Journey after miscarriage support thread Jan 2023

[Fairylight102]

I wondered if anyone out there would be interested in joining a thread for those who have recently experienced a miscarriage - a place to share how we’re feeling emotionally, physical recovery, becoming ready to try again (for those that want to), and hopefully one day positive stories of successful preganancies.

I’m 32 and recently had a miscarriage at 5-6 weeks of my first pregnancy. I was relieved to have conceived after quite a short time, because I have PCOS and was worried I might struggle to get pregnant.

My miscarriage was about 2 and half weeks ago now, and today is the first day I’ve not had any spotting/bleeding at all, and that has been a relief to feel like my body is moving on from it. I know it’s advisable to do a pregnancy test a few weeks after miscarriage, which is something I’m a bit anxious about doing as I’m fairly sure it will be an emotional thing to do.

Since it happened my sleep pattern and energy levels have been a bit all over the place. Some days I’ve just wanted to sleep all the time, which I think could be a mix of actual physical tiredness and also emotional tiredness/hormonal changes. I was back at work for the first time today, and it was helpful to have something else to focus on and motivate myself for.

I’ve restarted tracking my BBT to see what happens with my cycle returning, though I’m aware it could take a while to get back to normal. My husband and I are both on the same page that we’d like to try again once I’ve had one normal period, so I guess we’ll just see how things go and how we feel when we reach this point.

Sorry this has turned into a longer post than I expected! Anyway, if there’s anyone out there who’s had a similar experience recently and would like a place to share feelings/questions/advice it would be lovely to hear from others.

It helps do much to read this thread and know other people are going through the same thing.

I'm having one of those days where my mood is very low and I'm convinced another baby isn't going to happen for me.

On one hand I'm desperate for the bleeding to finish so we can start trying again. The other side of me thinks 'what's the point?' and dreading going through the merry-go-round of waiting to ovulate, waiting to test, waiting to ovulate, waiting to test. Only for it to end in tears again.

I know we're meant to stay optimistic. But it's all just a bit shit sometimes isn't it.

@GingleAllTheWay2022

It definitely helps with this thread, it’s so sad so many people go through this but it helps talking about it.
I’ve got some shit days and some better days when I feel more positive but I’m also dreading the whole tracking/ trying/ waiting game, it’s relentless when all you want to be is pregnant.
I’m trying to focus on other things to take my mind off it but it’s very difficult.

Hi all.

Sadly we have experienced our second loss within 2 cycles. I'm feeling very very lost. We have been trying since our DS was born in April 2021 so it feels like forever. We also have male factor infertility which complicates TTC.

We had a 6 week loss on 15th October. I think it was a chemical and that i ovulated late. Everything happened by itself naturally and 2 days later when I went to the early pregnancy unit to have a scan and hcgs done my hcg was at baseline.
I felt okay after that one because it happened so quickly after finding out.

I got a positive pregnancy test on 11th November so must have ovulated straight away and saw baby with a heartbeat on 30th November. Had another scan on 18th December which showed baby had stopped developing around 7 weeks or so.
Started bleeding on Christmas day but don't think I passed the pregnancy until boxing day. I felt relief really because the idea of surgery terrified me. Then felt awful for feeling relieved it was over.

I'd like to try again straight away but I'm so nervous. What on earth is happening with my body to have 2 losses so quickly after each other.

I have a DD who is 7 and a DS who is 20 months as well as 2 previous chemicals (one before DD and one after) so I know my chances of loss is higher but I can't be referred for any recurrent miscarriage testing until I have 3 consecutive losses.

