Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC - Thread 5. ALL welcome!

[Sunbird24]

Previous thread:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/miscarriage/4190003-Support-thread-for-those-experiencing-or-recently-experienced-a-MC-MMC-Thread-4-ALL-welcome

Hi all.. Looking for some advice.

This is my 2nd pregnancy after a first miscarriage at c. 9/10 wks.

I should be around 9/10wks based on first day of last bleed (28 Aug) but went for a scan today after some spotting. The scan showed a 6wk stage yolk sac with no embryo to be seen. It seems MC is inevitable.

The clinic tried to book an emergency rescan for me tomorrow but I'm due to travel to France first thing by train from UK on holiday. I called and rebooked for next week when I'm back.

Question is... Is this a definite MC? The GP I rang and spoke to after seemed to think so.

And the holiday... Do I still go? I'm still spotting, slightly heavier after the TV scan but not bleeding. Is it dangerous to leave what could be a missed MC inside the womb for an extra week?

I was so looking forward to the holiday and am planning to go ahead but also feeling totally shit after the scan outcome and worried I will make things worse if I leave it... Last MC concluded itself naturally with bleeding and cramps, no intervention needed.

@luxyb I’m sorry, it doesn’t sound very hopeful if you should be that far along. There’s not likely to be any ill effects from leaving it a week, it’s unlikely to make it worse, the main risk is likely to be that a MC happens while you’re away so make sure you’ve got everything you need with you, and you know what to do/where to go if it became unmanageable.

Hi all, hope everyone is going and sending love. I'm now at what should have been 20 weeks pregnant. My SIL is pregnant and due same week i was. Been slowly getting through everything but she had her gender reveal yesterday which just set me back alot. Not her fault I know, just feeling a bit sat we should be celebrating together. It feels a bit like everyone has forgotten. No one ever checks in about me and my husband. Not really sure what why I'm writing this. Spending Xmas with the family. Was really hoping I'd be pregnant again by then as would help with dealing with all the excited baby talk for my SIL. to everyone.

@Legoisaws8om that must be so so hard to have someone so close living through those milestones. Sending lots of love!! Hopefully your time will come again soon and then you can have those special moments for yourself xxxxx

@luxyb I’m so sorry, but I second what @Sunbird24 said , it’s not going to hurt waiting a week just make sure you’re as prepared as you can be in case it happens while you’re away , sending love xxx

@LaurieBump with my first MC, I had spotting on one day and then significant gushes that lasted for nearly a week. However, everyone is different, and definitely do get a medical expert to try and help.

Did you have any luck with GP or EPU yesterday? xx

@legoisaws8om hope this group can provide some support for you, but it must be difficult to be in a situation where you're faced with the "what could have been" in your family. Is there anyone there you can give a nudge to about your worries about Christmas?

Today I returned the only pseudo-maternity dress I bought, a lovely maxi dress with buttons at the front and lots of room. I had bought it for Christmas in case I had a bump by then.

Fuckers.

With the money, I treated myself to some new makeup so people can stop commenting on how tired I look (or I can stop worrying that's what people are thinking). Now I may feel tired but I look fabulous 💃.

@Tofu35 rubbish that you had to return but love the attitude! Gotta do what makes you feel good! I had my first glass of wine last night and loved it! Then this morning a few tears thinking what was supposed to be, guess this is just guna be a journey xx

Aww @1stTimeTina I was having a debate with myself about if I should have a glass of wine yesterday. Ended up having a cup of tea and slightly enviously watching my husband have one. Although not so envious of his hungover groans today!
So sorry that you woke up today feeling sad, it's definitely a journey. No right speed or time, and definitely a few detours and potholes along the way!

We have been ttc for a few years now and last week I had multiple positive pregnancy tests.
The doctor confirmed the pregnancy, however referred me to the early pregnancy unit as I have had issues with pcos, fibroids and low iron levels. My last period, or what I thought was my period lasted almost 3 weeks (this has happened before).
I've had an internal.scan done which showed nothing, so I've had my bloods done twice to check my hcg levels. I got a call to say my hcg levels dropped slightly so it is not a viable pregnancy and they want me back in for another internal scan to make sure the pregnancy isn't ectopic or in a tube. They did check at my 1st scan for signs of an ectopic pregnancy and there was no sign of any tissue or anything. So they are assuming when I bled for 3 weeks that this was the miscarriage. I had no cramping or pain, it was fairly similar to my normal periods, maybe not as heavy.
Is it possible that it is just too early to see anything on a scan and still be pregnant even though my hcg have slightly dropped? Or am I just clutching at straws??

Hi Everyone, sadly joining after a while lurking. My pregnancy was ectopic, and I'm five weeks post op. I thought the surgery recovery was the worst but I've just had three friends announce pregnancies (directly to me and sensitively) but it has absolutely knocked me. Desperate to feel happy for them but not the easiest right now! Has anyone dealt with anything similar?

@Comz and @JuniperAndTonic, I also thought about starting again soonish but think a break over the holidays, with copious amounts of alcohol and chill out is probably needed.

@Chantal90 I’m so sorry for your loss.

Prior to my mmc, I had an ectopic pregnancy and at the time had people announcing there pregnancy around me. Some not as sensitive as others and it hurt. But I will say time is a great healer. Mentally I could process the ectopic better than I can currently with my mmc.

I had methotrexate with mine and moved literally the week after being discharged from the hospital and the whole not having internet for 16 days and taking the time for me and doing things in my time really helped. I’m currently having to tell myself it does get better and don’t be too hard on yourself. So take your time and don’t be too hard on yourself too.

