Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC - Thread 6. ALL welcome!

[Sunbird24]

If you’re going through this, you’re not alone. I’ll post some links to support organisations shortly, but feel free to post, or just read, whatever you need.

@ChloeN ttc was never really ‘top of my list’ for a long time. Me and my husband have been together 8 years, married for 4. He always wants to ttc a long time before I was ‘ready’. I always wanted to get promotion first so I would have better maternity pay. I achieved this in 2020. Then we had Covid & bought our second house so it was never a priority for me. Now it’s all I can think about. It’s like it’s consumed my life. It’s all I think and talk about both while I was pregnant, and now while I’m trying to get pregnant again. I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy. How are you doing? Xx

@Sophiey11 i felt exactly the same but I was your husband and my partner was you, so I’ve really felt desperate for a long time waiting for him to be ready. But I agree as soon as you start trying it just overwhelms your whole life! I’m good thanks, still a bit anxious but don’t think that will ever go away!xx

@Sophiey11 thank you so much for taking the time to write that down. Really useful. I can so relate to TTC taking over your life. One of my first thoughts yesterday was can't believe I have to go through the stress of the miscarriage and then the stress of TTC again. It's like a double whammy.

@ChloeN I work self-employed so fortunate in a way that I don't have to ask for time off but not working does add a financial stress and means Jan is going to be a bit stressful as going to need to make up for lost time. My mum was up to help me today with my son my husband went to work.

@tulipsunday im self employed too and I felt such a strain to be back at work immediately, not for money as such but just because I felt like I was letting people down and it just wasn’t worth the hassle to have time off! Glad you had some help, is she supportive?😔

Yes I was the same - more worried about letting people down. Hoping may be able
to do some work this coming week.

Yes I am fortunate my mum is hugely supportive. She seems to just 'get it' and why I am feeling like I am etc. My husband is very loving and supportive too but I think he just finds it harder to deal with seeing me sad and means well but doesn't always say the right thing (or what I perceive to be the right thing anyway)...

Sorry this isn't looking like it will be your cycle @Sophiey11 we will support each other ❤️

Hi All,
Jumping on after reading a few threads. I went for a private early scan at 7 weeks as I started spotting. Only a sac and measuring 5 weeks…. So went to EPU a week later and the same. This week, was booked for a ERPC but this time was an embryo measuring 5w6d (should have been 9w) with a v.slow heartbeat so pretty sure not viable and the sac hadn’t grown. So now I have to wait ANOTHER week but they expect to be able to do the ERPC this week. All very hard and it’ll be 3 weeks since I found out (all spotting has stopped).

Im ready to get the ERPC done now (even though seeing the heartbeat was hard!). Any advice for a ERPC? Things to take with me? What to expect after? Any questions to ask?
sorry to everyone for their losses xx

@tulipsunday so so sorry to read this, life really is unfair isn't it 😢

@Sophiey11 I'm feeling the same as you. Sending you lots of love.

I'm roughly 9dpo and we had sex twice during my predicted fertile window, so just waiting now, but also we aren't strictly TTC if that makes sense? I'm just hopeful at the same time, i don't know 🤷‍♀️ xx

Hope you're doing okay @ChloeN xxx

@Hopefulhoney6 sorry I haven't experienced the surgical route (if that is what you are describing but I just wanted to say I am sorry you are going through this.

@Brokenpancreas94 thank you. Wishing you lots of luck x

@Hopefulhoney6 so sorry to hear this, I can’t imagine how hard it must have been to see the heartbeat, but still bad news. I had ERPC 10 weeks ago. To be honest it was no where as bad as I was expecting. I would suggest a few pairs of pants, pyjamas and change of clothes. I did find I bled through my pyjamas the night of my surgery, but I didn’t get back on the ward till quite late so was still quite recent. Due to the wind pipe you tend to have a bit of a dry cough/itchy throat. This only lasted a few hours for me. But as the hospital only give you a jug of water, my husband brought me in some squash so I could make up glasses of squash and have some flavour. I was also nil by mouth for 7 hours by the time I went down, so I was gasping/starving. So maybe some snacks, as I had missed the tea slot so no warm food etc. Pain wise I found it fine. I didn’t even take any painkillers afterwards. Hope it all goes okay for you xx

Thank you all ladies. Another BFN this morning. When I ovulated I had a ‘peak’ opk for 4 days. I had read online to use day 1 as my peak, but now the Premom website is saying the last day. So I may have a few more days hope if that’s the case. But 90% sure I haven’t caught this cycle and AF is due in 9 days. I have been having pain in my armpits and I had a day of cramping around ovulation but doesn’t look like anything has happened xx

@tulipsunday I’m so sorry to hear about your loss. I hope you’re doing ok.
@Sophiey11 Fingers crossed for you, it’s still early days.