I've previously had blood testing which showed my thyroid is fine but I'm not sure what else I could have done privately. Dh is currently undergoing more testing because his sperm count has halved in less than a year with no chance to lifestyle or medications or medical issues.

hi there and gentle hugs to the new ladies. Ugh I know that awful feeling/fear it’s just never going to happen it’s awful isn’t it. I’ve also seemed to have put on weight since the MC I actually lost weight when pregnant I literally ballooned the week I took the medication to get things going it just adds insult to injury. I took an OPK test today it was super faint so I’m no where near anything exciting still just waiting for my body to decide where it’s at which is crap but there we go, all part of the whole process. Much love to all xxx

Argh ladies good news and bad news. Bad news my period has started which means that egg they saw in the scan didn’t work ( I really didn’t think it would). Good news my period has started so once this is over I can start tracking ovulation and hopefully get more of an idea where my cycle is at. Hopefully if that last bit of retained product with a blood supply will be shed with this period and I’ll literally have a blank canvas. It’s all a bit emotional though ugh love to all. xxx

Hope you're OK @Chocolatebean. Thinking of it as a blank canvas makes sense. Is there any comfort in knowing that your body is getting back to normal and trying to do what it can to ovulate etc.?

Keeping my fingers crossed for you for this cycle. It's an emotional shitshow.

@GingleAllTheWay2022 aw thanks so much 🤗. I am thanks I feel like it’s my new start, I hope everything has a proper clear out and we can start to ttc again and this is a huge step towards that mind you just a few smears of blood and it’s disappeared again I hope it comes back 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️xxx

Hey 💕💕

I thought I'd give you all an update, my miscarriage all happened on Friday still bleeding quite a lot mind you but pain is pretty much non existent. I would say it all kicked in 3 hours after using the pessary!

Thankfully the intense pain only lasted about an hour this time! It's my birthday today and although I feel like I'm not ok I'm grateful for the distraction!

I'm planning on trying again as soon as possible but I will wait till I have spoken to the miscarriage unit! I'm hoping there isn't a 'wait list' for tests etc

Hope you're all doing ok xx

@Chocolatebean I also had what I thought might be the start of a period yesterday afternoon, I had few smears of mucusy bloody stuff but then it stopped again.

I’m hoping it’s a sign my body is gearing up to restart in some way.

Fingers crossed for us all to have our cycles back before too long.

Hi ladies - glad I found you although sad that so many of us are going through this.

I fell pregnant in December after 12 months of TTC#1. Was obviously delighted as was starting to resign myself to the fact that there must be something medically wrong that was preventing us from getting pregnant. Sadly the elation didn’t last long and I miscarried around 6w on the 27th of December. Seems like my experience was fairly typical, bad cramps for first day or two and bleeding for 10 days. Bleeding stopped a few days ago.

I thought I was doing alright and was trying to cling on to the fact that at least we got pregnant but then a (not very close) friend announced her pregnancy a few days ago and I think it’s really triggered me as I haven’t slept properly since and just feel really sad.

sending love to all xx

I think my body is ready to ovulate, this is good news as I’m getting back to normal but it’s bad news because I won’t see my husband until Thursday 😔I’ve got egg white mucus ( sorry tmi) and that is usually a telltale sign for me. I’ve not been checking my temperature after my loss so can’t corroborate with that. I should be grateful but I’m so upset because I don’t want to miss this opportunity.
Sending hugs to everyone who has recently joined this thread, so sad for your losses but chatting to all the ladies on here has really helped me feeling better ❤️

@Fairylight102 thays exactly what mine has done it’s gone again, nothing like messing with your head is there I suppose it’s better than nothing and body must be trying to do something hmmmmm 🤦‍♀️
@kookyelephant so glad the worst is over and the pain wasn’t too great. Hopefully the only way is up and forward from here xxx
@Saturnsmoon im so sorry and welcome to the group I’m so sorry you’ve had a trigger so soon it just rubs salt in the wounds even more doesn’t it just what u could do without xxx
@Travellingislife that is just typical but you never know try your best before he goes and you never know you may just get lucky xxx

@Travellingislife I really identify with this. My husband frequently works away and I am mostly stressed about this and how we will be able to try again. I have no idea what my cycle will do. I am taking HCG tests every few days but even if I get a negative, i think it varies a lot when you ovulate after that. Its an aspect of loss I never really considered before. Hoping it works out for you soon <3

Hi all, sending love to everyone again and to the new people that have joined. I'm now 10 days post surgery. Tracking temps which are all over the place, bleeding stopped again but has been coming and going, and emotions all over the place with hormones. I have noticed an increase in sex drive, unsure if it's a need for comfort or what but hospital said no sex for two weeks. Can I ask are most people waiting for a first period before ttc? I just can't see how I'll manage to wait up to 6 weeks, so keen to start trying straight away. My miscarriage leaflet says the only reason to wait is for accurate dating and no evidence suggests it puts you at higher risk of another MC. What are people's thoughts?

