Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC

[AMS19]

Hi ladies

A few of us got talking on another thread and found having each other in the same boat, whilst devastating, helpful. So here is a little thread so we can stay in touch and support each other through this journey.

Anyone who has recently experienced or is experiencing a MC/MMC please join us. We are just on the start of our journey ❤

I found out I had a MMC on 21st December at 9+5. This was following a scan that showed a baby with a heartbeat 3 weeks earlier. My body hasn't let go at all, with no bleeding, so I'm booked in for surgery tomorrow. The hardest thing waiting over Christmas 💔

@AMS19 okay. Not really any pain. Bit head achy and so far I've managed to drop lots of things though. I've had a shower as I felt yucky and I'm in my pjs watching WandaVision. Looking forward to have a drink in a few days.

Mentally, I don't know how I feel. I'm waiting for it to hit me tbh, which I know it will. I'm in two minds if we try again. My husband does but I don't know if I can go through this again. My MIL has told all my husbands family without asking us so we're quite upset about that.

I've now got to worry about having to see a cardiologist as they were concerned when my heart rhythm spiked. They think it was down to anxiety and panic but want to be sure.

Hope you are feeling okay x

@AMS19 aww thank you so much. I can’t tell you guys how much support this thread has given me - it’s literally like a lifeline right now 😘 I’m looking forward to it all being over so I can start the healing process. I’ll message once I’m out the other side! Xx

Good luck tomorrow @SuzieDeLaTour.

@CocoLoco88 I'm so sorry that you've had to join us. It must have been such a shock. Take good care of yourself x

@Enola41 shower and PJ sounds perfect 🥰 lots of rest and let your body heal. I would say for me the emotions haven't been straight line. I mean, generally they are definitely improving over time. But I have good days and bad days. Just be patient and do it in your own time.
I'm sorry about your MIL. That's really unfair. I hope you at least get the support you need from everyone ❤ do you have children already? X

@AMS19 Yes, we have a lovely little girl. She's only six and she's been a star this week. She doesn't know what's been happening but she knows that I've been poorly and had to keep going to hospital. It must be so stressful for her, I've tried to shield her as much as I can.

@Enola41 take it easy you have been through a lot physically and mentally (even if it hasn't fully sunk in yet).
I currently can't think about the idea of TTC at the moment I'm just focusing on little wins and hoping in time I will feel ready. But a massive part of me needs a break and a decent sodding holiday before even considering it!
There is no rush in those conversations yet just take self care time

@Enola41 that's lovely. Give her a big cuddle tonight ❤❤❤ she will get you through this. And if you do decide not to try again, then you have your little girl to have the best memories and life with xx

@SuzieDeLaTour good luck for tomorrow ❤️

@Enola41 I tried Wanda vision but it was a bit pants haha! Definitely no rush to think about trying again if you're not sure at the moment! And I'm sorry that your MIL violated your privacy 😢

@CocoLoco88 I'm sorry for your loss ❤️

@Scottishskifun @AMS19 I'm about 5 sips into a gin the size of my head and it's already hitting me like a ton of bricks 😂

Thank you @Pettylamby, @SuzieDeLaTour, @Enola41 and @LauraT94 - everybody is so kind here.

For the past couple of hours I have been bleeding fairly heavily and passing some what seem like quite big clots or pieces of something (sorry for grossness) - I gather that this is totally normal?!

I think the unknown of it all makes it much more scary. I’m thinking about taking up permanent residence in the loo...!

