Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC - Thread 2. ALL welcome!

[AMS19]

Hi ladies

This thread is open for EVERYONE. To discuss the highs, lows, emotions, and experiences of us all going through our miscarriage journey. Together we will get through this!

Previous thread:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/miscarriage/4119053-Support-thread-for-those-experiencing-or-recently-experienced-a-MC-MMC?pg=1

To my incredible strong warriors...I cannot believe we filled a thread! We've got this ladies ❤
@DMT1982
@Scottishskifun
@glowingtwig
@mia2201
@Redfoxinthesnow
@Seasalt1984
@laurat94
@tamsin424
@cocoloco88
@SuzieDeLaTour
@Cordial11
@seasalt1984
@thehotelcalifornia
@TheDaydreamBelievers
@Pettylamby
@Lililou
@Enola41
@CocoLoco88
@Nicolamac1
@Sleeeeeepy
@Mellous
@Nicolamac1
@Semla
@Seasidestarfruit
@mummydoingamasters
@elm7
@MrsD1992
@CookieMonster3001
@Dryshampoo32

Sincere apologies for missing anyone xx

@LauraT94 yes don’t go buying anymore cook books if you already have 4 waiting to go. I posted it because @AMS19 said she was running out of recipes to cook so thought this may help as super healthy.

Thanks for the update and yes I agree there is no point in waiting around as they say 2 weeks after the surgical in my case you’re fine to DTD, I’m sure your husband won’t be complaining about getting in some practice haha xx

Thanks all bloods are done so now its waiting to hear from the hospital. Absolutely hated being in the hospital today seeing all the women with their bumps and it doesn't help as no one is allowed in the hospital with me. The waiting game is driving me insane now that I feel absolutely fine, I didnt have any pain except for a little back ache and spotting and now that's all gone

@Neady1980 it’s awful isn’t it sitting there with others who have visible bumps. Thank god for masks as you just don’t make eye contact with anyone, I certainly didn’t! What helped me when I was sat there on the maternity ward waiting for my op or sat in EPU waiting to be seen was that you don’t know what journeys the other ladies have been on and this maybe their rainbow baby after a long painful road. I found some comfort in that when I was maybe beginning to get a bit hateful or upset that others were still pregnant and I wasn’t.

What have they said about your bloods and the next step? Xxx

@DMT1982 that's what I kept saying to myself in the hospital today just like they have no idea what's going on with me I have no idea what's going on with them.

I got bloods done on Monday and then again Today, they are hoping the HCG levels will go down meaning I miscarried or I will miscarry shortly, if they go up then they are sure its ectopic as they cant locate the pregnancy and will need surgery as they said I've showed no signs of a natural miscarriage so honestly I haven't a clue what's going on until they ring me

@Neady1980 that makes sense I understand now. I hope either way you can start to move forward and make some decisions, albeit they will not be easy decisions it will still mean that something is going to be done instead of just not knowing as that’s awful as you just don’t have any control xxx

@DMT1982 exactly I just want to move on and get back to some normality. I'm praying that maybe my body absorbed it and I got away with it lightly with only spotting for the last 5 days,its just so hard to tell as I was told to prepare for bleeding that's heavier than a period, cramping and clots but didn't have any of this, unless it's still to come but right now I'm physically fine

@Neady1980 my baby got partially absorbed so this may well be the case! At the private scan they thought it was a blighted ovum because they saw an empty sac but it wasn't, body had just started to disintegrate the embryo! Got everything crossed for you

@Neady1980 it can happen as @AMS19 experienced so keeping everything crossed for you, I don’t think @AMS19 had any bleeding from memory am I right @AMS19 or did I make that up? Xxx

Thanks all Hospital just rang said I had a miscarriage, HCG levels were 220 on Monday and 90 today so now I've just to take a pregnancy test in 10 days to make sure its negative. In a way I'm relieved I now know and thankful it wasnt ectopic but now I think the word miscarriage has just hit me because I didnt feel anything

@Sherryxxxx oh I’m so sorry to hear how broken you’re feeling. You’re very much in the thick of it right now and there’s no other way to say it - it feels truly horrendous! We all share your disbelief and pain and I’m sorry that you passed your baby in the toilet. That must have been heartbreaking 😢 I found out two weeks ago today that I had miscarried and had surgical management 11 days ago. This is my second miscarriage and it does get easier. It’s a huge cliche and can be quite grating to hear at times (!) but time truly is a healer. Take every day as it comes and be kind to yourself . We are all here so vent / rage to us xx

@DMT1982 I will! Yeah it takes a long time. Gynae said they need to see what grows to confirm the cause...😢

Hi everyone, wanted to say welcome to all the people who have recently joined the thread and hope you find this a place that will provide some comfort as I certainly have!

I’m a bit disappointed today, as I’d had nearly 24 hours with no bleeding at all and then last night I suddenly had quite bad cramps and a rush of fresh blood. Feels like a bit of a setback 😒

The EPU said if I was still having bleeding or pain two weeks post-med management that I should call up and arrange to go in for a scan.

