Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC - Thread 2. ALL welcome!

[AMS19]

Hi ladies

This thread is open for EVERYONE. To discuss the highs, lows, emotions, and experiences of us all going through our miscarriage journey. Together we will get through this!

Previous thread:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/miscarriage/4119053-Support-thread-for-those-experiencing-or-recently-experienced-a-MC-MMC?pg=1

To my incredible strong warriors...I cannot believe we filled a thread! We've got this ladies ❤
@DMT1982
@Scottishskifun
@glowingtwig
@mia2201
@Redfoxinthesnow
@Seasalt1984
@laurat94
@tamsin424
@cocoloco88
@SuzieDeLaTour
@Cordial11
@seasalt1984
@thehotelcalifornia
@TheDaydreamBelievers
@Pettylamby
@Lililou
@Enola41
@CocoLoco88
@Nicolamac1
@Sleeeeeepy
@Mellous
@Nicolamac1
@Semla
@Seasidestarfruit
@mummydoingamasters
@elm7
@MrsD1992
@CookieMonster3001
@Dryshampoo32

Sincere apologies for missing anyone xx

@AMS19 that is brilliant news. I've been putting off testing on FRER as was scared it would still come back even a tiny bit positive, but am also going to do one Thursday or Friday so fingers crossed it will be negative. Definitely a weird feeling wanting it to be negative.

@LauraT94 looks like your lines are definitely going down, but as @SuzieDeLaTour said too, it took me a few weeks to get it to be a "squinted"/blank too.

How is everyone doing? I was feeling super positive yesterday morning, as it was the end of first AF since MC in December and coming up to ovulation hopefully at the weekend so have started tracking again with OPKs although fully expecting things to maybe not be as hey used to be, did a yoga class on zoom before work and taking all the prenatal vitamins again, but in the afternoon one of my partner's close friend announced they were expecting and baby's due date would have been the same as ours so that knocked me back and this morning I did a clearblue ovulation test which came back with the O for not fertile which is what I expected it to be but it made me cry for about an hour 😭 I didn't take any time off with the MC in December as it was Christmas/New Year so already had time off and didn't think I needed anything extra, but now thinking maybe I rushed back, my work don't know about it.

@PlantMummy87 that sounds really tough. Pregnancy announcements are just a reminder of what we have lost. So many mixed emotions and realistically a step back on our recovery at times I suspect.

@AMS19 , yes I was 8 weeks so in theory my body should get back to zero quicker. My HCG on Friday last week was something like 180 so I would hope in another 2 weeks it will be zero at those levels already.

One thing to ask, epu suggested I tested with a standard pregnancy test which they say is one which needs 25ml or greater. They are satisfied with a negative on that and said not to get worried about super sensitive ones like frer. I’m obviously going to do a frer though as I want it to be zero

@PlantMummy87 oh I'm so sorry that happened!! I'm exactly the same, feel positive and raring to go again then see a scan picture or baby announcement and it floors me again. It's so bloody tough! It sounds like you're doing everything right though and preparing your body best you can which is great. Hopefully O day is only around the corner. I'm hoping my body might think about ovulating now my tests are negative. That's why I'm hoping for a negative on a FRER Thursday so I know it's possible. There are always going to be these really tough moments, but soon, hopefully very soon, we will be pregannt again with our rainbow babies and get to have all these moments ourselves. And they will be even more special xx

@Ralala oh that's interesting. My EPU said the opposite and told me to specifically use a FRER! I'm guessing my HCG level is now somewhere between 0-10 so hoping another 2 days and it will be below 5. I got a negative on my 20mlU Friday so 5 days ago. My understanding, although the research is very contradictory, is most ladies ovulate after their hcg reaches 5 or below. So a negative FRER should indication the possibility for ovulation

@AMS19 it’s amazing how different each epu seems to approach early pregnancy etc

I'm the same @AMS19 @PlantMummy87 - was doing great for a number of weeks. Then my best pal announced her pregnancy to our friends, a group of colleagues were talking yesterday at a meeting about their pregnancies/their young baby, aaaaand suddenly I've cried the last 5/5 days.

