Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC - Thread 2. ALL welcome!

[AMS19]

Hi ladies

This thread is open for EVERYONE. To discuss the highs, lows, emotions, and experiences of us all going through our miscarriage journey. Together we will get through this!

Previous thread:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/miscarriage/4119053-Support-thread-for-those-experiencing-or-recently-experienced-a-MC-MMC?pg=1

To my incredible strong warriors...I cannot believe we filled a thread! We've got this ladies ❤
@DMT1982
@Scottishskifun
@glowingtwig
@mia2201
@Redfoxinthesnow
@Seasalt1984
@laurat94
@tamsin424
@cocoloco88
@SuzieDeLaTour
@Cordial11
@seasalt1984
@thehotelcalifornia
@TheDaydreamBelievers
@Pettylamby
@Lililou
@Enola41
@CocoLoco88
@Nicolamac1
@Sleeeeeepy
@Mellous
@Nicolamac1
@Semla
@Seasidestarfruit
@mummydoingamasters
@elm7
@MrsD1992
@CookieMonster3001
@Dryshampoo32

Sincere apologies for missing anyone xx

@Neady1980 I got a positive OPK the day my tests went negative. We just went for it. Didnt work so now CD5 of cycle 1 post MC but thought it was worth a go!

@AMS19 if I was you I would be exactly the same, get straight back on it,once you feel ready. We have been having unprotected sex years and never once had I to do a pregnancy test until 3 weeks ago and since I found out I wouldn't have sex, I know it sounds mad. I can always tell when I've been ovulating and sometimes I would spot so wouldn't really have sex if I'm honest,I also have severe endometriosis( the reason I was told I was infertile) so sex can be painful but as much as I'm saying I'm not sure about trying again I think now I would love nothing more to experience a positive test again xx

How is everyone today?

My bleeding started again, I miscarried naturally on Sunday. How long should the bleeding last?

@AMS19 how long did it take you to get a negative test? My miscarriage at 7 weeks only took a week but I have a feeling this one will take longer as it’s much later!

I went back to work today and really found it hard emotionally as I haven’t told people. I’m not sure whether to try tomorrow or have another day off. Any tips about coping hugely appreciated ❤️

@TheDaydreamBelievers really, omg fair play to,its making me think I should do the same. I'm thinking I should just do what I have been doing and not overthink things and hope for the best x

@Neady1980 dedicated something to look into and think about isn't it. Even if it then doesn't happen maybe mentally it would help you to know your give it a shot though? But you absolutely do not want to suffer any pain

@Gymbelle hi. Sounds like it's moving the right direction. Tomorrow will be 4 weeks since my MVA. I was 11+1 at the point of MVA. My 20mlU test went negative about 6 days ago, 10mlU yesterday. Will test with the 6mlU Friday. Hoping it's negative 🙏

You should take whatever time you need. This grieving won't last forever, so give yourself whatever you need right now to help you get through. I havent told anyone at work either. It's so hard! You have all of us and we know exactly how you feel

Xx

@AMS19 it is 100% I'm a child minder and it's only since i got pregnant i was thinking that i was actually going to have a little person of my own. Like physically I'm fine to try again and honestly mentally I'm fine aswell and my poor parents were more devastated than i was when i told them today. I'm seriously thinking about just continuing on the way we were but maybe track my cycle a bit more and see what happens x

@Neady1980 got everything crossed for you!! Honestly it's matter of time before the stories on here turn positive xx

@Gymbelle I spotted for for 5 days, miscarried on Friday night I think as that's when I started spotting with back ache, no bleeding or anything today I was 8 weeks. The Hospital rang today to say that I had definitely miscarried and I shouldn't have any more bleeding going by my scan on Monday but I think everyone is different. Hope your doing ok x

@AMS19 At the moment is chocolate getting me through. I’m usually so healthy but my diet went out the window after not eating for 3 days at the weekend. The hospital wouldn’t let me eat for most of my stay as they thought I needed an op, thankfully my body did it’s thing 😀

Fingers crossed for your negative on Friday!

@Neady1980 just go with what feels right. At my last miscarriage I didn’t want anyone near me for ages then all of a sudden my partner and I just needed the closeness back and I got pregnant after 1 cycle (it had taken 18 months before)

@Neady1980 thank you. I hope you are ok and so sorry for your sad news xxx

@AMS19 definitely the stories will turn positive with lots of rainbow babies, would love to know if it is true that you are more fertile after a miscarriage. Thinking if I have to wait 4 to 6 weeks for my period to return before I try again I might crack up xx

@Gymbelle thank you, I'm ok, its horrible to go through this. Took me 20 years to get my first positive which ended in miscarriage, but I'm grateful to experience the 3 weeks that I knew I was pregnant. You are correct everyone is different and only you will know when the time is right to try again, unfortunately for me time isn't on my side as I'm 40 and also have severe endometriosis. But it does depend on the individual themselves ❤

@Neady1980 it is true - you are a little bit more likely to conceive in the 6mo after mc

@Gymbelle I took 2 weeks to stop bleeding and 7 to get negative test (baby died 10+5, surgery at 13wks)

@Neady1980 I think they say to wait for your next period so it’s easier to date?
Not sure if that’s true but I’ve heard it. But try whenever you feel ready. 💞💞.
I’ve decided to paint alllll my skirting boards to distract myself.
I’ve been off this last week, due back to work in a few days I don’t know if I’m ready. Not sure what to do.
I’m in a community role, very busy, back to back visits sort of thing with no access to toilets. My thoughts are; I need a loo due to bleeding still and emotionally I’m not sure, if someone asks me if I’m ok I think I’d just cry!
But I don’t want to let my team down. Hard.

