us all this year!

Had a blighted ovum in December, discovered at 7 weeks, was surgically managed (suction under general anaesthetic) a week later as there was no sign of my body miscarrying naturally. Fortunately it was very easy and totally pain free and my hormones don't seem too all over the place, and HCG had dropped significantly 5 days after the procedure. Hope your D&C is equally smooth @Dragonfly91

My doctor has said to wait 2 cycles before trying again, is this similar advice to what you received? Feeling very impatient to try again!

@AnotherEllie similar to you I have a 19 month old, easy and almost instant first pregnancy, and was sad that this pregnancy wasn't successful as it would have been almost exactly a 2 year age gap between them. Fingers crossed for a late 2023 baby!

Hi, this is my first post here and I’m sorry to meet you all under such sad circumstances.

It took me over a year to conceive what would have been my first baby. Finding out we were pregnant (naturally) whilst being one week into IVF was the happiest feeling.

I had some bleeding at 6 weeks and was eventually diagnosed with a subchronic Hematoma (basically a bruise in the uterus that should heal, but until it does, can cause heavy bleeding).

The pregnancy was a rollercoaster from then on, but things ultimately settled and we felt positive. Unfortunately, at 11 weeks the amniotic sac had ruptured and it was confirmed at my 12 weeks scan that I had miscarried.

I had a D&C on the 12th December. In comparison to the pregnancy the miscarriage has been fairly uneventful (thankfully) and seems pretty text book with regards to bleeding for 10 days, hormones settling and getting a negative pregnancy test on Boxing Day. Merry Christmas!!

After waiting for so long to actually conceive, I am desperate to get pregnant again although am prepared for it to take some time.

I believe every miscarriage is different and so your GP will advise based on your individual circumstances how long you should wait to TTC. Mine said I can start trying when we are ready.

@Dragonfly91 i hope you’re D&C goes well. Take some time to rest afterwards if you can.

@Fairylight102 Thank you for starting this thread, it’s helpful to connect with others going through loss

I'm currently experiencing my second missed miscarriage (I'm ten weeks and baby stopped growing at nearly eight). The first was a blighted ovum back in April which I went down the medication route for.

This one is being surgically managed on Friday.

I'm old at 36 and have a two year old son. We've been trying for a year now for baby number two and have male factor fertility issues so were aware it could take a long time. The miscarriages have knocked us for six though.

We're now on the IVF pathway as I can't waste any more time.

I hope we all get our rainbows soon.

@TheBirdintheCave so sorry that you are experiencing your second loss.

Please go easy on yourself regarding your age. I am 37 and have been surprised by how many times I have been called ‘young’ by professionals, firstly whilst TTC (we had tests and appointments to check all was ok) and then when I did conceive and was under a consultant. I was conscious of being older and this did reassure me.

I currently have 2 friends who had perfect pregnancy’s and healthy baby’s at 40.

Will they perform any tests since this is your second loss?

Good morning so sad to meet u all in these circumstances. I’m 39 ( and a half 😬) we fell pregnant on our 1st try in October and I was sooo happy couldn’t believe our luck. But then at our scan it was found we had a blighted ovum, they scanned after 2 weeks and there was a pole and yolk etc but no heartbeat so had to wait another week but then it was confirmed. I chose to take misoprostol ( or whatever it’s called ) went for a scan last week and there is a fingernail sized piece of tissue with a blood supply still in my womb, they gave me antibiotics and a scan in 2 weeks to see if it has gone. My MC started 3 weeks yesterday and my pregnancy tests are getting lighter but I still have faint positives. I just need this over so I can start trying again esp due to my age. Much love to you all as this totally sucks and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone xxx

@Chocolatebean so sorry to hear that you are going though this too. It’s an incredibly heartbreaking experience, I too would not wish this on anyone.

I know it goes against what we are told not to say but, you did get pregnant on the first try which is fantastic. I completely understand there are no guarantees for what the future holds, but we must hold onto these positive little nuggets in an otherwise uncertain future.

I am trying to remain positive in the fact I got pregnant at all, after what seemed like forever in TTC. It’s hard when you already feel you are against the (biological) clock, or just have an ideal timeline in mind like others on this thread.

