Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC - Thread 2. ALL welcome!

[AMS19]

Hi ladies

This thread is open for EVERYONE. To discuss the highs, lows, emotions, and experiences of us all going through our miscarriage journey. Together we will get through this!

Previous thread:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/miscarriage/4119053-Support-thread-for-those-experiencing-or-recently-experienced-a-MC-MMC?pg=1

To my incredible strong warriors...I cannot believe we filled a thread! We've got this ladies ❤
@DMT1982
@Scottishskifun
@glowingtwig
@mia2201
@Redfoxinthesnow
@Seasalt1984
@laurat94
@tamsin424
@cocoloco88
@SuzieDeLaTour
@Cordial11
@seasalt1984
@thehotelcalifornia
@TheDaydreamBelievers
@Pettylamby
@Lililou
@Enola41
@CocoLoco88
@Nicolamac1
@Sleeeeeepy
@Mellous
@Nicolamac1
@Semla
@Seasidestarfruit
@mummydoingamasters
@elm7
@MrsD1992
@CookieMonster3001
@Dryshampoo32

Sincere apologies for missing anyone xx

@Seasalt1984 it is such a back and forth of emotions when you get that negative - I cannot wait to get another positive but to get there I needed that negative! I've been getting through this whole thing by setting little goals, getting my op, stopping bleeding, symptoms disappearing, negative test, signs of ovulation... So now just the period to go and I can go back to obsessing over opks and charts on premom but hopefully only for one or two cycles.

Have you had your first period? Sorry I get lost where everyone is at in their story! 🙈

I will be terrified again when I do get pregnant but I've already decided no downloading of apps and I'll report it later to the midwife and another early scan. It's gonna be so hard when all I have known is loss but just gotta keep remembering all those people who just get pregnant and have a baby... And hope that next time that'll be me! 😊

@Pettylamby oh that’s great news about your negative, I’m very envious. It’s only 6 days post op for me and I foolishly decided to test with a hcg strip this morning and it was very much full blown pregnant 😩 just a tad lighter than the control line. I knew it would be but I still hated seeing it and now kicking myself for testing so soon! 🤦‍♀️ I think your approach of setting yourself little goals is a great way to do it. I’m going to try and follow your approach xx

@Pettylamby I'm so pleased you got the negative but it certainly does bring up a range of emotions. I'll definitely be banning apps/fluffy accounts of early pregnancy. I feel that a lot of apps gloss over the chances of miscarriage which makes it that much more isolating when it does happen.

@Boredinthehouse12 thanks for sharing your experiences. I'm waiting for my first post miscarriage period and there seems to be so much variation, so it's helpful to read your account of your first miscarriage. I hope your recovery is going well.

@Ralala it's only natural to blame ourselves and overthink; like you I do a lot of sport and I'm still questioning myself, I'm trying to focus on all the info that highlights the benefits of exercise but it is hard. I echo everything @SuzieDeLaTour says, no one will blame you.

@SuzieDeLaTour it's so hard not to test but at least you have a baseline idea of what your tests look like and next week it will be lighter and it means you are one week closer to being able to start again(if you plan to) that's how I started looking at it! I chucked out everything relating to my miscarriage today, tests, booklets and letters so it's officially a fresh start!

@Redfoxinthesnow I was already very aware of the risks as my best pal has had two miscarriages but I agree the apps don't help! I want to be that person that gets pregnant and is just happy and relaxed but it's just never gonna happen! 🙈

@pettylamby no not had period yet I'm 2 weeks 3 days post med management. My cycles are usually quite short, 24-25 days but I know it can take longer after MC. Trying to wait patiently

I completely agree re getting pregnant again will be a whole heap of emotions! We're going to wait until after period before ttc as I feel like I'm still processing things...but keen to get going after period as I feel like it might be the official drawing a line under it if that makes sense?!

@Pettylamby I'm glad that the BFN was a positive experience for you ❤️ and while it's sad that so many people around you have also suffered a MC, how lovely that you have so many positive success stories surrounding you too?!

@Lililou I'm glad you're doing ok ❤️ and it's so good to talk about it isn't it?! I actually ended up posting on Facebook and it was so liberating.

@SuzieDeLaTour thank you, but I think at least it's all over now! Physically at least.

