@LAURAPAX thank you ❤However I wouldn't ever wish to anybody needing to be on this thread, knowing one isn't alone in these feelings and experiences and there are people out there who understand really helps somewhat. Of course we would all much rather this group didn't have to exist in the first place and I do long for the day that not a single person will have to go through this ever again even just once.
It's much easier said tan done, especially once you start looking into things, but I repeat and agree with others, you really aren't that old yet and there are plenty of other things to explore before resorting to IVF, however it is a very personal choice and nobody but yourself and your instinct can tell you what feels best at this moment in time.
I would recommend exhausting all possible tests to understand if there is a different underlying issue that can be treated more easily than egg quality and exploring supplements, any additional lifestyle changes you might not have considered yet and luteal phase support on your next pregnancy as medication such as progesterone, blood thinners and high dose folic acid can make a difference to a lot of pregnancies. Fertility MOTs only go that far.
It's also very easy to say, but try your best not to beat yourself up about trying too late, it really isn't that late even though it may not feel like it to you, especially these days in age when I personally seem surrounded by women who have children in their 40s seemingly without issues. But more important than that, you might not have thought there were specific or important reasons to put this on hold when you were a bit younger, but the reality is that it wouldn't have been right for you and you would have done what felt right at the time. Until the age of about 37 I was completely adamant I didn't want children at all and at times of deep sadness I try rekindling with the person I was then and the reasons for it to understand how my feelings changed that much to the point I very quickly became obsessed. Also being with a younger partner who did not want children at all, by the time he changed his mind and accepted to start trying I was already almost 41 so it's easier to get caught up into negative guilty feelings and 'what ifs', resenting your partner even, but then I say to myself that the reality is that it wasn't right for us to start trying sooner and also I cannot possibly know for sure that by trying earlier I would have had a different outcome, nobody can. I don't know why I'm telling you all this, but basically try not having regrets because we do what we think it's right at the time and much as it's easier for me to get caught up by those thoughts, I still have no regrets and I'm trying my best to look forwards rather than backwards. I don't think I can deal with regret on top of all the other pain this brings.
Following 4 losses, 2 of which tested and confirmed to have chromosomes abnormalities, we decided to undergo IVF with PGT-A (PGS) testing, we just completed our first ever egg collection round and have a follow up consultation next week to discuss next steps. I will PM to give more details if you're considering this route.
@Travellingislife I am so sorry to hear about what you're going through, being away and not being able to get support must be extra hard and worrying on top of the heartbreak and of course not knowing for sure. Sending 💐. I hope you can get some sort of confirmation and peace of mind soon and you can start trying again if that is the route you wish to go down to. I have a friend who had a loss and then successful pregnancy at 41 so there is hope.
xxx