I hope you get a negative test soon and you are able to try again.

@Raey That's true I suppose in terms of age. The consultant did say that to me yesterday. I think a large part of it for me is the age gap between my son and his sibling. I only wanted a small gap and it's just getting wider as the months go on.

Hi Raey thanks so much for the kind words really need them at the minute. I’m going to try eating healthy as I was being so good when we conceived so will start the same again in hopes it happens again I’ve just eaten total crap since it happens and I don’t really feel like eating healthy but it must be done lol.
bird in cage I have a gap of 7 years between 2 of my children and tbh it’s been great no regrets so don’t stress too much xxx

Ooooh how do I put your names in bold I’m a total tech no phobe lol

@Chocolatebean Type '@' and a drop down of names will appear :)

@TheBirdintheCave thank you so much am going to attempt a healthy smoothie this morning I have some wheatgrass left. Hooray not lol 🤢. May as well try and get in better shape for when I can try again. I have a scan and Hosp appt a week tomorrow to see if that piece of product is still there with its blood supply 🤦‍♀️

That's how I feel too @Chocolatebean. I've ordered some more multivitamins and going to try and get out and walk lots, plenty of fresh air and just try and heal my body. Will try and eat better but not so good at that!
I also read something about how the days will soon get longer and that made me feel better too.
I'm trying to reduce my time on social media as a lot of stuff about babies and pregnancy which I don't really want to see at the moment.
We did a house renovation too last year so thinking about picking up some little projects again as I have more time now my son is in nursery.
Also, this may not help others but I've been trying to think about the things I can do in summer which wouldn't have been possible with a newborn. I'm thinking camping, maybe a festival or a concert etc - even if I do end up pregnant!

That’s a great idea, this time last year I was in such good shape I was cycling an hour a day now I sleep an hour a day instead and that just can’t continue. I can’t believe how much it’s taken out of me. I keep thinking about going to the gp about some anti depressants but would rather not if I can manage without them xxx

@AnotherEllie i definitely think planning some fun days out and holidays helps.

I feel my life has been on hold for the past year as Iv been conscious of planning things thinking I’d be pregnant or have a baby.

It’s sad to still be in the same position so far down the line. I feel the miscarriage has set me back so much. But doing/planning nice things and being healthy has to be a good thing.

Is anyone tracking their ovulation with OPK’s?. I have been doing this since the bleeding stopped to try and work out what my body was doing. Been consistently negative and now on Cd24 so I’m assuming I probably won’t ovulate this cycle. Bring on the period!

@Raey Oh and no, no testing :( I did ask but three is the magic number in our hospital. Seems very unfair.

Planning fun things to do definitely helps. I'm considering booking a holiday once we know our IVF dates as we weren't originally going to go away this year because I was due in July.

I really understand that. It makes it so hard to plan things, doesn't it @Raey ? I felt it was hard enough whilst ttc (you know like family talking about loose plans and not being very committal) but then having this happen seems to make it feel even harder as so much harder to predict cycles and how our bodies will recover. I will be interested to hear people's experiences over the coming months with returning to some sort of normality.

I plan to track ovulation from around a weeks time.

I did read that ovulation happens approx 2 weeks after a negative pregnancy test but I honestly have no idea if that's true and tbh, everything I've read suggests there's a lot of variability. I find the uncertainty so difficult as I am such a planner. I think that's why tracking ovulation feels like a good idea - just to get some sense of what might be happening.

I am thinking of a holiday in July too.

I’m sad to be part of this “club”. I experienced my 3rd miscarriage in Dec at just over 5 weeks. I had an ectopic in October and another 5 week miscarriage in June. I have a 3 year old, that was an easy conception, pregnancy and birth.

We’re going for private fertility MOT at the end of the month

Hello, can I join please? I have a 15 month DD and I've just had my second MMC. The first was in September, I was meant to be 8 weeks but it stopped growing at 6. This one, I was meant to be 9+4 but it died at 7+3. I've just had a D&C today as my body wasn't sorting itself out, was a very quick procedure, just sore and tired now. We're going to have a couple months off TTC before we try again, the physical and mental toll has been awful. So sorry that we all find ourselves here and I hope that 2023 is much kinder to us all.