Journey after miscarriage support thread Jan 2023

[Fairylight102]

I wondered if anyone out there would be interested in joining a thread for those who have recently experienced a miscarriage - a place to share how we’re feeling emotionally, physical recovery, becoming ready to try again (for those that want to), and hopefully one day positive stories of successful preganancies.

I’m 32 and recently had a miscarriage at 5-6 weeks of my first pregnancy. I was relieved to have conceived after quite a short time, because I have PCOS and was worried I might struggle to get pregnant.

My miscarriage was about 2 and half weeks ago now, and today is the first day I’ve not had any spotting/bleeding at all, and that has been a relief to feel like my body is moving on from it. I know it’s advisable to do a pregnancy test a few weeks after miscarriage, which is something I’m a bit anxious about doing as I’m fairly sure it will be an emotional thing to do.

Since it happened my sleep pattern and energy levels have been a bit all over the place. Some days I’ve just wanted to sleep all the time, which I think could be a mix of actual physical tiredness and also emotional tiredness/hormonal changes. I was back at work for the first time today, and it was helpful to have something else to focus on and motivate myself for.

I’ve restarted tracking my BBT to see what happens with my cycle returning, though I’m aware it could take a while to get back to normal. My husband and I are both on the same page that we’d like to try again once I’ve had one normal period, so I guess we’ll just see how things go and how we feel when we reach this point.

Sorry this has turned into a longer post than I expected! Anyway, if there’s anyone out there who’s had a similar experience recently and would like a place to share feelings/questions/advice it would be lovely to hear from others.

Out of surgery now and having a cup of tea :)

@TheBirdintheCave glad to hear you're out and recovering x

@Enigma85 mine too was a mmc, absolutely no signs until 11 weeks, then found out it had never developed past 6 weeks. Sending you all the best x

Hope your recovery goes smoothly!

@Chocolatebean ah ok, you don’t have a choice whether to wear it but like you said, it won’t affect the outcome and to be fair I rather know early on. I removed all pregnancy apps and deleted all my photos of my son holding the positive pregnancy test, that gave me some closure. My friend is pregnant and was due within a few days of me so that’s emotional but I’m happy for her and I actually don’t think it’ll be difficult for me to keep seeing her and talking about her pregnancy. I hope! It may be different when I actually see her again.
Your friend is a hero- It really gives me hope when women who are 40+ have successful pregnancies!
@Enigma85 so sorry about your loss, I’ve heard about quite a few who had MMC, I can’t imagine how hard it would be. It really is a difficult journey but I believe most of us will have a positive outcome eventually.
I had my first at 38 and I just turned 41 so 37 is young! Please don’t lose hope!
I also feel stupid I waited so long but I honestly wasn’t ready before and we can’t go back and change it.

@ThaiDye yeah I was the same when I was younger- never batted an eyelid about travelling a lot and didn’t understand my more mature friends who complained about timings and fertile windows. Ah so naive I was.
It is super interesting with the fitness trackers, my Whoop detected I was pregnant before my positive test, I knew even before implantation. I wore my Whoop during my first pregnancy and my heart rate went up 10 beats per minute right away and my hrv dropped with about 30, when I’ve had covid/ flu/ a heavy cold it’s not been the same pattern as when I’m pregnant.
Will you keep wearing your tracker?

@mollibu so sorry about your loss. I totally get you wanting to get going again asap. The doctors seem to be saying different things. I guess it depends on your specific circumstances but I’m hoping my body will tell me when I’m ready, by ovulating, and if it catches I hope I’m ready. I’m waiting to ovulate now ( I lost my pregnancy on NY’s eve; happy fucking new year eh ) and I just can’t wait to ttc again, I feel like time is running out.

@TheBirdintheCave so glad you are out. Hoping you feel better for that part of this whole process being complete it’s another step to move forward xxx

@Chocolatebean Yeah I feel much lighter now :) Looking forward to trying again and having the appointments at the IVF clinic.

@Chocolatebean glad to hear all went well and you are feeling ok xx

So sorry I meant to tag @TheBirdintheCave xx

Hi all, please can I join 🥺 I'm currently going through my third miscarriage and second MMC. I'm still feeling very numb I thought I was 10+1 yesterday and after a scan to confirm a new prescription of cyclogest it was confirmed I'd miscarried at 8+6! I'm 33 and can't stop blaming myself for one reason or another!

I've opted for medical management as I didn't feel comfortable going under general anaesthetic for some reason, after miscarrying naturally last time and finding it an extremely traumatic experience I am very nervous!

