Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC - Thread 2. ALL welcome!

[AMS19]

Hi ladies

This thread is open for EVERYONE. To discuss the highs, lows, emotions, and experiences of us all going through our miscarriage journey. Together we will get through this!

Previous thread:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/miscarriage/4119053-Support-thread-for-those-experiencing-or-recently-experienced-a-MC-MMC?pg=1

To my incredible strong warriors...I cannot believe we filled a thread! We've got this ladies ❤
@DMT1982
@Scottishskifun
@glowingtwig
@mia2201
@Redfoxinthesnow
@Seasalt1984
@laurat94
@tamsin424
@cocoloco88
@SuzieDeLaTour
@Cordial11
@seasalt1984
@thehotelcalifornia
@TheDaydreamBelievers
@Pettylamby
@Lililou
@Enola41
@CocoLoco88
@Nicolamac1
@Sleeeeeepy
@Mellous
@Nicolamac1
@Semla
@Seasidestarfruit
@mummydoingamasters
@elm7
@MrsD1992
@CookieMonster3001
@Dryshampoo32

Sincere apologies for missing anyone xx

@Sherryxxxx what you say about worrying about you body changing going through pregnancy really resonates with me as well. I was worried my entire shape would change as I have wide hips and that my tummy would never go back to how it was but everything was actually fine after I had my little boy and I went back to the shape I was before. I think if you stay as active as you can and stick to healthy eating (first 12 weeks go out the window as you just want beige stuff!) but after that you can make healthy choices then you will be fine. You still have a lot going on inside your body and my tummy was bloated for a while after the miscarriage. It’s hard to get back on the healthy eating and exercise wagon and I have lost my mojo for exercise at the mo but small steps and you can’t achieve everything all at one. Try to change one thing at a time so if that means changing some eating habits then start on that and don’t worry about exercise at the mo. I think it’s takes around 30 days to you to form a habit ie if you always have wine then after 30 days of not having it everyday it will come as second nature maybe having tonic or something instead. I use a 20/80 approach so 80% of the time I try to be mindful of what I’m eating and 20% of the time I have what I want.

That goes the same for exercise if you decide that’s what you want to implement into your routine. Don’t set yourself unrealistic goals maybe just to exercise a couple of days a week 20 mins plus then see how you get on over the course of a few weeks and maybe up it. My husband and I use a fine system so if we both do not achieve 2 x 20 min HIT workouts per week or I go running so that also counts then we pay £5 into a pot each. The pot currently has around £70 I think shortly going to be £80 as we have done nothing this weekend either but it was an incentive pre miscarriage so we will get back into it.

Just take small steps and don’t put too much pressure on yourself xxx

@AMS19 I find keeping things like that from the husbands allows them not to worry about a months supply of mini bottles of wine arriving in the weekly shop. Also doesn’t give them chance to change the order!! Xx

@SuzieDeLaTour I caved and did it today. Not negative but a real squinter on the FRER! Hopefully another week max 🤞 yeah a set programme is definitely good

@Jam291 you definitely can ovulate sooner but it depends how long it takes for the hcg levels to drop below 5. I think my levels are probably around 5-15 based off the pregnancy test I'm getting positives and negatives on with their different sensitivities, so suspect even though im 4 weeks post mva I won't have yet ovulated. But obviously can't be sure

@Enola41 not a burpee in sight made me laugh. Awful aren't they. On that note, I attached a funny meme that made me laugh!

@DMT1982 I think he is letting me do my thing. I havent been drinking at all but we have expensive steak from the butchers coming so plan to have it medium rare and drink a lot of red wine!
Oh I didn't realise you had a little boy ❤ how old is he? Do you have any others?

@Jam291 I think my gynae said it’s normally 3 consecutive miscarriages but he was of the opinion that 3 should be investigated regardless of whether you had a child in between so as a rule of thumb I think it has to be 3 in a row but might depend on which doctor you get! I would definitely push for it x
@AMS19 oh that’s good news it’s a squinter!! Yay!! Not far off now at all 🙌🏻🙌🏻 I also tested and my HCG strip was far lighter than a few days back. Feel like I’m making some progress 💃

@AMS19 burpees are the work of the devil lol!! I literally cannot walk up the stairs or get off the loo after doing too many of them!!

Yes I have a little boy who 2 years and 4 months old. I thought I posted that somewhere at the beginning but maybe I didn’t with everything that was going on.

Yes you have to have red wine with posh steak, I’m very jealous that sounds like a taste sensation steak and wine, enjoy every mouthful and slurp of your wine.

