Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC

[AMS19]

Hi ladies

A few of us got talking on another thread and found having each other in the same boat, whilst devastating, helpful. So here is a little thread so we can stay in touch and support each other through this journey.

Anyone who has recently experienced or is experiencing a MC/MMC please join us. We are just on the start of our journey ❤

I found out I had a MMC on 21st December at 9+5. This was following a scan that showed a baby with a heartbeat 3 weeks earlier. My body hasn't let go at all, with no bleeding, so I'm booked in for surgery tomorrow. The hardest thing waiting over Christmas 💔

@Redfoxinthesnow darling girl I'm so so sorry. We are all here for you and we are going to help you through this. Has everything gone? I hope that is one silver lining for you. This is going to be a hard few days but you will come out the otherside. Just take one day at a time. Don't put anytime pressure on yourself, be kind to yourself, and lean on all of us who know exactly what you are going through xx

@AMS19 A small bit is still there but I think they expect it to go naturally. They're going to contact me with my blood results tomorrow so I'm sure I'll find out more then. I haven't got anything planned for the next few days, I almost want to be busy to take my mind off it but I do need to process it.

@Redfoxinthesnow I'm so sorry for your loss. It's an awful group to be a part of. Thinking of you xx

@SuzieDeLaTour pleased to hear you had some good news!xx

@Redfoxinthesnow find something to keep your mind busy. I decided to do a 1000 piece jigsaw. Random I know, as an adult I've never done a jigsaw, but it was actually great to sit there for hours in my PJs doing that, a complete mind numbing nothing way to pass the time. Hopefully you can find something similar xx

@SuzieDeLaTour what wonderful news to log back on and see, I’m so relieved for you and your family. It seems that kids worry us throughout our entire lives, even before they are born! Thank you for the update and happy new year to you. I wish you and your little bean all the best for 2021. I understand your anxiety will not subside throughout out this pregnancy however at least you have a reason for the bleeding and one that is very common xxx

@Redfoxinthesnow I’ve only just seen your message as it didn’t appear the first time I looked. My heart goes out to you and hurts for you. There are no words that can take away how you’re feeling just love and understanding.
Please try and take some comfort from the experiences on the previous thread and this one about how ladies have gone on to have their rainbow babies, you’ll have your time but this time was not to be and it’s through no fault of your own remember that. Xxx

@AMS19 hope you ate your body weight in cheese and had a long hot bubble bath. Please keep us updated tomorrow but my I’ll be wishing for you once I wake up in the morning 💋

@MAS50 that is random, you would think you would have a temperature with that but if not then like you say must be a random after reaction to the GA and insomnia.

All ok my end so far however will not take it for granted and will try to chill out the next few days. Thankfully we are still in T4 so for once I am happy that any birthday plans have been cancelled. It’ll be a day of cake, presents and a glass of bubbles in the evening.

Sending everyone lots of love xxx

@Redfoxinthesnow. I was just reading back to your original post and saw you were 6 weeks. I had a miscarriage the pregnancy before this miscarriage at just before 6 weeks. I had very little bleeding or pain, almost like a light period which was very strange as I expected more. During the week to ten days after the bleeding had stopped (it lasted for 2 days then some brown blood that was it) we had intercourse still (not TTC just trying to make ourselves feel normal and better really) and we fell pregnant straight away much to our shock! We had an early scan at 8.5 weeks with a gynaecologist who said you ovulate early after a miscarriage. I’m not saying for one minute this is at the forefront of your mind because it wasn’t for us it just happened when we were not thinking about it if that makes sense. Just so you know that what you’re going through now is cruel but you will come out the otherwise of it and with any lucky a sticky bean next time xxx

Other side not otherwise xx

@DMT1982 I had a LOT of pizza. I'm actually getting quite a lot of lower back pain and some very mild cramping. There was the tiniest (blink and you'd miss it) spotting. Just once and nothing since. I wonder if my body is starting to realise...I really dont want it to all happen tonight, but I wouldnt mind if it just started slowly, not enough they would still do surgery, but enough that if they didn't it would look like it was going to happen naturally....
I'm so glad you're all settled at home. I really hope tomorrow is okay. Bubbles and cake is definitely the way forward. If I get my surgery I'll have some cake with you to celebrate xx

Hi Ladies unfortunately I’m part of the club no one wants to be a member of and am sorry we all find ourselves here.

I went for a private scan at what should of been 7+2 the Sat before Christmas but the sac was measuring about 5 weeks. They referred me to nhs and I had a scan 10 days ago where they agreed measuring too small for my dates but have had to wait and am being rescanned tomorrow. But I started bleeding on Sunday so know it won’t be good news tomorrow and really just want this whole thing over with now.

I had a MMC last October at 10 weeks when I found out we’d been expecting twins but neither baby had a heartbeat. Just can’t believe I’m going through this all again.

Last time I did have the surgery as just didn’t feel I could deal with having to loose both babies naturally but this time I was thinking about going for the tablets as it’s earlier in the pregnancy and now I’m just terrified about how painful and distressing that might be but also know I wouldn’t be able to have surgery until the 4th Jan at the earliest.

Sorry all of that was just a bit of a brain dump.

@AMS19 I really hope you can have the surgery tomorrow and they don’t keep you hanging around too long.