@CocoLoco88 I also agree for a scan, I knew I had had a full miscarriage and wasn’t going to go to my follow up EPU, but the ladies on here advised I did. I personally found it helped so much. The people in EPU are so helpful and friendly to speak to, I got to ask questions etc and I actually found it ‘closure’ as such to be told it officially if that makes sense. Not closure as such but yeah I’m rambling now.

Hope everyone is ok! 💞 💞

@Jam291 thank you. Only go back to work when you feel ready. It's hard to put on a brave face . I didn't take any time of work but in fairness I mind 2 children in my own home Monday-Thursday. In fairness my parents looked after them when I had hospital appointments and I'm glad I have them because they keep me going. But everyone is different and people cope and deal with things in different ways. I really hope your ok xx

Evening Ladies, I hope everyone is okay?

Just a question re bleeding, I had minimal bleeding after my surgical last Tuesday and then since Sunday I’ve bled quite like a heavy period, no clots and no pains, is this normal? X

Hi ladies, while I have not been very vocal on this group I have been reading the posts regularly and I have found great comfort in reading your stories and knowing that I am not alone in experiencing this.

Thank you for being so open and candid about your experiences, you have been massively helpful!

@Pimmsandprimroses welcome back and lovely to see you’re finding comfort in reading the posts. Xxx

@Neady1980 I was told by the gynaecologist who did my 8.5 week private scan that you’re more fertile after a miscarriage and ovulate earlier which was the case with me as I had a loss at 5.5 weeks and conceived in the week after. All I would say is if you’re able to get a scan at EPU or somewhere else to confirm you have nothing retained before trying again as I don’t know for sure but I have a feeling that because I barely bled after the 5.5 week miscarriage and had no clue there could be retained products, I went onto conceive straight away and then miscarried again at 9.5 weeks. It is just my gut feeling now that I am aware you should have a decent bleed after a miscarriage and you can have retained tissue that I now wonder whether I had that and the second pregnancy wound not have survived because of the retained tissue there from the previous loss. The doctor at EPU never said anything about retained tissue to me the first time and said just to wait for dating purposes so maybe it’s all in my head but I can’t help but wonder. Hope that all makes sense xxx

@Fayezp1210 I was told after my surgery that you can bleed for 12-14 days after surgery and only to be concerned if you have large clots plus pain or a temperature as that could mean you have in infection. I kept having on and off brown type blood past the 14 day mark but it stopped after about 3 weeks. If you’re unsure and concerned maybe call EPU just for piece of mind xxx

@DMT1982 that's exactly what I'm afraid as I only spotted and had no clots, honestly my periods are much worse than the miscarriage I had. They did say if I get a positive pregnancy test in 10 days to ring the EPU as there maybe retained tissue. I explained my bleeding had stopped and should I expect more bleeding and she said going by my scan on Monday I shouldn't expect any more.

Its horrible you had to experience two losses so close together keeping everything crossed for you that it will happen soon xx

@Neady1980 I would say go for it then if you had a scan Monday and they said you shouldn’t expect anymore bleeding as that would have clearly shown if you had any retained tissue and shows what should have gone has gone.

I’m only putting 2 and 2 together with mine and none of it is based on any knowledge just a gut feeling.

Yours if different from mine as you’ve just had a scan so all is ok. You ovulate earlier after a miscarriage so if you’re ready to then you could TTC again. Also have you heard of a book called It starts with an Egg? A few of us have read it on here @AMS19 recommended it. There is a big section in there on the condition you have (so sorry I can’t spell it) and how certain supplements maybe able to help. I’m sure over the years you’ve read every book going and seen every specialist however just in case this one has gone under the radar it’s worth a read, for positive thinking if nothing else xxx

@Neady1980 I’m 38 so time is also against me and I’m being investigated for possibly coeliacs disease and other gastro issues at the mo so holding off on TTC in the short term until I get a definitive answer for that. Luckily I have Benenden so I called them yesterday to see a gastroenterologist as the NHS are not seeing anyone at the moment due to Covid. I’ve been with Benenden 6 months yesterday so good timing as you can’t use it until after 6 months. Whatever I’ve got going on may have contributed or caused the miscarriages but ultimately I’ll never know but want to get it sorted so I can go into the next pregnancy knowing I’ve tried my best to sort my health out first xx

@CocoLoco88 oh that’s so frustrating that your bleeding has returned. I echo what the other ladies have said - go for a scan just for peace of mind. You won’t be taking anyone else’s slot - they’ll always put the emergencies first. It will give you peace of mind and may offer some closure xx
@Neady1980 I hope you cracked open that bottle of wine and enjoyed every sip! 😀 well done to your body for doing everything naturally, must be such a relief. I conceived 3 weeks after my MMC in 2018 and while the consultant had told me to wait one period before trying, I conceived without one and all was fine! So I agree it’s more for dating purposes than anything else. I think I will wait a fresh cycle this time though as I’m feeling more nervous and think I need that time to get my head around everything. That said I change my mind hourly so come next week I may be back on it (literally ha!) x

@DMT1982 oh that’s good news you can be seen privately - that should go much quicker and fingers crossed you can get the answers you need so that you can start trying again. I’m 37 so I know what you mean about age, trying not to let it get to me though. My gynae said to think of it as a “gentle slope” rather than a cliff edge and that fertility doesn’t just disappear overnight so the fact we conceived is good news xx