Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC - Thread 2. ALL welcome!

[AMS19]

Hi ladies

This thread is open for EVERYONE. To discuss the highs, lows, emotions, and experiences of us all going through our miscarriage journey. Together we will get through this!

Previous thread:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/miscarriage/4119053-Support-thread-for-those-experiencing-or-recently-experienced-a-MC-MMC?pg=1

To my incredible strong warriors...I cannot believe we filled a thread! We've got this ladies ❤
@DMT1982
@Scottishskifun
@glowingtwig
@mia2201
@Redfoxinthesnow
@Seasalt1984
@laurat94
@tamsin424
@cocoloco88
@SuzieDeLaTour
@Cordial11
@seasalt1984
@thehotelcalifornia
@TheDaydreamBelievers
@Pettylamby
@Lililou
@Enola41
@CocoLoco88
@Nicolamac1
@Sleeeeeepy
@Mellous
@Nicolamac1
@Semla
@Seasidestarfruit
@mummydoingamasters
@elm7
@MrsD1992
@CookieMonster3001
@Dryshampoo32

Sincere apologies for missing anyone xx

@Neady1980 we have started DTD again also. Mixed emotions to be honest. I wanted to feel close to hubby again and also I do want to fall pregnant again but also worried about falling pregnant and also worried we don’t fall pregnant. Maybe we should have waited until my head was in a better place but I’m fairly confident I haven’t ovulated yet. I suppose we aren’t preventing as opposed to tracking.

What a mind dump!

@Ralala your 100% the same as myself, I'm trying so hard about not thinking about getting pregnant again. My OH has been absolutely amazing,better than what I thought he would be in fairness. I just cant stop thinking about the what it's. Like what if we properly try and it doesnt work out.
As my OH said to me, he knew my changes of conceiving were very slim and he also accepted the fact that it wasnt going to happen. He agrees with me to carry on as we have, but then I think maybe just maybe the next time we could actually be successful and have a baby.
Think my emotions are still all over the place xx

Morning everyone. My AF seemed to return yesterday 4 weeks and a day post MC, but after fairly "medium flow" start in the morning it seemed to have slowed right down by bed time and has stopped over night. I was expecting heavy flow, but sounds a little bit like yours @ams19. Has yours started up again? Feels a bit disconcerting but guess it's everything just settling down again hopefully.

@AMS19 fantastic news you’re period has arrived. Sorry I’m late to the party on this one I’m just catching up. Roll on February 14th xxx

@Seasalt1984 oh wow identical to me then! It's very light now and stopping and starting. Much more spotting now. Bur having spoken to some others it seems this is really common, the first period being very light and on and off for a few days. I'm fine with that as long as its long gone by ovulation 🙂 took my ultra sensitive cheapie today and that's BFN so negative of 3/4 beands. Will try a FRER with tomorrow or Friday then can hopefully finally stop HCG testing and start LH testing! Non stop peeing in a cup these days 😂😂😂

@DMT1982 thank you. Hope you're well xxx

@ams19 ah thanks, that's reassuring to hear it sounds fairly normal! I agree, hopefully it will be done in a few days. That's great news about the BFNs! Haha I know what you mean re cup, I've left one under the sink in the bathroom...I don't think DH has noticed! 😂

@AMS19 and @Seasalt1984 thanks for posting about your periods because at least I know what to expect when my arrives as I used to have pretty light periods pre miscarriages so wasn’t sure what to expect really. I’m 5 weeks post op today and other than really had spots over my face I have no idea when my period will start. I meant to buy some pregnancy test strips yesterday but I forgot, doh, i bought everything but them!

I’m relieved for you both that your bodies are getting back to normal xx

@AMS19 @Seasalt1984 mine was the same. Only a couple of days light bleeding then spotting a few more days. Assuming the ERPC had already cleaned out the lining quite a bit

@AMS19 @Seasalt1984 it's good to hear your body's are getting back to normal. Mine was quite similar 4 weeks after the mc was expected it to be completely different. Have been weirdly spotting on/off since the end of it, but at scan was reassured things look fine and just body sorting itself out.

