Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC - Thread 6. ALL welcome!

[Sunbird24]

If you’re going through this, you’re not alone. I’ll post some links to support organisations shortly, but feel free to post, or just read, whatever you need.

@Ninzkm I've never miscarried spontaneously ( have all been missed and had to go down the medical route) so I'm not too sure tbh. Might be worth giving the EPU a call just to reassure yourself if you're at all worried x

Hello all, I’m currently going through my second miscarriage both failed at 6 weeks. I’m utterly devastated and struggling to cope especially as this one was lost not long after I saw it having a heartbeat on an early pregnancy scan. It’s so hard to understand what to do next. If anyone has any advice for me then I would be grateful.

@mooneagle I’m so sorry for your losses.
I feel your pain we also saw a heartbeat at 6 weeks and then went through a missed miscarriage what would have been days later.
Its like the ground gets pulled from beneath you doesn’t it.
I don’t have any advice I’m so sorry, but go easy on yourself and take all the time you need to grieve, there truly is no limit.
Perhaps a Gp would refer you for extra tests or the EPU, or maybe private if possible? 💐

Thank you I’m also conflicted on how honest to be at work. The first miscarriage occurred during lockdown and I just went back to work. However this time I feel is different as the pregnancy was so much stronger. I can’t also just hide working from home like last time as people would normally expect me to be in the office now.

Has anyone had experience of telling employers and taking time off?

@mooneagle so sorry for your loss. My employers were brilliant about me taking time off, although they were aware I was having ivf so they probably knew more than they needed to. Mine have all been MMCs diagnosed at scan, so I’ve had both time off to process and then to deal with actual physical side of things.

@mooneagle My employers were great too. They weren’t aware we were pregnant, but as soon as I informed them of the misscarriage I was given 4 weeks off to grieve and get myself well. This really helped to take the stress off me, all they asked for was a doctors note. I think for me having this time really helped as my head wasn’t in the game for anything else. I hope your place of work will be just as supportive 🤞🏻

Thank you both. So many thoughts going through my head right now, I really just don’t want to lose hope we can conceive again. I’m turning 39 this year and very aware that the odds are stacked against me. How do you guys pick yourself up to try again?

Eventually the hope and the wanting outweigh the fear, but it takes time and being kind to yourself. I also have to feel like I’m doing something proactive so even though I know there’s nothing I could have done to prevent the MCs I feel things like avoiding alcohol and caffeine and trying to be healthy can’t hurt.

Hi @mooneagle sorry for your loss it's a horrible club to be in but your in good company. I found mumsnet really helped me in times where I felt alone as these ladies will be able to relate with the feelings you have.

It won't always feel like this and in time you will pick yourself back up and feel strong again. I started by taking multivitamin like @Sunbird24 said proactive changes helped.

Thanks ladies it does feel like a relief to be able to talk to people going through the same thing. Even though this is a mighty shit club to be part of!

I’m just hoping I can mentally and physically recover soon and try again in the next cycle. I hear the month post miscarriage the body is most primed to try get pregnant again but not sure if it’s an old wives tale.

@mooneagle hey so sorry for your loss. I'm 39 and feel time is desperately ruining out for me. I've had 2 MMC in the space of 7 months. I've also heard that you're most fertile straight after 🤷‍♀️ think we'll try again after AF arrives x

Do you have to wait for AF to arrive before trying again? I’m just wondering as doctor said I would prob ovulate before the next period and I think if I’m physically able I’d like to try soon as possible.

@calimc83 I could have written your post myself. Just in hospital recovering from a D&C. Second MMC at 11wks in 7 months. Also 39. Feeling so utterly utterly broken.

@mooneagle sorry! I've only half answered u on both threads - I don't think u have to wait for after AF but sometimes it's best to wait to build up the lining again? I was told not to do anything if still spotting..think AF is just on her way did me so think we'll start again once she's finished 🙈 @Presently83 I'm so so sorry to hear this lovely. It's so shit. MMC are so cruel. I really didn't think it'd happen to me again and it did..xxx

@Presently83 was your previous MC at a similar gestation? Have the hospital said they'll offer u any tests? X

@calimc83 - yes, both were MMC discovered through scans around 11wks, both died around 7+5.

I've paid for the tests privately because NHS won't give them until three, and I'm pissed off and want some answers. This whole thing is so unbelievably shit.

Incidentally, we just found out yesterday that my BF has a v low sperm count and v low morphology. He has a son and we've been pregnant twice in a short time but now I'm convinced his dodgy sperm is causing the miscarriages. Has anyone else got experience of male factor causing recurrent miscarriages?? He's finally agreed to have the dna fragmentation tests because of these results.

@Presently83 ahh ok. My first was at 9+6 and 2nd at 7+6. The consultant reckoned there was swelling around the head and chest area with the first MMC which hinted at an issue with the chromosomes. I'm convinced I've got rotten old eggs..but there doesn't seem to be any tests u can get for egg quality? I casually asked DH what his thoughts were on 'jizzing' in a cup and getting it tested 🙈😆..he wasn't massively keen but I've told him needs must! Will your clinic test for speed fragmentation? I was trying to find somewhere that offers this but couldn't see anywhere? X

@calimc83 definitely get him to! It's really made me feel better about this not being all 'on me', albeit worried this is a massive problem.