I had the medical management two weeks ago on Friday, so I’m wondering whether I should get checked at the EPU or whether this latest bleeding is finally the end of it. It’s back to light spotting today...

Would be interested to know others’ thoughts on whether asking for a scan on Friday is unnecessary worrying on my part!! All a bit wobbly... 😬 x

@Neady1980 bless you that’s a relief no ectopic but also it’s a blow in another way as confirms you’ve had a miscarriage which makes it final and a confirmation of your worst fears. You’re starting the grieving process now for your loss and for what could have been, it’s horrible but you have to allow yourself and your partner time to grieve. That will be together but also you may feel very alone as it’s a different experience for you as it’s happening to you physically as well as mentally. Whatever happens do not give up hope, hope that you will fall pregnant again and this awful experience will be behind you. You’ll never forget but if you keep hold of hope you’ll get through this xxxx

@cocoloco88 ahh no that's so frustrating if it seemed like your bleeding had stopped and then came back! I had med management 3 weeks and 2 days ago and my EPU told me to call if bleeding not stopped at 3 weeks... think its been said before on this thread, strange how the EPUs all have slightly different procedures. My bleeding/spotting stopped at exactly 2 weeks, although I had a couple of times between weeks 2 and 3 where I had cramps and then passed a small clot, but they were quite dry?! But now seems to have stopped completely. Maybe see how you go over next couple of days and call for advice on Friday if you need?

I've been feeling really cranky and irritable last couple of days so wondering if it's PMT...or just January/lockdown blues! Anyone else approaching AF having a hormonal crash?!

@CocoLoco88 I'd consider the scan just for the reassurance. By the time I had the follow up scan it wasnt really necessary but I found it good to check all gone and looking fine!

Hi @Sherryxxxx I'm so sorry. Its absolutely awful and we all totally understand how you feel. Finding out about my miscarriage broke my heart even though I had an inkling something wasn't quite right. I promise you it does get easier. Absolutely. Not tomorrow or the next day, but over time. Be patient, you'll get there

@Neady1980 I'm so so pleased it wasn't eptopic. I had no bleeding after my baby disintegrated either! Weird but I quite like the fact it's still inside me somewhere and now part of me. Strange I know!

@CocoLoco88 I agree. I would always advocate a scan for reassurance. This experience is hard enough so you should take anything you can get to make it even a small bit easier!

Thank you all for your support, yes I'm relieved and at least I now know so I can actually come to terms with it and now strangely I'm glad my body sorted it out itself as I was really feeling let down by my body. Hope everyone is doing as well as can be expected xx

@Neady1980 yes definitely well done to body. My body had no clue, my symptoms got worse and worse and had zero bleeding. You'll get there I promise xx

@AMS19 I was lucky, i only spotted for 5 days and had mild back ache. Just have to do a pregnancy test in 10 days to make sure its negative. Doesn't feel like it has happened to me as today is the first day I feel completely normal physically. Just feel so relieved now

@Neady1980 got everything crossed for you with the test. Are you going to try again? Thus little miracle showed you whats possible now ❤

@AMS19 I honestly dont know, it was such a shock when I found out after been told from such a young at it was never going to be possible and then when I turn 40 i get a positive test (10 tests to be precise). I would love to try straight away but I'm afraid I'll just get hung up on taking tests. I haven't tracked ovulation or anything in the last 5 years. My partner just said we should just carry on like we have been and if it happens it happens. It's the thoughts of going through this again, but at the same time I think if I dont try I'll always think what if xxx

@Neady1980 yeah it's so tough isn't it. On a MUCH smaller scale, I was going to wait until I had a period before trying. Then had the thought of "what if I missed a good egg". Its definitely the fear of missing out of an opportunity. You don't have to make any major decisions now, take your time and see how you feel xx

@AMS19 I've heard your more fertile after a miscarriage which is making me think to try again asap as I feel fine physically and although I had a miscarriage I couldn't believe I was actually pregnant in the first place. They did tell me to wait till after my first period before trying but also if I feel ready to start whenever I want. I'm going to open a bottle of wine and enjoy a few glasses and then really think long and hard about what I'm going to do.
Are you going to try straight away? xx

@Neady1980 definitely crack open that wine! My consultant was clear the only reason to wait is timing the pregnancy better, and they can do that with a scan. There isn't a medical reason to wait. I did in my head think a "clear out" from a period would be good though. But decided to get on with it. I havent been "trying" in the sense of using OPKs or temp tracking, but we have been having unprotected sex. I only got a negative on a 10mlU test a couple of days ago though, and still need to get a negative on a First Response 6mlU, hopefully this week, before I'll probably ovulate though. I think we will keep having sex and just see what happens, then properly track from next cycle. I'm keen to jump back in and pray it was just bad luck xx