@DMT1982 I was in a similar boat where I had no PMS symptoms in the run up to first period post miscarriage and then it just started, so hopefully you won't be waiting too much longer too.

Fingers crossed for your FRER response @AMS19, I'm still waiting for a negative FRER, will take at take it at the weekend.

@PlantMummy87 thanks so much for your reassurance. I never used to get any period symptoms other than PMT according to my husband and would only know I was due on as I was spot on with my cycles every month. I’m sure it’ll arrive when it’s ready xxx

@wag1987 I hope all goes well with your procedure and that they give you lots of pain relief. As awful as it is at the time, hopefully you’ll be able to take some closure from it and start the healing process xx
@glowingtwig your poor body. It’s a huge thing to go through so I’m not surprised you’re reacting physically 😰 hopefully getting some answers helps with the anxiety / uncertainty you were feeling and you can start to find ways to manage what you’re going through xx
@AMS19 wow that does sound like a short period! I think it’s quite nice to have a light period after all the bleeding - I’m hoping mine will be the same as yours! That’s great 3/4 of your tests have come back negative, you’re all set to go now with a new month, fresh cycle and lots of DTD!! 😜 xx

@AMS19 @Seasalt1984 @TheDaydreamBelievers did anybody find their luteal phase lengthened? My period usually arrives 11dpo usually with spotting beforehand for 2 days.... Today is 11dpo and nothing! Felt like I might have been getting some cramps overnight at work but now not sure if that was just standard nightshift bloat! 🤷🏼‍♀️

@Pettylamby Nope - mine was super super short! Like 6 days or so.

A few things to think:

1. are you sure you ovulated? If only using OPKs then maybe your body gave it a shot but didnt manage and will try again later.
2. post MC messing up your luteal phase and lengthening it. Not yet weirdly long so Im sure itll get there
3. tentative hope at a BFP?

@Pettylamby Sorry meant to clarify that mine was clearly affected by post MC in being weirdly and too short.

@TheDaydreamBelievers

I don't temp so can't be sure but I really hope I'm not still waiting on ovulation! 🙈

I do have some period symptoms... Spotty face, was a bit emotional the other day and I've got an ulcer in my mouth suggesting I'm a bit run down.

I used to have textbook 28 day cycles before I came off the pill and it messed everything up so maybe my body will reset to that... Who knows! I wouldn't be mad at all with a longer luteal phase!

99% sure it wont be a bfp... We only dtd one week post surgical and he pulled out. We did dtd a few days ago as well but that was way past what I thought was O day!

Who knows now! 🙈

Maybe just nightshift confusing my body!

Thanks @plantmummy87 and @TheDaydreamBelievers it's so reassuring to hear that other people have experienced the same thing with first AF. Most things I've read suggested it'd be super heavy so it's a relief to know it sounds normal.

@Pettylamby I didn't track ovulation after MC but based on EWCM I ovulated pretty early around 10 days post mc (would normally be CD12/13) and my cycle was longer than normal so I'd guess my leuteal phase was about 19 days... definitely not my normal pattern. I think first month everything is a bit up in the air the first cycle after whilst it all settles back down. Hope you don't have to wait too long x

@AMS19 sorry I didn't reply before I didn't see it. Thank you for the leaflet had a read of this and helped prepare me. Had the procedure today and was not the nicest experience I've ever had. Hope your ok x

@wag1987 I'm sorry I knows it's really tough to experience. But the worst is over now and you can slowly start to heal. I'm 5 weeks post MVA tomorrow and honestly it feels a lifetime ago! Being pregnant feels like a lifetime ago now. So ready to be pregnant again now. It's amazing how quickly the mind and body can heal. Don't get me wrong, it's still super hard, but I've made a lot of progress and you will too.

@TheDaydreamBelievers thanks good to know yours was also the same. Mine is on and off. Can go hours with nothing then I wipe and it's back! I'm gonna just up the POM juice and hopefully rebuild with a fresh fluffy lining (no idea what that even means!)

@Seasalt1984 I'm the same had expected loads to come out! Are you going to TTC this cycle?

@DMT1982 hopefully not far behind!!

