Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC - Thread 2. ALL welcome!

[AMS19]

Hi ladies

This thread is open for EVERYONE. To discuss the highs, lows, emotions, and experiences of us all going through our miscarriage journey. Together we will get through this!

Previous thread:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/miscarriage/4119053-Support-thread-for-those-experiencing-or-recently-experienced-a-MC-MMC?pg=1

To my incredible strong warriors...I cannot believe we filled a thread! We've got this ladies ❤
@DMT1982
@Scottishskifun
@glowingtwig
@mia2201
@Redfoxinthesnow
@Seasalt1984
@laurat94
@tamsin424
@cocoloco88
@SuzieDeLaTour
@Cordial11
@seasalt1984
@thehotelcalifornia
@TheDaydreamBelievers
@Pettylamby
@Lililou
@Enola41
@CocoLoco88
@Nicolamac1
@Sleeeeeepy
@Mellous
@Nicolamac1
@Semla
@Seasidestarfruit
@mummydoingamasters
@elm7
@MrsD1992
@CookieMonster3001
@Dryshampoo32

Sincere apologies for missing anyone xx

@AMS19 thank you,praying my HCG levels will have gone down tomorrow. Although I'm still not bleeding heavy I I hope my body may have absorbed it

Good luck @Neady1980

@AMS19 sorry for the late reply I’m just catching up on messages as work has been stupidly busy. Yes the Gusto ones I would say are healthier than the HF as I found the HF ones very pasta based with not a lot of choice. The Gusto ones have a huge selection and are a real treat at the moment so definitely give them a whirl if you’re running out of things to cook. Xx

Also the recipes in this book are amazing, I’ve made two of the breakfasts they are delicious xx

@AMS19 amazing news your tests are only showing squinters as well 🙌🙌 all moving in the right direction lovely xxx

@mia2201 sorry to hear you’re suffering. I keep getting what feels like a UTI with cramps and needing the loo lots so assuming it’s related to the procedure. Also yesterday whilst walking home from work I just came over totally exhausted and needed my bed so was asleep by 8! I think there is still lots going on inside our bodies and we expect them to bounce back overnight but that’s an unrealistic expectation on our parts as behind the scenes they are healing and fixing everything.

Re the piles I have them internally and they make an appearance externally as well. They do cause a few issues but mainly ones I can cope with as the surgery would be pointless all the time we are trying for a baby because if I gave birth naturally it would undo all the surgery so I’m waiting. They are very common and can be uncomfortable from time to time xxx

@Neady1980 it’s absolutely awful what you’re going through and the still not knowing after all these tests and scans must be soul destroying.

I had a missed miscarriage at 9.5 weeks so can’t give you any advice on ectopic or unknown location but I can see other ladies have started to post who have had experience with this. Whatever happens have a read on the miscarriage association site as there have lots of really helpful downloads on there that a lot of us read up on before making any decisions on what road to go down and what to expect. You will get through this and will come out stronger for it but I won’t lie this bit is horrible as you’re just in limbo xxx

@Neady1980 so sorry to hear what you’re going through. I’ll keep my fingers crossed for your blood tests today - hopefully it all goes in the right direction x

@DMT1982 thank you, bleeding has completely stopped today and I havent had any pains so I'm putting down to ectopic now, it's just so confusing, I feel like my body has let me down even further now. Just a long dragged out process and the fact that physically my body feels fine

@SusieDeLaTour Thank you,the sooner the better I know so what's going to happen next so I can try and mentally prepare for it

@Neady1980 our bodies work in both weird and wonderful ways. At the moment it feels like it’s letting you down but whatever happens it’ll right it afterwards and you’ll trust it again. I massively went through a period of thinking that my body had let me down and why couldn’t I just pass it all naturally. If it wasn’t for hearing other ladies journeys on here I would still be thinking that but not everyone passes everything naturally and a lot need medical intervention which isn’t a failure it’s just everyone is so different. Thinking of you xxx

@DMT1982 I know what you mean, it's just so hard to process as I've been told since I was 17 I'd never get pregnant and believe me I tried through my 20's and 30's and gave up believing it was just not going to happen and now I'm 40 first pregnancy and going through this. As you can imagine the shock I went through when I was told I was pregnant. I'm actually glad that we didnt tell anyone except for my parents as we live with them and they had a right to know just in case I had to be rushed to hospital

@Neady1980 gosh what a journey you’ve been on, no wonder you’re all over the place if this is your first pregnancy in all that time and one that you were told would never happen.

The one positive thing out of all of this is that you can get pregnant after being told you can’t so when you are questioning everything try to remember that. Easier said than done I know. Yes of course you had to tell your parents but not just because you live with them you also need support through this. We only told my MIL and parents because if the boot was on the other foot I would want to know to be able to help as much as I could.

