Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC

[AMS19]

Hi ladies

A few of us got talking on another thread and found having each other in the same boat, whilst devastating, helpful. So here is a little thread so we can stay in touch and support each other through this journey.

Anyone who has recently experienced or is experiencing a MC/MMC please join us. We are just on the start of our journey ❤

I found out I had a MMC on 21st December at 9+5. This was following a scan that showed a baby with a heartbeat 3 weeks earlier. My body hasn't let go at all, with no bleeding, so I'm booked in for surgery tomorrow. The hardest thing waiting over Christmas 💔

Good luck tomorrow, will be thinking of you. You're stronger than you think, you've got this. Hospital staff will make you feel important and safe, I promise ❤️ a day you'll never forget but it will give you some closure x

Thanks so much @mia2201 how you feeling today? Have you stated to take tests etc again yet to see if you are clear of HCG? X

I'm not too bad, thank you for asking, still spotting a bit but hospital said it's normal for a while. It will be two weeks tomorrow and they advised to take the test 3 weeks after. I will wait another week as i think a positive would set me off. I had a word with myself and decided to really stick to any medical advice, they really do know those things. I'm the kind of a person who likes to be 'one step ahead and know best'... I'll be patient with the miscarriage and my mental state! Have bought preconception pills though :) they're similar to pregnancy vitamins but I don't want to be taking them when I'm not pregnant (yet!). Hospital said to keep going with the folic acid if I'm planning to try again. Are you anxious about tomorrow? I was so stressed about the general anesthesia but I woke up feeling so calm on the day and the hospital just talked me through every tint step of the way there was no time for my brain to freak out. I hope you feel calm tomorrow, plan a nice afternoon when you get back, look after yourself and let other help x

@mia2201 I totally understand how you feel about wanting to wait until it is negative before testing. In the grand scheme of things 3 weeks is nothing, but in this situation every day goes so slowly. I was actually only aware I was pregnant for 6 weeks in total, which is crazy as I honestly felt like I had been pregnant for months. It really plays tricks on your sense of time doesn't it. Are you planning to try again?

I'm feeling okay about it. I had general to have my tonsils removed 4 years ago so am relatively relaxed about that part. I'd be a lot more stressed about being awake. I'm more nervous around the actual procedure and scarring/something going wrong. I know the chances are small but can't help but worry. I'm definitely ready to not feel nausea anymore. I resent it everytime I dry retch (I've done a lot of that this pregnancy) whereas before I brought me such comfort.

Good idea on the tablets. I've gone back to taking my pregnacare preconception ones again. I'm also taking Ubiquinol CoQ10 to try and help with egg quality.

We will get there x

Hi everyone @AMS19 @mia2201

Thanks for setting up this thread @AMS19 also thanks to everyone who shared their experiences on the previous page. I was actually reading a couple of the last posts last night and they made me cry. Everyone has been so lovely on here and all the experiences fill me with hope that we will be ok and come out the other side of this stronger and will have our babies.

@AMS19 you poor thing still having all the symptoms and your body not realising you have miscarried. That’s even more reason to have the surgical management and get yourself back to some kind of normality. Like you I also exercise and not being able to go for a run to clear my mind has been hideous.

@mia2201 thank you for posting on this thread. Are you the lady who had the surgical management mid December (apologies if not as my brain isn’t on top form!)

This time tomorrow we will both hopefully be through the operation or going down soon enough.

I am currently bidding on the egg book so look forward to starting reading that so thanks for recommending.

Xxx

@DMT1982 oh good luck on getting the book. I'm actually listening to the audio version of it. You can sign up to amazon audio books free trial and you get one book to keep for free, so I chose that one (then unsubsribed...). I lay in bed in the mornings listening to it and making notes! I still have pregnancy insomnia, have done since around 5 weeks, so wake up at 4/5am. So I quite like listening to it and doing research rather than laying there bored. It cna be a bit overwhelming all the advice but just break it down into small things to do.

Apparently I'm first on the list for tomorrow so praying it will be done really early. I have to be there for 7am! How you feeling about it? Do you know what time yours is? Xx

@AMS19 dammit I read this message after winning a bid on the book, doh! I will however remember that about the free book as there is another one I wanted so will take your advice and subscribe and then cancel after I have the audio book.

Insomnia is bloody awful isn’t it and also comes at a time when you need the sleep more than ever! I keep getting indigestion at night so take ages to drop off. Think that’s linked to possible coeliacs though although it was worse when I was pregnant.

You’re first on the list, fantastic news. The nurse said yesterday i should be down by 9 and ready to go home by midday.

I keep reading all the hospitals are at capacity and we may go into Tier 5 so just want this over and done with now.