I don't know about speed fragmentation. Motility? His motility is actually fine, just the little fuckers are few and far between, and of those only a fistful of them don't have square heads or eight tails 🥴

@Presently83 😆😆😆speedy sperm! Sorry that was a typo...8 tails though?! 🙈..oh man if we don't laugh we'd cry! I'm going to see what my GP says about sperm tests..have a feeling she'll say go private x

Hi all, I was in the previous thread for my MC at 9 weeks in February. Very sadly for me I am back, currently miscarrying my second pregnancy. This one is at 6 weeks and has started naturally, so I am grateful at least that this is earlier. 9 weeks after a healthy scan at 8 weeks was a brutal, brutal shock.

My pregnancy symptoms disappeared a week ago with this one so I've been kind of expecting it :( But absolutely crushed of course and now just so, so scared that there is a problem.

I know the NHS won't crank into gear until after my third miscarriage so I wondered if anyone on here has experience of private testing after 2?? I am tempted to explore in case there is something. I had constant bizarre pain after my last miscarriage until this pregnancy, and a lot of weird burning crotch feelings throughout it. It's all giving me ' there is a problem ' vibes :( And I've always had very extreme period pain...

Anyone who has miscarried at 6 weeks - how long did it take?? I had an MVA with my 9 weeks (never again), but I'm assuming this time I will just pass it at home because it's so much earlier? Also, should I be getting a scan to confirm it or anything? Thanks for any words of wisdom<3

@mooneagle so sorry for your loss, sounds like we're in a similar position now both having two :( I want to start ttc as soon as possible too but also wondering if I should pause to do some testing first...

Sending so much love to everyone on here. It is truly fucking shit. Xx

@Tor88 so sorry for your loss lovely. I recognise your name from other boards 😞. I'm coming up 5 weeks since my 2nd loss. My GP has carried out some basic bloods which has come back normal..I'm 39 so feel like I can't really wait to get any answers. Sort of feel like every second counts. Was the GP aware u were pregnant? Just so u have the MC detailed in your notes, they can then refer u for basic bloods. I'm going to call my GP next week and see if they will do any more tests for me. When I MC the second time the consultant kept trying to say it's 'bad luck'. Which is even more frustrating 😫 xx

@calimc83 thank you <3 it's horrible recognising people's names from other threads isn't it, I just feel so sorry for us all!! And I'm so sorry for your losses as well. There are some reassuring MN threads about people who have conceived a healthy baby after 2 or more losses that I have been finding reassuring<3

Yes GP knew as I'd had my booking apt already so I'll call them, need to cancel my face to face anyway. I guess I may as well ask what can be done. In the meantime Ive sent a request to the women's fertility clinic who do a full MOT for £480. Thinking I may as well start exploring that route. Just discussed with DH and we might just use our summer holiday fund to have me prodded and poked instead.

I'm also wondering - in case anyone on here knows - if I should be trying to get a referral to the epu for a scan to confirm the miscarriage?? I mean it is deffo happening, pregnancy symptoms that were strong have totally vanished, and I have cramping and bleeding (though not particularly heavy/painful yet). Can I just stay at home and confirm it myself with a negative pg test in two weeks, or should i be getting a scan some point this week to make sure it's all processed?? Ugh it feels horrible talking about all this technical way.. I'm a bit numb right now I think! I'm just not sure what, if any, processes there are at this point... Any advice appreciated xx

Hi everybody,

Just wanted to share my experience of having a MC if that's OK.

So DH and I found out we were pregnant with baby 2 on the 3rd May this year. It was unplanned and unexpected but we were happy about it.

Two - three weeks ago I began bleeding. It was a bit like implantation bleeding. I rang my GP and he referred me to the EPU who said to wait it out and to test again a week after the bleeding started if it stopped. Having tested positive they offered me a scan and I accepted.

On Monday the 30th May I went for the scan and the sonographer said the baby was measuring 5 weeks (I was supposed to be measuring 8 weeks by this point so was confused as to why this was) Sonographer put it down to bad visibility and booked another scan for the 13th June.

Well, on Tuesday night I had really bad cramps but thought this was just normal as I'd experienced the same with my first but Wednesay morning I discovered bleeding which stopped but started again heavily early Thursday morning and was very consistent. I rang EPU who said they couldn't do anything due to protocol and kept my appointment for the coming Monday.

Not wanting to wait until then we decided to book a scan at a private clinic. Yesterday we we went to the appointment and the sonohrapher said she couldn't see anything and I looked to find she was right. There was nothing there. I was distraught understandably but they didn't confirm a miscarriage and told me to attend the scan appointment on Monday.

It wasn't until I'd went to empty my bladder that I passed tissue and realised that I had miscarried.

Today I am in pain, feeling nauseous and that it is a bad dream that I am waiting to wake up from but know I won't. I feel numb too but also heartbroken at the same time.

@Tor88 I think I recognise your name so sorry you are back here again, it’s one of the things I think we all fear.

@Phoenixwings1989 so sorry for your loss, it is such a terrible shock & can be very difficult to process at first. Just know that you are not alone.

@Tor88 it's just shit isn't it? Who have u been looking at for the fertility checks? I keep thinking about doing something similar for myself and DH. Erm I'd probs ring the EPU and see what they suggest? Xx