@CocoLoco88 passing clots and tissue with the bleeding is totally normal and is the pregnancy passing. You may find it useful to go into the Miscarriage Association page and look at the stories people post on there - I've found them really useful in helping to manage my expectations of what will happen! Hope this helps. There's loads of other helpful info on there too x

www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/your-feelings/your-stories/

@CocoLoco88 yes normal but if after several hours you are going through a maternity pad quickly or it gets very heavy then give the hospital a call just to speak it through. I was going through a maternity pad every 20-30 minutes and I had a stuck clot which was causing me to continue bleeding heavily. I was unlucky with this though and it is by no means a common effect

Yeap @CocoLoco88 I was told call if bleeding heavily for over 5 hours or if you go through a pad in less than an hour

Good morning ladies. At the hospital now, feeling a real mixture of emotions - disbelief this is happening again, relief to have the surgery finally here, sadness. What a rollercoaster!!
@LauraT94 that drink looks amazing! Hope you enjoyed it
@CocoLoco88 how’s your bleeding this morning? I hope it hasn’t been too bad overnight and you’re feeling ok x

Morning @SuzieDeLaTour ❤️ I bet it'll be a roller coaster of emotions all day but I hope it goes quickly and they don't leave you waiting around! Take some deep breaths and try to relax as much as possible - my pulse was over 120 the entire time I was in the other day haha!! My Fitbit congratulated me on exercising when I was actually just sitting still 😂 let us know how you get on if you feel up to it!

Gin was lovely thanks! 🍹

Morning @SuzieDeLaTour you are so close to being able to move forward. The relief feeling is so close now ❤ honestly this is the first day of rebuilding. This will definitely help you in your journey I promise. Everyone on here who has had surgery has had a really positive experience. You got this!!! Xx

@SuzieDeLaTour thinking of you today. It’ll be over before you know it and you’ll be sat up having a cuppa and eating toast before you know it xxx

@LauraT94 love your photo of your G&T, I bet that was lush. Your post about your fit bit congratulating you on a workout with your heart rate really made me chuckle.

@CocoLoco88 thank you for posting and like the other girls have said it’s so sad we welcome you here under such awful circumstances.

How was your night and how are you feeling? I hope you managed some sleep which I know is probably impossible when you’re worrying. Hopefully reading what others have been through and taken some comfort from their experiences xx

@LauraT94 @AMS19 thank you! I’m sticking my iPod on and trying to do my deep breathing. I’ve seen the consultant, signed all the forms so now just waiting! Eeek! That’s brilliant your FitBit congratulated you on exercising!! 🤣 I feel so sluggish at the moment - lockdown weight plus deciding to eat for 4 (hmmm!) hasn’t helped one little bit. I actually looked away when they weighed me ha ha! Xx

@DMT1982 thank you!! X

@SuzieDeLaTour yeah listen to some good music and zone out as much as possible. Within a few hours you'll snuggled at home in your PJs and a cuppa and it will allbbe behind you xx

Morning @SuzieDeLaTour, will be thinking of you this morning and hoping everything goes well. It’s so lovely to see others’ messages encouraging you that today will really be a day of beginning to rebuild.

Thank you @DMT1982, you’re absolutely right, it’s honestly been a lifeline to read of others’ experiences and to know we’re not alone in this.

Bleeding seems to have slowed a bit morning and I even got some sleep in chunks of a few hours at a time.

Got to take the second dose of the medication today at 9 and 12 and am properly dreading it. Trying to see it as doing something positive to help us move forward... x

@CocoLoco88 just think, ever hour that goes by is an hour you are closer to it being over. It definitely isn't going to be easy but you're absolutely doing incredible and this shows how incredibly strong you are. You should be so proud of yourself xx

@CocoLoco88 that’s good you managed to get some rest as it’s emotionally draining as well as physically draining.
Absolutely understand you’re dreading it and I think any of the options everyone dreads because it’s out of their control but like @AMS19 you’re moving in the right direction and it’ll all be over soon and you can start to heal. We are stronger than we give ourselves credit for and all this makes us feel very vulnerable but you can do this and will come out stronger for it xxx

Op over and done with 🙌🏻 Consultant said there was a lot to remove which made me feel a bit weird but I’m relieved all went well! Bleeding much more heavily than I did last time but feeling ok and they’ve strapped a warm blanket to my tummy which is quite nice! ☺️ I hope you’re all doing and feeling ok this morning xx

@CocoLoco88 thanks for the update and sounds like you’re having great care and that all went well. Yes can imagine it’s weird knowing you’ve had lots removed however they’ve clearly been thorough and not left anything behind so that’s positive. Rest up now and recover xxx