Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC - Thread 2. ALL welcome!

[AMS19]

Hi ladies

This thread is open for EVERYONE. To discuss the highs, lows, emotions, and experiences of us all going through our miscarriage journey. Together we will get through this!

Previous thread:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/miscarriage/4119053-Support-thread-for-those-experiencing-or-recently-experienced-a-MC-MMC?pg=1

To my incredible strong warriors...I cannot believe we filled a thread! We've got this ladies ❤
@DMT1982
@Scottishskifun
@glowingtwig
@mia2201
@Redfoxinthesnow
@Seasalt1984
@laurat94
@tamsin424
@cocoloco88
@SuzieDeLaTour
@Cordial11
@seasalt1984
@thehotelcalifornia
@TheDaydreamBelievers
@Pettylamby
@Lililou
@Enola41
@CocoLoco88
@Nicolamac1
@Sleeeeeepy
@Mellous
@Nicolamac1
@Semla
@Seasidestarfruit
@mummydoingamasters
@elm7
@MrsD1992
@CookieMonster3001
@Dryshampoo32

Sincere apologies for missing anyone xx

@Scottishskifun great stuff. Please don't worry if you have a line, these tests really are the finishing line to get past, not the first hurdle. I was using cheap strip tests first because I know these would take ages to go negative 🙂

My cycle was 27 days before, with ovulation of CD13. So hopefully back end of next week. Realise things might take a while to regulate however but I'll start tracking so I can keep an eye on it. Hopefully you're body will snap back and you might even find your cycles regulate better now

@AMS19 I'm delighted for you and exactly 4 weeks, I'll have everything crossed for you

Roll on Saturday when I can actually test and hopefully its negative although if I'm honest I feel like I'm ovulating already, I have all the symptoms I normally get so I actually think that sharp pain in my bum that I got was the start of ovulation although by right I shouldn't be ovulating yet, but I suppose my body is still trying to get back to normal x

@Neady1980 thank you. The sharp pain I got was 12 days ago so would fit with period starting today! So fingers crossed. I definitely had all the signs of ovulation too, but wasn't meant to be. Trusting my body to wait for the right egg now (however impatient I'm feeling!) Xx

@AMS19 your body is definitely waiting for the right egg and new lining to start the process again.
I hope I am ovulating because at least I know my body is getting back to normal but I definitely have all my usual symptoms today x

@AMS19 glad AF showed up for you and you can get your fresh start

Hi, sorry I've been quiet.

Sorry to hear of the new people that have recently joined. I hope that finding this group will give you some support.

Sorry to hear about the unsupportive MILs too. I only recently told my mum (yesterday) 7 weeks after the miscarriage and haven't told my partner's parents.

I had a final scan yesterday to check that there was no retained products and they said all is looking good which was such a relief. They even said it looks like I've ovulated this cycle, although my BBT and OPK don't match up to this so I'll keep doing OPK for a bit longer and if nothing just start again next cycle. Starting to feel like my body is getting back to normality. Had a little cry when I got home as felt like this was the last hurdle I needed to get through, although still getting a squinted on the FRER I did last week so hoping that if I leave it until the weekend it will come back -ve.

Hi @PlantMummy87 great news on the scan. I know its hard. These hurdles are all bitter-sweet. On one hand you want things to move forward, on the other each hurdle feels sad to highlight the end.

My period was super short and looks like it's stopping. I think it was definitely a period, too much to be spotting, just a very quick one?! Let's see. I took my temp this morning and it was low, a pre ovulation temp. So who knows 🤷‍♀️

Sorry I’m way behind with all the posts now.

Can anyway help with this question?
I feel like I’m ovulating (EWCM although a little bloody as such and slight pain in left ovary). I stopped bleeding 2 days ago. I tried a IC and it’s still an obvious positive.

Can I ovulate whilst still positive ?

It’s so confusing what’s happening to my body.