@AMS19 I could have written that message to @wag1987 myself! 5 weeks today since my MVA and it feels like a lifetime ago, it actually feels like it didn't happen to me, it feels like it happened to a different version of me to the one I am now? Does that make sense? So so ready to be pregnant again.

@ams19 I'm spotting a bit now so does sound like my AF is like yours and the other ladies! Yes the plan is back to TTC this cycle. I'm feeling pretty positive about it (I think!) but trying to stay grounded at same time. I'm nearly 37 so a little conscious of time but keeping fingers crossed and hoping for the best. Will keep everything crossed for you for this month too!! 🤞

@Pettylamby it's so strange isn't it? Like a distant nightmare I had rather than something I actually experienced only a month ago. Time is definitely a healer in this case. Definitely makes sense! It's like you'll never forget the details, but they don't hurt the same way they did? I'm seeing that as a rehearsal for the real thing. Having never been pregnant before I now know what's to come, and I'm so ready for it!

@Seasalt1984 definitely like mine! I got hours with nothing them bam, blood again, then nothing. So odd! Eeek I have everything crossed for both of us. We should be more fertile and our chances should be better this time, so let's hang onto that and throw our all at it! We've got this!! Xx

Hey ladies, how are we all doing? Have been reading everyday but haven't had a chance to reply properly, apologies.

I tested negative on a FRER today, 22 days after my ERPC. Well, I swear I can see a very very faint shadow of line but haven't told DH as he'll think I'm an absolute mentalist, but counting it as a negative. So that's good I guess. Had a little cry this morning but feeling okay now and trying to focus on the fact that it's good my body has recognised it's over and has got me back to normal (anyone else talk about their body as if independent from their mind throughout all this!?) so onto waiting for ovulation and a period now. May BD with DH tonight depending on how I feel; we haven't yet but I'd like to feel close to him and I'm sure he's super keen haha so I think I might. I'm tracking CM slightly but really have no idea what's happening, and haven't had any dark lines on OPKs yet. I could also have missed my ovulation and will just get a period, so who knows really. Just so anxious to get my period and have a fresh cycle and just start again. May even invest in the clearblue ovulation kit this cycle so that we can just throw everything at it.

@AMS19 I'm very sorry that this wasn't your month. I totally get how you're feeling. I'm so gutted and annoyed that we've been told to wait for a period and I'm the kind of person who won't go against that annoyingly haha so we have to wait. But if I hadn't been told that I'd have been cracking on, and would be upset like you. But I also think it's absolutely for the best to have a fresh cycle and start from scratch, and I'm really proud of you for looking at it that way as it's difficult to do. Like you say, lovely fresh, fluffy lining all ready for implantation. What are you planning to do this month to get your BFP? It's all I'm thinking about at the moment so maybe we can share our plans? If you want to, of course! Looks like lots of ladies are having their first post-MC period at the moment xxx

Hey @TheHotelCalifornia honestly that's such great news about the FRER. I totally appreciate its hard, but it's so much better than weeks of waiting for it to happen. So fed up of peeing on sticks wishing for a negative. You now can have a fresh start and clean slate.

Things I'm doing differently this time:

I've reduced my plastic use
Taking 400mg of Ubiquinol each day
Drinking POM juice
Following a medderterranean diet and being extra healthy (with the naughty bit of chocolate here and there)
Cut out all caffeine (never went back post mmc)
Cut out all most alcohol

I'm hoping that's a good start. I have fertility reflexology and conceive plus lube up my sleeve for the next cycle if needed! Do you have any exciting tips? I think if this point someone told me eating mud would help I'd give it a try 😂😂 lots of love xx

I'm happy to share my plans @TheHotelCalifornia - I'm taking vit D, folic, B Complex and considering Coq10 if this cycle isnt a winner. I'm currently CD12, my app isnt sure when to expect a fertile time so we are aiming to DTD at least every 2nd day (poor/lucky DH depending on how you look at it!).

I should add they are the things that are different @TheHotelCalifornia taking pregnacare, OPK and BBT tracking, but did that cycle 1 too! Also planning to have sex every other day once the spotting stops completely, the tracking is more for interest. Although will try to do it a couple of times extra if/when I see a surge!