I’ve still not tested yet and am actually scared to as not sure how I’ll react seeing a positive so will just wait for my period which for both of us should be in the next couple of weeks as they said 4-6 weeks didn’t they? Xx

@SuzieDeLaTour that's great news! It's so satisfying watching it come down isn't it. I think I'm going to he as excited for a negative as I was my positive! Desperate to draw a line under it and move on knowing there is nothing left.

@DMT1982 oh maybe I totally missed that, apologies!! Thats great though because then you know you can have babies and this is just a blip.
Don't worry I'm definitely drinking all the wine tonight. I've been so good and I'm over it now. Need a weekend off from tracking protein intake and eating healthy food.
There is absolutely no need to take a test, as you say just wait for your period. I'm really hoping another 2 weeks! Once my FRER goes negative I'm going to assume 2 weeks from that point?

@Tealchoc thank you. Yes horrible situation and sorry to hear about your loss too.

Can I ask a question? Do you know for sure when you miscarry? Only asking because I've been bleeding for over a week and only had one heavy bleed Wednesday just gone. How do I know if there is more to come or if I have miscarried already?

Hey ladies and welcome to all our new ladies. So sorry to see you here but you’re in the best place and we are all here to support you.

I’m now 18 days post ERPC and caved and took an IC this morning and then a FRER. The IC was negative so I thought I’d take the FRER but it came back with a vvvv faint line. A squinter but def there. I was told to test 3 weeks after so Tuesday but I honestly thought it would be negative as I feel completely normal now and haven’t bled in over 2 weeks. Hey ho. I broke down a little afterwards, not even sure why, and told my DH he’d upset me as it was a massive deal to me and he was just on his phone as I was doing it ☹ He was mortified and was super apologetic and I said it was okay and I wasn’t even sure why I was crying. We’re fine now but we never ever fall out so it just upset me a bit! Anyway. Just goes to show that sometimes the feelings and emotions can just come from nowhere can’t they. I’m okay now and have had a lovely day relaxing watching YouTube and just taking some time to myself. We had some zoom drinks with friends last night which was really lovely and felt like a bit of normality. Going to get a takeaway tonight as a treat and watch a movie, then have a nice walk tomorrow to get some fresh air. I’m going to order some more FRER and hoping they are negative Tuesday. Did I read somewhere that you can potentially still ovulate even if a FRER shows a squinter as they’re so sensitive? So desperate to ovulate! I’m also feeling ready to tackle a fresh cycle of TTC so will be downloading my apps and getting my thermometer ready. Also stocked up on OPKs.

What’s everyone else upto tonight?

To the ladies discussing exercise; I really recommend HIIT sessions on YouTube. I don’t like working out but these have changed my mindset completely! Particularly EMKFIT – she is just fab and does really fun 20-25 min workouts to songs. I did a greatest showman one, and ‘songs from her Walkman’ one this week! Worked out Mon, Weds and Fri in the morning before work this week and I’m so proud of myself! It doesn’t feel like working out and you don’t need to have existing ability so I really recommend them. Feels really good to be back exercising and just feeling better about myself.

@TheHotelCalifornia sorry you had an emotions attack - I get them too and they definitely come out of nowhere. Yes, you can totally ovulate with HCG still in the system at the level of a faint FRER positive. Well done you on routine exercise :D! Im hoping to follow your lead after a nice hike and some strength exercise today

@wag1987 from reading on here it sounds like it can vary quite a bit. For me it was obvious as I could see that I had passed pregnancy tissue and the bleeding and cramping got better after that. I was told to do a pregnancy test in two weeks.
Are you going to have a scan? At least that will be able to confirm if your miscarriage has finished. Its awful not knowing if that is the end of it or if things will start up again so I really feel for you xx

[quote TheDaydreamBelievers]@TheHotelCalifornia sorry you had an emotions attack - I get them too and they definitely come out of nowhere. Yes, you can totally ovulate with HCG still in the system at the level of a faint FRER positive. Well done you on routine exercise :D! Im hoping to follow your lead after a nice hike and some strength exercise today[/quote]
@TheDaydreamBelievers thank you lovely

@Tealchoc yes due to have a scan on Monday so hoping that will clear it up for me? I haven't had heavy cramps so assuming I haven't miscarried yet but some people don't have heavy cramping. I kind of want the D&C if not miscarried as the waiting is what stressing me out. Have you got other children or was this your first? X

@wag1987 That’s good you have your scan on Monday. I completely understand about you wanting a d&c but fingers crossed it has already happened for you.
I have two children x

@Tealchoc yes fingers crossed.. aw nice. Hard for them when your going through this. I have 1 child x

@TheHotelCalifornia better today! was doing lot of crying over the last week or so. Probably along related to AF hormones, but that's through now. So just looking towards hopefully soon ovulation (currently CD 8)

@TheHotelCalifornia oh I'm so sorry today was a rubbish day! My FRER was also a squinter and I'm a month tomorrow post MVA so, although frustrating, sounds like you're progressing really well! I'm testing again Thursday and hoping for a negative, will keep my fingers crossed for both of us. I definitely have bad days too, we will get through this though

@thedaydreambelievers hope you've had a better few days. Got everything crossed for a nice early ovulation

I'm about to cook on a hot plate a bone in River, crack open a bottle of red, and try to forget about everyone period and ovulation related!