Hope everyone is ok xx

@Jam291 hi! So there is nothing clear cut but I was told you need hcg below 5 (so negative on a FRER) to ovulate. I also had some EWCM and ovulation pain when my ICs were still positive however so I don't think it's a hard rule and suspect everyone is different!

Hi all, just catching up. Big hugs to those having a bad week. I’m finding taking each day as it comes helps.

Also glad to hear AF arrived!

I’m cd15 post miscarriage bleeding. I got a negative on a 10ml hcg strip today. Will try a frer at the weekend but it looks as though my hcg has dropped back to low levels. Hopeful a frer is negative with first morning urine . Fingers crossed!

@PlantMummy87 totally understandable about being upset after the scan. It’s the finality of it all which is hard xxx

Hi @AMS19

Thanks! I need to get myself a FRER, are they expensive? Don’t want to waste anymore money on tests at the moment 😂spent so much on clear blue digitals 🤦🏽‍♀️. My IC are the most sensitive ( don’t know how reliable but it was a pretty clear positive still ). Sorry if I this is TMI, but I had brown like bloody EWCM / spotting today, so I think I’m still in the MC maybe and not ovulating as such. I’m 10 days post miscarriage,so maybe too early. Can feel myself starting to become thinking too much about ovulation and need to chill out a little bit I think ....
( became like that on my previous MMC and it took over my life almost).

@PlantMummy87 💞💞 have a cry and let it all out, hope you are ok as can be! I had my scan last Tuesday to confirm I had ‘passed everything’ I was doing ok, and then I broke down. Know how you are feeling completely.

@Ralala . fingers crossed for you! 💞💞💞

@Summersun001 @SuzieDeLaTour well the GP says it's stress, anxiety and probable PTSD after my dramatic mc Christmas Day with the ambulance ride. All my blood tests were fine and she did tonnes. At least I won't have to pay for the thyroid one at the private recurrent mc clinic I guess.

I did have carpal tunnel too with my previous pregnancy and I had assumed this was the same as started in my most recent pregnancy - but can't be that as I'm not preg any more.

Wondering if we might have DTD enough times to have a decent shot at this month. Did it cd 8,11,13 ovulated day 14... would usually have had at least another two goes on ov day and the day after but I just couldn't find the energy - I felt so stressed. Feels like every egg wasted now I'm 40 is a big deal 😞

@glowingtwig sorry to hear things are still tough. Has the GP recommended any treatment to help?

Also fingers crossed! Sperm waiting for the egg is better than those coming along late to the party!!

Thanks @Ralala she said that any anxiety medication wouldn't be a good idea with ttc and I'm very funny about what I put in my body when trying to get pregnant.

I do have a counselling session Saturday so maybe that will help.

@glowingtwig I’m so sorry to hear you’re suffering so much. I think PTSD manifests in many forms. I work right by the hospital I went to, I take the same drive every morning and as soon as I see the hospital lights in the dark mornings it triggers my memory of driving to the hospital the night we miscarried. I only wish I can replace that with a positive memory some day! I really do hope that you start to feel better soon with time.

Ohhh well. I made the absolute mistake of taking a test today and it was negative. AF is due Sunday, so you never know. But I just realised how much focus I put into trying again as a way of distracting me from our loss. I know I’ll be devastated it this isn’t our month. I too wonder if we DTD enough and we put so much pressure on ourselves! But I’m taking a note from the ladies in this thread and being positive!! Or at least trying to :) we shouldn’t put so much pressure on ourselves. We can’t control our bodies sadly, but I appreciate that what we say and how we feel are MASSIVELY different! Sending you lots of love and hope that this is your month!!! Xxx

@glowingtwig I am the same with probable PTSD on watchful waiting and have some counselling sessions from my work set up.

My sleep was horrific due to flash backs, mind racing etc either numbness in emotions or crying no middle ground.

Some things which have been helping me slowly have been listening to yoga nidra sessions on the Alexa especially in the lead up towards bed (it's very hippy but does help). I am now keeping myself in a routine (even though I have been signed off work), aiming to cook one dish I want to (cooking is my relaxation) and trying to go for a walk each day.