@DMT1982 I really hope you continue to feel
Ok. I would just say that the GA wore off for me last time about 3am and the day just hit me like a tonne of bricks so would suggest being dosed up and taking a hot water bottle to bed with you.

Sending you all lots of hugs and I really hope 2021 is a better year for us all. xxx

Thanks so much everyone for your kind words. I've had a long shower and I'm going to watch Netflix (and that will be my plan for the next few days)!

@ELM7 I'm so so sorry. It is such a totally sh*t thing to go through, I cannot imagine how hard it is with twins too, and now going through it again. There are no words to make you feel better, and I know right now everything feels totally hopeless. We are all here though to support each other through this.

Something I said to the girl in was in hospital with earlier, and this applies to all of us, is one day, when we are holding our little babies, we won't regret anything of this experience. In fact, we will be so grateful it happened. Because if it hadn't had, we wouldn't have that particular baby who we will love dearly. So suddenly all this will make sense, and we will be glad it happened as it brought us to our child xx

@AMS19 I really fancied pizza tonight but the one I wanted was sold out so I’m very jealous of your pizza feast 😋

Our bodies are so complicated and wonderful at the same time. I wonder whether the adrenaline of today and not knowing has kick started something, only time will tell. Also the mind is so powerful and has such an effect on our physical state. Once I had the miscarriage confirmed at the private scan within hours I started to bleed like a period which was strange as I had only had brown spotting and a tiny bit of blood up until that point. The sonographer said that a lot of ladies leave the scan and begin to bleed (it was an external scan so not internal) so maybe the realisation for me that I had miscarried started something and maybe the stress of today has started something, it’s all so complex isn’t it.
I have hope that you’ll get your surgery tomorrow. Get some sleep because even with some light bleeding they won’t stop the operation unless it’s obvious you’re doing it naturally. Xxx

Thanks so much @DMT1982 honestly speaking to you is helping me so much xxx

@ELM7 welcome to the thread and I'm so sorry that you've had to go through this horrible experience twice. I only joined yesterday and everyone has been incredibly supportive.
@AMS19 That's a really thoughtful point about how this will seem in the long term.

Hi ladies, can I join the club no one wants to join too please?
Here's my long story...
I had some brown bleeding really early on and was scanned, they told me to rescan in a week as everything was too small. They found two gestational sacs at that scan, the following day I had a massive bleed and was hospitalised. I was finally let out and made to wait a week to see if I lost the baby/babies. Amazingly that second scan they found three gestational sacs but could only find one baby at 6+1 with a heartbeat. I was told I would need to be scanned by the consultant two weeks later to look better at the three.
I went to EPU for my third scan yesterday which should have been with the consultant and wasn't... it was with the lady prior who had referred me to be told she was still confused by all three sacs but the baby had only grown a tiny bit and had no heartbeat. I was phoned later in the day to be told I would have to wait a week for another scan (after being promised a follow up that afternoon or the next day) and that the consultant felt it was a pregnancy loss by the images.
The worst thing was the last two weeks and after that heartbeat I had no bleeding and the morning sickness abs sore boobs ramped up big time.
Currently awaiting a follow up scan next Wednesday to be told the same info and to discuss "options" xx

@AMS19 I really hope your surgery gets to go ahead tomorrow.

@DMT1982 I'm so glad yours was able to go ahead and I hope you're okay and have a speedy recovery.

@ELM7 I'm so sorry this is the second time you've had to go through this 💔

I'm so sorry that your surgery was cancelled @AMS19 and that you are having to go through this too.

I really can't decide between medical management or the surgery. I'm exhausted thinking about it x

@ALB1990 I'm so so sorry. That sounds absolutely heartbreaking and so awful it being dragged out. It must be so hard being in this limbo. Just take each day over the next week until the scan day by day. My only advice is to research what you want to do - expectant / medical / surgery management in advance so you can get the ball rolling when you go in rather than dragging it on for any longer

@glowingtwig it is a really tough one. On the link I sent you for the other thread pm the pregnancy board, all the women strongly suggested surgery. But the waiting has been tough, I've waited 9 days to start the process just to have surgery cancelled. If I don't have surgery tomorrow I'm going to risk medical management

Seeing you both lots of love xx

For anyone who is new and haven't read this thread, please do! It really helped me so much. And @DMT1982 too I think

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/pregnancy/4113076-Positive-stories-after-a-MMC?watched=1&msgid=103076530#103076530

Thank you @AMS19 I read through that post yesterday night and found it really comforting.
I think the baby must have died about 2 weeks ago based on how little it had grown from the scan date so I'm hoping in another week they won't push me to wait much longer as I've not passed it naturally. After reading about everyone's experiences I'd like to go the surgical route. I'm hoping that even though my area is in tier 4 it can still be possible 🤞 x

@ALB1990 @glowingtwig I read this leaflet in advance which was very helpful too

www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/Management-of-Miscarriage-Oct-2020.pdf

Xx

@ALB1990 I'm in tier 4, I'm in London so has been in tier 4 since 19th. It was still an option just been a pain given the state my hospital is in currently. But it should still be an option for you xx

@AMS19 thank you, that's really helpful. I'm central Bedfordshire so went into tier 4 same time as you so I hope my hospital will follow the same suit as yours x