Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC - Thread 2. ALL welcome!

[AMS19]

Hi ladies

This thread is open for EVERYONE. To discuss the highs, lows, emotions, and experiences of us all going through our miscarriage journey. Together we will get through this!

Previous thread:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/miscarriage/4119053-Support-thread-for-those-experiencing-or-recently-experienced-a-MC-MMC?pg=1

To my incredible strong warriors...I cannot believe we filled a thread! We've got this ladies ❤
@DMT1982
@Scottishskifun
@glowingtwig
@mia2201
@Redfoxinthesnow
@Seasalt1984
@laurat94
@tamsin424
@cocoloco88
@SuzieDeLaTour
@Cordial11
@seasalt1984
@thehotelcalifornia
@TheDaydreamBelievers
@Pettylamby
@Lililou
@Enola41
@CocoLoco88
@Nicolamac1
@Sleeeeeepy
@Mellous
@Nicolamac1
@Semla
@Seasidestarfruit
@mummydoingamasters
@elm7
@MrsD1992
@CookieMonster3001
@Dryshampoo32

Sincere apologies for missing anyone xx

@MysteryB23 sorry to have to welcome you this group and giving you a big virtual hug

I had the same experience as you at 5.5 weeks with my first miscarriage (please don’t think that just because you’ve had one you’ll have another as I think i have underlying things that maybe causing them)

I bled for a day tops and it was super light and the GP also said the same to me but think from memory she said re test in 7 days which I did and was negative. I ended up at EPU in the end anyways as I was having stabbing pains however they didn’t scan me and were happy I wasn’t having an ectopic and that I had miscarried naturally.

It’s going to be a long 10 days for you and even more so that your husband works on a maternity ward. I couldn’t wait 7 days and I think I tested after about 4 and it was negative already. Obviously if you have any bad pains or loads of bleeding then seek further advice but hoping you’ll be ok.

Try to hold on to the fact you fell pregnant straight away and also bare in mind you are very fertile after a miscarriage and ovulate earlier according to a gynaecologist I have seen.

We are all here to support each other so if need to chat then post away. Xxx

@TheHotelCalifornia aww I’m sorry you’ve had a rubbish day. I think having a good cry and moan really helps so I’m glad your DH was super supportive 👍🏻 Sounds like you managed to have a lovely rest of the day and enjoy that yummy takeaway tonight. I’m treating myself too...after I banged on about wanting to get in better shape ha! Oh well, sometimes these things have just got to be done! I read somewhere you can ovulate once your HCG levels fall below 500 but I’ve no idea if that’s right!? I do know i conceived really quickly after my last MMC and can imagine I still had levels of HCG in my system.
Weirdly...and I’ve no idea what’s going on...I tested with an OPK this evening and it’s come up positive, much more prominent than the positive line on my hcg strip! I don’t know if that’s because they’re ultra sensitive and it’s just picking up my pregnancy levels (I know they also show up positive when pregnant) but I feel sooo hormonal - sore breasts, EWCM, spotty. Now I’m so confused!! 🙄🤦‍♀️

@MysteryB23 welcome to this thread, although I’m sorry you’ve had to join 😰 that must be incredibly tough with your DH working at a maternity hospital. Do take comfort from the fact you conceived so quickly and like @DMT1982 said you’re very fertile after a miscarriage. We are all here for you x

@SuzieDeLaTour and @DMT1982 thank you both for your messages and kind words. After posting I deleted my account but then changed my mind again (hence the slight name change)!! I think your messages have made me feel understood for the first time this week.
I was so pleased about the positive but had this feeling it was all too good to be true. It feels awful to say but there is comfort in being amongst others who have been through/going through the same. X

In the true spirit of being real and raw on here...tonight I've cried. I totally broke down and sobbed for at least an hour. I've been so strong but today I havent. I drunk wine and just cried an cried. I'm broken. I'll never be the same. But maybe thats okay. This is the first time I've cried and I've totally broke. Xx

@AMS19 I was the same didnt cry at all continued to work through it all and then Thursday night it hit me like a tone of bricks and came out of no where. It's good to let it all out, I'm back to myself today but I'm aware I'll have good and bad days and I accept that and hopefully things will get back to normal xx

@AMS19 awww love! I think it’s good you’ve had a good cry, sometimes you need to just let it all out. You’re going to have good and bad days and you’ve been so strong supporting so many other women on here. This is such a rollercoaster journey for all of us but you’ve got this - there are better times ahead xx

@ams19 Oh bless you. Strength shows itself in many different ways and crying is one if them. It's all part of getting through what's happened to us and healing. We're all with you. Sending love and hugs xxx

Thanks @Neady1980 @SuzieDeLaTour @Seasalt1984 I cried for 3 hours. I couldn't stop. I've held it inside convincing myself I'm fine but I'm not. I'm heartbroken, angry, confused and upset. So I just cried and cried. My husband was in shock as it came from nowhere. I just feel totally devastated and pissed off this had to happen. Why me, why couldn't I just get pregnant and be happy. Will I ever be a mum?

I'm putting this all on here so you can see even those who appear okay are going going through the same battles ❤

@AMS19 your 100% right, I was the same with my emotions,wondering will I ever get the chance again, thinking what I did wrong and why after all these years I get pregnant for it all to be taken away from me after a couple of weeks.
It really is a rollercoaster of a ride, just take each day as it comes good or bad. Hope your feeling better xx

@AMS19 you were meant to have the wine last night and you needed to cry. Wine always does that to me if I am hiding emotions or bottling something up.