Also on a side note, my friend told me to drink 100% Pomegranate juice and eat the core of a pineapple as it apparently helps make your lining nice and fluffy for implantation. It maybe worth trying that once you start TTC again as it worked for her xxxx

Good luck tomorrow, DMT, i hope it goes smoothly and you're back home before you know it. Yes, i had the procedure 2 weeks ago! I think us three are very proactive :) like all the tips! My tip is for you to find a podcast called 'as a woman's. It's by a doctor and she's a powerhouse of fertility knowledge. Episode 15 is particularly helpful, i feel very empowered and optimistic after listening to it 4 times already. I hope you enjoy this as much as I did. Will be thinking of both tomorrow, i was first in the q as well! Let us know how you feel after x

My phone autocorrects so much, i must be more careful. The podcast is called as a woman. By Natalie Crawford md. You will love how empowering she is!

@DMT1982 ahh to be honest having it in wiritng will be easier to refer back to, so not a bad thing! But yes, the audiobook can be a tip for the future.
Oh I really hope I'm home by lunchtime. The dream. I'm actually working today (from home obviously) and it is quite nice working on something not baby related.
I did actually munch on pineapple core when we were trying the month I fell, so definitely will again. I'm not going to properly try until after my first period, but also not going to protect before then either.
When is your Celleac test? I've just bought one through the post, apprebtly 96.9% accurate. You do it at home and get an instant result. Hopefully should arrive in the next week or so

@mia2201 amazing thanks so much for sharing. I will 100% download the podcast and start listening. I agree, it is great we are all being so proactive. Even if nothing we does help and it is all luck, mentally I think it helps knowing we are doing the best we can!
I'll definitely update once the surgery is done. My local hospital had to close on Sunday due to loads of covid cases (bloody London) so praying it doesn't impact tomorrow at all!

Xx

Good luck for your surgery @AMS19

I was booked in for the 31st but started miscarrying naturally at about 5am on Boxing Day. I was due a Covid test today but instead they did a scan and confirmed I won't need surgery now.

I think I've had a slightly easier experience than some, the pain wasn't too bad (bad period pain level), but even so it's been a shitty few days & I've spent it on the sofa just reading and sleeping. Been completely wiped out and today was the first time I left the house since Christmas Day.

Hoping you're all looking after yourselves and being looked after x

@ginandtonic80 you poor thing! Ultimately it is a better outcome than surgery though so good your body realised what it needed to do. My body isn't even spotting and my nausea/sore boobs are still very strong. I should have been 11 weeks tomorrow so I dont think, given I lost it nearly 4 weeks ago, it is going to budge!
Just allow yourself time to grieve and feel sorry for yourself. Yesterday I spent the whole day doing a jigsaw puzzle to take my mind off it. Was this your first MC? We are all here for support so rant on here as much as you need to, that is the whole point of this thread! Xx

@AMS19 Honestly my boobs didn't even get sore until after I'd found out there was no heartbeat, and then they were super painful for about a week!

@ginandtonic80 yeah pretty sure my nausea has stepped up its game 🙄

Hello, unfortunately I need to join this thread. I miscarried at 6 weeks this afternoon & feel totally shocked and devastated. It was my first pregnancy and I started spotting two days ago. I knew what was happening and the sense of powerlessness was awful. It's helpful to read all your stories

@Redfoxinthesnow I'm so so sorry. Have you had a scan to confirm? It is absolutely devastating and I'm so sorry you are here. We are all in the same boat so totally understand how you feel lovely.
I actually originally started a thread on a pregnancy board (that was how we all "met") which is fully of amazing stories. I would highly recommend reading it, it has helped me so much!

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/pregnancy/4113076-Positive-stories-after-a-MMC?msgid=103071257

Sending you virtual hugs xx

@AMS19 my scan is booked for tomorrow afternoon but I'm 99% sure. Thanks so much for sending the link, I was so ignorant about how common miscarriages are, I wish I had better awareness before TTC.

@mia2201 that’s great thanks for posting the podcast i have downloaded and that’ll be me sorted for hospital tomorrow as I can tune into that instead of listening up the background noise of a ward.
It was reassuring to hear your experience with the surgery and recovery so thank you.

@AMS19 I have also been WFH and it’s kept me occupied otherwise I think I would have been overthinking things most of the day.

I think there is something in the pineapple and Pom juice as I also fell when I was drinking/eating it. I think I’ll stick with it as it can’t be bad for us with all the vitamins and antioxidants.

I’ve had a blood test for coeliac however that’s come back negative. The doctor says the bloods can still show you are negative and the only way to find out is to have a biopsy of your stomach lining which is the next step. I think it’s more likely to be a bacteria I caught from food poisoning over two years ago in Morocco (helicobacter or something like that) but some of my symptoms also fall into the coeliac box so the biopsy will check for both.

I would be interested to hear about your result and test though if it’s saying it’s 96% accurate. Also you mentioned thyroid and that got me thinking I’ll also ask for that to be checked which I’m sure it was a while back but I’ll double check.

How are feeling about tomorrow? I think if I hadn’t read all the experiences on here and had this support I would be a wreck!