@Hopefulhoney6 So sorry for your loss. I had the surgery 4 weeks ago and the physical recovery was pretty quick. Snacks, drinks, a puzzle book and pen or some entertainment, PJs, slippers, underwear a change of clothes with loose/stretchy trousers. I had to go in the night before for all of the pre-op stuff but was out by lunchtime. I wish I’d taken earplugs and a sleep mask as the ward was loud. I found that the general anaesthetic and being intubated gave me sore muscle pain in my neck, jaw and back. I took painkillers for this but within 2 days it got better. I felt quite sleepy for 2-3 days too so don’t put too much expectation on yourself to bounce back within a day. I didn’t bleed much in the first few days but it got heavier and then eased off again lasting just under 3 weeks all together. I had a week of no bleeding then AF appeared. Hope it all goes smoothly and you’re getting on ok.

I finally had my BFN this morning for the first time since the op. It took 4 weeks and 3 days to come back negative which felt like a lifetime. Glad I can finally draw a line under it and start trying to move on. DH and I have decided not to try again. I’m glad we tried as I think we would have always wondered ‘what if?’. I wish everyone speedy recoveries and extra baby dust. This thread was an amazing support at such a difficult and isolating time. Thank you ladies ❤️.

Thank you @SugarCookieMonster and @Sophiey11 so much for taking the time to write it all down - that’s so helpful. I hadn’t even really processed the need for the hospital bag and things to take, so I need to focus on that.

I’m doing OK, but @Sophiey11 I totally feel like you wrote in a few posts above… we were only TTC for five months and this is my first MC but as soon as it happened I was like, omg I need to go through the surgery, then wait for my cycle to return and then TTC again…. And I had all these worries before about short luteal phase and thin uterine lining so they all came flooding back. I just hope the ERPC happens this week. Good luck with getting your BFP! I can’t wait to try again!! Xx

Just realised @Sophiey11 it wasn’t you that wrote that about MC and TTC again, but keeping everything crossed it works for you! X

@Brokenpancreas94 thanks lovely I’m doing good, hopefully this is a successful month for you🤞🏻

Hi everyone. I had a miscarriage and d&c nearly 5 weeks ago. For about a week I have had strong period type pains but kind of feel like ovulation cramps aswell. I’ve only had some very light spotting but at times some ewcm. I’m terrified it’s asherman’s syndrome, did anyone have this? I’m just hoping it’s my body trying to get back to normal or something 😒

Hi @BlueMumma2018 . Very sorry to hear about your D&C. I had one today and now just have some crampy pains so far. I’m sure your body is just getting back to normal, but if you’re worried why not call the EPU? Mine have been so good and just said ring if any issues!!

Yes hopefully you can get some advice from them @BlueMumma2018 hope your procedure was ok @Hopefulhoney6 just recovering currently from an early miscarriage bleeding lighter today so hoping I am through the worst

Hi @Hopefulhoney6 sorry to hear.. look after yourself and take it easy. Luckily I was the same and only had a few cramps and bleeding stopped very quickly. Now 5 weeks on and starting to twiddle my thumbs. My consultant advised I start taking provera . Thank you @tulipsunday x

Hope everyone is ok. Had a really useful chat with a Tommy's midwife who has given me some advice for what to discuss with the doctor following my second pregnancy. Feeling a bit more positive now.

You can email or call them for free- lady was so nice. Just sharing in case helpful

How do I stop feeling like this? Crying whilst writing this. Someone in my partner's family has announced their pregnancy and I'm just so devastated, I want to be happy but I just can't. I know it's so wrong but I can't help it 😢

@Brokenpancreas94 its perfectly normal, don’t beat yourself up. A work colleague’s new baby was born a couple of weeks ago, conceived completely by accident while I was going through ivf, the date she told him on was the one he’d been intending to tell her it wasn’t working out. It’s so hard.

Sadly I feel the same @Brokenpancreas94 a friend of mine is currently pregnant (I was due 6 days before her) every time she talks about her pregnancy I just want to walk away. I try to stay interested but I feel angry/jealous. Which then makes me feel horrible :( my work colleague gave birth last week, all my friends went to see her but I didn’t go. I know I would have just spent the whole time crying. It’s just so awful and I really do feel your pain :( me and my husband are ttc again but currently having no joy. I am on my third cycle since MMC but not catching. We caught first time for my last pregnancy, so yet another kick in the teeth. Sending you lots of hugs xx

@Brokenpancreas94 its so normal I think. I’m so jealous of everyone who gets to have normal pregnancies without the worry of loss😔 I don’t think that ever goes away so you’re not alone!

@Sophiey11 sorry you’re still in the same shitty boat 😭 mine was cycle 3 after mc although first time was first cycle for me too, I think unfortunately it’s normal for it to take a bit longer

@Sophiey11 I honestly feel like everyone around me is pregnant except for me and it hurts so much! I'm exactly the same it's like some kind of resentment 😔. I thought this cycle was going to be successful but I've just come off of my period, periods have been so heavy too! Sending you lots of love, really hoping our time comes soon! Xxx

@ChloeN me too! Even before my MMC I had the worry of not having a successful pregnancy due to my type 1 diabetes, it's so hard 😢. Just want a miracle!!
Hope you're doing okay xxx