Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC - Thread 2. ALL welcome!

[AMS19]

Hi ladies

This thread is open for EVERYONE. To discuss the highs, lows, emotions, and experiences of us all going through our miscarriage journey. Together we will get through this!

Previous thread:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/miscarriage/4119053-Support-thread-for-those-experiencing-or-recently-experienced-a-MC-MMC?pg=1

To my incredible strong warriors...I cannot believe we filled a thread! We've got this ladies ❤
@DMT1982
@Scottishskifun
@glowingtwig
@mia2201
@Redfoxinthesnow
@Seasalt1984
@laurat94
@tamsin424
@cocoloco88
@SuzieDeLaTour
@Cordial11
@seasalt1984
@thehotelcalifornia
@TheDaydreamBelievers
@Pettylamby
@Lililou
@Enola41
@CocoLoco88
@Nicolamac1
@Sleeeeeepy
@Mellous
@Nicolamac1
@Semla
@Seasidestarfruit
@mummydoingamasters
@elm7
@MrsD1992
@CookieMonster3001
@Dryshampoo32

Sincere apologies for missing anyone xx

Morning everyone, just caught up on the last couple of days’ messages.

It’s reassuring to see people talking about the impact of MC on their relationships. My DH and I have been arguing quite a lot in the last few days which is unusual for us - I’m hoping it’s just stress and tiredness...

We haven’t yet had the conversation about when to try again - maybe it’s way too soon to even be thinking about it (a week post med management) but it’s been helpful to read people’s thoughts on it here.

I do think that waiting for another period could drive me mad, given that it could be 3-5 months based on how it was last year?! 😤

Really happy for everyone who is testing negative or seeing levels slowly come down as time goes on. For the first time today since we got the news it feels like I can see a way through to the other side. We’ve all got this x

Hi all, I’ve been absent from the thread for a couple of weeks, but have been reading regularly, it’s given me a lot of comfort so thank you all so much xx. Update on me, I had medical management of a blighted ovum on 19th Dec. I still had positive tests this week and have never really stopped bleeding since I did the treatment. Scan on Thursday confirmed retained products and I’m repeating the medical management this weekend. It’s been so frustrating as I suspected all along that the treatment wasn’t quite successful and being in this weird limbo is so tiring. Work have been great and I’ve just been working gently this week, with the whole week off next week. I just want to start living again!
It’s been lovely to see that those of you who had treatment around same time as me are getting there now. Really hope I’m joining you soon!

@CocoLoco88 I certainly found me and my husband were treading on eggshells around each other then when one of us would say something without thinking the other one would bite and then we would fall out, we don’t really argue that much so it was strange. Maybe the TTC conversation is like an elephant in the room and you both don’t know when to bring the subject up again and could be making you both tense without knowing it? Obviously going through a loss puts a strain on both of your emotions and tests even the strongest of relationships but you’ll come out the other side and stronger as a couple xxx

Things have been up and down with our relationship too. I’m fully aware that I’ve been properly self absorbed over these weeks and DP has been really taken aback by how hard it has hit me. I think we’re getting there now and this experience has strengthened our relationship and improved our communication- trying to take some positives from the situation! We’ve been bidding on a house through all this as well- not sure if it’s been a good distraction or added to the stress!

@Semla that’s awful you have got to go through the medical management again. Your gut instinct is usually right and you had a feeling it wasn’t all gone and you were right!
I hope this time round it works and they then rescan you soon afterwards to check it’s al gone and you can then start to get back to a level of normality xxx

Re relationships I think you go into a sort of self preservation mode and the partner/husband feels a bit pushed out and helpless as they can’t help or protect us from what has happened. It’s good that it’s made you stronger through because you’re forced to speak about feelings and that doesn’t usually happen with men as they are closed books a lot of the time xxx

@DMT1982 oh thats so interesting. I actually accidentally peed on an OPK instead of a HCG strip yesterday morning (they all look the same) and it was quite a dark line so it would have made sense that I ovulted yesterday as in my cycle I always got zero LH and then a 24 hour surge then zero again. Strange how it was so painful like that though.
Ha definitely makes sense on the Monday thing! I've never understood people who can start a diet half way through the week! Well fingers crossed if we have both ovualted we will be due a period in a couple of weeks 🤞🤞 xx

@CocoLoco88 lovely to hear from you. Yes it definitely puts a huge strain on. My husband asked me yesterday about how I could be part of a group of ladies who are all pregnant (another TTC thread i used to be on where we stay in touch). And I said i actually feel okay about it now. Then we spoke about it all for a while and he does seem okay with it. Though he is as eager as me to get pregnant ASAP!

@Semla I think communication is key, even if is is through arguing. Its much better than bottling it up inside. That's super exciting about the house though! Are you looking to move far?

