Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC

[AMS19]

Hi ladies

A few of us got talking on another thread and found having each other in the same boat, whilst devastating, helpful. So here is a little thread so we can stay in touch and support each other through this journey.

Anyone who has recently experienced or is experiencing a MC/MMC please join us. We are just on the start of our journey ❤

I found out I had a MMC on 21st December at 9+5. This was following a scan that showed a baby with a heartbeat 3 weeks earlier. My body hasn't let go at all, with no bleeding, so I'm booked in for surgery tomorrow. The hardest thing waiting over Christmas 💔

P.s. I'm sorry if I put anyone off with that! I'm sure with painkillers it would have been more bearable. My body has gone into a shaking fit so I think I have some shock! Xx

@AMS19 gosh you poor girl that sounds bloody barbaric 😢

You’ve done incredibly well and have come out the other side of it. It’s all over now, you’ve done it, you’re made of tough stuff 💪🏻💪🏻 Make sure you don’t go home until you feel able to and get some painkillers into your system ASAP!!! So pleased it’s over with xxxx

@AMS19 also don’t apologise for being truthful because that’s what makes this thread so helpful. It’s real life women giving their real life experiences xxx

Oh my goodness, that sounds so horrible for you @ams19. I'm glad for you it's over and done with! Hope you can go home and get lots of rest and strong pain killers! Well done for bearing it, thoughts are with you xx

@AMS19 oh my goodness you poor thing that sounds awful. But... you’ve done it! Well done lovely. I hope the pain eases and you feel better soon.

@DMT1982 thank you! Honesntly I feel like I've been hit by 100 buses. My temp is 38.2 so I'm not allowed to leave....arrrgggghhhh

@AMS19 I'm pleased you've been able to go ahead but not offering you any painkillers sounds appalling. Here's hoping that your temperature goes down soon x

Thanks so much @Seasalt1984 @Mellous @redfoxinthesnow I am absolutely so glad it is over. Never again! I'm having surgery if god forbid it happens again! I'm trying everything I can to bring it down. Even though I feel freezing and am shaking I've stripped down 😂😂😂 the cramping now is just like period pains so definitely bearable. I so desperately want to go home xx

@AMS19 this is dreadful to read, how absolutely awful. No pain relief is like being in the bloody Middle Ages. I'm so sorry. I hope you get some pain relief ASAP.

At least it is over now, well done, you are so strong. Xx

@glowingtwig thank you lovely xx

@AMS19 do you know when they'll test your temperature again? Glad the cramping is getting better.

@Redfoxinthesnow no idea. Hopefully soon. I've stripped down, washed my wrist and face with cold water, drunk loads of cold water and eaten some biscuits. Any other tips baring standing outside in the cold? 😂🥶
I did say to my husband about holding cold water under my tongue but he told me off for cheating 😂😂

@AMS19 it sounds like you're doing everything possible - are there any cold showers available ?

@Redfoxinthesnow might have to resort to that next!!

@AMS19 did they say why your temp might be high? Make sure they do a blood test for infection markers xx

You are dealing with this so well. I'd be livid and making a complaint.

@glowingtwig they've given me antibiotics so if there is an infection hopefully that will help. I just really don't want to stay overnight, talk about the worst NYE in history 😂😂
To be honest I'm just so exhausted from it all. I'm glad they scanned after as gives me hope it is all gone. I'm actually quite glad it will take 4 weeks for things to get back to normal, gives my body time to recover before TTC again x

@AMS19 I just saw this come up on my thread. Oh my god it sounds absolutely barbaric, I’m so sorry you had to go through that. I can’t get my head around the fact they didn’t offer pain relief!? You are so very brave and strong and thank god it’s over. I hope you manage to get your temp down but like @glowingtwig said, make sure they check for infection markers. I hope now that the procedure is over you can start to recover and heal, physically and emotionally. Wishing you all the very best for 2021 xxx

Thanks @SuzieDeLaTour xx

@AMS19 I’m so sorry what you’ve been through the last couple of days and to end like it has is just awful. I really hope your temp goes down and you can get home as def the best place to be to recover.

Look after yourself. xx

Ok, glad you have the antibiotics. I think they sometimes count on us feeling so emotionally wrecked that we just want to get out of there. I just don't think this would happen to a man.

Really hope you can get out of there and snuggle up on the sofa. Xx

So update from me.

Was a tough morning with us still being in limbo and including me having a panic attack when they sent DH away because of covid rules. They called him back pretty quick to get him to calm me down!

So the sac has grown slightly and the yolk (bigger than 10 days ago but not 10 days worth of growth if that makes sense) and then this time there is what looks like a grain of rice (so guess the fetal pole) as that’s what could turn into baby.

So scan again 9am on 14th Jan. If the grain of rice has grown again it will be scan again in another 2 weeks and so on until it gets to 7mm at which point a heartbeat should be seen. If no growth I think they will then be able to call it a miscarriage or if gets to 7mm and no heartbeat they can call it. So could be a really drawn out process. Xx

@ELM7 oh my god!! That is absolutely awful for you!! How sure are you on dates etc? Maybe this could all end well for you, but totally get why you would be in an absolute state. Covid is ruining everything isn't it ☹ I'm so so sorry. I cant imagine not being able to just move on xx

I'm so sorry @ELM7 the uncertainty is just crippling. Xx

I'm so angry. I made my decision to have the surgery under general, rang the line they gave me and they won't do it until next Friday. So another whole week of hanging around waiting, taking it to nearly FIVE weeks since the first scan saying there was no heartbeat.

The woman on the phone tried to convince me to have it under local (no thanks) it's obviously a cheaper option for the hospital and it was the usual compassion-free crap that I've had the whole way along. The consultant herself said general or medical management but as usual there was no joined up thinking or communication in my notes.

I'm so upset and fed up with this whole rigmarole now. I feel like punching myself repeatedly in the stomach because at least that's taking SOME kind of action.

36.7...I'm going home!!

Ladies I just want to say thank you SO much for the last 2 days. Honestly you have all got me through it and I'm not sure without you I could have coped. When I set up the original thread and this one I never dreamed how powerful it would be. I'm devastated we are all here but genuinely feel like I've found friends at such a dark time. You are all amazing warriors and so supportive. I feel so much better about us doing this journey together. And @dmt1982 a special mention for spending most of your birthday messaging me on here! What a diamond.

Honestly I have so much love for you all. 2021 is going to be amazing for us, and we can start experiencing all the highs together too. Lots and lots of love and a very Happy New Year xx