Try to get as many answers as possible from EPU as your situation is so very unique trying for all this time and then at 40 you fall pregnant. I know one of the ladies on here paid to find out why the miscarriage has happened by haven the tissue analysed which given the opportunity I would have opted for however that was never offered. Just an idea after being told for so long you can’t get pregnant and you have that’s amazing. Also you are more fertile after a miscarriage which I can confirm as I fell pregnant straight after my last miscarriage (that one also ended in a miscarriage but that was just bad luck as lots of ladies on the very first thread had successful stories) lots of love xxxx

@Neady1980 oh gosh you’ve been through the mill 😢 you must be on a rollercoaster of emotions but like @DMT1982 said, it’s very positive that your body has fallen pregnant naturally after so many years of trying. Shows you can do it! I would certainly press the EPU for answers if you can - it will help you to know as much as possible given everything you’ve been through. I have had my tissue sent off for analysis but I’ve had to pay to do that privately. Unfortunately I work for myself now so no longer have lovely company health insurance but I feel it’s worth the money. Really feel for you and hope that today goes well xx

@SuzieDeLaTour thanks for posting I couldn’t remember who had paid to have their tissue sent away. I personally think it’s definitely worth doing however I appreciate it’s not for everyone. Can I ask whether you’ve had the results back yet? Xx

@DMT1982 I haven’t yet - it takes 6 weeks as they have to wait for it to culture. All sounds a bit grim (!) but it’s the only way I could get answers and I will also find out the sex, which I know isn’t for everyone but I take some comfort in knowing 😊 I’ve got my follow up consultation 1st March so will keep you ladies posted xx

@Neady1980 I'm so sorry for what you've been through! I definitely want to echo what @DMT1982 said though, that the fact you got pregnant is actually a fabulous thing! You might find it easier to fall again quite quickly if that's what you want.

@DMT1982 the cookbook looks good but OH bought me four other cookbooks for Christmas, our shelves are bursting 😂 think he'd kill me if I bought any more!!

@mia2201 I'm really sorry to hear you're struggling! But I'm glad that you've reached out to your GP for help, that's definitely the right thing to do x.

@Scottishskifun how fab that they've offered you counseling! Glad to see you have such a supportive work environment.

Update from me... we DTD 😱 I know it's only 2 weeks tomorrow since my MVA, but I've had a week of no bleeding and two days with no spotting at all (and the spotting was just tiny dots of brown or pink CM). It was a bit sensitive/not quite sore but otherwise quite normal! No bleeding or spotting since (yet). I really feel like my body's trying to get ready to ovulate so I thought I may as well be ready just in case!

@LauraT94 oh that’s exciting!! Good news it hasn’t caused any bleeding. Hope it felt like life is slowly returning to normal..! X

Thank you all so much for your support, I really appreciate it. It still doesn't really seem like its happening to me. Bloods are done so hopefully I'll hear news later today or tomorrow xx

I’ve got no idea what’s going on with my body - im 11 days post op and I’ve started to get what I’m guessing are hormonal spots on my chest / chin! That doesn’t normally happen when I get my period (thankfully!!) so no idea what’s happening now plus I’ve started to get more CM - although maybe it’s more obvious because the bleeding has stopped 🤷‍♀️ Can’t test if I’m gearing up for ovulation as the strips would no doubt come back positive given my HCG strips are still very positive!? X

@SuzieDeLaTour yes it was a nice slice of normality! Plus I can convince myself we're working towards another pregnancy now we've actually had sex 😂 I'm the same with the hormonal spots! All on my chin which is where I get them when I ovulate... I had a 'high' reading on an OPK (66% on Femometer) the other day. My theory is I just need to pee on OPKs a few times a day at the mo. Yes they could be reading higher than normal because of the HCG left in my system, but I'll be able to see any fluctuations. If they come up as peak or higher than my 66% then I know there's something going on!

Hi all

Sorry I didn't know were else to turn. I lost my pregnancy yesterday and early hours of the morning. I went for a scan yesterday as I started bleeding and they confirmed there was no heart beat. I was ten weeks. My heart is broken, I broke down and I just prayed they'd got it wrong. They haven't. I had a lot of pain and regular trips to the toilet throughout the night. I passed it and I didn't want to flush the chain 🥺 it was like saying goodbye and I didn't want to. I'm so broken right now and keep crying all the time. Do things get better? I literally have never felt heart ache like this before 💔😣

@Neady1980 your situation sounds very similar to mine. On the scan they found the baby sitting out with the womb but with no heartbeat. I was sent home for expectant management for 48 hours as they said it may pass without surgery. The hospital were right and surgery was avoided. I had to do the hcg blood tests to make sure and a repeat scan but all came back clear with hcg going down (rapidly!). Ectopic is scary and an added complication but isn’t always going to end up with surgery or the loss of a tube. I’m one week post miscarriage and happy to answer any questions if it helps.

@Sherryxxxx bless you. The shock and devastation is overwhelming. Do you have any family about? Do you have follow up at the epu? In the hours and days after mine I got my pjays on, sat on the sofa, cried and ate a lot of junk food! I binged watched trash tv and literally closed the curtains and turned my phone off. I did that for a few days before I felt a little more human xxxx

@sherryxxxx I'm so sorry you've been through this, it's just devastating. You're right in the middle of the storm of getting such shocking news and then having miscarried so soon afterwards, there's so much you're having to process.

In answer to your question, things do get better but it does take time. Do you have people who can support you? The first few days are probably going to be a bit of a crying/ angry/sad blur. In time things should get easier. Lots of us on this group are a few weeks post MC now and everyone's journey is unique but lots of ladies saying they're feeling a bit better each day. Go with whatever you're feeling because everything you feel is valid. I hope you find support and solace with this group. Sending love xxx

@SuzieDeLaTour yes please keep us updated once you have the results. I didn’t realise they took 6 weeks to come back and thought I may have missed your update xx