Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC

[AMS19]

Hi ladies

A few of us got talking on another thread and found having each other in the same boat, whilst devastating, helpful. So here is a little thread so we can stay in touch and support each other through this journey.

Anyone who has recently experienced or is experiencing a MC/MMC please join us. We are just on the start of our journey ❤

I found out I had a MMC on 21st December at 9+5. This was following a scan that showed a baby with a heartbeat 3 weeks earlier. My body hasn't let go at all, with no bleeding, so I'm booked in for surgery tomorrow. The hardest thing waiting over Christmas 💔

Procedure not producer

@Mellous I'm really sorry. My EPU had to rescan me but only once then I was able to get the ball rolling on the next steps. Although my next steps have been a pain with surgery cancelled twice. I'm hoping to have MVA today so at least I can move forward. It is really tough, just take one day at a time xx

@AMS19 thinking of you ❤️ I really hope it's ok and over soon. This was an option I hadn't really thought of. Sending good vibes xx

@Mellous I'm so sorry this is happening to you too. It's awful. Same with me, they wouldn't accept the private scan. I did comment that if it hadn't been a week's wait at the EPU I would have gone to them first. The wait is awful, all you can do it try to distract yourself xx

@Mellous sorry you are having to join this thread 😢
That’s such a shame the NHS won’t accept the private scan because in the current pandemic it seems mad to bring you back into the hospital for another scan. That being said like @AMS19 said once you do have the second scan things start to move quicker especially as it’ll be in the new year and some form of normally will resume albeit the pandemic EPU is seen as an emergency department so should be left alone as much as possible. Have a read of the previous thread and also the options that @AMS19 posted with the links to the miscarriage association pages as these were all very helpful in preparing me for when I did go into EPU to decide what path I wanted to go down. Everyone’s decisions are personal and whatever you decide will be safe. Please use us all to chat to and sound off at. It’s a horrible time especially when you would have already started planning your 2021and future around a little one but don’t give up hope as your time will come and so many ladies have gone onto have successful pregnancies and a loss xxx

@AMS19 I have my fingers crossed that you can go ahead with the MVA today. I feel awful for you that you've had to wait around so much, dragging out such a horrible experience. I received my blood results this morning and I'll be having another test in 48 hours to check my hormone levels are going down. I really hope that will be the end of it all as I want it over with & my physical experience has been nothing compared to what many of you have gone through. @Mellous sorry to welcome you to this thread. It's annoying that you have to wait so long for a scan to confirm what you know but I hope things will move quickly after that.

Thank you @DMT1982 which thread is that one? It's really difficult because I have a bit of a phobia of anything unnatural going up there... I don't even like using tampons really and the thought of being messed about with up there makes me feel physically sick. Also I'm scared it could mess up what as a natural process seems to get me pregnant quite easily even at 39.

At the same time the medical management option is terrifying as because of covid they say I'd definitely have to take both tablets at home and the bleed I had before was utterly terrifying. There's no one to look after DD except my husband because of Covid. On Christmas Day she had to be left in her play pen crying while DH was on the phone to the ambulance service and I was on the floor. Awful. Just feels like there is no good option and I do not know what to do.

Thanks ladies. Just putting all my energy is to praying the MVA happens today. I want this all left behind in 2020!

The only advice I would now give, given my experienced of trying to get surgery twice, is ask your EPU how often it gets cancelled. Honestly this experience has been draining. I was booked in Tuesday last week and still haven't had it. Having it cancelled twice has been exhausting and I probably wouldn't have gone down this route if I had know this would be the outcome x

Thank you all so much for the kind messages! I will have a look into the two options so that I can have a decision made before my next scan. I just want this over as soon as possible! What a way to end the year, eh?

@AMS19 so sorry to hear how much you’ve been messed around - what is the reason for cancelling? Is it Covid?

@Mellous yes covid. Essentially they've had to turn some of the theatre recovery rooms into covid ICUs. So the theatres are getting backed up. I was in hospital from 6.45 to 4pm yesterday and it didn't get done. Back in from 6.25am today and got cancelled a second time. Thank god they are trying for the MVA even though they don't offer is usually because that doesn't require a theatre / general. Your hospital might be totally fine, I'm in London so badly hit, but I would check! It drags everything out so much. It is already dragged out by the fact you have to have covid tests etc in advance x

@glowingtwig if you go to the first page on this thread on the 29th @AMS19 posted the link to the previous thread called positive stories following a miscarriage or MMC. Lots of ladies posted their experiences on there. Also if you go to the miscarriage association website (there is a link somewhere on this thread) and look at the pages on management of miscarriage the information on there is what you are given at the hospital so you can read the real life stories on the website, on these threads and then you know what to expect xxxx

@glowingtwig that’s the other reason I went for the surgical option was because the medical one and natural meant you didn’t know when it would happen and how long it would take plus if you started to lose too much blood you would need to go to hospital. Just to put your mind at rest that it’s all done with the upmost dignity and you don’t feel/know a thing about what is going on. Equally if you had the option to not be put under GA which a lot of trusts do then you could maybe ask that a screen is put up like with a c section (not sure if that’s an option at all)
Ultimately it’s whatever is best suited for you and with every option there are advantages and disadvantages xxxx

@AMS19 I’ve just been reading about the recovery rooms being used as Covid wards. What a nightmare! Have they said where the MVA is coming from? You wouldn’t have foreseen this coming so you went for the option that was best for you at the time so don’t beat yourself up xxxx

Update from me, tablets are inside (sorry TMI) to loosen my cervix. So either way this is ending one way! I'm prepped ready now for the procedure so hoping it will happen in the next couple of hours! X

@DMT1982 came from another local hospital. Good thing about London is each hospital is only around 15/20mins away!

@AMS19 fantastic news. You’re all set then and ready to go, this will be all over with soon and you’ll see 2021 in leaving a horrible 2020 behind you. Thinking of you xxxx you’ve got this 💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻

@AMS19 I'm so so pleased it's going ahead.

@AMS19 I’m hoping you’re being seen now 🤞🤞🤞 xxxx

So glad for you it's going to go ahead @AMS19 goodbye awful 2020 and hello it all being over with.

Thank you @DMT1982 I'm leaning that way at the moment because it has dragged on so long now and I'm thinking that what's in there is so firmly attached it's going to take more than the medical management. Just so scared it will mess up my body going forward x

@AMS19 fingers crossed for you!

@glowingtwig I understand you’re worried about the risks and I was the same but I weighed up what I needed mentally as well as physically. Also all of the options carry a risk to them, even by doing nothing there is then a risk of infection and surgical management would be needed. A lot of ladies go on to have healthy pregnancies following a miscarriage and having some form of intervention. Yes there is a risk of scaring however it is minimal. It’s a massive decision I know and one you will go over a million times in your head like we all have xx

@AMS19 either your battery has gone or you’re having it done now, thinking of you xxxx

Wishing you well @ams19 and really hoping everything goes as smoothly as it can for you today

Okay I'm going to be honest, it was absolutely awful! My hospital didn't give me any pain relief at all, not even paracetamol! Youre meant to get gas and air. The reason was it was done in a scanning room in EPU!!! Jesus christ! I feel absolutely battered 😭😭😭😭

@DMT1982 glad to hear your procedure went smoothly. It's really helpful to hear the stories, hopefully gives me some idea of what I can expect next week. I've heard local hospital is very busy so will keep fingers crossed I can be seen x

@Seasalt1984 I think all hospitals are the same but also because of the festive and new year break all services are under pressure so hopefully come your turn next week there will be more staff to do the procedures.

@MAS50 how are you feeling now? Xx