Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC - Thread 2. ALL welcome!

[AMS19]

Hi ladies

This thread is open for EVERYONE. To discuss the highs, lows, emotions, and experiences of us all going through our miscarriage journey. Together we will get through this!

Previous thread:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/miscarriage/4119053-Support-thread-for-those-experiencing-or-recently-experienced-a-MC-MMC?pg=1

To my incredible strong warriors...I cannot believe we filled a thread! We've got this ladies ❤
@DMT1982
@Scottishskifun
@glowingtwig
@mia2201
@Redfoxinthesnow
@Seasalt1984
@laurat94
@tamsin424
@cocoloco88
@SuzieDeLaTour
@Cordial11
@seasalt1984
@thehotelcalifornia
@TheDaydreamBelievers
@Pettylamby
@Lililou
@Enola41
@CocoLoco88
@Nicolamac1
@Sleeeeeepy
@Mellous
@Nicolamac1
@Semla
@Seasidestarfruit
@mummydoingamasters
@elm7
@MrsD1992
@CookieMonster3001
@Dryshampoo32

Sincere apologies for missing anyone xx

@DMT1982 I haven't heard of that book but I'll definitely look into it,I've had 12 surgeries due to the endometriosis and ovarian cysts but I actually think I conceived because I changed my diet and lost some weight and stopped all the hormone treatment they had me on as I thought I was pre-menopausal.
I hope you get some answers, theres nothing worse than not knowing. I think I'm going to start trying again and try not get to hung up on it x

@SuzieDeLaTour oh I did have a couple of bottles of wine 😁😁 myself and my mam sat up most of the night talking. I'm delighted you had a successful pregnancy, gives me some hope. I dont think I'm going to wait till my next AF just going to continue on the way we have been and hope for the best . Either way I'll be nervous and if i do conceive again I know I'll be up the walls thinking the same thing will happen but if I dont try I think I'll live to regret it x

@SuzieDeLaTour that’s a lovely way for your consultant to explain things as you do think of the cliff example when you get older. Xxx

@Neady1980 that’s really interesting what you’ve said about the weight loss and coming off the hormones. There is a lot in the book about diet but also different hormones and supplements. The lady who has written the book is a fertility expert from America but will all relevant to any any woman really. Also I think it’s was @mia2201 who recommended Natalie Crawford As a Woman podcast as it’s really empowering and she is also a fertility expert from the states xxx

Hi Ladies, I came across this thread last night and whilst it’s heartbreaking to see you all experiencing loss it made me feel less lonely.
I started spotting on Saturday, phoned epu who said to wait a week and test and if still positive then come in for a scan but otherwise get on with it yourself if it worsens. It turned into bleeding and cramping and yesterday evening I lost what I thought was a sac and small placenta (I was 6 weeks) the pain is a lot better now though still bleeding. Just wondered what I can expect now re pain and bleeding and have read you are doing pregnancy tests to assess if hcg has gone down, which kind of test is best for this? Just feel very alone, the nurse at epu was not very sympathetic or did not give me any advice etc. Thank you xx

@DMT1982 Thank you, it sounds pretty normal then? and I don’t feel poorly or anything, I thought I’d got away with bleeding as it didn’t start until almost a week later!

I will just keep an eye on it!

I hope everyone is okay xxx

@Neady1980 glad you enjoyed the vino!! 👌🏻 That’s so lovely that you sat up with your mum and talked, that support is invaluable at times like this. It’s funny you mentioned weight loss too - I was about 1 1/2 stone heavier than I was a couple of years ago and in September / October I lost about 10/11lbs and conceived in early November after trying for 8 months. My periods were fairly regular and I was never overweight as such (just bigger than I was used to being) but I do wonder if somehow it made a difference or was entirely coincidental. I think this whole TTC makes me overthink things!! 😄
@DMT1982 yes it was quite reassuring to hear!! And a few people I know have conceived around 40/ early 40s recently x

@DMT1982 I started putting on weight and literally did nothing in first lockdown, I was disgusted with myself, my diet has never really been great if I'm honest. My OH is a personal trainer so decided to train with him and everyone in the house changed our eating habits and got a little bit more active. Now I only lost 10lbs when I found out I was pregnant and only 7 weeks since I stopped all hormone treatment. I decided to get healthier for my own sake. The first thing the Gynae asked when I found out I was pregnant was did I loose weight, in fairness he was as shocked as I was xx

@Tealchoc aww I’m so sorry to hear you’re going through this and what a shame you haven’t had a good experience with your EPU. A compassionate helpful nurse can really make all the difference at times like this. I went down the surgical management route so I’m not sure how long the bleeding takes with a natural miscarriage. I was told that my bleeding should stop by 10 days but if I’m still properly bleeding after two weeks to call the EPU. My bleeding off after about 9 days or so, although I’m still getting sharp cramps sporadically (they only last a few seconds). I was 10+2 when I found out and the baby was measuring 8+4. I know quite a few other ladies on here have gone through the same experience as you so they should be able to shed more light but I wouldn’t hesitate to call your EPU if you have any questions. That’s what they are there for and hopefully you’ll get a different nurse!! Xx

@SuzieDeLaTour I only lost 10lbs when I conceived, I definitely think diet contributes to getting pregnant, it's my only explanation.