We kid ourselves into thinking we don’t need to cry and can ride the storm without showing any emotions but that’s not real life and if you hadn’t of cried last night it would have happened at some stage again when you least expected it.

You’ll feel drained today, emotionally and physically as crying actually takes it out of you but you will feel better for it in the long run. You’re young, you fell pregnant, you will get pregnant again, you’re not infertile, you will have a healthy pregnancy just remember that and don’t give up hope. Big hugs xxxx

@AMS19 maybe today get out for some fresh air and a little walk with the hubby. That’ll clear your wine head but also help you both as well. Walk along hand in hand, take a hot drink and just be together and remember everything will be ok xxxx

Thanks so much @DMT1982 you're totally right and was definitely needed. I think I cried for about 3 hours, once I started I couldn't stop. It's 6 weeks tomorrow since I found out about the mmc and the first time I've cried. But was good my husband and I having a long chat about it all, my fears, how I felt about losing the baby, all of it.

A walk sounds like a good plan. Right now I'm battling with the hangover from hell 😂🤢🤕 red wine gives the worst headaches! I'll be back to not drinking again now until my period comes, but it was nice having a night off from the healthy diet and being good and letting my hair down

I really hope you're right about getting pregnant and staying pregnant next time. My head goes to some dark place often and I convince myself it just won't happen for us which is terrifying! But I need to try and change my mindset to focus on thinking it will happen and it was just bad luck! Xxx

@MysteryB33 sorry I was having a bad night and missed your message. The waiting in some respects can be harder than the actually miscarriage. The unknown of what might happen and when. It's such a hard thing to go through and I'm so sorry this has happened to you. But we all completely understand how you feel. Dont forget at least 25% of those ladies given birth on that maternity unit will have also had a miscarriage! 1 in 4. So I understand how tough that is for both of you but worth remembering how common this is xx

@SuzieDeLaTour the OPks are confusing the hell out of me too! I accidentally took one 9 days ago that was pretty dark, much much darker than my HCG strips. Hadnt tested since then decided @Pettylamby was right and having some form of knowledge would be helpful so tested yesterday. It was lighter than the one 9 days ago, but not stark white (which mine always were when I wasn't surging). Much darker than hcg strips though. Very odd! I know they pick up hcg but didn't think they would be so much darker than the hcg strips?! I'll keep testing once a day and see what they do xx

@AMS19 yes red wine is lush at the time but OMG the worst skull ache the next day especially after not drinking much for so long you are bound to feel even worse than normal. You definitely needed a day off though and even though your current wine haze isn’t a welcomed one once it lifts and you get some fresh air you’ll feel so better.

It’s natural to cry and have wobbles, worrying will we fall pregnant again, will it be ok, what did u do wrong for this to happen to me and lots of other things. I remember something you wrote maybe on the first thread about losing a baby and while we will never forget that baby, once we get to hold our baby we will know that it was meant to be that way. You put it much better however it did stay with me and something I remember when I’m starting to questions things.

Xxxx

@MysteryB33 we all understand what you’re going through and this is why this thread is so comforting because everyone on here has lost a baby and regardless of what stage you lose your baby, a loss is a loss and you will grieve for that baby and for what could have been.

We are all at different stages or recovery and also when you think you’re getting on ok it hits you again so you won’t feel better overnight but you will get there and it does get easier.

If you want some positive stories on falling pregnant following a miscarriage I’ll try and find the link as this was the original thread and was full of lovely positive stories from ladies who had been through the trauma of miscarriage but fallen pregnant had had successfully pregnancies. I’ll try and find it for you xxx

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/pregnancy/4113076-Positive-stories-after-a-MMC?msgid=103071257

Negative on a first response today! (3 weeks post surgery tomorrow). Finally feel able to move on.

@AMS19 sounds like you needed a good cry, it’s probably built up over the last month. I also had a little cry last night. I hope you’re feeling better today x

@Mellous that’s great news you’ve got a negative test xxx

@Mellous amazing news on the FRER!! Yes today is Day 1 for you ❤❤

Thank you ladies. @AMS19 sounds like you’re pretty close to getting yours now?

@Mellous close but I reckon still a week or so away based on the change in the 6 days. I'll test again Thursday I think and pray it is negative. I just can't imagine it being negative, I've never seen a negative FRER so my mind can't process it 😂

@Mellous oh yay!! It must be nice to now start afresh ❤️ I foolishly made the mistake of testing with a FRER (two weeks post op) and it was very clearly negative. No squinter for me - even those with bad eyesight would have spotted a positive! 😩 not sure why I tested given my HCG strips are still showing positive...🤦‍♀️
@AMS19 hope the red wine head is slowly clearing...!! Urgh I haven’t had a hangover for a while and I don’t miss them...why do they tend to last about 3 days when you hit your 30s!? X

Sorry that was meant to read very clearly a positive! Wishful thinking typing “negative” ha!

@SuzieDeLaTour honestly I'm sure the day after I turned 30 I became allergic to alcohol! I'm suffering big time. Definitely back to the no drinking rule and healthy eating Monday, this weekend has been a total write off xx