@Enigma85 We're trying again as soon as it seems like I'm ovulating.

@Enigma85 I have been wondering about this too.

Me and my husband were planning to observe the advice about waiting for one period before TTC, due to the dating reasons (for example I read on one of the Miscarriage association leaflets that after a loss, it could be especially stressful if you weren’t sure of dates and your scan looked small - you’d then be thinking is it because my dates are wrong, or are things going wrong again).

However as I’ve started to recover physically (emotionally still quite up and down) we’ve been starting to think maybe we should just go for it and try straight away.

I’m planning to do a pregnancy test tonight (that will be 3 weeks since the miscarriage), so if it’s negative we’ll take it from there and decide whether to wait or not. I definitely want to have a negative test before trying again so if I did get pregnant again I would know for sure it was a new pregnancy and not hormones left over from the miscarriage.

@TheBirdintheCave so will that be before a first period?

@Fairylight102 seems so hard to wait doesn't it. I agree on the negative pregnancy test, I'm thinking if we track ovulation and happened to fall pregnant straight away that'd make dating more accurate?

The only thing I would do is make sure you have a negative pregnancy test first xxx

I didn’t wait I knew there was an egg there so went for it, it didn’t work but it was worth a go xxx

@Enigma85 we’re not waiting until after my first period. Once my bleeding has stopped (I’m just having some light spotting now), I’ll do a pregnancy test to make sure it’s negative then start trying. I was told at the hospital the only reasons for waiting for a period are to date the pregnancy and for a clean slate, there’s no higher risk of MC with trying sooner.
I’m going to start tracking temps tomorrow and I have some Clearblue ovulation tests in my drawer so will use those soon and hope for the best. I’m dreading going through the stress of TTC again but would rather just start straight away rather than wait.

@Enigma85 Yep, before a period. I'm just going to track CM and temperature so we know what our dates are if we get lucky for some reason.

I won't be taking any tests beforehand as I couldn't stand to see a positive whilst I know I'm not pregnant. I figure if I ovulate then my HCG must be basically nothing anyway.

I've had negative tests for the past couple of days and no spotting so we're going to start trying straight away too. It took almost a year to fall pregnant the last time and age is not on my side. I figure I may as well take every opportunity I can.

Thanks everyone, I think we'll crack on too once the two weeks has passed where they said I'm at risk of infection. Same as you @GingleAllTheWay2022 I'm 37 and a half and it took us 8 months to conceive my first pregnancy (the MMC) so don't feel we have any time to waste.

I’ve just done a couple of tests and they are negative. Talked it through with my husband and we are going to start trying again without waiting for a period. Like @TheBirdintheCave said, will monitor temperature so we would have an approximation of dates if I did get pregnant straight away.

@Cinnamon03 I completely get where you’re coming from about dreading the stressful elements of TTC again - constantly monitoring what my body is doing, logging temperature, waiting to see if my period comes.

Hello. So sorry that there's so many of us here but does really help to know we aren't alone. I had a mmc 4 weeks ago now - found out at 10.5 weeks , stopped developing at 6.5 ish. Didn't have any medical management as all happened naturally eventually (before 2nd scan so not by choice) . Had 2 weeks of period like bleeding but even now 4 weeks later am having some spotting but testing negative. Hope my body sorts itself out soon. It was my first and we'd been trying for over a year and I'm 38. Was just starting fertility tests etc to check things out and am worried it will take that long again, or not at all.