@Semla sorry I missed your first post! I'm really sorry to hear that what an absolute pain for you. Hopefully this time less painful with less tissue. Gosh what a journey for you. But you'll definitely get there. Hopefully in couple of weeks you'll be feeling much more positive! Lots of love xx

@AMS19 you pee’d on the wrong stick lol. That was meant to happen to show you’re ovulating maybe 🤔

Apparently you ovulate early after a miscarriage (gynaecologist told me that) so maybe after having the procedure it resets everything (massive uneducated guess!!)

Only time will tell and so I’m actually excited to see when my period arrives so I know where I’m at and will know everything is working as it should be xxx

@AMS19 my husband also finds its strange I’m on mumsnet chatting and I said to him that it’s comforting chatting to others going through the same and we are all rooting for each other to have a successful pregnancy xxx

@AMS19 @DMT1982 thanks so much. It just feels like a lifetime! I’ve got a follow up appointment a week on Monday so it feels good to have a concrete plan. We really want to start trying again ASAP 🤞.
Think we’ve missed out on the house but it has been fun to go to viewings etc. We are currently living in the apartment I owned before we met and it’s definitely a bit small for 2 let alone potentially 3 so looking for a house with garden! Luckily we can wait until the perfect house comes up, if there’s such a thing!

@DMT1982 I absolutely sh*t myself when I saw the dark line then realised it was an OPK! Nearly had heart failure my hcg tests were going backwards. Is that even a thing that can happen?! But yeah it was pretty dark. You're right, maybe subconsciously I was meant to pee on it to stop em worrying about the intense pain later that night 😂😂 I find it incredibly comforting talking to you all. I like we are all going down different paths in terms of TTC too as I would feel so much pressure if that's what it was all about. I like the main focus here is about physical and mental recovery rather than getting pregnant again.

P.s. took a leaf out your book and ordered some miniature wines! I used to do that in lockdown 1 to curb my drinking habits so good shout! Xx

@Semla oh bugger! But definitely wasn't meant to be and now you can find something even better! ❤
If you want to try again straight away before a period go for it. We arent trying as such but are having sex every couple of days without protection. Although I've still got faint positives so assumed I wouldn't be ovulating. Just go with what feels right when the time comes!

@AMS19 - those mini bottles of wine are a rip off but they definitely curb my drinking so I’ll keep buying them. I had a glass of red last night from one of them, I actually didn’t want another glass afterwards which was good.

Yes I agree it’s lovely we are all at different stages both in our recovery and TTC journeys. I love the support and advice everyone takes the time to post on here as well it’s great.

@Semla that’s annoying you missed out on the house but the one you end up buying will be ‘the one’. It’s definitely good to be able to distract yourself viewing properties though as it’s exciting planning for the future and not just concentrating on what’s going on with your body xxx

@Semla also really good you have a follow up appointment so you’re not left in limbo again xxx

@DMT1982 asda have 4 for 3 and there only about £1.50/£2 each. So actually doesn't work out any different to a bottle! If you have a asda worth a try! Xx

@AMS19 I don’t have an Asda close however Tesco do the same kind of deal so I’ll pop in there as usually shop in Aldi. Thanks for the heads up though as I’ll know that if I go past an Asda xxx

@DMT1982 also to mention menthod fabric softener is currently on offer and even cheaper if you wanted to stock up!

www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B07LGS5V1Y/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_fabc_Ax.cGb8KJN2WV?psc=1&_encoding=UTF8&tag=mumsnetforu03-21

Xx

@AMS19 thank you. I was going to order off Amazon then found it in Waitrose (we have one close by so pop there for the odd thing not weekly shop!) for £2.50 I think it was and because my husband has the Amazon prime in his name I could buy it without him knowing this time but thanks for posting because it won’t always be that cheap in there and then I’ll head to Amazon 😊 xxx
Oh I also bought the eco washing liquid for clothes as well, he’s not noticed yet lol!! Xxx

Ps I’m running out of places to hide all the stuff im buying without him knowing!!!

I bought beeswax wraps for food the other day and eco bags for the food in the fridge. He found these though!! Xxx

@DMT1982 ah great stuff! My husband has given in! Except the kettle so this is my daily ritual for coffee making 😂😂

Also on the subject of food (from earlier in the thread) have you ever tried ordering from Gusto on line? We’ve done it for the second time as a treat (you’ll find loads of discount codes on line) and we still use the recipes from the box we had ages ago. They give you all the recipe cards and exact ingredients they are good xx

@AMS19 that shows you’re compromising boiling water in a pan haha xx

@DMT1982 I've tried hello fresh previously but found it quite overpriced compared to buying ingredients form a supermarket. But I am running out of things to cook so might be a good shout if try one of those again. Ate they generally quite healthy? Xx

Brown spotting today go guess I'm heading into AF. Almost 8 weeks since MMC surgery, 7dpo and 7 days since BFN post MMC.