@PlantMummy87 oh bless you, I've been the same, feeling positive one minute and then something pregnancy related pops up. It's so hard isn't it. I was chatting to a friend the other day who is currently 19 weeks pregnant and she was going on about buying new born nappies and I had to work so hard not to just cut her off and hang up the phone, I felt so mad and then totally exhausted from holding it in.

@AMS19 great news about your negative test. Another step in the right direction!

Hello, hope I’m ok to join.

I had a miscarriage at 7 weeks in October and then one on Sunday at 12 weeks 1 day ending up in 24 hours in hospital due to blood loss.

We have been TTC for nearly 2 years and I had got pregnant after the HSG test - not sure what it did but I have heard other people have had similar.

Just been reading through the thread and took comfort I’m ready your stories. Xxx

@TheDaydreamBelievers I'm sorry it's just total crap and there is no sugar coating it. You're in a clean cycle now with every chance of a successful pregnancy ahead of you shortly!

@Gymbelle welcome. That's absolutely awful I'm so so sorry you've had it happen twice. I can imagine falling pregnant so soon and it happening again. Unfortunately chances are it was just bad luck again, which I know must be so hard to believe and accept. A few ladies on here have had more than one miscarriage. There are no words to comfort except we know how you're feeling and I promise it does get easier over time. They'll be good days and bad news but you will get through this xx

Hi @Gymbelle, 💞🙁💞 so sorry to read that, welcome to the club you never want to be part of but it’s so so helpful☺️ and supportive.

Thought I’d update all, had my scan today, actually wasn’t too bad considering I was ( TMI )still bleeding. Bit of pressure as she checked my ovaries but overall it was fine. She said that I’ve passed all the tissue and stuff and expect to bleed up for a week now. Sort of felt like closure.

Hope everyone else is doing ok.
Can I ask what an FRER is?
I had a light pregnancy test today, IC was way lighter than what I was getting. It definitely does feel weird wanting a negative.

Xx

Thank you for your kind words @AMS19. It’s so helpful having people on here to talk to as we hadn’t told family and friends about the pregnancy. It’s good news you had a negative test, have you decided if you will try again?

My scan was meant to be today. 😢

It’s the shock this time that completely floored me. Normal early scans, bloods normal and all progressing, no bleeding at all. On Saturday I felt fine, went for a walk, baked, cleaned and then at 11pm had awful cramps and was in A&E by 4am my bleeding was so heavy and the pain I had was unbearable, even codine wasn’t touching it.

Thanks @Jam291. Glad you scan went ok and you had some closure ❤️

@Jam291 FRER = First Response Early Response. Theyre the most sensitive test you can buy :) lowest HcG threshold so show up a BFP sooner and if its BFN on a FRER then its definitely a BFN

@Gymbelle that sounds awful. I'm so sorry that happened. It somehow seems harder to except the longer the pregnancy. But we have to believe it was for the best and the right thing for the baby. It's awful though.
Yes we are trying again. I'm 33 and my husband 34 so don't have loads of time on our side as this is our first. So keen to jump straight back in. If we have another miscarriage then will look at private testing and maybe wait a cycle or two to let my body recover. Praying it was just back luck though

@Jam291 great the scan went as well as it could. Also so nice to get the reassurance on no remaining tissue as it means you won't have to go through surgery/medical management which is great, you've been through enough. Now is the time to slowly start to heal, one day at a time. Definitely no rush

@Gymbelle sorry you have had to join definitely take it easy I also ended up in hospital with blood loss. It took me a good 2 weeks to get any level of energy back I miscarried at 14 weeks.

I have been signed off work again for another 2 weeks I was feeling a bit better but one conversation with my director and it was clear it wasn't a good idea especially given my regulatory role. But the plus side they have set me up with 6 counselling sessions and I have a assessment on Thursday which is quicker progress than with the GPs who could only send me PowerPoint presentations at the moment!