I've not bled at all in the last two days other than the tiniest spot of pink cm yesterday! Which I'm kind of shocked about considering the heavy bleeding and tissue I had on Wednesday. Maybe that was the end of it though? I know you can start randomly bleeding/spotting again so I'm trying to keep myself aware of that so it doesn't catch me by surprise. But equally I'm so excited that this might be it!! How long do we have to wait to DTD after the bleeding stops haha? 👀 Fwiw my HCG tests are definitely getting lighter but still strong-ish. My MVA was a week ago yesterday but I suppose my HCG might have stayed up a bit due to the retained tissue that i only just passed on Wednesday.

Evening ladies. How is everyone? Another week survived...thank god for the weekend!

@LauraT94 that all sounds good. I waited 2 weeks post procedure and about 3 days post any spotting to have sex!

I've been so busy at work so been pretty distracted from everything baby related. My 20mlU test was negative, my 10mlU had the finest of lines. Going to test with a FRER Sunday and hope for a squinter! I have managed to find 2 local fertility/pregnancy reflexology specialists though so am going to start that post lockdown to help with the stress and anxity

Sending everyone lots of love xx

@AMS19 that’s a good thing you’ve been able to distract yourself with work. Oooooo fingers crossed for Sunday using the FRER.

Xxxx

How you doing @DMT1982 ? Xx

@Pettylamby you’re right, it will give me a baseline and I’m going to try not to obsessively check every day. I’m aiming to leave it all weekend as I’m still bleeding and I doubt it will magically be much lighter! 😀
@AMS19 that’s good work is offering you a decent distraction from all things baby-related!! That’s good your tests are coming back negative, fingers crossed for a squinter on Sunday! 😂

Hope you’ve all had a good Friday and lovely relaxing weekends planned! Xx

You're almost there on the BFN @AMS19!

I'm having a hard day - close pal is pregnant and announced today after their 12 week scan. So I spent a good hour sobbing!

@SuzieDeLaTour yeah part of me is exhausted from work but another part is happy to be busy. How you doing lovely? Xx

@TheDaydreamBelievers I'm sorry it's so bloody crappy! It's like a proper kick to the stomach. But your time WILL come. Who knows you might even have caught already. This heartache and pain will all be worth it when you get your baby ❤

@AMS19 sorry that message was short my hubby arrived home and I quickly sent it before I got sidetracked.

Reflexology will be fantastic and will definitely relax you so massive thumbs up to that. Apparently acupuncture is supposed to be relaxing but also good for improving blood flow to the uterus. Not sure I fancy being a pin cushion though!

I’ve been having cramps like I’m getting a UTI over the last new days but haven’t got a UTI so not sure what’s occurring. I’ve still got the egg white discharge as well so I do wonder whether we are ovulating. It’ll be interesting to see when our periods land as we both had the procedures a day apart. Other than that all ok and have sorted my eating out and eating a rainbow of food plus more fibre just to see if that helps my tummy out.

Hoping to get my exercise mojo back this weekend as it’s been hiding away (Under the crisps and chocolate!!) I will push myself to get out for a run during my lunch break on Monday or Tuesday as i always feel better after a run.

If you want a delicious veggie recipe then try burnt aubergine chilli Bbc good food it’s amazing xxx

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/burnt-aubergine-veggie-chilli/amp Xxx

@dmt1982 all sounds really positive!! I havent had anymore EWCM since last weekend but today been getting lots of shooting pains and cramping. Hoping it's all the hormones and nothing to worry about. No bleeding or anything.
Exercise will definitely make you feel better. I've been doing short 20min workouts each day so not much but enough to help mentally! Need to up my cardio really too though as my workouts are more resistance
Thats recipe looks amazing thank you! Xx

@TheDaydreamBelievers aww lovely, it’s so tough when that happens. I keep dreading one of my friends announcing they’re pregnant. BUT like @AMS19 said, your time will come and you’ll be the one making the announcement ❤️
@AMS19 I’m ok thanks 😘 glad it’s the weekend. Plan to do a little bit of pampering this weekend...! Xx

@AMS19 I ended up spotting this afternoon so I was definitely getting ahead of myself 😂 I'll try and at least have a few days spotting free before we DTD! Your tests sound really good, I bet it'll be a BFN in no time! Am I right in thinking FRER are 6mIU?

@TheDaydreamBelievers I've had the same thing just happen. Friend in question is 14 weeks and just had her '12 week scan'. She was kind enough to message us and let us know before telling our other friends/sharing publicly which was really sweet of her! Of course I'm happy for her but it does really hurt too. We should have been just a few weeks apart. So I totally feel for you right now ❤️

@DMT1982 I'm with you on needing to get back to exercise! I'm still isolating but dying to go for a walk. I pay £25 a month for an online yoga subscription at the mo which I'm not using so I'll have to do a class tomorrow I think!!