I would say that things started to feel like they were heading in the right direction after speaking things through with the Dr and counsellor. I no longer felt as if I was just having an over reaction to it or being dramatic about it (that sounds silly on this board but in rl felt that I should just get on with things). It does feel like a slow process but actually if I compare this week to last week I have had small improvements. Give yourself time and don't put pressure on yourself, hopefully in a few weeks you will also start to see small improvements

Hey all, booked to have a D&C tomorrow and feeling very nervous. It will be under LA so will be awake. Anyone else had this and what does it feel like? Painful?

I feel sick with the thought of it

Thanks

@Jam291 FRER is about £7 for 2, I posted a link yesterday for them on amazon. Not cheap but not ridiculous. I'm using cheap sensitive strips which are very sensitive and only using a FRER once a week

@Summersun001 got everything crossed. Youre still 5 days ahead of period which is a long time so very good shot still! I know the feeling though, as much as I've been relieved to start bleeding and having a period, I can't help feeling sad we didn't fall pregnant. Throwing my all at it this cycle!

@glowingtwig honestly what we've all been though is so traumatic I'm not at all surprised with that diagnosis. Glad you're on the right path to getting the support you need

Hi @wag1987 I'm really sorry to hear this. Is it a MVA your having? Or ERPC? I had the MVA under local. It can be very painful so if that's what you are having make sure you have painkillers 2 hours before and you ask for gas and air during. With the right pain relief you'll be okay!

@AMS19 what does MVA and ERPC stand for?

X

@wag1987

It's a type of surgery. I suspect given yours is local it's MVA. Have a read of this leaflet

www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/Management-of-Miscarriage-Oct-2020.pdf

Thanks @Summersun001 so many triggers aren't there, it's awful. I feel it when I walk in to our laundry room because that's where I was on the floor with the paramedics.

I'm sorry @Scottishskifun it's so awful. Never had a panic attack in my life til now. The feeling that comes over me at night as I'm waking up is utterly horrifying... in my brain, throat, chest... it's like a feeling of deep dread and an awful burning feeling around my heart. Then random twitching, the most appalling brain fog. I can barely make a bowl of cereal in the morning.

Glad to hear you've been signed off work. Small steps is definitely the way to go. I'm back now but teaching online- 5 lessons today so was really intense but at least it's a distraction. Thank you for the tips... I'll look up the yoga thing. I need to get better at a decent routine at night rather than the mindless scrolling. Walking each day will definitely help- I'm doing this too.
I think I won't feel totally better until there is a baby in my tummy that I can feel moving around. Hopefully it's in my future.

Thanks @AMS19 I didn't feel anywhere near like this with the mc in August. It's just sideswiped me completely.

@wag1987 I'm so sorry you're feeling like this I've not had that done but lots of ladies on here have and will be able to reassure you. X

@glowingtwig I was the same and unable to sleep.
I now don't use my phone at all an hour + before bed and keep it downstairs. I change the lighting so use lamps and low lights as well. Then either have a bath or read for 30 minutes before getting into bed. I get the Alexa to play yoga nidra session in the dark and do it in bed. It's weird to describe you basically lie still for 30 mins and visualise/concentrate on breathing but it is helping. You can do it any time of day so I have also been using it during the day if having a bad day.

@glowingtwig I'm the same as yourself, I'm 40 was told I'd never conceive and first pregnancy test at 40 was positive unfortunately lost it at 8 weeks. Now I think about all them years in my 30's trying and tracking everything. I stopped it all when I was 35 and just accepted it was never going to happen. I hope it happens again for you soon. I'm 99.9% positive I'm ovulating now and I DTD yesterday after literally about 2 months, part of me wants to go again today but another part of me just wants to relax and not think about it and carry on like we have been. Now I know I can get pregnant, I really dont want to miss the chance. Hope your doing well xx