I am blessed with my parents,they have been amazing and we would never drink during the week but last night I just felt like I needed it so my Mam joined me 😀 x

Thank you @SuzieDeLaTour, I really appreciate your reply. That’s a good point about hopefully getting another nurse if I phone them again! X

@Tealchoc Sorry for your loss I had a miscarriage last Friday, I only spotted for 5 days and just had mild back ache, bleeding has completely stopped now. I was 8 weeks, the midwife told me that everyone is different but said to be prepared to bleed for up to 2 weeks.I got a scan done Monday in the EPU and was told that there was no build up of blood so I suppose I was lucky in a way. Hope your doing ok xx

Thank you @Neady1980, I’m sorry about your mc. I guess it makes sense everyone is deferent but two weeks is good to know thank you. I think I’m still in a bit of shock! X

@Tealchoc I’m so sorry to hear about your story and the EPU. It honestly makes all the difference if they were a bit kinder to you.
I know they can’t scan everyone for every bit of pain or spotting but still.
I would ring back and say the bleeding is heavier and you feel the need to be seen, or try your GP online enconsult helped me.

I think a pregnancy test will show positive for a while, bleeding wise, I passed it all at home, it was rough, at 6 / 7 weeks but ok. Now It’s like a period, tailing off almost.
Thinking off you, this page is amazing for support💞💞

It is a shock, I went to emergency room on friday due to spotting and back ache, they scanned and everything was there but said I could be starting to miscarriage or ectopic. Went to EPU on Monday and they couldn't see anything on an internal scan so they still told me could be ectopic and had to get bloods done to check HCG levels, but they have dropped so they said I had already miscarried. It is a shock when you hear it xx

@Tealchoc I had surgery but when reading about my options, the info on Tommy's etc about natural misscarriage say bleeds can last up to 3 weeks, should go down not up so contact EPU if it increases, and contact EPU ir A and E out of hours if you ever go through a pad in under 30 mins.

In terms of pregnancy tests - generally the more weeks you were before MC, the longer it takes to go negative. Some ladies on this thread have had negatives in a week, some more like 8 weeks.i would guess at a couple or 3 weeks for you. In terms of tests, I'd recommend testing once a week and always use the same test (as then you can compare them to see that they are dropping)

Hi all,
Sorry I've not responded to comments yesterday but I did read them and they did give me comfort so thank you so much. Yesterday was a bad say, hubby had to go to work and my 14 year old has been in absolute bits. I didn't want to sleep without little one in my tummy so I decided to go for a walk at 11pm. I was walking with the hubby and the dog down our usual track and I broke. I dont think I was ready, the track we walk down everyday the last time I was there I was pregnant, always had visions of the child running up and down the hills, I used to vision me with the pram and I was so excited. I felt stabs in my heart 😢 I didn't think it was fair that I was still here walking and sleeping without him, I felt like I was betraying him. We say him because we felt he was a boy.
For the ladies who ask if I have support, I have my hubby and my 14 year old, I don't have my own family, I was brought up in care but I do have my hubby's family who are supportive ❤ I hope all you ladies are doing ok? I'm going out today to buy a plant for my daughter, she wants it in her room as a rememberance plant. She doesn't want to forget and nor do I 😞

@Fayezp1210 yes it does if you haven’t got any pain. They said to me can take 12-14 days for it all to calm down and I suppose you would rather it come out than stay inside you. Obviously if you feel unwell, have a temperature, have any pains or clots the size of your palm I think the nurse said then you’ll need to be seen again. Xx

@Sherryxxxx sending you a massive hug. You’re grieving and everything you’re feeling is completely normal. Everyone grieves in different ways, there is no right or wrong way and it hits us like a bus when we least expect it.

I know what you mean about thinking ‘last time we were here we were pregnant’ and then having visualised what life would be like it’s so cruel when it’s taken away from us.

I think a plant for your daughter is a lovely idea as shows your daughter that baby won’t be forgotten.

Keep doing as you are doing and when grief comes over you in waves that’s your bodies way of healing xxx

@DMT1982 Thank you, I will just keep an eye out, the sooner it stops the better!

I think I will feel even better once it stops, it’s just like a constant reminder isn’t it! 💕

I think everyone is different with bleeding just keep an eye on it.

I have had my telephone assessment for counselling it was very very tough but I should get 6 sessions. The lady was really nice and said she wanted to give me a hug.

I'm trying to work on myself have had a walk with my friend, booked an outdoor session for Saturday (we have a charity doing 1-2-1 sessions). It's my sons birthday this weekend so trying my hardest to be positive for him (he's a toddler so doesn't really understand its his birthday!).

I need to have a walk with my friend but have been putting it off as she is pregnant and was 2 weeks ahead of me. As much as I want our sons to play together it's a little bit too tough at the moment

@Fayezp1210 I had brown spotting that would fill a sanitary towel a few times a day for over 2 weeks I would say. I’ve also had weird UTI type cramps lots over the last week or so but they appear to have gone now. Sure it’s just everything healing inside xx

Big hugs to everyone.

I’m desperate to test. Why I don’t know! My hcg was about 150 or something last Friday and I read it can drop by half every 48 hours. I was 8 weeks but only just over a week post MC...... desperate to see a bfn

@DMT1982 It’s sort of like dark red and the majority of it comes out when I go to the toilet (I’m sorry if that’s too much info) but no pain and no clots so I’ll take that as a positive.

I’m glad that your cramps have gone! They are miserable little buggers aren’t they! Xx

@Scottishskifun Absolutely understandable that your putting off the Friend walk, especially if your still feeling raw

I hope you find the counselling works well for you! I’ve had counselling for something unrelated in the past and I benefited from it.

Aww I hope your Son has a Wonderful birthday! Hopefully the celebrations for him will be a little distraction for you, my Son has taken my mind off things a lot the last few days xx

@Fayezp1210 my spotting was red, also mostly when I went to the loo. Very little on a pad. I had no clot. Hope it resolves soon for you x

@Neady1980 That sounds exactly the same, not much on the pad but lots when I go to the toilet.

Me too! Can’t wait to feel a little more back to normal x