@Comz I’m sorry to hear of your losses and you are absolutely right, so important to look after yourself!

I wish I had been remotely prepared for how I am feeling now but I suppose it’s impossible to know until you go through it because everyone is different.
I find the total lack of support for the mental health side of things really shocking.

Also I see I’ve managed to respond to much earlier comments so winning this Monday 😅

Hey, jumping on here too.

Had a chemical at 5 and a bit weeks last week...only found out I was pregnant 2 days before bleeding started so the whole thing was a massive whirlwind.

I had to have internal scan and blood tests as urine was still testing positive despite the bleeding, and I'm returning to hospital this week for 2nd lot of bloods to confirm HCG is falling. Hoping that will give me the all clear as I've been worried about an ectopic due to a tender spot when the doc was doing the internal scan and which I still feel from time to time - almost like a bruise/muscle pain.

I didn't really have time to process the bfp anyway so I didn't feel too bad at first, but now I'm feeling a bit sad as it's my sister's wedding this month and I really thought I'd be pregnant for it when I came off the pill in May, and I so nearly was. I also spent the day with DP's family including nieces and my SCs and it was sad to think that our baby could have been joining them in a few months.

Don't know what to do re TTC now really, I've absolutely hated having all this prodding and poking and bloods and just not sure I'm ready to pick it up again just yet because I'm mentally scarred by all that, but the other half of me doesn't want to waste any more time either. So hard isn't it.

Hi ladies, having a tough week so would love to join you.

I had an mc at 9 weeks in the summer. Been TTC again two months even though I’m scared/sceptical. Period came two days early and was weirdly heavy so thought I’d do an HPT to make sure nothing weird was happening, sure enough got a v.faint BFP so looks like I’ve had a chemical. Spent all day phoning people trying to get a blood test to confirm, finally got one in the morning privately. I’ll be gutted if it has been a chemical but also aware it gets me closer to getting some actual help. I’m honestly so fed up of being fobbed off, told it’s common etc…also my husband is away so I’m on my own :-(

@Chantal90 I totally hear you. I had three pg announcements in a week in sept and I just broke down…two dropped like bombshells at a dinner with nowhere to hide. Just so you know you’re not alone feeling like that xx

@LittleMysSister I’m so sorry to hear that, the what might have been moments are really hard aren’t they. And it’s so tough when it’s IN your body, you just don’t get a break.

@LittleMysSister I definitely hear what you’re saying about imagining how you expected life might be and now having to rejig those future imaginings. I don’t know if it would help you but I also had a family wedding I was expecting to pregnant at and so now I’m going to treat myself to a lovely dress which I wouldn’t have been able to wear pregnant as a treat, so maybe a couple of special treats like that might help?

@SunAndSea37 I’m sorry you’re having a tough week! And trying to navigate it alone. Sending you support and a virtual hug 🤗. Can you reach out to a friend or family member to have a vent at over the phone or in person?
Also having friends tell you about their pgs over dinner! Absolutely horrendous. I know it’s not intended to be hurtful but so hard when something like that happens

So sorry to see so many new people, what a dreadful few weeks everyone has had! 💐

I’m going for my next embryo transfer next week, hoping it’s 4th time lucky with number 6, but frankly not holding my breath.

Love that advice to @LittleMysSister! I bought myself a designer outfit for a wedding after my first mc which I never would have splashed out on normally but made me feel a million dollars. Treat yourself for sure.

@Chantal90 thank you. I really want to call my mum but she has stage 4 cancer and don’t want to upset her. My friends have been great though and my sister phoned today (though she conceived first time both times, so not always easy to explain.) my little niece would be soooo thrilled to have a baby cousin, I dream of being able to tell her that one day.

@Sunbird24 wishing you massive massive luck for next week.

Ah thanks @Chantal90, I'm actually a bridesmaid so already have
a pretty nice dress, luckily :)

I am consoling myself that I had no idea how I was going to get around not drinking and it would have been so early to tell anybody, so that's one thing. Also a wedding passes a lot quicker with a drink! And since it's an 'away' wedding, DP and I are making a little holiday out of it, so will be nice to be able to have a drink for that too :)

@SunAndSea37 Yes that's it exactly, my DP was sad but obviously none of it is actually happening to him and it's me that was in pain and on top of that the worries about my own health in case of ectopic. I am just wishing the time away until tomorrow morning when I get my 2nd bloods done just so I can know everything is OK, whereas for DP it's already done and dusted really.

It's been a real eye-opener actually, how lonely anything to do with pregnancy actually is, because as much as my DP is great and tries hard to understand, it's so different when you're dealing with the actual physicality of it isn't it?

My 2nd confirmation scan was cancelled today because the sonographer was sick. The poor midwife on the phone sounded so stressed by how many scans they needed to cancel and how that meant they couldn't check in with how I was doing emotionally/mentally either.
But they managed to book me in for Friday instead, and now my boss knows about it I won't need to tell an elaborate lie about where I am going.

Sorry everyone.

So I wrote a complaint, and got a reply. But I don’t feel any better.

And to boot, my pelvis and boobs are so sore. So I took a test and it was negative. Was hoping for something else. So require lots of self care today

Thanks to everyone for always being so lovely. And listening to me and all my ranty glory.

Worst club. Best members.

@yutes if we ever need a new thread name, i propose "worst club, best members" is a good one. What is on your self-care agenda today? 💐

@Tofu35 I think I’m going to treat myself to a walk at lunchtime to start with. And then we’ll see :)