@ginandtonic80 I agree with with @AMS19 said and just allowing yourself time to grieve, sleep, daydream, cry or whatever emotions you’re going through because it’s our bodies way of moving on and dealing with what we’ve been through. I have found it so difficult to do nothing but like you I’ve needed to and I know it’s what my body and also my mind needs. It’ll thank you for it later down the line I’m sure.

Xxx

@Redfoxinthesnow sending you the biggest hug and of course this thread is the last place you wanted to be, we completely understand. We are all very much in tune with our bodies and fear the worst but until you have your scan try to remain positive because there are also lots of stories on here where ladies bleed and it’s all ok, I do hope your are one of those ladies however if not then we are all here to support you.

No one goes into baby making thinking about miscarriage so please don’t think you’ve be naive because you haven’t. It’s a taboo subject and I’ve not discussed it with any of my friends so you don’t realise how common it is until you chat to others on here about it xxx

@Redfoxinthesnow well I'm going to keep everything crossed crossed you that this isn't the place you need to be. Please keep us updated! I totally get how you need to think of and prepare yourself for the worst.

@DMT1982 yeah im definitely going to get some of the pomegranate juice, hadn't heard that one. Like you say, can't do any harm!
The tyroid blood tests I'm getting are much more in depth and sent off to the lab. The coeliac one you test yourself. I'm tempted to just cut out gluten anyway, but I'll see what the tests show I guess.
I'm actually feeling strangely okay about tomorrow. I'm more stressed about it getting cancelled given how bad cases in London are now and how overrun the hospitals are. So i think I'll just be relieved assuming it goes ahead. I'll be devastated if I have waited all this time and ended having to go down the medical management route. Yeah that other thread definitely helped! I'll message as soon as I'm out in case you read it before you go in to make you feel better xx

@mia2201 I've downloaded episodes 4, 11, 16, 63, 70, 52, 51, 40, 35. Lol. You said episode 15, is that pregnancy related? Or just good in general? I might listen to 16 tomorrow given it is on miscarriage

Hi. Just thought I'd share my story if you don't mind? I found out I'd had a MMC on 22 December at what should have been 7 weeks. Went into EPU on the 24th and had 2 scans to confirm no heartbeat. I went in for my SMOM today and I have to say, it's the nicest day I've had in a week. Sorry if that sounds weird or insensitive but I felt sooo looked after, the nurses were amazing and it was really nice to be knocked out for an hour or so. I've got some light bleeding but nothing too bad and no cramps at the moment. I know I'm still woozy from the anaesthetic and my hormones are going to go crazy so I'm fully prepared for dark days to come, but I just wanted to let those of you who have your procedure tomorrow know not to be anxious. I promise you you've had worse days in the last couple of weeks than you will have tomorrow.
Hope they go well xx

@Redfoxinthesnow I agree with @AMS19 we understand why you also want to prepare for the worst and I did the same when I thought I was miscarrying but also I read the positive stories as they gave me hope as well. It’s mad how many ladies bleed early on and go on to have successful pregnancies, equally a lot do end in miscarriage so all you can do is see what tomorrow brings. Make sure you have support around you for whatever the outcome xxx

@AMS19 I’m also worrying it’ll get cancelled and that’s my overriding fear over actually having the procedure. It’s classed as the emergency gynaecologist unit so hopefully these procedures are classed as emergencies and not routine. I have to be there for 7.15, what about you?

The thyroid test are you having done by someone taking your bloods? Xxx

@AMS19 @DMT1982 Thanks for your good wishes but I'm not holding out much (any) hope as I had massive clots in my bleeding and my pregnancy symptoms are disappearing. I hope things go as well as possible for you both tomorrow.

Ironically a good friend of mine experienced a miscarriage last month and told me about it, the first time I've ever heard someone speak openly about them. I remember thinking how horrific it sounded, never imagining that I'd be in the same position a month later. This thread is really helping me to process what has happened and how beneficial it can be to share experiences.

Oh wow @MAS50 thank you SO much for sharing that with us. You have no idea how amazing this is to hear, I'm so grateful. I'm so so sorry for what you are going through as well. It is so tough. Im really glad today went as well as it could do and you felt looked after and cared for. We all have a long road ahead of us but I'm hoping in a few months time we will look back as a distant memory with our little babies kicking away. Sending you lots of love and healing

@DMT1982 yeah the threat of it being cancelled definitely helps as a distraction! I need to be there for 7am. Because I've had zero bleeding ill need to have a tablet to relax my cervix apparently. You should get away with it given you've had some bleeding. Not sure if that will push my surgery back whilst they wait for that to work. It absolutely sucks going alone doesn't it. At least we have each other now 🙂

@redfoxinthesnow I remember being so worried about having a chemical and being so relieved when I got to 5 weeks. Then when I saw the heartbeat everyone said it would all be okay. Yes deep down I knew something wasn't right. I canr explain it, I just had doubts. So when I found out about the MMC last Monday, although upset, I wasn't surprised. Must be my instinct I guess. Honesrly having this forum helps so much. If it is bad news we will help you get through it xx