@SuzieDeLaTour oh lovely what have you got planned! Love a bit of self love and pamper time

@LauraT94 still all moving in the right direction through! Yeah FRER is 6mlU and you need less than 5 to be classes as not pregnant/ovulate usually so I'd take a squinter on a FRER. To be honest I'll be glad to just stop testing. Once I get a negative on my 10mlU I can stop testing completely and the next time I take a test will be when I'm late on a period and hopefully a positive! Xx

Hi all,

I'm sorry to hear of everyone's experiences. It looks/sounds like you have a lovely supportive board here and I would love to join if possible?

I recently had a missed in December at 7 +3 weeks. I'm currently on my first AF since the miscarriage but still in the throes of things being different and wondering if I'm ever going to return to 'normal' and be able to TTC again. I've still been having some brands of tests return positive but others return negative so hoping post period they'll all return negative. Feel like I've gone mad testing on different types of tests but early in the miscarriage I brought a load of tests in the hope I would get pregnant quickly and now I'm thinking worried that fingers crossed when I do get a BFP if I haven't seen that brand of test negative yet I won't trust it.

My GP is happy that my HCG levels have been falling so that feels like it's the right direction but I've also not been scanned to see if there is any retained products which has been worrying me so I've booked myself in for a private pelvic/fertility scan at the start of February so hopeful that will put my mind at ease and means I can start the ttc journey again.

Morning @PlantMummy87 of course you can join. I'm so so sorry to hear what you've been through. It is one of the hardest things. There is no time frame on when emotionally you heal, I don't think many of us ever will completely.
In terms of your HCG levels you may well find post period they do all go blank, as I was told by my consultant your first period usually clears any remaining bits of small tissue left. So hopefully in a week or so they are all showing negative. The scan sounds like a good idea regardless though for peace of mind. In terms of TTC there is no rush, takes it day by day and see how you feel. Some ladies on here aren't trying at all, some not for a while and some have jumped straight back in. There is no right answer. Whatever you decide will absolutely be the right answer for you! Xx

@AMS19 that’s interesting you’ve had the cramps and shooting pains as well, sure it’s normal as we’ve both had it plus I remember another lady asking about pains that felt like a UTI on the previous thread.

Do you miss going into the office or don’t mind working from home? Xxx

@PlantMummy87 thanks for posting and of course you can join.

So sorry to hear what you’ve been through and are still going through. I totally get that you just want to be able to move onto TTC and feel normal again. It’s positive you’re HCG levels are going down but like you say there is a worry in the back of your mind about retaining products and I would be the same as I’m expecting to have a negative test once my period comes so if I don’t I’ll be getting a scan as well just for peace of mind and then when you start trying again you know you’re good to go instead of worrying something isn’t quite right. Keep testing though because you may as well if you have the tests to see if they get lighter xx

@LauraT94 I’ve always wondered whether having an on line subscription to exercise would make me do it. Are they live classes or all pre recorded? I used to do Les Mills Body Attack classes at the gym but not sure it’ll be the same in my front room! Xx

@DMT1982 it was so uncomfortable I had to take paracetamol. It came out of nowhere and lasted about 20mins and was quite intense. Like a really bad stitch. I do wonder if it was to do with ovulation, albeit my 10mlU test is still positive so not quite sure. I'm hoping by Thursday my tests will be negative as that was 4 weeks post mva.
Have you started on all your new supplements? Fridays are cheat day dinner wise so had pizza and chicken wings for dinner with a alcohol free beer or two! All very unhealthy but will be back to being good today. I've ordered the ingredients for that chilli recipe so will give that a whirl next week 😊

@AMS19 yes I took paracetamol as well and went to bed with a hot water bottle (it was at night that I started to feel it) and it kept me awake. I also think it maybe ovulation but only because of the timing and the discharge. I think one of the other ladies on here was also questioning if she was ovulating as well around the same time post procedure. I have never used those ovulation strips with any success however I do know a lot of ladies swear by them.

No I haven’t started them yet as wanted to start on a new week instead of half way through (don’t know what, a bit like starting a diet on a Monday I suppose!) so Monday I’m starting them!

I have a stack of those non alcoholic beers and don’t mind them. Also have you tried seedlip non alcoholic gin? It’s not cheap but it’s really lovely and mixed with tonic, ice and a slice of lemon/lime you wouldn’t know it wasn’t real gin.

It’s good to have a day off and all in moderation other you crave stuff. Pizza and chicken wings, yum 😋
Xxx