I'm sorry we all find ourselves in this situation and sending love to all 💕

@kookyelephant Sorry to hear about that :( Someone posted a thread on this forum a few days ago about their experience with medical management if it would help to read that? I hope it goes as well as it can xx

@kookyelephant hi sweet I’m so sorry for what you’ve been through I had medical management a few weeks ago, if you have any questions feel free to ask. I was 6-7 weeks when it stopped developing, 8 weeks when it was found. I took the tablet at the hospital then inserted the pessaries at home. I started bleeding before I inserted the pessary. They gave me painkiller and anti sickness meds for when I put the pessary in but I didn’t need them just paracetamol. I bled heavily for 2 days then it petered off. My only problem was I had a tiny bit of tissue that didn’t come out so they gave me antibiotics and I have a scan this Thursday to see if it’s come away. If u have any questions feel free to ask xxx

@TheBirdintheCave thank you 💕💕

@Chocolatebean - thanks for sharing your experience, they have given me codeine aswell no anti sickness, I feel slightly traumatised by my last experience I'm just hoping this one isn't as painful! Like you I only used paracetamol last time, the pain is starting now I'm hoping it doesn't take too long. I also need to 'collect' it this time for analysis which I really don't feel comfortable with but also really want it analysed if that makes sense xx

@kookyelephant they gave me 5 boxes of 12 anti sickness tablets I was like crikey what will it do to me but I didn’t take any lol. It won’t be nice collecting it ( I wasn’t given the option) but if I had been I’d have snapped their hands off definitively best to see if they can find anything wrong. Maybe tmi but I only had 2 bits and they were small and unidentifiable, the rest was clots smaller than 10p and the rest was just grainy. Even though I looked I couldn’t see a sac, maybe that’s the bit still in there I really hope not. I didn’t really have much pain which suprised me but I know some ladies do have a lot of pain fingers crossed it’s not too bad and it’s over quickly,for me the worst part has been waiting for the negative test that has been the worst part by far xxx

Hope it all went well and that you can get some closure now ❤️

@Travellingislife Yes all good :) Just relaxing with my husband and son now. I've spent this afternoon researching and ordering a home thyroid test so I can cross that one off my list as a potential issue just in case we are lucky enough to get pregnant right away. I have a weird feeling that we will. No idea why 🤷🏻‍♀️

It sounds like you’re doing as well as you can. I’ve got the same feeling as you, that I’ll be pregnant soon, fingers crossed we can share happy news soon!

@Travellingislife Here's hoping! :D

@Travellingislife and @TheBirdintheCave i hope so much that is true, I had a feeling last time that I would fall first time trying and I did. I have a feeling that I will get pregnant again and it will be another MC and then 3 rd time it will work but it would be nice for it to happen again very soon and have a happy ending for all of us wouldnt it 😊

I’m trying to dig deep within myself to stay strong this weekend. I’m at a family gathering and there are some children here, and I’m finding it hard seeing relatives interacting with children, because it makes me think of what they would have been like as grandparents/aunts/uncles to my child had the pregnancy continued.

Also thinking how much more I would have enjoyed this event had I still been pregnant because I would have been watching the children play and thinking about how mine would grow up like that.

I’ve been tracking my BBT for about a week now and it’s consistently low compared to my normal cycles (lower than even the low times of a typical cycle if you see what I mean). I don’t know what that means, but at least I’ve not had any bleeding for a week now so clearly my body has started the healing process, maybe it’s just not ready to start ovulating yet though if my BBT is so low.

Sending you lots of love @Fairylight102 I agree with you that nothing seems as good now. I seemed to enjoy everything a lot more knowing we would be having a baby in the summer

@Fairylight102 stay strong, you've been through a lot and it's bound to take time for your body to heal and recover. Things will get better x

@Fairylight102 totally agree nothing feels quite as nice or content does it? Even lying in bed on a night bothers me think it’s coz there’s more time to think and my mind can wander. My I watch unbeknown to me has tracked my bbt from when I was pregnant till now. My bbt was also low until about a week ago when it started to go up this coincides with my pregnancy tests being super faint so I think you’re spot on about the bbt being lower till the body starts to gear up again. I’ve had no ovulation symptoms or anything yet even though at my scan a week ago they said there was an egg ready to go but I’ve felt absolutely nothing so goodness knows what happened with that. Xxx

@Enigma85 @Dragonfly91 @Chocolatebean Thank you so much for your replies. It really helps to talk to others going through a similar experience x

Hi, hope it’s ok to join and I’m so so sorry for your losses.
I started miscarrying on xmas eve at 7 weeks pregnant, we had been trying for 5 months. Pretty sure I had a very early chemical the cycle before this one too. Devastated is an understatement.
Today has been my first day of very little bleeding so hoping it won’t be too much longer now until that negative pregnancy test to confirm it’s all over.
We were advised to wait one or two periods before trying again but only to make dating the pregnancy easier and “for a clean slate”, but were reassured that we’d be at no extra risk if I fall pregnant before that. I just have to idea when to start tracking for ovulation!? Hate being back to square one trying all over again 😔

@Cinnamon03 Hi! Sorry for your loss :( I started taking my temperature again this morning for tracking in the lead up to O and I had my surgery yesterday to deal with my missed miscarriage.

No harm in you starting to track again now too :)