Hi, I’m new to all this but have found this thread very helpful.
1st cycle TTC post coil out in November. BFP 1 day after AF due. Then at 5+2 had bleeding with no pain, which has continued but lighter.
Had a very sensible chat with the GP and decided to repeat test in 10 days and maybe avoid a scan if goes negative, and they will refer if still positive.
Just finding it all very hard esp as DH works at a maternity hospital and is devastated.

@AMS19 with any luck it’s just a blip but i was 3 years younger when I conceived before so age is against me plus whatever else I have going on inside. Hoping to get a response from Benenden Health Care on Monday as they said 3 working days for a decision if they see me or not.

I hope we all get our periods soon because at least then we know where we are at and that everything is working as it should be following any interventions.

Enjoy your evening of wine and steak. I’m still hungry after my dinner so my appetite is definitely improving.

I like the idea of one of these exercise classes to music that one of the ladies recommended on here to ease me back into exercise. I’ve agreed to go for a 5k run next Saturday morning with a girl from my running group so that will be interesting having done nothing for so long!

I’m annoyed I used all my FRERs as they are not cheap and I could have just kept using the cheap ones but I liked to use a decent one once a week just to be sure xxx

@TheHotelCalifornia I am almost 5 weeks post surgical management and I'm pretty sure I ovulated based on my opks since the procedure and quite a bit of ewcm! Also still getting squinters on FRERs!! Hopefully you won't be far behind me!

I think I'm due my period in the next few says and usually I get really angry PMS but yesterday I burst into to tears for no apparent reason so I understand how uou feel!

@DMT1982 well done on signing up up the 5k! That's great news. Got everything crossed for you for the health care. Would be great to get that ball rolling. I'm also limting myself to one FRER a week. The cheapies have given me a good indication on what is going on.

@Pettylamby wow look at that peak! That's so interesting you got that even with a squinter on a test still. I havent been OPk tracking at all but might start now just out of curiosity more than anything. Have you tried this cycle?

@AMS19 I know I was quite surprised when I started getting ewcm and then the peak! No we didn't try this month, I wanted to have a period and start fresh, I was worried if I did fall this cycle I would be extra anxious and if something went wrong again I would blame myself for not having a period! Hoping February is the month and it happens quickly but maybe just wishful thinking! 🤷🏼‍♀️

@DMT1982
Thank you for the info and glad to speak to somebody who can relate :)
I used to be at the gym nearly every day, but weight is something I've always had problems with both mentally and physically. And knowing the gym isn't there is difficult. But I don't know if I'd have gone right now, motivation is completely put the window. I will take your comments and make use of them, I do put too much pressure on myself and make unrealistic expectations, this is probably why I end up doing none of it. The most I have is the dog to take for a walk. I will try to take small steps and build up. Thank you :) xx

@Pettylamby well looking at how well your body has done this month I reckon you're in for a great shot next cycle!! I really didn't want to track this cycle but think I might start, purely because I'm getting fed up of the positives tests and if I still ovulate I'll feel much better about them...I think I'll leave the thermometer though and use that next cycle!

@AMS19 thank you, I will have a look into this, it sounds great and just what we need here :) I've not really heard of any at home classes and ways worried I can't find motivation in the home. I've never had the confidence to jog outdoors either. But of I can change my thinking about exercising in the home and set up some sort of reward for it afterwards, that would be a good motivation. I do have an exercise bike here in my living room which was going to be my go to whilst the gym was closed and covid, but I've been on it twice 🙃 I need to set an alarm, vet up on a morning and make it my routine 💪 I'm going to do this
😁
.

@AMS19 I told myself I wasn't going to track since we weren't trying but I felt like I took a bit of control back when I did track I could at least work out when my period should be due, also I only have a 11 day luteal phase and usually spot before that so wanted to see if the MC made a difference!

I found shifting my focus from positive tests to Opks really helped me so maybe worth a try! I've never temped as I work shifts so its out of the question but usually can see a trend in my RHR so I kinda follow that instead! 😊