Hey ladies, sorry about the radio silence, hope you're all ok. So many new ladies too, sad to see but this group is 100% where you want to find yourselves after a loss.
I've been actually feeling ok but my brain started coming up with some distraction tactics which make me think maybe I have not processed the loss quite yet and not ready to try again. I've been waking up sweating, my left arm goes dead in my sleep- it happened 3 times and think it's not related but I freaked out and called my gp and he said to come in in a couple of weeks for a chat and maybe some tests. In the meantime I developed internal piles (if anyone has had them please, please private message me as they upset me so much). What else is going to happen I wonder. I always suffered from health anxiety but this time it's so bad I arranged zoom theraphy which i'll begin this week. I was so, so happy being pregnant and since the hospital I went from 'I'm ok, I survived this' to 'I am not safe in my body'. Ugh... On the plus side my first period was absolutely normal. Phew. Thank you for letting me vent, hope I don't sound to self-involved but I reckon after what's happened in December the mixture of hormones, grief and anxiety about the future are messing with my mind and body. Love to all x

Hi @mia2201 you poor thing. I have it is normal normal emotionally you're run down you end up getting physical side effects. I have been getting awful headaches ever since the miscarriage. Great you're getting it all checked out though. Try not to out any pressure on yourself time wise. Everyone is different and there is no right answer at all. We are all here for you xx

@AMS19 I’m glad to hear you are positive and thinking to the future. It will happen. I have been meditating and finding it really useful. We are 34 so have decided to try again soon too.

We conceived this one the next cycle so I’m holding onto that. I had a very early miscarriage in 2018 so the hospital have referred us to the miscarriage management team as we have now had 3.

@Scottishskifun wow 14 weeks that must have been so so tough. Take all the time you need from work, you will know when it’s right to return

Xxxxx

Thank you @AMS19, you're always here for us. You're amazing! X I'm still feeling positive about trying soon, i just need some professional reassurance. This winter isn't helping but it won't be long til daffodils start blooming, everything will be better in the spring!

Hey, hope you dont mind me joining in. I am 7 weeks and started to spot last Thursday, went to emergency room last friday where they did an ultrasound and said they seen the gestational sac but not a yolk sac and they told me could be ectopic or miscarriage and gave me an appointment for the EPU for Monday. Got through the weekend fine, still had mild bleeding but no pain, They gave me a transvaginal scan Monday morning and told me that they couldn't see anything and said it was pregnancy unknown location. Got bloods done Monday and back tomorrow for more. Still have bleeding, no pain and no clots so still could be ectopic or miscarriage. The waiting is the worse part, just feeling deflated now and would love to know what to expect or if anyone has gone through this??

@PlantMummy87 oh it’s so tough - pregnancy announcements are just awful. You can be feeling fine and then suddenly something like that - or anything baby related - can knock you for six. Would work let you have a few days off even if you don’t tell them what’s happened?
@TheDaydreamBelievers aww I’m sorry to hear you’ve been feeling down. It’s just utter she!! but like @AMS19 said, you’re in a fresh cycle now and can look to the future...and getting one step closer to having a little bubba ❤️
@Gymbelle welcome to the group - I’m sorry to hear you’ve had two in a row, that’s incredibly tough. I’ve also had two but my first was in 2018 so they weren’t back to back. My 12 week scan was meant to be this Friday and I’m dreading the day too 😢 I hope this group will offer you some comfort...and a great place to vent and get everything off your chest xx

@Neady1980 there are some ladies on here with an eptopic. My understanding is that they will monitor your levels if that's still rising then it indicates an eptopic and then I think it's surgery. From the ladies on here who have had surgery although it's upsetting it's over quickly you can chose under a GA or not.
The waiting is the worst part but hopefully you will get answers soon.

@gymbelle I'm taking it slowly as I'm showing signs of PTSD so hoping the counselling will help. It was a shock to find out (was a MMC at 9 weeks was 14 weeks when I found out). The ladies here have been amazing though although all different experiences I've found it a great source of information, comfort and understanding.

Thanks @mia2201 it's lovely we all have each other ❤❤

So sorry to hear that @Neady1980 definitely a couple of ladies on here who can help with eptopic and have been through the same thing. The limbo period is awful. Reallt hoping they get a conclusion either way really soon

Thank you for your response, I'm a nervous wreck everytime I go to the loo expecting to see clots. As horrible as it sounds I just want it over with and get back to some normality. I really hope my body can do this naturally

@Neady1980 I have everything crossed for you. One of our lovely ladies was booked in for surgery and passed naturally. Whatevee happens you're going to get through it. It's super scary but you'll come out the other side stronger I promise you!